Oh, thank you thank you thank you so much for all the lovely reviews! According to them (on the whole) you like viewpoint-switching, can just about cope with cliff-hangers and really, really love sun-cream references. And those wonderful people were: L.A.H.H., gernumblies, thedeejay, the darkness revealed, Jooles34, Ravenja70, Marian Locksley, milady dragon, Alibrandi, specialfrancine and Firestorm97.

Sorry this took so long to put up. I was distracted by my new music book – 1000 Irish fiddle tunes – which I am sure you appreciate takes priority.

Chapter 2

As she crossed the room the ancient floorboards gave way beneath her feet and suddenly the only thing she was stood on was thin air.

***

"Jack!"

"What?"

Owen's angry face appeared round the corner.

"A whoopee-cushion's bloody childish, did you know that?"

"It wasn't me!"

"Ianto! Why the hell did you put that bloody thing on my chair?"

"What?"

"Alright, I confess. It was me. April fools, Owen!"

"I'll get you later, Harkness! I swear!"

"Just you try Owen, just you try. You haven't got long left anyway."

***

Among the crash of falling wood and the pattering of dust there is small snap and a sharp cry of pain.

Gwen dragged herself out of the pile and tried to check her leg. She didn't need Owen to tell her that she'd just broken it. She tried to move it, experimentally. "Shit!"

Suddenly there was another noise in the darkness; a short harsh animal sound. Trembling, Gwen quickly turned on the torch (miraculously still in her hand) and shone it round the room. She let out a breath of relief when the pool of light fell on what turned out only to be a cat. She inched her way over to see what was wrong with it, but when she got there she had to look away.

It had been half-eaten, almost as though something's left it for later. But it was still alive. Just.

Gwen swallowed, trying not to panic. There was something else down here.

She shone the torch around; checked every corner. There was a door, and the entrance to a tunnel of some sort, but no gun. It could be under the rubble, she realised, or maybe she'd dropped it upstairs. Pulling herself back over, she scrabbled around desperately underneath the rubble, but she couldn't find it. But then she had a sudden surge of joy and relief as her fingers closed around her comms.

***

"Jack!"

"Yes, Gwen?" Jack grinned at the others as they all started to listen in. "how are you doing?"

"Jack, you've got to come quick, please! The floor fell in and I've broken my leg and and… I think there's something else down here, Jack. And I've lost my gun and…"

"So, you've discovered our little April fool, then?"

"What? No, Jack, please, listen…"

"I was listening. You fell through the floor, broke your leg, lost your gun but not your comms and now you're being hunted down by an unknown creature. Sorry, Gwen, but you're going to have to try harder than that."

"I'm serious! Look, this isn't some stupid joke, I really have…"

"God, Gwen, just get over the fact that you fell for it!" Owen butted in. "There's no way you're ever going to trick us back as childishly as that, so if you think we're coming to 'rescue' you you've got something else coming."

"Owen!"

Jack pressed a button and cut the connection. "I say we just leave her to stew for a while. See how long it takes her to work out we're not coming. Meanwhile, does anyone want to help me clean the weevils out?"

"Yeah right, Harkness. I'm not as gullible as Gwen."

***

Gwen swore, then quickly brought her voice back down. She couldn't be too loud down here or… Desperately she fiddled with her comms in the half-light of the torch to try and speak to Tosh instead.

"Tosh…"

"Gwen? Is this the prank you called the others about?"

"No, please…"

"Look, Gwen, I'm busy at the moment. Owen's crashed my computer, and well, basically everything is a bit of a mess right now. So just leave it with the others, ok?"

"Tosh…"

But she had hung up.

***

"Jack, please will you come and remove this bucket of water from its precarious perch above this door?"

Owen swore quietly to himself as he overheard Ianto's accusation. The bucket-of-water-trick really wasn't working well for him today.

***

There was no phone signal. She tried and tried. And when she finally reached the door and managed to pull herself up to get hold of the handle it was firmly locked. She tried kicking it with her good leg, all the while horribly aware of the amount of noise she was making, but it remained shut. And there was no way she could possibly get back through the hole in the ceiling.

There was nothing to do but sit in the corner nearest the door, her back to the wall, as far away from the cat and the tunnel entrance as possible, grasping her torch and the broken bit of wood that was the best weapon she could find, and try to call them again.

"Jack? Please, Jack, the door's locked. I can't get out…"

"Any signs of the monster yet? What colour is it?"

"There's a half-eaten cat on the floor, Jack!"

"Hey, that's quite good, Gwen. Remind me to call you next time we need a cover story." Click.

***

"Tosh, listen to me please…"

"I'm trying to repair the motherboard, Gwen. I don't suppose you'd mind leaving me alone and wasting somebody else's time?" Click.

***

"Ianto…"

"Sorry, I'm busy right now. Could do with a hand back here, as a matter of fact. Got some files for you to sort out." Click.

***

"Owen! Help me, please!"

"Gwen? Are you ok?" Owen actually sounded concerned.

"I'm trapped in something's larder, Owen! And I can't run, or hide anywhere, or defend myself properly!" Gwen took a deep breath and tried to keep her voice calm.

"Where are you?"

"In a cellar somewhere, I think. I fell through the floor of the room above."

"Are you badly hurt?"

"Just my right leg. I can't move it. Look – you've got to come and get out of here soon before whatever this thing is comes back!" Gwen checked the tunnel entrance yet again.

"Before 12 o clock, you mean?"

"What? No, just as soon as possible!"

"You're quite a good little actress, you know that Gwen? I suppose it's cos of all that practice you do lying to Rhys. Why don't you try ringing him and seeing if he falls for it? Cos I'm not going to." Click.

***

The Rift alert blared out across the Hub, bringing Jack, Owen and Ianto running upstairs.

"Tosh! What's happening?"

"What?" Tosh emerged from beneath her desk and pressed a few buttons. The alarm stopped. "Nothing happened. I just accidentally tripped the alarm whilst I was trying to… Well, you wouldn't understand what I was trying to do if you're too obtuse to know that pouring a bucket of water over a computer isn't good for it."

Owen screwed up his forehead. "Is this an April Fools?"

Tosh looked puzzled. "No. I'm not playing your stupid games, if you hadn't noticed. Now, if you don't mind…" She turned her attention back to her work.

Jack grinned. "We seem to be doing a really good job of annoying the girls today!"

***

The cat cried plaintively, calling out for help. Gwen would have gone over, but she didn't want to leave her corner and the little protection it offered. She had already toyed with the idea of searching the rubble for her gun again, but she knew deep down that if it was there she would have found it the first time.

The cat made the noise again, Gwen registering dully that they were both in the same boat. But they still had a chance, if they could hold on long enough. The others had to come eventually – they had to. And it wasn't long now until twelve o clock. Presuming they could last that long.

Opposite her, in the pure darkness of the tunnel entrance, a pair of orange eyes reflected the glow of the torch.

Um, yes, that was another cliff-hanger. My apologies to all those who don't like them. And I have to admit that I'm even more uncomfortable with this chapter, despite all your reassurance. I may stick to humour in the future. But for now I'm just going to ignore my misgivings, post this and go and wake the neighbours up with a few more reels.