Chapter 3

Dead or Alive?

( Saya believes that Haji is communicating with her from beyond the grave... is he? Or is he alive? Somewhere in this world? Just how did Saya get the rose with the blue ribbon from his hair? )

Saya let her tears fall freely down her face as she stared in the mirror for the first time since she'd awakened. Alone in the privacy of her room, she stared into her own fiery red eyes that glistened with tears. She ran her fingertips over her face and through her hair, she looked the same as she did so many years ago....when she lost control in Vietnam. Now that she could see it for herself, she was reminded yet again of her past.

"I know this is a reminder of my past in Vietnam, but this long hair also reminds me of Haji. After all, my hair was long when I first met him. Julia told me...he would always live on in my heart."

Saya grabbed the brush from on top of the dresser, quickly running it through her long hair. Once finished, she placed the brush back on the dresser and picked up a pair of scissors. She carefully began to cut her bangs. As her hair was one length, and so long, a large chunk fell and landed on her precious rose. After a few more moments of careful cutting and tedious trimming, she looked much like she did when Haji first came to live with her and Joel. She gathered the long hair that she had just cut off, and wove it into a braid, tying the ends together with a pink ribbon Emily had given her earlier that night during dinner. It wasn't much, a wreath of hair held together by a pink ribbon, but Haji had given her a piece of himself...somehow. She wasn't sure how just yet, but if he were alive, he'd have been here by now. Wouldn't he? She wanted to give him a part of herself as well, and this would have to do. Tomorrow, she'd talk to Kai about flying to New York to deliver this to where she last saw Haji. She would prefer going alone, but she knew Kai would be upset if she left without saying a word. He had welcomed her back into the family after twenty years, she had to be fair. Her tears began to fall freely once more, landing on the dresser, landing on the now withered rose...

Tomorrow, I'll talk to Kai...Tomorrow, I'll fly to New York...I'll deliver this gift in the hopes he can receive it...That is all I can really do. I'm living for the tomorrow in hopes of your return, Haji... I just wish you could hear me...

Haji's eyes shot open, though he could see little to nothing in the darkness around him. Not that he didn't have perfect night vision, but there was nothing to see in a heap of rubble underground... A few rats, a solitary spider, and a few other unsightly creatures. Though his suit was torn to shreds, he had a spare in his cello case, if he could ever get out of this damn mess. Amshell's crystallized hand was still lodged deep in his chest, pierced through his heart. He'd been like this for twenty years. His only peace was the ten year sleep he endured while his body recovered from the horrific experience. He had never slept before as Saya or Diva has... but his body felt this was a constant battle for life, having a crystallized chevaliers hand lodged in his heart. Always, his body was working on repairing the ongoing damage. Just barely keeping him alive. He'd gotten out of several dangerous predicaments before, but this, he couldn't do without help. And the only one who could help him was Saya. If something went terribly wrong and he didn't survive ripping out his own heart, which seemed to be the only option with just how Amshell had placed his grip, he wanted Saya there, so he could tell her one last time that he loved her. For the first ten years after the war between Saya and Diva was over, he slept...Just as they did. Saya's sleep was long, but temporary, Diva's was permanent. Haji had awakened, healed, and regenerated his arm and wing that had been torn off in battle...but he couldn't escape. He was still so weak...

"Saya, I feel as if I have failed you as a chevalier. I seem to be in a permanent purgatory. I do not know if I can escape this with my life intact. But, I will stay like this for as long as it takes. If I can do nothing else, I'll remain alive, just so I can see you in my dreams and memories."

Haji closed his eyes once more and let his head fall back. His mind wandered here and there for a short time, but his thoughts always drifted back to Saya. He wondered if she received the rose he requested be delivered to her...he thought back to the miracle that had happened when Lulu found him in the rubble.

