Disclaimer: I own nothing, but my thoughts, and really bad writing. ;)

And Raven, and Tatianna, and Misty Anne Rogers - aka MARs. :D

AN: Like I said, I'm trying to get caught up with my schedule. So this is last Tuesday's missing chapter. Hope you enjoy!

Oh, oh, oh! Make sure, if your just now seeing an alert, that you read chapter eight titled, A Moon and A Lifetime. KTHXBAI! :P

Bella Swan

-

-

"It's this weekend, Bells."

I look up from the cutting board, through the small window in the kitchen that looked into the seating area in the diner.

But instead of seeing my sister and Emily standing on the other side with the rest of the pack scattered around as they ate their meals, a whole other scene slipped in front of my eyes.

Taking me back to a difficult conversation that occurred just two days ago.

-

~*~

-

"You wanted to talk."

Jacob stared at me for a few minutes. Nothing but hope, anguish, and apology shining through his eyes. It was too much for me to take, so I shifted my eyes to the crashing waves. But I could still feel him staring at me, boring holes onto the side of my head, as we sat in uncomfortable silence.

It never used to be uncomfortable between us.

I sighed, "You might want to start that talking, because we're going nowhere fast right now."

Bitchy? Yes. It was needed, and I had a right to be. Leah always said that I had learned to be bitch to cover up my pain from her. Well, she's right. Though, no one could do it like Leah can.

"I'm sorry."

I felt my eyes glanced at him quickly, before looking back to the ocean. But not before I saw the tears welling up in his eyes. It made me feel bad, the old me was screaming for me to comfort him.

But he's not my Jacob anymore.

He's Ravens.

"For what? Imprinting? Cheating on me? Lying to me? Betraying me? Getting a teenage girl pregnant? Because let me tell you, I'm not nearly as hurt about the imprinting, as I am about everything else."

He turned his face away from my glare.

"You made me look like a God damn fool, Jacob. In front of everybody? That's how I'm supposed to find out?" I was standing up now, looming over him and breathing heavily.

I never wished to have his super strength more, in this moment, to just beat the living day lights out of him myself.

"You know what hurts even more? That you just let her waltz right into my diner and hurl accusations at me. The place I worked my ass off for, not only for me but for you, for the pack, for this whole GOD DAMN RESERVATION!" I yelled while throwing my arms towards the little reserve behind us.

"You totally disregarded my feelings, Jacob. What? Did you think I wasn't strong enough to deal with you leaving me? With you having a baby with another woman, more like a petulant child from her fucking attitude?"

"No –" I cut him off.

"Don't fucking talk!" I yelled, as I panted, "You're wrong, if you do think so. Because I am strong enough, Jacob. Yeah, I had a two week grace period, where I fucking moped and cried. But underneath it all, I was happy you finally got your soul mate. You were my best friend above all else, so why shouldn't I be? Yeah, I was hurting and I was jealous. But I would've been okay after a while. But to find out you cheated on me? Got a girl pregnant?" I paused.

"That's worse than Sam imprinting on Leah's cousin. Worse than how Quil and Paul used to, use girls for their sexual gratifications. It's worse than Edward saying I wasn't good enough, that I wasn't worthy." I said quietly, tears streaming down my face.

"Don't you fucking compare me to him!" He yelled, as he stood up.

"Why not?! At least he was honest! At least he told me the truth!" I yelled.

We were both quiet then.

-

~*~

-

"This weekend?" I murmured, as I looked to the girls in front of me.

Paul was sitting behind them at the counter next to Sam; they both were chewing their burgers slowly as they watched me intently. Leah and Emily glanced at each other before nodding.

"You're obligated to go, honey." Emily said softly.

"Obligated?" I asked incredulously.

They couldn't be serious.

Leah sighed, "Yeah, so are Seth and I. Even Charlie has to."

"But why?" I gasped.

"You're an Elders future step-daughter. It'd look bad, if you didn't go." Sam spoke.

I felt my jaw literally hit the fucking floor. I had never, ever, been obligated to do anything just because Sue was an Elder. Ever.

"We're trying to keep all the details and drama on the down low. If you don't show, the public will know something's up." Sam said in a gentle tone, and Paul snorted, but thought wise to keep quiet.

And I felt myself slipping back to that conversation, again.

A much quieter and a lot less angrier part.

-

~*~

-

We were both still silent.

I was sitting on the driftwood again, my tears had stopped and my breathing was back to normal, and my arms were crossed over my chest. But instead of holding myself together, like I used to do, I was keeping myself from reaching over and attempting to slap Jacob across the face.

