Disclaimer:I own nothing, but my plot.
And Raven, and Amy, and Grandma Teresa, of course. :D
AN:Sorry, Sorry, I took so long. I had gone over to my dads house last week for the weekends, and it kind of just threw me off a bit. Anyway, this is that Fridays chapter. And I'll try to get last Tuesdays and Fridays chapters in as soon as possible, so I can get back on schedule. Like I said, I'm so sorry for the wait. But thank you for waiting... its means a whole lot to me :D
Anywho, no beta, just me... like always.
Paul Meraz
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"What do you mean she's missing?"
I hissed at Leah. I had left Sue's place a few hours ago, to go home and explain to my mother why Leah, Sam, Seth, and I became uncomfortably quiet when Grandma Teresa coughed. After the twins and their grandmother left, Leah had whispered, in a tone too quiet for a human to hear, that she would explain it to Sue, Charlie, and Bella. And Sam agreed to do the same with Emily.
After that we all just went home.
That was probably the most uncomfortable family dinner we've ever had.
"I don't know. I went to tell mom, Charlie, and her, but Seth said she… left." – Leah
"I just left like an hour ago. She can't be that far away." – Me
I watched through our mind link as Leah raced to Cullen Manor, the trees blurring past her. She jumped the creek in the backyard and made a loop around the house.
"She's not here." – Leah whined.
"Well, she's not at the diner either." – Seth's voice joined ours.
I growled, agitated. What was with this girl and running away?
"Where else would she go?" – Leah
We stayed quiet as we searched for Bella. Leah was running through Forks, while Seth checked out the beaches in La Push. I was taking the woods; since I had been patrolling when Leah's panicked thoughts had joined mine.
It was when Seth came across broken driftwood on First Beach, and I remembered that it had been Bella's and Jake's driftwood, that I realized I may just know where she was. There were only two places she went when she needed to do some serious thinking.
I dashed off to where I hoped she would be, letting Leah and Seth know that they should head back home. As I reached the tree line, I could see her SUV parked on the dirt road. I phased and threw on my shorts before making my way to the SUV.
And there she was.
She was standing on the cliff facing the ocean and the full moon.
She was standing on our cliff.
The cliff that I had foolishly tried to attack her on. The cliff that I had sat on for hours thinking of reasons why I should hate her. The cliff where she punched me in the face after I said something stupid. It was on this cliff that she showed me, that she was worthy.
It was just our cliff.
I took a deep breath before walking to the edge of the cliff, where Bella was standing. I didn't say anything as I finally reach her and neither did she. The only indication she gave me to let me know she knew I was here with her was a hitched breath and skipped heartbeat.
We stood there for a few minutes not saying anything. My hands in my pockets and my body facing the ocean, but my eyes were on her. She had her arm crossed over her chest and her eyes were closed, as a mahogany lock fanned across her face.
She looks peaceful.
"The moon looks big tonight." I observed quietly, making Bella open her eyes.
"Actually, it doesn't matter where you are in the world; it's never bigger than your thumb."
To prove her point, she lifted her small thumb in the air in front of her right eye as she squinted her left eye, before sighing and dropping her hand.
"Yeah?" I murmured, doing the same with my thumb.
"Yep. California, Phoenix, Jacksonville, Forks, La Push…. It's always the same." She murmured.
We were quiet again. Both still staring at moon.
"You know, before I moved here I spent two weeks in California with Charlie every summer since I was fourteen." Bella said in an uninterested tone.
"Yeah?"
Where are you going with this, Bella?
"Yeah. Grandma Swan retired there."
Fuck.
"You see, she had this horrible cough, every time I went to see her. I thought she was allergic to her cats." Bella snorted and shook her head.
It obvious Bella already knew what was going on with Grandma Teresa. It was stupid of me to think otherwise. This was Bella Swan; she was the most perceptive person I knew.
Plus, it didn't take a genius to figure it out either.
With all our reactions it was pretty obvious. Not to mention Bella was around when Harry Clearwater passed away. Sam, Jared, Embry, Jake, and I couldn't go near the man for a week, because of his bad heart, before he died. But it wasn't because he smelled as off as Teresa did, though he did smell a little bit off, it was because we just didn't know how to act around the poor man.
"Do the twins know?" I didn't answer her, "Of course, they know." She sighed.
"Do you know how long?" She asked quietly.
