I'm baaaacckkk... I just got finished with my musical, and had an AMAZING time. I'm also getting to see Phantom for my second time live in like... 14 days!!! AAAHHH! I don't think I've ever been so happy at one time AND EXCITED!!!! IT'S PHANTOM FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. All these great emotions inspired me to write at midnight last night. SO I wrote this entire chapter last night, and don't have the patience to look over it right now, though I did review over it once. I changed some stuff that differs from In My Childish Fears because I didn't like how it worked out. I'm pretty sure I'm going to keep resuming this differing from IMCF because I want to change a LOT of things. Not to mention I'm going to be SO inspired to write after I see Phantom. Great stuff to come, guys... I PROMISE!

PLEASE REVIEW!!!

~The Phantom's Flutist~

Chapter 7

Deceptive Cadence

Things messed up very quickly, I must say. Quite frankly, I'm not surprised. I had hoped this night would be perfect, a time in order for Christine and I to set our priories straight and be a little more at peace in sharing the one thing we both love and adore.

It went down the wrong turn very quickly. After all, it was my first date with her... no, it can't be perfect, and there has to be someone to mess it u for us. In this case, it's the worst possible scenario.

I was walking her down to the lobby so that she could see the beauty of it, for I knew she liked the architecture of theaters because I heard her talking about it once. I decided to get her out of the theater in order for her to enjoy it before the crowds came, and both of us would be uncomfortable. I was walking at a decent pace in order to do so, and suddenly I can feel her pulling against me.

"Christine!"

Dammit.

It was that boy's voice... that wretched boy who she so loves. I prayed really quickly that since this was a date with me, she wouldn't be rude and turn around to respond to him. How quickly I was to judge.

"Raoul!" She beckoned back, pulling with all of her weight against my hand, so I had to literally try to drag her out of the opera house. She cried out, and tried to go against me, which never has worked, and shouted "Help me!"

Out of all of this, that was what really angered me. For the record, I was not harming her in any sort of way. I've touched nothing except for her hand, I've done nothing for her to fear me... except for when she saw my face, but by calling for help... she would be going against what she said to me... that all of those words that she told me were all lies only to calm me, and she didn't actually mean them.

"Let go of her!" The pathetic boy called back, and sprinted towards her, yet another mistake on his part. I had enough of him... stealing Christine away while ruining our night...I've never actually hated him... I figured he was just a bump in the road from winning Christine, that he didn't actually love Christine and that it was just a teenage infatuation. I don't blame him... how could you not love Christine? She's everything that a young man could ever want... Beautiful, charming, naïve... I could go on... but now he gives me more reasons to actually despise him.

"She's mine!" I snarled back, and ran forth, my hand wrapping around his neck in a position in order to reduce his air flow through the jugular. I pitched him onto a wall, so that I could easily let the air flow stop completely. My fingers, one by one, crunched into them... one by one my problems with him were slowly disappearing as he turned a fine shade of blue.

But that was before I heard Christine's voice pleading with me, pulling on my coat, and crying harshly, imploring me to let him go so she could go away from him and leave this place. It was convincing enough...

I let the boy fall to the ground, ruining his expensive suit, which I could tell was just as finely tailored as my own, so the boy had money, making him all the more attractive to an orphan girl who's known him for a while... he's also handsome, and every stereotype that a girl only dreams of in those silly novels. And I hated him more right then than you could ever imagine. I spared his life only for Christine's sake. Unfortunately, tonight would be filled with rummaging through video cameras, and destroying all evidence of this event, only making my evening much worse than it already was.

Not only that but Christine was obviously petrified. She was shaking as I had to now actually drag her out of the opera house and throw her into the car as I got in on the other side. I was angry enough not to care for her and her pathetic crying, but her sobs only got worse.

"We were having a fine time until he showed up." I said shortly, bothering to look at her in her sad frame... She wasn't going to get over this as easily as she surprisingly got over my face. She really did care for him, and that only pained me more than you could imagine. "Hush, darling..."I called to her sweetly, reaching out to comfort her, but she shrunk into the seat of the car to turn away from it, so I put it back to my lap. "I wasn't going to kill him." I lied smoothly.