Jacob was sitting on the sand, while leaning back on the other half of our broken driftwood. His knees were to his chest and his arms were wrapped around them, as he rested his chin on his knees.

"You always wanted to be a father." I murmured, staring out towards the waves.

Staring at the waves was safe. It didn't hurt to look at that.

"With you."

It was so quiet I almost didn't even hear him. But I did. And it hurt.

"Don't say that." I whispered.

"I'm sorry." He whispered back.

"Don't say that either." Because I really didn't want to hear it.

He understood. Because he was Jacob Black, and he could read me just as well as Paul could.

We sat still, and quiet, for a few minutes, before Jacob spoke.

"Do you remember that night?" He asked, still looking at the beach.

"I try not to."

Embry's birthday had been a good night, fun and exciting, but it ended up being tainted with Jacob's infidelity.

"We were drinking."

"You were drinking, I only had one beer." I corrected him.

"Right," He sighed, "I should've just left with you. I shouldn't have stayed and kept drinking."

"It was your best friend's birthday, and he asked you to stay." I excused him.

"It doesn't matter. I kept drinking so I didn't have to think about hurting you and about imprinting on Raven. And I shouldn't have." He shook his head.

"I was stupid. I should've known better, that the alcohol was going to cloud my judgment, and with the natural pull of the imprint on top of that, that it would've been too much… I should've known it wouldn't end well." He sniffed.

I didn't really want to think about this.

I didn't want to dwell on the could've, would've, should've, of it all. I did that with the Cullen's and it almost took me to the brink of insanity.

Plus, I wasn't ready to forgive him, yet.

Cheating is cheating, it's inexcusable.

But I knew a wolf couldn't deny the pull to their imprint and with the added bonus of alcohol clouding what's right from wrong, would've made them not make the right decision.

My heart had already forgiven him. Because in my heart, underneath all the hurt and the anger, was still the same forgiving and selfless Bella that I used to be pre-Cullen. But my mind, it was the new me, it was guarded and I wasn't ready to give him my forgiveness, yet.

"They're making me marry her, now." He said in a disgusted tone.

And I almost fucking choked.

Now, that I hadn't been expecting.

And once again, we were quiet.

-

~*~

-

"I'm not fucking going."

Paul's voice brought me back from that little conversation that I didn't really want to go back to, but couldn't help. I felt my eyes narrow as I looked at him.

"I know for a fact, that if I'm obligated to go, then so are you."

Paul was third in command. He had relinquished his Beta role, when Jacob refused to become Alpha. When the Elders couldn't get a hold of Jacob and Sam, they called Paul.

Well, more like they called me, and I handed him the phone.

"I don't fucking care. None of us are wanting to go."

I looked through the window to see most of the pack nodding, with the exception of Quil, Embry, Jared, and Sam. I knew Sam would go either way, not only was he required but he was much more mature than the rest of the boys, and would be there for his pack brother. Embry and Quil were going back either way; Jacob was their best friend and had been since they were kids. And Jared, well, that's easy, for werewolf that fought vampires, he was the most unconfrontational person I knew, and he was always just going with the flow of things.

I felt that old part of me, that part that was protective of Jacob take over and I quickly put down the knife in my hand, lest I try to cause some harm to the boys.

"He's your brother. You're going. All of you." I spoke through tight lips.

"No." Paul immaturely crossed his arm, and looked away from me.

"Emily?"

"Uh, yeah?" She looked at me warily.

"Move." I said as I grabbed the closest object near me, which happened to be our giant wooden roller.

In a swift move, with surprising precision, I threw the roller through the window just as Emily ducked, and felt satisfaction surge through me as a loud clank hit Paul's chest.

"Ow! You fucking bitch!" He growled and rubbed his chest.

"Stop acting like a little four year old." I yelled, "Claire's got that shit down pact, she doesn't need your help."

"Fuck you!" He shouted, "Fuck! I think you broke my fucking collarbone. Fucking bitch."

I turned grabbing another roller; it was smaller, before walking out from the kitchen and into the diner. I stood in front of Paul, matching his glare, with the roller pointing in his face.

"You will go. I don't fucking care, if I have to make Sam command you to. You're going. Every single one of you, got that?"

I glanced around the room, looking into the wide eyes of the pack, as they slowly nodded their heads in agreement. I sighed, and put the roller down, before shooting Paul an apologetic glance as I watched rub at the large bruise coming across his chest.

