Chapter 2: Daddy Hardison

A/N: Oi, this has turned into an actual story, but I only have one chapter left after this one.

Warning: I don't know; maybe language and innuendo somewhere along the way.

Challenge: #4917 by EvaMcGregor.

Thanks to my beta: zigpal.

Disclaimer: BtVS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. Leverage characters belong to John Rogers, Chris Downey, and TNT. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

Leverage Headquarters

1 week later…

While Buffy was at school one day the next week, Nate called Parker into his office to talk. Despite the fact he couldn't get anywhere near Buffy without her flinching, he was still concerned about the young girl. "How's Buffy settling in?" he inquired.

"She's fine," Parker answered with her eyes narrowed in suspicion. She didn't like that Nate and Sophie were standing together on the other side of the desk. It felt too much like an interrogation to her.

Sophie gave the blonde thief an understanding look – which, unfortunately, looked more condescending to Parker. "No troubles?" she asked softly.

Nate saw the continued defensive stance in Parker's posture. They obviously were going about this the wrong way. He nodded to Sophie to get her to leave them alone. Once the door closed, Nate came around the desk to sit next to Parker. "You know, it's okay to admit there's problems. Even biological parents have trouble raising kids. It's how they deal with it that determines if they are good parents or not." He was relieved to see the small nod from Buffy's new mom – even if she didn't say anything.

Parker's apartment

Couple weeks later…

"Hardison? Can you help us out with some stuff?" Buffy asked as soon as the team hacker crossed the threshold of the girls' apartment. Something in Buffy's mind wouldn't let her invite anyone in verbally; she didn't understand why, though. "Parker just needs the teensiest back-up with a few parenting things."

Hardison did a cursory look around the living room, not seeing any visible signs of problems. "Why not ask Nate? He's the only one of us that's actually ever had a kid – that I know of, anyway," he added with a thoughtful expression.

She sat next to him on the couch, folding her legs up under her. Hardison almost melted as she did that cute lip biting thing she did when she was nervous. "'Cause whether he means to or not, he'll make Parker feel like she's failing me – even if it's just in her head. She admires him so much that him being disappointed in her would crush her. And it's really not that bad. Please?" Buffy pleaded with doe-like eyes.

Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, he considered the risks of staying quiet. Finally, he offered a compromise, "I guess I can help out…as long as it isn't anything too serious."

"Nah. I just don't think she had a normal childhood, so there are things she doesn't understand." Buffy curled up into his side as she explained the small details Parker was missing.

Later that night…

Parker walked into the apartment to see Buffy and Hardison tapping away on matching computers. They even had matching bottles of orange soda next to them on the table. "What's going on, you guys?"

Hurrying over to her mom to give her a hug, Buffy blurted out, "I asked Hardison to help us."

The joy Parker felt having Buffy hug her so easily was lost with the words her 'daughter' spoke. She felt like Eliot had punched her in the stomach. "I'm screwing up with you, aren't I? Sophie and Nate were right; I should never have thought I could take care of a kid!"

Hardison's eyes widened at the dejected expression on the older blonde's face. "Wow! I see what you mean, Buffy. She really does assume the worst."

After mentally smacking herself for blurting it out like that, Buffy thought about the best way to help her mom understand. She grinned when she finally got an idea. "Parker? Would you expect Hardison to know how to break into Christie's to steal the Cornerstone Diamond?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

Parker scoffed, "Of course not! He'd have a hard time taking Bunny from you."

Smiling at her mom for getting it right away, Buffy nodded in agreement. "That's 'cause he knows hardly anything about being a thief like you. Well, you're missing a couple things in taking care of me 'cause you don't know as much about being a kid…not really."

Buffy pushed Parker onto the couch and crawled up in her lap so she could cuddle with her – hoping it would show with actions what she was saying with words. "Now the first thing you need to know is that if you were really screwing up with me, I wouldn't want to live with you. And I do, Parker; I love living with you – way more than my own parents! Got it?"

Seeing what Buffy was trying to do, Hardison gave Parker an encouraging smile as he interjected, "And hey, that's a pretty good commentary on how you're doing, Parker. Kids are great at telling you if you mess up. Buffy hasn't pulled any punches so far with Nate or Sophie, has she?" he pointed out.

Parker thought about that; it was true that Buffy was pretty tough on the team leaders. Part of her even thought Buffy drove them to take vacations at the same time. At least they said they were going on vacation. They wouldn't leave without telling the others, right? Shaking her head to stop that line of worry, Parker conceded, "Alright. So you're here to catch what I miss?"

"Yup. I'm moving in downstairs so we'll be closer to each other," Hardison replied, sliding the computer over to show Parker how he and Buffy spent their afternoon. "First things first, you've got to learn to cook some stuff. Ordering out so often isn't good for either of you."

"Any suggestions? Every time I try to cook, it ends up in disaster. I set the toaster on fire once trying to make frozen waffles," Parker admitted with a grimace.

Hardison grinned what was commonly referred to as a 'shit-eating grin' – although why anyone would want to eat shit, or smile about it? He generally smiled that when he was going to make someone suffer…in a nice way…usually. "Actually, I do have an idea, but it will require Buffy to use her secret weapon."

Parker looked confused. "What secret weapon?"

Even though she was only 10, Buffy knew what her strengths and weaknesses were. "My pout. Who do I get to use it on?"

"Eliot. He's a great chef; remember that wedding job we did?" Hardison asked Parker. "He takes food very seriously. If he can't teach you, I don't know who can."

Leverage headquarters

The next day…

With Nate and Sophie gone, the Leverage offices were quiet most of the time. The rest of the team still went in to keep tabs on the smaller cons, though. Eliot smiled when he saw the junior team member sitting in the break room. She was like a sane version of Parker. "There's my pint-sized darling. What are you up to these days, Buffy?"