"Yes you were! You were!" She screamed at me, in a strong fit of anger. "I saw what you did! What you looked like! What you said! How could you not want to kill him!?"

She was so angry, her entire face turned a brilliant red... It reminded me almost of my mother before she wanted to slap me. "Don't you touch me!" She said when I tried to reach out to her again... and she sounded like my mother as well, reprimanding me for doing something bad only by the presence of her tears and thorough anger.

I stayed silent, fearing that I would begin to have more connections to a long lost and better left forgotten past.

All was lost... everything we built that night was gone instantly, and there was nothing I could do but be her faithful servant once more. I was angry as ever, but I restrained whatever I had left in my silence. The car ride lasted for what seemed like hours.

Once we got back to our home, I screamed at her to go to her room, and she screamed back, "I was already going!" And I heard her slam her door shut. I followed after her silently in order to lock her door, and all I could hear were her sobs, and that singular sound haunted me the rest of the night for I spent it without music... and simply went a little to far with morphine, quite possibly at a deathly rate. I fell asleep just as quickly as the morphine came.

I woke up very early in the morning, too early, it felt... I was so tired, not just physically, but everything seemed to ache. I thought it the after-effects of the morphine, for it was so much of a dosage that I'm not sure how my body will take it... It's not like myself to realize whether something is unhealthy or not. Before Christine, I wouldn't care if it caused my death when I woke up or not... I've been in so many near-death experiences, that it never perturbed me again. Now that Christine is here... I had to be more responsible for her, but she seems to be causing all this... More likely than not... her existence in my life will be the death of me, and if it is like I believe it is... God has a wicked sense of humor.

I took up the courage to go to her room and beg for forgiveness later in the afternoon. Come to find out from Anne, she was still in her night clothes, and laying on the bed, unmoving. I had to do something about this... I wasn't going to let her wilt away from me again, no matter how much of my fault it is.

I knocked on her door lightly. "Christine?" My voice sounded surprisingly tired. "You can't ignore me forever... it's noon." I noted shortly.

The door was partially open, so I cracked it open a little more to see her still laying down, except, thank God, she's changed out of her night clothes.

"Answer me." She looked up from her pillow, to reveal that she was crying, her cheeks were very puffy and red. She looked uncomfortably tired.

"Christine, please don't cry anymore, you know I hate to see you cry." I said to her, coming closer to the bed, and she moved back, as if it was a magnetic reaction. "Please don't be frightened of me... I'll never harm you... I promise to be good..."

Once again, I received no answer. "I'll be very good... In fact, this will never happen again..." Silence again, which only made me twice as much desperate as I was before. "Christine! Please... Answer... give me any sign that you are listening... Forgive me! Oh, forgive me!" I exclaimed, leaning down to grab her hand. She stared at my hand for the longest time before she pulled away. It was so strange. I was losing her... she was so dead. Very dead. I couldn't bare it.

"All I want is the real Christine back... the one who smiled with her father, and would sing her heart out for him... now I want her back... No matter how much you deny it, I love you very much! If you could just see!"

"Stop it, Erik!" She spat suddenly, threateningly.

I was aghast, the first thing she does is yell at me!

"What do you mean?" I was so very confused at this girl.

"You don't understand! And you never will! You don't go and try to kill my boyfriend, then come back and plead forgiveness. It doesn't work like that."

Her boyfriend? She has only been to see him once since he moved back to this part of the country. I wasn't about to pitch another argument, especially for someone who she will never see again. I wasn't about to make that announcement to her. Not now... later tomorrow...

I was caught for what to say... "Then what do you want me to say, Christine?" I asked hotly.

"That you won't try to harm him again. He didn't do anything! You attacked him for no good reason."

"You screamed for help." I curled my hands into fists at my sides so tightly, I thought I might make my hands bleed.

She paused, looking for something to say to that. "You scared me!"

"Yes, I do seem to cause that effect to you and others."

