Here's chapter two of Hell. Enjoy!

Thanks to: Truth-Unspoken, Thirteen-Day Rule, mom calling, vLuna, and mira ff for their reviews!

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of its spin-offs. And I pray Square won't hate me for what I've done to their characters… (Still)

Chapter Two: Face the Wrath of the Barmaid

Cloud walked through the slums with his hands in his pockets, following Barret and the others back to the hideout. The large man ran forward, pointing his non-gunarm into the door and started to shake as if compensating for the recoil. Biggs cleared his throat and pulled a small, metal pipe out of his pocket and blew inside to simulate the sound of gunfire. The few people inside started to scream, ducked to the ground, and crawled out of the ramshackle building as quickly as they could.

Barret turned to Cloud, "Okay. It's all clear. Let's go."

Cloud nodded in all seriousness and proceeded inside. Seconds after he walked into the door, a weight slammed into him, forcing him to take a step back to catch his balance. He automatically reached over his shoulder for his sword and peeked an eye open as two arms snaked around his neck. Brown tresses filled his vision as he blinked a little. A feminine voice mumbled around the fabric of his turtleneck, "Cloud…! I missed you…!"

A blush found its way up his cheeks, "Um… Tifa… Hi…"

Another weight slammed into his leg and he glanced down around Tifa to find a small, brown-haired girl clinging to him. She looked up, brown eyes big, "Hi, Cloud!"

He stared for a moment, "Um… Your dad is… right over there…"

She smiled, "I know. You smell better than Papa, though. I don't think he knows what a bathtub is."

Cloud, comforted slightly that this child recognized his sense of personal hygiene, spoke, "Um, thanks, kid. Maybe… You could hug… Biggs, though?"

"Nope!"

"Why not?"

"He took that last cookie. I'm mad at him."

"What about Jessie?"

"She looks pretty angry right now. I don't want to go near her."

"Wedge?"

"He ate my doll's hair."

"Really?"

"And coughed it up!"

"That's funky…"

"I'm just scared he'll eat mine…"

"I would be, too."

The girl around his neck whimpered, "Clo-oud!"

He looked down, just remembering she was there, and felt the heat rise on his face again, "Oh, Tifa… I just remembered… I got you something…"

She pulled back slightly, "Really?"

"Uh, yeah…" He slipped a hand inside his pocket and withdrew the white flower he'd bought from the girl in town, "Here."

She stared at it with a blank expression, prompting his blush to deepen to a rather unattractive shade of scarlet. Finally, she broke into a grin and snatched the flower from him, tucking it over her left ear. She hugged him again, "Thank you, Cloud! I didn't expect you to be thinking of me out there!" And under her breath, added, "Or ever…"

He shrugged awkwardly, "It wasn't any trouble…"

Barret's loud voice boomed, "Alright, ya foo's! Get downstairs! We're startin' da meetin'!"

Cloud raised an eyebrow, "The 'meetin'? We're goin' to the 'meetin'?"

"Aw, shaddup, Spiky!"

Tifa smiled and walked behind the bar of the run-down building as Barret rode the pinball machine-turned-elevator down to the secret basement level. Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie all followed him down, jumping through the hole the platform had previously occupied. The brunette behind the counter waved to catch Cloud's attention, "Hey! You want anything?"

He sauntered over and dropped down on a stool, "Gimme something hard."

She reached under the desk and came out with a two-by-four, whacked him with it, and set it down, "Anything else?"

He rubbed his head, "Maybe a drink."

"Oh, sure!" She walked down to the other end of the bar and fixed a drink, setting it in front of him.

He raised it in a mini-toast, "Thanks," and took a sip.

She smiled, "You know, Cloud, I'm happy you're back safely."

He raised an eyebrow, "That wasn't even a hard job. What's gotten into you?"

"Well, let's see… I had oatmeal for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch, some M&M's by Marlene's demand, and some macaroni and cheese for dinner."

"Hmm…" he stroked his chin thoughtfully, "What kind of sandwich?"

"Turkey."

"There you go. That would do it."

"It was a little past its expiration date…"

"All the more reason."

"Hm, yeah… Well, Barret is probably waiting on you. You better go."

"Yeah, I guess." He held up the empty glass, "Thanks again, Teefie."

She blushed at the nickname, "Anytime."

He walked over to the pinball-platform and waited, trying to figure out how to make it go down. Tifa walked over, "Here, there's a code you have to enter." She reached for the bumper controls and pressed them while voicing them out loud, "Left, right, right, right, left, right, left." She jumped back from the platform as it started lowering, "There you go!"

"Thanks, Tifa!" The platform reached the bottom and he stepped off, looking around at the dumpy room.