"Haji..? Oh my..Haji! Are you alright?" Lulu squeeked, tears filling her big eyes as she rushed forward through the rubble and debris to Haji's side. She saw no movement from him, and he made no sound. She took in the scene through watery eyes. Amshell's hand pierced through Haji's chest, breaching the other side. It had been twenty years. She silently prayed that he was still alive, and reached forward to feel his hand. It was warm. A dead body was usually cold, and...well decomposed by now. But he seemed to be perfectly healed, aside from the stone hand in his chest. "Haji? Haji! Please, please say something...its me Lulu. Don't you remember me? Haji I thought you were dead, but you can't be, you just can't!" Lulu fell victim to hysterics, she cried and tried to think of a way to help him. If she left him like this...what kind of comrade would she be? Not a very good one, she thought. "Hang on Haji, I'll get you out of here, I promise!" Lulu looked around frantically, trying to figure out a way she could save him. She didn't want to hurt him any further, and she was afraid if she tried to pull him off of the hand, he might not survive...His skin had healed around the deceased chevalier's arm. She might make things worse if she went about it that way, but what else could she do without some help?

"Lulu." Haji said, his voice barely above a whisper. She gasped, eyes wide she turned to stare at him. He hadn't moved an inch, but his eyes were open, he looked down into hers.

"Haji! I want to help...but I don't know what to do..." Lulu wailed, frustrated with her inability to come up with a solution.

"Lulu, I fear if this hand is pulled out of my chest, I will not survive. I'm not sure if I will survive much longer as it is. Though, if I may ask. I do have something to ask of you." Haji said, his voice low.

"Anything, anything you need Haji...what is it?" A single tear trailed down his cheek, she stared at Haji, holding her breath, awaiting his request.

"Go back to Okinawa, as soon as you can, and find a pink rose as close to perfection as you can find..." He reached a hand to the back of his head, pulling the ribbon from his hair. "Then...tie this around the stem, and bring it Saya for me. She may be asleep again by now, but I felt her awaken. I heard her screaming in my dreams..." Lulu took the ribbon from his slender fingers, he let his hand fall back to his side.

"Of course Haji. And after I deliver the rose, I'll get help, we'll come back, we'll rescue you Haji. I promise."

Haji silently wondered if help would ever arrive. When Lulu had found him the pain was so intense he didn't think he had much time. Now he wasn't so certain what would happen to him...

"Oh damnit it all to hell. That didn't work either!" Lewis pounded his fist against the wall. Lulu sighed and slumped down onto her knees.

"I thought for sure we might be able to short out the wiring... what do we do now?"

"We keep trying, that is all we can do." Lewis heaved a sigh and sat down beside Lulu.

"Who do you think it was that kidnapped us? We never did get a look at his face."

"Whoever it was, it definitely wasn't human, and it wasn't on our side. I'm putting my money on Solomon...we never actually confirmed his death. He might be using us to try and get to Saya."

"Saya..." Lulu sighed. "I wonder if she got her rose..."

"I'm going to think of another plan, we'll get out of here Lulu, we just need to think." While Lewis went about trying to get his cell phone to work long enough to make a phone call for help, Lulu glanced about the room, pondering up another escape plan. They were in a very plain, empty room. White walls, white tiled floors, there weren't any windows, and the one door there was, was locked electronically. Needing a fingerprint and eyescan to unlock from the inside. They had tried already to manipulate the system, but without the proper tools it was a little more than difficult. Whoever had kidnapped them definitely wasn't human and had to be aware they were trying to escape. He or she also had to be fairly confident they wouldn't escape, no one had checked on them in days. While Julia had cured Lulu, she was still sensitive to sunlight. It would no longer kill her, but it did make her weak after a while. If there were a way, she would tunnel out of the place. But if the room was this secure from the inside, she had no idea what to expect underground. For all she knew, they might be on the second story, and digging out might do her absolutely no good. Eventually, her thoughts wandered back to Saya and her rose...Was she fully awake now? Would she come and rescue them...? Even if she was awake, how would she know where to find them?