"Look, you guys are forgetting something very important here." I looked around the diner, to see that every single person was confused.

"Family. You're forgetting he's family. You're pack brother. And we never, since day one, never turned our backs on our family. So… why are we doing it now?"

The boys were silent as they looked to one another for answer. It was probably because they didn't a really good one.

"The boys just felt like they had to choose a side." Sam spoke up for the group.

My shoulder slumped and I spoke quietly, "What's going to happen when a vampire comes through here and Jacob needs help?"

No one answered, so I did it for them.

"You're going to hesitate. And you may not mean to, but you will, because it's human nature. Because you'll think about that grudge. And in that split second that you hesitate, that could be it for Jake."

I watched as, simultaneously, each of the boy's shoulders slumped, as they realized that I was right.

"What's going on between me and Jake is between me and Jake. You really need to work on your relationship with him. He's your brother." I murmured before going back to the kitchen, letting everyone deal with their thoughts.

As I went back to my cooking station, I glanced up to see Sam send me a small smile before mouthing 'Thank You'. I smiled back and went about my business.

As the diner was eerily quietly, I felt my thoughts drifting to the end of the conversation I had with Jake.

-

~*~

-

"Can you believe that?"

Jacob shook his head, disgust still coloring his tone.

"They're trying to do right by the tribe." I spoke quietly.

"How about doing right by me?" He growled.

"You got those choices taken away when you acted irresponsibly." I hissed.

He was quiet again, his lips were in a tight line and he glared at the waves. He knew I was right. When we had been together, we were always responsible. Always safe.

"They're forcing me to marry her. How is that even right? I don't even love her. I loved you, I wanted you." He looked up at me, and I looked away.

I ignored that last comment along with the pain that throbbed in my heart that came along with it.

"Have you even tried? To love her? To get to know her?" I asked, incredulously.

"No." He said quietly.

"Where have you been staying at night, Jacob?" I looked back and forth at the ocean and his face.

This question had been on my mind since I walked through Jacob's bedroom door.

He sighed, "In Rach and Becca's room. I can't. That was the place we last…"

"You need to let me go." I spoke sternly, and he snapped his head up to look at me, "You need to get to know your imprint."

I shook my head, "She's not just your imprint anymore, Jake. She's going to be your wife soon. And she's the mother of your child."

He nodded, and had a thoughtful look on his face. I felt my phone vibrate and I looked to see that it was from Leah.

Mom wants to know when you'll be home. – LC

I'm on my way. – BS

I typed back and stood up, Jacob followed suit.

"I take it you're leaving now." I nodded, "Will you ever be able to forgive me?" His voice shook.

My heart was screaming yes, but my mind had control over my mouth.

"I just need time. You're not forgiven."

I shook my head and walked away.

-

~*~

-

A plate sliding on the window in front of me, brought me back from my thoughts this time, and I looked up to see Emily smile at me.

"If you want to head out, you can. Leah and I got it covered here."

I glanced behind her to see, the pack still lost in their thoughts, and had a sudden idea. I nodded and smiled to Emily, before taking off my apron and hanging it, and walking into the diner, with my car keys and purse in hand.

"You boys done with that self loathing party you're throwing?"

They all looked up at me, rolled their eyes, before straightened up.

"Who doesn't have clothes for Sunday?"

Sunday, that's how soon the wedding would be.

Embry, Collin, Brady, Seth and Quil raised their hands, and after a stare down so did Paul. I made sure I still remembered everyone's size, while Embry and Quil handed me over some money for clothes, before rounding up Collin and Brady and heading to the car. Half way out the diner I remembered something.

"Kim?"

She perked up from her sketch book, "Yeah?"

"Wanna come shopping?"

As soon as the words left my mouth, her face lit up and she bounced out of her seat, before throwing her sketch book in her canvas bag, kissing Jared on the cheek, and skipping over to the car.

"Paul." I called, with a smirk on my face, and watched him tense

"Yeah?" He asked timidly, as he slowly turned his head towards me.

"Get in the fucking car."

With that I left behind my diner filled with laughing wolves.

-

~*~

-

"Ugh, they should just have a section in stores for these kinds of things." Kim shoved a bunch of dresses on the rack, angrily.

"Yeah, because a shotgun wedding is all the rage these days." Paul grumbled behind us, before stepped back from Kim's glare, while Sue and I giggled at the two.