"We don't know how long they've known." I whispered, and she shot me a glare.
Yeah, I was fucking avoiding. This isn't something I was comfortable speaking about.
Death.
I was uncomfortable when my grandmother died, when Harry died, and I'm uncomfortable now.
I didn't do well with death or abandonment issues. I only stuck around Bella because I actually fucking cared about her.
When my grandmother died, I felt like such a prick. I hadn't actually cared that she did. Hell, I didn't even know the woman. She had kicked my mother out when she found out she was pregnant and never spoke to her again. I only felt bad that my mom was crying and only mildly upset that I didn't get a chance to know her. Either way, I resented her solely on the fact that she hurt my mother.
Call me an ass, whatever, I don't give a fuck.
And when Harry died, well, that was the first time I cried since my so-called father slammed the door in my face when I was eleven. And even then, I did it away from prying eyes. Harry had been like a father to me. I had grown up alongside Sam, Leah, and Seth.
Sam's father wasn't around and mine was totally out of the picture, so Harry took it upon himself to teach us how to ride a bike, throw a football, taught us baseball and how to fish, how to throw a real punch, and talked to us about the birds and the bees.
And when the time came, he taught us about our destinies as protectors.
I am the man I am today because Harry Clearwater took the time to help mold who I would become. And my mother is the most amazing mom, because Sue taught her how.
We owe the Clearwater's everything.
"That's not what I meant, Paul." Bella hissed.
"I don't know, Bells." I sighed, "It won't be long… She…" She reeks.
The stench, it was like expired milk. It wasn't pleasant. And I seriously wanted to slap myself for comparing a sweet old lady to expired milk.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
"Come on, babe, let's get you home." I put my arm around her, once I saw her shiver from the wind.
She nodded and I led her to the passenger side of her SUV. Once she was settled in, I jogged around the car and fixed the seat in the driver side before climbing in. Bella laughed at how big I was and handed me the keys. Once we were ready, I backed out of the cliff and onto the hidden dirt road that led to it. The ride home was quiet. Bella was lost in her thoughts, and I left her to her thinking, knowing that it was what she needed right now.
Once we got to her house, Leah met us outside and said I should just get some sleep and that she'll take over my shift for the night. I thanked her and followed Bella upstairs to her room. I walked into Bella's closet and opened the drawer that held some of my clothes, and took out some boxers. I stripped out of my shorts and slipped on my boxers before climbing into Bella's bed and waited while she changed.
She came out a few minutes later and climbed into bed, and snuggled as close as she could to me.
"Goodnight, babe." I whispered into her hair.
"Night." She murmured into my chest.
I pulled her closer as I started drifting off to sleep.
Bella Swan
I groaned as my alarm clock started screaming bloody murder. I was too lazy to reach over and shut it off, plus the giant body beside me prevented me from doing just that.
"Bella shut that fucking thing off. It's so fucking loud!" He growled.
"It's right next to you, Paul." I groaned rolling over and climbing over him, slamming my hand down on the snooze button.
I didn't even climb back to my spot on the bed instead choosing to just collapse on top of Paul. He groaned and coughed, before cursing me and gently pulling me to where my head rested in the crook of his neck.
We lay like that for a few minutes, neither one falling back to sleep, just content in staying in our little bubble. I didn't want to think about how Grandma Teresa was doing this morning, but I couldn't help it. It was there on the forefront of my mind. Along with the million other questions too.
How did the pack not know, if the twins did?
How did the twins keep it hidden for so long?
Why didn't they tell me?
I had to admit, I was a little hurt by that. They had always told me everything, so why couldn't they trust me with this?
"Hey Bells, Paul, wake up." Leah called through the closed bathroom door.
"Okay." We both called back.
"I'll take Seth to school, so you can talk to the boys, okay?" Leah called.
I sighed, "Thank you." Knowing she'd hear me.
Paul said a quick 'good luck' and 'goodbye', before running home. I got up and jumped in the shower, before getting dressed. I threw on some ripped jeans, and a green plaid long sleeve shirt, making sure to roll up the sleeves. I left my hair down to air dry, so I could have my natural curls, and grabbed my green converses that Leah had gotten me for Christmas. Once everything was ready to go, I grabbed my leather messenger bag, my black Ray-Bans, and my green hoodie, before jogging downstairs and grabbing my keys from the hook we keep near the door.
