"What's wrong with going and falling in love like a normal person, Leah? Imprinting is just another way of getting your choices taken away from you." – Jacob Black (p. 319, Breaking Dawn)

"The worst feeling in the world is loving someone, when they don't love you back. Your heart aches every time you see them, knowing no matter how deep you look into their eyes, trying to reach their heart, you never will."

Good Intentions

After writing a much needed letter to Charlie, (he defiled my couch!), I head outside and phase to patrol for a couple of hours and try to clear my head.

I think of everything from my Mom and Charlie to Jake and Leah to Leah and Sam. Trying to sort out my feelings, I run. No one else is out tonight; Embry's letting me have some space, Quil is still sleeping, (pretty sure the four bottles of cough medicine we slipped him were a bit much), and Jake and Leah are…busy.

No, I will not elaborate on that.

Shaking that disturbing thought from my head, I run, and run, and run. After six hours of non-stop running, (Leah may be the speediest of the family, but I have endurance), I stop outside Embry and Quil' s, (like I was going to go home and hear "Jake! Yes! JA-KE!" and "Leah! LEE-AH! I love you!"), and phase. Throwing my shorts on, I head into the dark house and plop myself down on the couch. Glancing at the clock on the VCR, I see that it's 3:17 AM. I rub my face and think about the thoughts I gathered on my run.

Mom is happy with Charlie. It's been four years since Dad died, and I know that she's lonely. Sure, Leah and I live there, but we're never there. We're always patrolling, hanging out at Embry and Quil's, visiting the Cullens', cliff-diving, hanging out at First Beach: never home. And Charlie, well, Charlie's been alone for twenty-one years. Renee left with Bella when Bella was one, leaving him heartbroken. He adjusted, but he wasn't the same. Then Bella came to live with him. But, even then, she wasn't really there since she was all "please-suck-my-blood-I-love-you" with Edward, so those two years don't count. Then the wedding and her "death" really left him alone. If it weren't for Jake, Charlie would never know what really happened to his daughter, or even know about his granddaughter.

So, basically, they both need someone, and if that someone is each other, I'm fine with that. Charlie was Dad's friend. He loved Dad as much as we did, almost. He'll take care of Mom, treat her right and always be there for her. She needs that. She needs to be taken care of, and to take care of someone. Leah and I are never home, even if we are, all we do is complain about her mothering, and Charlie needs someone to look after him, make him dinner, iron his uniform, basically play the wife. As long as they don't defile any other precious surface in our home, (especially my bed, my dresser, my desk, my door, dear god my walls), we'll be fine.

Which brings me to Leah. And Jake. Jake and Leah. Leah and Jake.

Together. A couple. As disturbing as thinking about them together, especially since the position I last saw them in (AH! My innocent, virginal eyes!) was less than appropriate, they fit. Ew, not like that, but as people, personalities, equals. Where Jake is laid back, Leah is very pushy, yet both are very persistent and will do whatever it takes to get what they want and they won't give up until they get it. Leah has her biting comments and sarcasm, and Jake has his classic, 'Sure, sure' and his own sarcasm. Where Jake is obsessive, Leah is passionate but grounded. She can be negative and harsh, and Jake has always been mellow and cheery. Both have been heartbroken, have lost people they loved, have pined for the one they could never have… They've been through the same thing.

But is that enough? Is sharing some qualities and going through the same experience enough to hold two people together? Is that love?

Before, in Sam's pack, they hated each other. Really hated each other. She would always taunt him about Bella, and he would always flaunt Sam and Emily's "disgustingly sweet and pure" imprint love (his words, not mine). They made each other's lives hell. It got so bad that Jake actually told Leah to jump off a cliff, and Leah told him that Bella would never be his. Jake left to go brood in Canada for months (hardest months of my life; my idol was gone!) and Leah was bitchier than ever, never letting anyone get any peace.