I had called Sue as we left the diner and asked for her 'assistance' as Kim took to calling it. So we dropped by my house and picked her up since she was off work from the clinic today. We all decided to just go to Port Angeles and get everything that will be needed for Sunday. It turned out that we needed to pick up not only Jacob's, Embry's and Quil's, outfit but Raven's bridal parties as well.

I almost got a case of whiplash when I turned to look at Sue after she had said that.

Luckily, all we had to do was just pick up Raven's things, because she had already ordered their dresses and the seamstress was just making some alterations.

"What color is she doing?" Kim asked, looking at dresses.

"White and Pink." Sue said quietly.

"Pink?!" Both Kim and I stared at Sue, incredulously.

She shrugged and went about her business. Kim and I shared a look, before going back to our search as well.

Pink… Ew.

The boys already had their things, because, of course, it's always easy to shop for boys. Sue insisted on getting Leah a new dress, so we got a cute yellow one that came above her knees. We browsed around again finally finding myself a cute spaghetti strapped purple dress that came down to my thighs, and Kim found a pink dress that had a nice bodice. Now we were just looking for shoes.

"No. Get that thing away from me." I pushed the heels away from me.

"C'mon, Bella," Kim moaned, "it'll look perfect with your dress. Plus, you can wear heels now."

"You're right, I can. But these… these are…"

"Fucking ridiculous?" Paul chimed from his seat beside me.

"Exactly. Thank you, Paul." I smirked.

"Fine," Kim stated simply, "I'll buy them and make Jared hold you down while I put them on you."

My jaw dropped, and Paul started snickering along with the other boys.

"Come on, babe. Just get them. You'll always be around a wolf, so we'll catch you if you start to fall."

And just like that, Paul took the shoes and my purse in one hand, and grabbed my hand in his free one, before dragging me to the register. We finished up, and headed off to get Raven's things before heading home.

An hour later, I found myself standing in front of Jacob's house with Sue standing patiently behind me. I knocked and felt the air whoosh out of me as Raven opened the door. Her eyes widened upon seeing me, and her hand drifted to her still flat stomach.

My stomach clench.

I cleared my throat.

"Here." I thrusted the dress bags and the three bags that held the boys clothes into her arms, "The small bags are for Embry, Quil, and Jake; I put the names on them. If there still needs to have alterations made to the dresses, call Kim. She's really great with a needle. Jake has her number. Bye."

I spoke without taking a breath and turned quickly, passing Sue as she fought to repress her smile by looking away, since her arms were filled with six boxes of shoes. I waited in my car for her.

"Well, that went well." Sue said as she entered my car, finally letting loose a giggle.

"I think I did pretty good." I nodded, as I patted my back.

"You did great, sugar." She smiled sweetly at me.

And we went home.

-

~*~

-

I sighed as I knocked on Rachel's and Rebecca's old room.

It was Sunday. The day of the wedding.

I had seriously rallied up the troops this morning, such as Sue, Kim, and Emily and brought them over here early to help Raven get ready. I felt bad that she didn't really have anyone here from what I was told.

Well, with the exception of her older sister and best friend, those were her bridesmaids.

"Wow," I looked up to see Embry holding the door open, as he kept looking at me from head to toe.

I felt the blush reach my cheeks, as I stood there fidgeting with the hem of my dress. Finally, after I cleared my throat, Embry eye's snapped to mine, before he smirked and leaned in closer to me.

"I don't think you're supposed to outshine the bride, Bells." He whispered.

I frowned, that's not what I was trying to do.

Embry winked, "Just kidding. Come in."

He moved out of the way to let me pass. With a last breath, I stuck my head high, winking when Embry smirked proudly and walked into Rachel and Rebecca's old room. Things were still the same, from the way they left it. The light pink walls, the two twin sized bed in the corners of the room, a night stand in between them, two drawers and one desk.

"Whoa." Sam spoke, as he dropped his phone in his lap.

"Hubba bubba." Quil spoke, before Embry reached over and slapped him upside the head.

"Bella…" Jake breathed.

I smiled and stepped more into the room.

"I'd didn't think you'd come." He whispered.

I smiled at him, "Do you really think I'd miss out on my best friends wedding?"

"Well, yeah?" He shrugged a small smile playing on his lips, as we all chuckled.

"I'll admit I wasn't planning on coming. Until I was obligated to." He grimaced, and I continued, "But I said some things to the pack, gave them something to think about, and me as well, I guess." I paused, "You were always my best friend first, like they're" I nodded to the boys standing around the room, "your brother's first."