I made my way five houses down from my own, and to the Yuri house, where the boys were waiting on the front porch. Once I was parked, they jogged through the drizzle and into the car.
"Hey, where is everyone?" Brady asked, once he was settled
"Seth took a ride with Leah." I said, pulling out of their driveway.
I caught Collin fidgeting in the backseat through the rearview mirror. I raised an eyebrow as I caught his soft brown eyes, the eyes that belonged to his mother; whereas Brady had his Grandmother's and fathers unique blue eyes.
He sighed, and let his head for back on the seat.
"I guess you wanna talk about last night?" He groaned.
"What part? The part where every single one of you supernatural beings clamped up and made an awkward dinner even more unbearable? Or the part that you didn't tell that your grandmother was dying? Because I gotta say, I'm pretty hurt about that last one." I said, as I parked in front of First Beach.
I didn't mean to sound like such an insensitive bitch. And when I saw Brady's eyes well up with tears, I felt an overwhelming amount of guilt over come me. Their grandmother was dying, and I was being a selfish bitch by making this all about me.
What the hell is wrong with me?
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean – " I was cut off by Collin's voice.
"Don't. Don't apologize." He took a breath, "We should've told you, when we figured it out. She hasn't even told us, yet. How messed up is that? She hasn't even fucking told us, but we already know."
"Language." I warned, giving him a glare to which he smirked and shook his head.
I knew I had quite the potty mouth, but I didn't start cursing until I was almost 19.
And you can blame Paul and Leah, for that.
The twins were only 14; they could wait a little to grow up. They've done enough of it, so I'll be damned if they didn't keep some parts of their childhood; like getting in trouble for a saying bad word.
"We only realized what was going on about 9 months ago." Brady said quietly, staring out towards the waves.
"9 months… that's…" I whispered.
"Yeah, when Phil… and Renee.." Brady shifted uncomfortably, while clearing his throat and glancing at me quickly.
"Oh." I said turning towards the waves.
"We didn't want to burden you. You were just dealing with so much. And now this crap with Jake." Collin shook his head sadly.
"That doesn't matter. I would've been there for you guys." I murmured, staring at my hands.
"We know." Brady said, making me look up at him to see him smiling at me, "But you needed to take care of yourself. Beside's we didn't really know what was happening. We just…" He shrugged and sighed, "I don't know."
We were all quiet for a few minutes, lost in our own thoughts. They were right; I wouldn't have been able to take care of them. I had been so lost when Renee and Phil passed away; I needed help doing everything for a long time. I still felt an ache in my chest when I remembered their carefree spirits, and would catch myself rubbing my chest where my heart lay.
"Well, I'm here now." I murmured, laying my hand on the center consol.
Brady was the first to lay his over sized hand on top of mine, and then Collin rolled his hand underneath ours, so that my hand was completely covered by theirs. They both gave me their twin cheeky grins, before leaning over and giving me a kiss on my cheeks.
As Brady held my left hand on the center console, and Collin played with my fingers on my right hand, they went on to tell me everything.
How they were saddened about their grandmother, but had already made amends with the fact that they were going to lose her. They explained how they kept it from the pack by just thinking of something totally irrelevant.
They explained how they found out. That, at first, Teresa started to smell a little off; like a smell that just tickled their senses and made them sneeze, as if they were allergic to cats. And then she started disappearing and the smell kept getting more prominent. It wasn't until three months of the smells appearance and Teresa's occurring disappearance, that they finally decided to follow her, which led them to Forks Medical. From there the smell just kept getting worse.
"It's just a waiting game now." Brady said sadly.
A waiting game for them to be told. And for them to lose their grandmother.
"Why do you think she hasn't told you guys yet?"
From the way Paul made it seem, it was like she doesn't have much time left.
"She's scared." Collin shrugged, and I frowned.
Before I could say anything, I felt my pocket vibrate and quickly pulled out my blackberry, to see that I had a text from Amy.
Are the twins coming to school today? – AM
Yeah, sorry, I was talking to them. I'm bringing them in right now. – BS
I texted back quickly, before telling the boys we were going to be late if we didn't leave now. We all got situated back into our seats, before I was speeding through La Push towards the middle school. I got them there in record time, stopping on the road that rested between the high school and middle school.
"I love you guys."