So how did they get to this point? How did they go from hate to love? I saw the friendship part in between, but is it just a strong sense of camaraderie? Do they care?

Yes.

Seeing Leah light up when Jake told her he loved her, I saw how much she cared for him. How she loved him as much as, if not more than, she loved Sam.

The real question is: does Jake really love Leah? We heard him say the words, twice (in the clearing and in Embry's memory), but does he mean it? He said that he loved Bella, then it was Nessie, and now Leah? How does this work? Especially since he's now imprinted on Nessie.

Bound to Nessie, but in love with Leah.

I let out a frustrated sigh. I've literally been going through this for hours and still haven't come up with any solution. All I want is for Leah to be happy, safe, and loved. I can love her, I can make her happy, and I can try to keep her safe, but it's not enough. It's not the same as when someone loves you for you, not because you're family.

Rolling over on my side, I take another look at the clock: 5:01AM. I groan, I'm going to be exhausted tomorrow. Clearing my head, I sleep on the couch until I'm woken up by crunching and talking.

Cracking open a tired eye, I see the cause of my awakening. It's Quil. He's sitting in the middle of the living room, eating a huge bowl of Corn Pops while watching Arthur. I groan. Why did Jake and Leah have to use the house for their "nightly activities"? I could be in my bed, snuggled deep in my warm sheets, sleeping until noon. But no, they just had to go and love and want to have sex with each other, leaving me homeless.

"Quil?" I groan.

He turns around, still shoveling spoonfuls of Corn Pops in his mouth, and smiles. "Yeah, Seth, buddy?"

Oh god, he's a morning person. Kill me now! Squeezing my eyes shut, I pray that this is all a dream, a sick and twisted dream.

"You okay there, Seth? I have to tell ya, I feel so alive and rejuvenated! After dinner, I don't remember falling asleep, but wow! What a night! I had the best sleep I've had in ages! I'm ready to do anything, right here, right now. Seriously." He leans his back on the front of the couch. "I feel great! And it's such a beautiful morning too! Look outside, Seth! See that? See that! The sun! It's going to be a good day man, a really good day. Oh! Maybe I could take Claire-Bear out and…"

By this point, I've stopped listening to him, making his voice blend into the buzz of the TV in the background. I hear someone clear their throat and see Embry in the kitchen doorway holding two mugs of coffee. I glance at a still babbling Quil, and make my decision get the hell out of here. I get up and make my way around Quil's huge and oblivious frame before stopping in front of Embry. "How can you live with him?"

Embry looks at me curiously before reaching up at his ear and pulling out an earplug. "Sorry, his chatter is just too much in the morning. What did you say?"

I look at the earplug then at Embry and shake my head. "Why wouldn't you share?"

He laughs and tells me to drink my coffee. After chugging my coffee, I tell Embry thanks and head home; I'm going to have to go there sometime.

I stand on the edge of out porch and stare at the door. I know what I have to do. I have to talk to Jake. I have to have a 'What are your intentions with my sister?' conversation. Then I realize I really don't want to know what his intentions are. Like I said before, she's my sister and there are just some things brothers aren't supposed to know. If, by chance, I do find out what his intentions are, I'm pretty sure that no matter how good the doctor is, no amount of therapy can help me.

But, if I don't have the conversation, no matter how painful it is to hear, I'll never know if this is real, if he cares. Taking a deep breath, I prepare myself for any possible couplings in the house. Cautiously, I poke my head inside the house and call, "Leah? Jake? Anyone home?"

"In the kitchen!" Leah calls.

Food. I need food, the kitchen sounds good. Oh my god, I close my eyes and remember that the kitchen is not safe. Some "activities" could be taking place in the kitchen. Jake and Leah have no shame or boundaries.

"Seth, you dweeb, open your eyes," Leah scolds.

"Is it, is it safe?" I ask cautiously. I don't need to be scarred for life before breakfast. Then I'll be hungry, but not want food, always relaying the sickening images in my head… It'd be a mess. A big, fat, starving mess.

