One huge last round of thanks to: milady dragon, Alibrandi, specialfrancine, Marian Locksley, L.A.H.H., Renart, gernumblies, Ravenja70 and thedeejay.
This extra chapter is especially for ImmortalsDoItForever, my critical critic, who rightly pointed out that Jack and the team wouldn't have held out that long on going to check that Gwen was ok.
Here's a report by Owen I dug out of the archives to explain why they didn't.
Report on Cassandra effect
Author: Harper, O
Well, I can lift the blame a little bit here. Tests on the bodies we brought back from our 'warehouse clearout' and other observations found that out little shadow friends were a bit more complicated than we previously thought (also see linked report on auopsy). From what I can tell, it seems that their very presence affected Gwen somehow so that we didn't trust her. We only worked this out when Gwen went home to try and explain to Rhys, who promptly decided that she was trying to cover up the fact that Jack had attacked her (possibly says something about Rhys' opinion of you that he jumped to that conclusion, eh, Jack?). And the way that when she finally got round to speaking once we were back at the Hub to thank us we all assumed (naturally) that she was completely mad at us. Actually I think she was just relieved.
Tosh had done more tests on the remains of the creatures (full report to follow) and we've still got no idea why they had that effect. Jack's got a hunch that it might be pheromones. Good if it was – maybe we could find some way to reverse it and use it to make people trust us. God knows we could do with that.
Anyway, it does explain why we didn't twig a little earlier what was going on, though we're all still blaming ourselves for not realising and for sending her there in the first place.
What Jack's dubbed 'the Cassandra effect' (not sure what he's on about there – some thing to do with a Greek myth about a woman no-one ever believed) hasn't worn off yet, so in the end we did get a few laughs out of the whole episode – when Gwen's not there, anyway (sorry Gwen, but you have to admit that it is a bit funny). Even though we keep reminding ourselves that she's not lying it sort of slips your mind as soon as she says anything. It's not had much of an effect though because she's not allowed out on missions anyway thanks to those teeth-marks, though we've all got to do her paperwork, 'cause the effect seems to stretch to written stuff. Weird. So she kind of stopped talking to us after Ianto ordered her the wrong Chinese for the fifth time and Tosh got upset because she thought Gwen was being sarky about her hair, but then Jack pointed out that she could just say the opposite thing. I knocked her coffee over yesterday and got a huge list of angry compliments (which were recorded for later, by the way, Gwen – you're going to be so embarrassed when I listen to them properly later).
We're all coping, apart from when she forgets, but I think her relationship with Rhys is suffering a little, from the sounds of things ('cause we all know what "fine" means, Gwen, even normally) – I'm guessing he keeps thinking she's rejecting him when she agrees to a kiss. Oh, and apparently last time they got into an argument she ended up swearing blind that she was cheating on him.
But it seems to be wearing off now, which is a pity.
Owen
Messages
From: Cooper, Gwen
To: Owen
Subject: your report
"I'm guessing he keeps thinking she's rejecting him when she agrees to a kiss."
You only worked that out because you thought my 'no' meant 'yes', you bastard.
And it has worn off, yes.
***
From: Harper, Owen
To: Gwen
Subject: Re: your report
What? You'd just spend five minutes screaming yourself hoarse about how fit I was. And girls' 'no's always mean 'yes'.
I don't believe you.
***
From: Cooper, Gwen
To: Owen
Subject: Re: your report
Well, that's odd, because I distinctly remember calling you every insult I know several times over. And I tend not to flirt with men who've just used my new coat to wipe alien guts off their hands.
Ha ha. Just shut up, will you?
***
From: Harper, Owen
To: Gwen
Subject: Re: your report
But I asked if I could use it as a towel and you said yes. Or no, really. But I heard it as a yes. So it was your fault.
And I'm never going to shut up about this Gwen. Not ever.
***
From: Sato, Toshiko
To: Ianto
Subject: I'm so confused!
I think it's worn off but I'm not sure. As far as I can tell, Gwen still keeps saying the opposite of what she means automatically, and now I'm never sure whether to believe her or not. And sometimes she's joking and sometimes she actually is lying…. Oh, I'm so confused!
Did she mean what she said about Owen or is she joking?
***
From: Jones, Ianto
To: Toshiko
Subject: Re: I'm so confused!
When she said she would strangle him? I think she almost means it. Have you seen what he's doing?
***
From: Toshiko Sato
To: Ianto
Subject: Re: I'm so confused!
No. What?
***
From: Ianto Jones
To: Toshiko
Subject: Re: I'm so confused!
He's following her around and asking her horrible questions. When she forgets, and lies, he takes the answer she's given, and when she does tell the truth he claims she's lying. So I don't think you're the only one who's confused right now.
Text message
Hi Rhys!
Am staying at work all night & wont b home til tomorrow morning. Dont put dinner on & if u do cook please dont make spag bol (no meat in fridge).
Hate u
Gwen
More apologies for it not being a proper chapter – but there was only going to be one originally, so count yourselves really, really lucky.
And that's all for now, apart from one quick vote... Who wants me to post all my philosophy & ethics revision notes/random Torchwood fanfictions I pretend are relevant to my schoolwork?