"Tell me that you won't harm him or anyone else, and maybe... maybe I'll forgive you. You must promise."

"Yes! I promise!" I said instantly.

"I'll be very angry if you don't keep that promise, Erik." She told me shortly, watching me as I came to my knees before her, wanting to kiss her so much, and hold her in my arms as if everything was better. She still looked so uncomfortable and awkward.

"Of course!" I replied, of course at that moment I would have said 'of course' to anything if it meant that she would be happier with me.

"Thank you," She replied, not all the way relieved, but she was better than before. We were both silent in our own thoughts, as I got up from my knees.

"Now... are you too tired for a lesson, or not?" I asked, almost imploring that she wasn't tired and I shouldn't have asked.

"No, I'll be fine..." She sighed.

"Are you sure?" Which was kind of a blinded question, as long as she was willing, who was I to stop her? As long as I could hear her sing again for me.

"Yes." She replied simply.

"Good."

Today's lesson actually went very well. Whether it was the emotion that drove her forth or not, she was louder and more sure of herself today, and her voice exceeded beyond expectations. Her ranged also moved up, almost into the coloratura area, which made me very proud of her. She was vastly improving more than I expected... making it probably the most succession I've ever heard of in a voice.

"It won't be much longer before you can perform. Your father would be very proud."

She looked at me hopefully, and then back down to her feet. "It could be very nerve-wracking, you know..."

"Why do you say that?" I bid her to continue.

"Because... Well, I heard you critique Carlotta last night... I'm sure it's not just you who would be that cruel if someone has a bad night or maybe... something wrong happened...."

She was judging off of my critique! I even considered myself harsh, when I step back and look at what I have said about some singers... some were actually very awful that they lost their careers because another critic agreed with me, but it's part of the life of a stage performer. Not that I would know entirely, because I wouldn't. It's always been an impossible dream of mine... to be in an opera myself. No, my performing standards have never exceeded much out of what's considered normal stage performing...

"Christine, don't say that about yourself." I told her. "You're far too strong for that." Which was sort of a lie... she used to be that strong, though. "I've seen you on the stage before, how you light up, and put your soul out there for the world to see..."

"My only solo was 'Oh Holy Night.' That's nothing special."

"It was simply remarkable for someone of that age, and you've only exceeded that level by ten times already."

"You're biased."

"No... I'm hardly a biased person when it comes to music."

And then something remarkable happened... she smiled! Only a little... but just enough to stop my heart for a few beats and then restart.

"With my help, you can be in anything you desire to be in..." I said, sighing, trying hard not to show how much her smile effected me.

"That's not fair! Don't do that!"

"Of course not," I replied, what was supposed to be sarcastically. Her voice is now mine... the moment she stepped foot into this house, her voice was mine. She doesn't understand it yet, but she will. I busied myself in order to not look at her, because I didn't want to laugh, she would find it weird... but I knew she was giving me the strangest of looks.

"Are you hungry?" I asked suddenly, randomly.

"Yes." She answered far too quickly.

The next few days seemed to be far too long for my taste. Things moved slowly, and leisurely, which was nice to a point, but it got annoying really fast when Christine didn't talk to me. In return, I sent Anne away so that she would have to choose to talk to me. Anne, of course, didn't go down without a fight, but I assured her Christine would be fine, that she was finally getting used to the house, and I wasn't about to do something "stupid" as she put it after she slapped me... or tried to, after I attempted to threaten her away which virtually never works with someone as stingy as herself.

Anyways, the point is, Christine was forced to talk to me more. After all that time, she started having casual conversations with me again, and we went into detail. Or at least she did... I would never go into detail about my life for her sake... It was too much of a burden to bare, and she already has so many already.

The better I got to physically know Christine, the more I think I fell in love with her, if that was at all possible. Whether she knew it or not, every little thing she did toward me only made me more attracted to her.

It was a great and terrible feeling... this irrevocable love and adoration and she had no idea of it. I wished she would, but I found that the more I told her I loved her, the farther apart she would get from me, which only made both of us uncomfortable.