"I know," I looked up at him confused, "I saw." He glanced around the room and I followed his line of sight at Embry and Quill.

"Ah." I nodded, "You need help with that?" I nodded to his tie.

Boy never could tie those things.

"Please?" He asked, and I nodded.

Once I had it right, and did Embry's and Quil's again. I checked my phone, to see it was time.

"Alright, let's get you married."

I drove the boys and Billy in my car towards the building they held the council meetings. Jacob and Raven were having their wedding in the garden off to the side of the building. Luckily, it was a sunny day in La Push, so the garden looked really pretty at this time.

As we reached the gate that led to the garden, Jacob stopped and faced me.

"Will you stand for me?"

My jaw hit the floor. I've been doing that a lot lately.

"But Embry and Quil…"

"I want you up there with me too." He cut me off, "You're my best friend. You have been since we were kids. Yes, I fucked up. And fate is a bitch. But I'm still your friend, I'm still Jake, I haven't changed. I want you there. And the least the Elders could do is let you stand with me."

We both looked around to see Embry and Quil smiling at us, while Sam and Billy shared a look before nodding at us with a smile.

"What do you say, Bells? Be my best man."

I couldn't help the bubble of laughter that erupted from me, as I nodded to him.

I was a masochist that was for damn sure.

This will hurt. A lot.

But that smile on Jacob's face was worth it.

"Um, you guys go ahead. I have to tell Sue." They nodded, before heading into the garden.

A few minutes later, Sue drove up with Kim and Emily, and the other girls. She introduced me to Tatiana Call, Raven's older sister, and Misty Anne Rogers, who preferred Mars instead, and was Raven's best friend. They both smiled kindly at me, so I returned the gesture, but I still saw the mistrust in their eyes.

And I really didn't give a flying fuck.

I told Sue what was going on and she nodded saying she'd let Raven know. I whispered a 'Thank You' before making way towards the gate. Just as I reached it, I heard Raven call out to me. I turned to see her looking at me shyly and I felt my brows furrow in suspicion.

"Yes?" I asked; my voice sharp.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"For?"

"I needed the help, and you didn't have to give it. So, thank you." She stared at her feet.

"Is that all?" I asked, as I stared at her.

"No." She finally looked up at me, "Sue told me."

"Look.." I started but was cut off.

"No, it's fine. Thank you. I've heard a lot of things about you, Bella Swan." She chuckled, and I raised an eyebrow at her. "No, good things. Jake never said those things about you…"

"I know." I cut her off.

"Right, of course you do. Look, I just… I'm sorry for everything I've done… I was just so jealous of your relationship with him, and the acceptance and support you get from the pack." Her eyes started welling up.

I stared at her hard, for a good minute before I spoke, "You're not forgiven. And honestly? I don't think we'll be the best of friends. But here's a little advise.." I paused, "Don't stop trying."

With that I stepped up to her and pulled her into a quick hug before letting go and whispering, "Congratulations."

I turned and walked away from her, to stand behind Jacob as the music started. He shot a smile at me, before turning towards the end of the isle, as Tatianna and Mars started walking down the isle, which were followed by Raven.

Throughout the small ceremony, I felt like I watched the entire thing detached. Like I was numb as I stood there.

And I was glad for it.

I smiled when I was supposed to, and handed Jake the wedding band when Embry nudged me. But as they kissed after being pronounced husband and wife, I felt a tear slide down my cheek.

As I started walking down the isle with my head held high, after Jacob and Raven, with Tatianna and Embry, and Mars and Quil behind me, I saw movement in the third row of seats, before I even registered it. Paul wrapped my arm around his, and walked my down the isle.

"Thanks." I whispered.

He patted my hand and kissed the top of my head, "You did good, baby, you did real good."

And I smiled.

The first real smile of the day.

AN: Bella... bitchy... I like it, do you?

I tried showing Bella's compassionate side throughout the chapter, but still tred to show how much she's changed. She's not a doormat, not anymore, living on La Push after the Cullen's destroyed her, toughened her up. Made her grow a back bone.

But still... She's Bella. In her heart Raven and Jacob are forgiven, but she's still going to protect herself and make them work for it. Especially Raven.

I liked their talk, Bella showed her compassionated side by giving her that piece of advice, because honestly? Bella was an outsider once too, she's knows how hard it is, so she knows that if Raven doesn't grow up and find herself a backbone, she wont be accepted in La Push.

Anyway, I'm blabbing.... tell me what you think.