Saya took a deep breath as she zipped up her luggage bag, it wasn't as if she had much. A few of her own outfits and some that Mao had given to her, the basic essentials, and the very handy credit card that Red Shield took care of in order for her to have a comfortable life. She glanced down at her hands, which shook slightly. She wasn't ready to face Kai and the others and tell them of her plans to travel to New York, nor was she ready to say goodbye to Haji. But she had to do it, and she no longer knew what to do with herself. Without Diva to fight, she wondered if she had a purpose, the twins were grown, Kai had a family of his own..Haji was the one she wanted to live for. The one who she could relate to the most. He had known her the longest, and now he was gone...Saya jumped when she heard her name.

"Saya? Can I come in?" Came Trista's voice from just outside the door.

"Sure. Come on in Trista." Saya replied. Trista came in and glanced from Saya to the luggage, and back to Saya.

"Saya...did we do something to make you feel uncomfortable? Please...don't leave. You mean so much to Kai and Mao, David and the others..and you're the closest blood relative Ravyn and I have. I was really looking forward to getting to know you." Trista said between shaking breaths. She was clearly trying not to cry as panic seemed to set in.

"Oh no, Trista please, I'm not leaving, not like that anyways...I just..I wanted to take a trip to New York..as a way to try and make my peace with Diva...and..say good bye to Haji. Its a little strange, I just..I feel like its something I have to do. Its nothing you or anyone else did, please believe me on that. I've been asleep so long..I'm still stuck in the past, I guess." It was the truth, and the first time Saya had said it out loud. While it seemed to momentarily ease Trista's worry, it only intensified her own. It seemed that saying it, made it all more real. Her sudden realizations scared her a bit.

"Oh..Does...Kai know yet?" Trista asked. Saya shook her head.

"I wasn't sure how to tell him, but I have to. I owe him that much and I don't want him to worry." Trista smiled and brushed the hair from her eyes.

"Kai's very good at that, you know. Worrying anyways, and making people feel guilty for not keeping him in the loop at all times..." She sighed and let her hair fall back over her eyes. "If you want...I'll go with you to tell him. If it helps any. I know he can be a little irrational from time to time."

"Oh, sure. Thank you Trista."

Ravyn, Mao, Kai and Ryan sat around the dinner table in the kitchen talking about their day. Trista came into the room and pulled out a chair, looking back into the hall and motioning for Saya to join her. Once they were seated, the discussion slowed a little.

"Whats up you two?" Ravyn asked. "Saya, you look a little down, are you okay?"

"Oh, uhm yes, I'm fine. I just wanted to discuss something with everyone." Kai and Mao exchanged a worried glance.

"Whats going on Saya?" Kai asked.

"Kai...please be considerate as I tell you this. I know I don't have to ask you to be kind, you always are, but I'm a little nervous bringing this up." Saya took a shaky breath as tears welled in her eyes, Trista held her hand under the table and gave it a supporting squeeze. "I want to go back to where it all ended...back to New York. I know it may seem a bit silly, but, I need to do this for myself so I can move on. I don't intend to stay there, I just need to make my peace...with Diva and Haji." Everyone fell silent and Saya stared at the table cloth waiting for someone to speak, anyone.

"New York huh? I'd love to go there someday, but if you want to go alone Saya, I understand." Ravyn said.

"I'd rather you not go alone, Saya." Came Kai's response.

"I don't mind if anyone comes with me...I just..I have to do this." Saya replied.

"Saya, why don't you take Kai, Trista and Ravyn with you? I mean if its not permanent...and you'll be coming back, I'm sure they could use the vacation. Plus, it would give you guys a chance to get to know each other a little better, well you already know Kai, but Trista and Ravyn, I mean." Mao said.

"What about me, Mom?" Ryan asked hopefully.

"You're staying here, buddy. You're not leaving me alone with Emily, and running the shop. Kai, go take care of the tickets. You're leaving tomorrow." Mao replied sternly. Kai got up from the table, gave Mao a kiss on the cheek, and set about buying the plane tickets. Saya thanked everyone, and Trista and Ravyn set about packing their bags. In the morning, they would be heading to New York...to where it all ended before it could begin.