She won't love me back for any time in the near future, but she and I had all the time in the world, as far as I could tell. One excellent day she will come to love me, and whenever that day is will be the happiest day in my life... But for now, unrequited love is slowly killing me inside.

One night she and I had dinner outside in my garden, which was something that really pleased her. She was becoming paler as time went on, and I would have none of it. She needed fresh air badly, so I couldn't refuse her when she begged me for her to go outside. Italian dinner seemed to be the most favored among the both of us, to be exact.

I went through so many cookbooks in order to find the best dish and the best mix of spices in order to create the best sauce... it took me just about all day. I was never the best cook, but I was skilled in the area... just something more to learn when there's time on your hands, and nothing to spend it with.

I took her outside, arm and arm with myself, the dim light matched her features so beautifully, it was very hard to keep my eyes off of her. My own personal angel... I could never seem to completely soak in her presence, ever, for it was always so unreal when she was calm, and we both would have a good time with the company of each other.

I pretended she was my wife... that she will one day be when she is old enough... maybe, if not before. And instead of it being the night, we were in the day time, and I could stroll about without my mask, and she wouldn't care... and neither would the other people that would be in the same park as well. Everything would be so normal... I could live a normal life, and not that of which is all I've ever known. I wouldn't kill anymore, and I would have a steady career in composing... Perhaps create the next widely known opera, which was something I dreamed of ever since I was a very little boy, and I first heard an opera singer sing... The most extraordinary sound that came out of her mouth filled me with curiosity and wonder...

Ah... my fantasies are so grand, I could write a length novel on my daily fantasies, paint an entire alternative life through my own thoughts.

We had a short conversation, nothing much, only a few polite comments about the food I made, yet I knew it wasn't that wonderful. She was thoughtfully silent, for I knew she was in deep thought about something judging by the way that she stared at the sky. I could only stare at her, hardly obvious to her, but I knew she knew.

"Erik?" She asked suddenly. I loved when she said my name. It was so gentle and careful, and nobody has ever said my name like that. "Why do you love me? I'm not pretty... and I'm so young and stupid and naïve." She went on, "and I'm not skinny, I'm impatient... and angry all the time..."

"Christine... you judge yourself far too harshly." I interrupted. "And quite frankly... whether you want to believe it or not... you're beautiful... very beautiful. You only look at your flaws, when your perfections outweigh them. I can't tell you why I love you... We would be out here for a long time..."

I looked back to her, and she looked at me, as if she was just struck in headlights, which was such an accustomed look for her whenever I look at her. "You make no sense."

"I don't think it should. " I replied. I shuffled with my hands a little bit before returning my eyes back to her, who was now staring off into space for a moment, thoughtful once more. Now, I was grateful enough... that maybe she was thinking about me. "It's getting a dark... we should be heading inside."

"No!" she spat suddenly. And then went back into herself because of her sudden outburst. "Just a little longer!" She begged. It was nice, I suppose...

"I can't deny you anything..." I sighed, though she was still shivering when the wind blew through the trees as the sun disappeared through them. I studied the open space above the trees, and named off constellations in my head. "Look, Christine! To the left." I instructed, once I saw a moving dot across the sky.

"A shooting star..." She breathed, and looked up in wonder, which was quite adorable... She once gave me that look when she first came here. I laughed lightly.

"Make a wish, my child..." She leaned her head back and shut her eyes, something more that was adorable.

I wished to whatever would listen... that she would be mine. I prayed so very hard that she would one day be mine, so that she would smile because of me, and be happy with me... One day... we both would be so very happy and my fantasies might come true... at least part of them.

We headed back inside after a little while, because I could now see the permanent goosebumps. She asked to come back outside the next day, and I agreed. If it meant spending more time just with the both of us, with the intimacy of the night, it was good for our relationship.

I watched her sleep again, as I do almost every night, except the nights when I can't stand myself. I figure I could find what she was thinking of through her sleep, depending on her state of peace, or whatever dream she is having. How I wished I could read her mind... What she really thinks of me...