I yelled out the open window, and chuckled when they yelled it back as they ran towards the school entrance. I made a u-turn in the high school parking lot, seeing Paul's Camaro, Quil's truck, and lastly Jake's rabbit, and sped down La Push towards Forks, before getting onto the highway and heading towards Port Angeles.
I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket as I jogged across campus to my money management class that I had with Kim. As I looked at the screen, I smiled seeing that both Collin and Brady had texted me, from the cell phones I had gotten them for Christmas.
Thanx for 2day, Mamma Bear. I 3 U. – CY
I 3 U, Mucho Grande. – BY
I laughed at Brady's last text, reminding me of when he started learning Spanish in school, and all he remembered from that day was Mucho Grande. To which him, and the rest of the boys, turned it into a perverted joke using their anatomy.
I sighed, thinking about how much I loved my babies.
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~*~
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"Are you sure about this?"
I sighed, and looked over to my best friend. We were sitting in my GMC, staring at the little red house in front us. It was late, Sam had promised that Jacob was patrolling and Charlie had called ahead to let Billy know I was on my way.
"Am sure? Yes. Do I want to do this? No." I looked at him.
"Then why are we doing this?" He asked, with his eyebrow raised.
"Because I want my shit back." I growled and slammed my fist on the steering wheel, finally feeling that courage people always talked about me having.
Paul smirked, looked like he was biting back a laugh, before turning and getting out of my car.
"Well, let's go then, kitten." He said, as he pulled the box of belongings out of the back seat.
I glared at him.
Kitten, I'd show him kitten. He's lucky I don't have claws.
I hated that nickname, it was the second name he ever called me, after 'leech-lover'.
Whatever…
I climbed out of my car, after turning it off, and grabbed the empty box from the backseat, before leading Paul to the Black's house. We didn't even have to knocked, before Billy opened the door with a sad smile.
"I was wondering how long it was going to take for you to come in." He teased, and rolled away to let us into the house.
I ducked my head, letting my curls form a curtain around my blushing face, as I mumbled a 'sorry'. Billy, along with Charlie, Old Quil and Sue, still had a way of making me feel like the mumbling blushing 17 year old I used to be.
"You've been avoiding me, Bella." He said quietly.
And I instantly felt my eyes water, at the absence of my second father, "I know."
"Can we talk?" He rolled forwards till he was in my line of sight.
I glanced at Paul, seeing him looking uncomfortable standing in his current enemy's lair, his eyes met mine and I nodded for him to wait outside. He nodded, before dropping the box of Jake's belongings on the floor unceremoniously. I rolled my eyes and shook my head, as Billy chuckled, both of us watching Paul's retreating figure.
He was such an ass sometimes.
"Please sit, Bella, this used to be your home once too, ya know?" Billy gestured to the couch.
"Used to." I murmured to myself, but apparently Billy heard me.
"Still is. Always will be." He smiled sadly.
I sat down on the couch, laying the empty box by my feet. And stared at my hands, as I waited for Billy to speak. After a few minutes of nothing but the sound of the waves coming from First Beach, I looked up and saw Billy staring at me expectedly.
I sighed, "I'm sorry I've been avoiding you. I just thought you'd…"
"Throw you aside like the poor fish Charlie catches, since you weren't my sons imprint?" He cut me off, with a gentle smile as he teased.
I sniffed and shrugged, "Yeah."
My voice was broken, and my eyes already started tearing up. I loved Billy, like I loved my own father.
"Come here."
Billy opened his arms wide, and I didn't hesitate to get up from my seat and cross over to him, and take a seat on his lap, as he held me.
"Now, now, honey. I love you like you were my own. I remember when you were just a little girl with skinned knees, pulling Jacob outside to make mud pies with you."
I chuckled through my tears. Billy pulled back, his calloused finger curling around my chin and lifting it till my eyes locked with his.
"That's a lifetime, Bella. A lifetime of memories that include you in them. You quietly playing Barbie in the corner with Rach and Becca. Taking you and Jake on finishing trips. A lifetime. Do you really think I'd throw away a lifetime of memories because of something uncontrollable happened between you and my son?"
The tears came heavier then, realizing that I had made a mistake in avoiding Billy. He hadn't done anything wrong, and I should've known better than to think that Billy wouldn't want me around now.
"I'm sorry, so sorry." I sobbed.
It went on like that for a few more minutes.