Barret punched at the old punching bag for a little bit, looking up at the sound of Cloud's footsteps as he approached. He turned to face the blond, "Yo! I got a question!"

Cloud blinked, "Yeah?"

"Was there any of those… whatchamacalit's there today? Folgers?"

Biggs rolled his eyes, "You mean 'SOLDIER's'?"

"Yeah! Them!"

Cloud scratched his brow, "No to the SOLDIER's, yes to the Folgers."

"How d'you figure?"

"There was a can of coffee on the side… What else could that mean?"

"What if they just reused da can to hold ice melt or sumtin'?"

"Well, there was a Folgers can there, I don't know if it was actually full or not…"

Biggs sighed, "What about the SOLDIER's?"

Cloud looked at him, "What about 'em?"

"How do you know they weren't there?"

"Because all SOLDIER's are stuck-up bastards. They'll always announce their presence. Self included, back in the day."

"Oh."

"Oh, yeah…" Cloud turned back to Barret, "What about my moolah?"

The large man stared blankly, "…What moolah?"

"The moolah you owe me. I wanted to take Tifa out on a nice date…"

"Tifa? You mean my little girl!?"

"No… Your little girl is Marlene. Tifa is the hot bartender upstairs."

"Oh. Okay. Have fun, kiddies!"

"You think she'll say yes?"

"To what?"

"A date."

"Who?"

"Tifa."

"Naw, I meant with who?"

"Me."

Barret burst out laughing, "Why in the hell'd she do that?"

"I was hoping…" He hung his head and started back to the elevator. He rode it up and walked to the main door of the Seventh Heaven bar.

Tifa's voice called out behind him, "Wait, Cloud!"

He turned, hope returning to his heart once more, "Huh? What's up, Teef?"

"Please stay?"

"Huh?"

"You're leaving, aren't you? You're going to go take another job, right?"

"Actually, I was just gonna go see if I could find a burger joint…"

Her arms flew around him, "Please don't leave, Cloud!"

He blinked, "Tifa… I need to go…"

She pulled back slowly, "So that's how it's going to be, huh? Fine. Leave, Cloud. Leave, and don't you ever come back!"

"It's just a burger…"

"It's just a burger now, but next time it'll be a taco, and then a chicken sandwich, maybe even a pizza!" Tears started to leak out of the corners of her eyes, "When does it end, Cloud? When does it stop!?"

He scratched the back of his head, "When I'm dead?"

"See! You don't care about me at all!"

"Tifa…"

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"What?!"

"You heard me!"

"Tifa, I… didn't even know…"

"You're just going to walk right out, ignoring your girl- childhood friend?"

His shoulders sagged, "I'm sorry, Tifa… Do you want to get a burger with me?"

She wiped at her tears, "You forgot the promise, too."

"Promise?"

"So you did forget… Remember, Cloud. It was three years ago…"

"Three years? We haven't seen each other since Nibelheim…"

"Oh, wait, that was that other SOLDIER guy… Kunsel? Something. I mean, remember, Cloud? It was seven years ago… At the well?"

*Fade to flashback*

Cloud sat on the well, swinging his feet back and forth while waiting for her to show. Tifa's head poked around the side, "Sorry I'm late."

He looked over at her, "My note said to meet at six…" He checked his watch, "It's after ten."

"I said I was sorry… Yeesh. Anyway, you said you wanted to talk to me about something?"

He shivered, wondering why he was wearing shorts in the middle of November, and looked at the stars, "I can't feel my toes."

"You invited me out here for that?"

"No, I wanted to tell you that I'm leaving town for Midgar in the spring."

"All the cute boys are leaving town."

"Nobody's left in, like, eight years…"

"I know. The last guy that left was that hunky blacksmith, and now you're leaving…" She batted her eyelashes at him.

Completely missing her flirting due to brain freeze, he crossed his arms, "I'm gonna be a SOLDIER! The best there is! Just like Sephiroth!"

"If you're the best, how can you be just like someone? Wouldn't the best be someone who doesn't have anyone even close to their skill?"

He looked at her blankly, and then thought about it. "Huh. I guess so."

"Isn't it hard to join SOLDIER?"

"I probably won't be able to come back here for awhile." He tried to stand, but failed on frozen feet and fell down the twenty-foot drop to the ground below. He pushed himself up to a sitting position, rubbing his head "Ow…"

Completely oblivious to his fall, she felt tears coming at the thought of the boy next door moving away. She breathed on her hands, pretending to warm them in an effort to hide the waterworks.

A firefly flew past and he watched it, "…Huh?"

She sighed, "Will you be in the newspapers if you do well?"

