Ta muchly to all loyal reviewers: milady dragon, gernumblies, Ravenja70, LA.H.H., Steph, Alibrandi, specialfrancine, NikkieSheepie, thedeejay and Marian Locksley. I'm sorry the last chapter was short but that's just how it came. I'll write you a whole story about Gwen getting tortured to make up if you really want (N.B. this would be when I get to the end of my current story list). These chapters are short too, I'm afraid, but they are extras.
I've always wanted to have a go at one of these since I read through them all on Ianto's Desktop (type it in on google – it's great site!)...
Captain's Log
Alien activity: Discovered and eliminated a small pack of seven alien 'shadow hyenas' (Ianto's name spring seems to be running dry) which was hiding out in a disused warehouse in Splott (why is it always Splott?). No idea how long they'd been there for, but it looks like they were feeding off the local wildlife, though Owen thinks he saw a human thighbone. We haven't told Gwen this yet.
Alien technology: Nothing this week.
Rift activity: Quiet, for once.
Security: April fool's day. We're never doing that again. Not so much the normal problems with unfunny jokes (although we did have to stop Tosh strangling Owen when he broke her computer) but more the fact that we ignore any distress calls we get. So we managed to trick Gwen into visiting the above mentioned warehouse then refused to believe her when she called to tell us she was trapped in a cellar with a broken leg, no weapons and a pack of hungry aliens. Luckily we got there just in time, mainly due to some weird psychic sense of Ianto's. If any future employee has a problem with this ban they can be directed right here.
Other security issues: Wind up torches would be a good idea
Staff: Gwen broke her leg falling through the floor and received several severe bites from one of the aliens. Owen tells me it that they aren't poisonous. Gwen is understandably still shaken up. Everyone else is blaming themselves for what happened, me included. I think everyone is the april fool with this one.
Other Staff issues: Owen's determined that there is a reason behind why we refused to listen to Gwen. I'm happy to let him look but I think he'll be crushed even more when he realises that there's nothing to find. This was our fault and our fault alone.
Capt. Jack Harkness.
One more chapter, if I get time to write it. But now I need sleep! And you have to tell me whether or not that passed as Jack.