Me, crying over my stupidity, and Billy comforting me.
When I finally calmed down, Paul came in with a timid smile and we got to work getting my things out of Billy's house. I left all the kitchen stuff I bought for them, and grabbed all my things from the bathroom. I paused at the bedroom door leading into Jake's room, with my half filled box in my arms and Paul standing, patiently and quietly, behind me with Jake's things.
"She hasn't been staying here, so if you're worried about coming across her things… well, don't." Billy wheeled past the hallway.
I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding and clenched my jaw, willing my anger to come up instead of dwelling on the pain and betrayal, as I opened the door to what used to be my second bedroom.
I don't know what I had been expecting. Raven's underwear hanging off his lamp shades? Hell, maybe even Raven herself sleeping naked on the small bed with nothing but a sheet wrapped around her?
But I hadn't expected it to look like no one has been here. At All.
Everything was as I left it.
The bed was made, there were a few clothes scattered around the floor, pictures of us were scattered around the room; his bedside table, his desk, his dresser drawer.
I swallowed thickly, nodding to Paul when he asked if I was okay, before going through Jacob's drawers to get my clothes from it. Paul and I worked quietly. Paul left Jacobs things on the middle of the bed.
"Um, I think that's it." I ran a hand through my hair.
Paul lifted a finger, letting me know to hang on a second, as he took a deep breath.
I pursed my lips and looked away, to hide my humor at Paul sniffing around Jacob's room like a real dog.
Only to look back when Paul murmured, "There you go."
I turned to see him looking under the bed for a few seconds before coming up with a pair of black flip flops and waving them to me, before dropping it my box.
"Thanks, Fido." He grimaced, "Is that all?"
He nodded, and grabbed my box before we both walked into the living room. We said a quick good bye to Billy before leaving.
I decided to go over to Paul's and hang out there for the day.
I helped Amy with dinner and then helped Paul with a little bit of studying for a test he had in his literature class. Dinner was always an adventure with Paul and Amy. They were cracking jokes, and razing each other as they passed the food around. Amy told stories about the crazy things she did as a teenager, and Paul talked about the latest gossip spreading around in high school that Amy always indulged herself in and made sure her son was to date on it so he can entertain her with stories later, while I told some stories about some of my wacky professors. After dinner, we sat around and watched some TV before Paul had to go on patrol and I headed on home.
On the way home, I passed by First Beach and saw a figure near the newly broken driftwood. From the familiar silhouette, I knew exactly who it was and as I drove passed I wondered if I should stop and talk to him. Billy's words whispered across my mind, speaking of lifetime worth of memories.
Was I willing to throw a lifetime worth of memories away because of something we couldn't control?
My mind automatically screamed, 'NO!' But that soft whisper that sounded like my voice but wasn't, reminded me that he had betrayed me in the worst way possible. Not even Sam had done that to Leah.
Before I realized what I was doing, I was making an illegal U-turn and parking in the parking lot in front of First Beach.
Yes, Jacob had betrayed had betrayed.
But he had stood by me, when everyone else gave up on me. He held me together and he helped fix me, like he promised he would from the very beginning. He had been my Sun, my light, when my life was filled with nothing but darkness. All he's asked for, left countless voicemails on my phone, was to be able to explain himself. The least I could do now, after all that he's done for me, was give him that chance.
I hadn't even realized I turned off my car, and made my way towards him, until I was standing behind him and he breathed my name.
"Bella…"
"Jake…" I swallowed the overwhelming emotions that bubbled up in my throat, before sitting down on the driftwood, "You wanted to talk."
AN: This is the first time I've done a double point of view in a chapter. And I might just do it again.
But I felt like Paul's part was needed. Plus, it introduced their cliff. And their cliff will make many appearances... ;)
I thought Bella needed that talk with Billy, dont you think?
And I understand that some of you may not like that I came up with some 'memories' from Billy about Bella as a child... but if you remember correctly, in Twilight, when Bella met Jacob during the La Push Trip, she remembered Charlie and Billy throwing Rachel, Rebecca, and Bella together during playtime or whatever, but they had been too shy around each other.... So take that! :P
Anyway, like I said before, I'm sorry for the wait, but thank you for waiting...
I'll give you a hint... next chapter... there will be a wedding!
Tell me what you think!!! Theories?!?! Anyway, whatever, I want it!