He managed to pull himself to his feet and stumble back to the ladder, the motion warming him enough to climb. He hoped it was enough, anyway. Reaching the top, he kept going and sat down on the very top of the well, a good three or four feet above her. He nodded, "I'll try."

"Hey… Why don't we make a promise? Um… If you get really famous and I'm ever in a bind… You come save me, alright?"

He looked down at her, thinking that she'd been watching all those mushy movies again, "What?"

When she spoke next, her tone carried the hint that it should've been the most obvious thing in the world, "Whenever I'm in trouble, my hero will come and rescue me. I want to experience that at least once."

Still not getting it and possibly suffering from a concussion, he asked again, "What?"

She leaned back, looking up at him, "Come on! Promise me!"

He shrugged. It can't be that bad, could it? She'd probably forget in a week or so, anyway. "Alright. I promise."

*Fade out of Flashback*

Tifa looked up at him through tear-stained lashes, "Do you remember? Our promise?"

He scratched his head, "I remember some very cold feet and something to do with a hunky blacksmith…"

"That sounds about right. So do you remember?"

"Yeah… But I'm not famous or a hero… I can't keep the promise."

"But you're still incredibly hot and a SOLDIER…"

He shrugged, "True…"

Barret climbed up the piping leading to the basement and jumped out, landing near the two of them. He glared down at Cloud, "Hey! A promise is a promise! Here!" He dug in his pocket and tossed a wad of gil to the blond.

Cloud looked at, counted it, and shrugged before tucking it in his pocket, "Cool. Thanks, Barret. Pleasure doing business with you."

As he was turning to leave, Tifa called after him, "So you really are going to leave?! That's it?!"

He paused, "Uh…"

Barret slammed a fist on the table, "Shit! If it means that much to Tifa, I'll give ya double if ya do the next mission."

Cloud blinked, "Okay."

Tifa hugged the large man around the waist, "Thank you, Barret!"

He started grumbling and mumbled under his breath, "That money was for my PS3…"

She hissed back, "We need the help, right?" She turned to Cloud, throwing her arms around him, "Thanks, Cloud."

O.o

Cloud woke up the next morning, leaning against the wall in the basement of the bar. He stood, stretching his back out and hearing several pops come from his sore back. Making his way over to the elevator, he rode it up and found himself face-to-face-to-face with Barret and Tifa. Barret crossed his arms, "We're gonna go make anotha reactor go boom. You gonna help?"

Cloud shrugged, "Why not?"

Tifa smiled, throwing her arms around the blond's waist, "I'm going, too!"

"Really?" He leaned down to touch his nose to hers, "You want to see an ex-SOLDIER in action?"

She let go of him, pulling back with a blush on her face, "Of course! I have to go take care of everyone."

"Hey, ah," Barret mumbled, stroking his beard, "SOLDIER-boy. How do I, uh, use this?" He held up a small green orb with swirling with the magic power of the Lifestream.

Cloud took it and tossed it up and down for a second, "You mean materia?"

"Yeah. Dat."

The blond shrugged, "It's complicated. I'll explain on the fly."

Barret shrugged. "Okay. I'll leave you charge of all da materia."

Tifa turned to face Cloud, "Oh, the guy in the place has a kajigger for you. Don't forget!"

He nodded, "The owner of the weapon shop has a present for me. Got it."

She turned to the bar, calling, "Marlene! You're in charge of the bar while I'm gone!"

The small brunette's head poked up over the counter, "Okay, -hic!- Tifa…"

The older girl smiled, "She's such a good kid."

The three of them made their way outside and Barret and Tifa ran off to the Save Point to preserve their progress while Cloud went out to the weapon shop. He stopped at the counter to get directions and continued on to the second level. He walked inside to find two men there, one with a hardhat and a dog at his feet, the other with black hair tucked back behind his ears. The blond shrugged and took his chances with the dark-haired man, stopping to pick up the blue materia at his feet.

The other man grinned widely, "Thanks, Cloud! I was lookin' for that!"

Cloud blinked, "Um, sure?"

"Just because, I'll let you keep it! And as a bonus…" He took a half step back, resting a hand on his hip as a wooden crate fell from the ceiling. "You can have what's inside. Go on, man. It's all yours!"

The blond leaned over to release the latch and opened it, finding a potion inside. He shrugged and looked at the dark-haired guy, "Thanks. Can't ever have too many of these lying around."

"No prob, buddy!"

Cloud shook his head and walked out, pocketing his newfound items and walking back to join Tifa and Barret.

Ah, it never gets old when one expresses their true nature… Don't get me wrong, I love writing the drama and the romance, but every now and then I just need to write some humor. Hope you enjoy!

Review, please?

-Valk