She snorts, "Yes it's 'safe.'"

Cautiously, I remove my hands from my eyes, and open one eye. I look around and see Leah, fully clothed, at the stove making eggs and bacon, and Jake at the table, also fully clothed, staring at Leah with a smile on his face.

"Well thank god! Both of you are in a room, fully clothed, and are ten feet apart. I can breathe!" I heave a sigh of relief.

Jake chuckles and makes his way over to Leah. He hugs her from behind and wraps his arms around her waist, while resting his chin on her shoulder. "Just be thankful you weren't here an hour ago," he smirks and Leah grins.

They did, didn't they? Oh, ew! "My ears! They're bleeding!" I bring my hands to my ears, trying to block out the disgusting conversation.

They both laugh at me, and look at me with concern when I don't take my hand off my ears. I don't want to hear any of their conversation, just in case they let anything of their "relationship" slip. There are things a brother just does not need to know, like how "happy" his sister is with her boyfriend.

After we inhale Leah's eggs and bacon, Jake starts to do the dishes while Leah dries.

"Leah."

"Yeah, Seth?"

"Um, Rose wants to talk to you," I tell her quickly. Maybe if I say it quickly, she won't ask questions.

She turns around and traps me with a piercing look. "Why?"

Play it cool, play it cool. She doesn't know, you don't have to let her know! I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know. I went over there to play X-Box with Emmett and she wanted to talk to you, you know, about the whole 'I'm going to kill you, you piece of shit, Black!' thing that happened before 'I love you.'"

"Did she say that she wanted me to come over, or call?" she asks as she gets back to drying the dishes.

I make a non-commital noise and Leah sighs and turns to Jake. "I better go see what she wants. I'll be back later, okay?"

Jake nods and kisses her before she leaves. I toss her the Ferrari keys and tell her to thank Rose for me. After she leaves, I take over Leah's job of drying dishes while Jake washes.

I take a deep breath before I start to talk to Jake. "Listen man, we need to talk."

He nods. "I was thinking the same thing."

"Okay, I know you're a good guy, and that my sister loves you, but, I need to know that what you feel for her is real. I can't have you want her one day and then follow the imprint pull back to Nesie the next. This is my sister, I can't just have you toy with her and leave her," I tell him.

I look over and see a serious Jake, staring at me. He shakes his head before answering, "I don't want her Seth, I need her. She's everything to me. Everything. They say that imprinting is finding your "soul mate," but, I don't need a "soul mate." I need a mate, as in a partner, and equal to me in everything, and that's Leah. From her mood swings, down to her condescending and biting comments. Because, in the end, I don't need someone chosen for me, I need someone that will choose with me. That will choose to stick by my, to give me her love, to be my wife, my love, my world. Not because some 'force' tells us we have to choose one another, because we choose one another. We choose to love one another unconditionally and thoroughly because we need to be around the one we choose to love and who chooses to love us back with the same amount of passion."

He turns and faces me. "Listen, I know that you want me to ask for your blessing, but I'm not going to ask. We're together, we want to be together, and we'll be together for a damn long time. I'm not going to take the risk of having her in my life, by asking for your 'permission' to date her," he tells me.

I look at him and he stares at me. "I love her, more than anything, Seth. She's the one. The one that matters most, the one that I would do anything for," he smiles at the thought of Leah.

"So I'm not going to ask for permission, all I need is permission from her," he tells me.

I smile at him, (he must really love her), and say, "I know you're not asking for it, but you have my blessing."

He smiles at me before getting back to the dishes. I shake my head and smile. He has good intentions for my sister, after all.

Disclaimer: All of the characters, concepts, and anything affiliated with the Twilight saga belong to (their rightful owner) Stephanie Meyer. The rest of the work belongs to me and should not be copied in any way, including translations, without my explicit consent.

Major thanks to Flyaway Dove for Beta-ing this.