He was surprised when she just looked up at him with tears welling up in her eyes and her lower lip trembling slightly.

Eliot grabbed her in a comforting hug, trying to soothe away the tears. "Aww, sweetheart, what's the matter? Did some boy hurt you? Just tell me his name, and he'll regret it for the rest of his short life!" he growled dangerously.

"No, it's nothing like that… I can't say, 'cause you'd tell Nate and Sophie, and they'd take me away from Parker. Oops." Buffy shook her head like she was mad she let that slip.

Starting to get worried, Eliot pleaded, "Please tell me, sweetie. I promise that as long as you aren't in danger, I won't say anything."

Buffy wiped away the tears with her sleeve and gave the team hitter a hopeful smile. "Pinky swear?"

"Pinky swear," he vowed, grateful she stopped crying. He sat down on a soft chair and let Buffy cuddle in his lap. "Now, what's up?"

Playing with the zipper on his coat, Buffy finally admitted, "Parker and I don't know how to cook, and the school wants me to bring some stuff in for a bake sale."

Eliot breathed a huge sigh of relief that it wasn't anything worse, then exclaimed in shock, "Parker can't cook? At all? What do you guys eat?"

Apparently his tone made Buffy worried and her eyes began to water again, making him caress her hair to calm her down. "Take-out or cereal; stuff we can warm up in the microwave. But the school wants homemade goodies, and I'm already considered weird 'cause I'm the new girl."

"How 'bout this? I'll come over, and we'll make the best treats those kids and their parents have ever tasted," Eliot suggested with a warm grin.

The smile she gave him would put searchlights to shame in terms of brightness. "You know how to cook? And you'll help us without telling?" she asked hopefully.

Eliot gave her a tight squeeze. "Anything for you, darling. I can even teach the two of you how to cook regular meals. It's healthier than ordering out all the time."

She bounced out of his lap, then gave his a loud smacking kiss on the cheek. "Oh thank you, Eliot! You're the best!"

Next room over

Watching on the internal cameras, Parker let out an appreciative whistle. "Wow! She's good. I bet she could con Sophie if she tried."

"That would be interesting to see," Hardison agreed. Then he realized what they were saying and added, "But very, very wrong! We can't turn Buffy into one of us."

Parker shrugged casually. "I know; it's just fun to watch."

Over the next couple of weeks, Eliot spent almost every evening at Parker's, teaching the girls basic cooking skills. After a few spectacular mistakes – including one where they managed to set the blender on fire somehow – Parker and Buffy settled down enough to get by. There was no risk of them appearing on Iron Chef anytime soon, but at least they weren't dependent on take-out anymore.

In celebration, they invited Eliot over for their first dinner party. Since Nate was still on vacation somewhere, and Sophie was gone too, it really wasn't that much different from the previous nights. Except this night, Parker and Buffy were taking care of everything on their own.

Choosing to go with a semi-Italian theme, the girls got started on a dish Buffy dubbed 'Shells de Sauce de Meat' aka 'Stuffed Shells'. It was a fairly simple dish to prepare: jumbo pasta shells, boiled then stuffed with browned ground beef and shredded mozzarella cheese, then laid on a light layer of spaghetti sauce, finally covered with more sauce. Baked until the cheese had time to melt – about 25 minutes.

It had the appearance of being fancy, but without the hassle. A basic salad and sparkling cider completed the meal. Now all they had left to do was to make the biscotti for dessert. That's where things got messy…literally.

Knowing how excited the girls were for this dinner, Hardison and Eliot dressed in nice casual clothes: slacks and a button-up shirt. Eliot stopped by Hardison's apartment so they could walk up together.

When no one answered Parker's door, they let themselves in cautiously. The loud music coming from the kitchen clued them in why nobody heard them knock. Breathing a sigh of relief and chuckling at the unusual music selection, the guys walked straight through the kitchen doors…and right into a flurry of flour tossed from either side.

Stifling a giggle at the sight, Buffy apologized, "Oops! Sorry, guys. You sorta walked into the middle of our war."

"What the hell is going on here? This place is a disaster area!" Eliot shouted, shaking his head to get the flour out of his hair.

Parker gave them a sheepish grin. "We were making the biscotti for tonight, and one thing led to another, and here we are. Guess this means we'll have to settle with brownies and ice cream for dessert."

"You're not mad, are you? We had this Italian theme in mind, and now it's screwed up. You're still gonna stay, right?" Buffy pleaded, suddenly worried that Eliot might be really angry.

Hardison leaned over to Eliot, whispering, "Hey man, take a look at Parker; she's smiling and having fun like a normal person – without the happy pills. This is good."

Sighing in defeat, Eliot whispered back, "You're right." He raised his voice, "On one condition…" He went over to the flour container and grabbed a handful to throw at the girls. Hardison grinned wildly and joined him.

The resulting flour fight turned the kitchen into a veritable winter wonderland. Afterward, the four of them decided to go ultra-casual for their meal and just sat at the breakfast bar in the kitchen instead of tracking the flour to the dining room. The food was a rousing success, but they chose to wait for dessert until after they cleaned up the kitchen.

As much fun as they had with the fight, they all agreed over an hour later never to do it again. If there was to be another food fight, it would be outside or someplace where somebody else got to clean up. Once they were finished, they all took quick showers and changed into sweats and t-shirts. The guys were fortunate that Parker kept spare clothes for them in a hall closet; however, neither one wanted to question why.

By the time they joined Buffy on the couch to watch a movie, she had fallen asleep. Rather than move her, Eliot covered her with a blanket, then took the remaining space on the couch. That meant Hardison and Parker had to sit together on the other – smaller – couch, unless they wanted to sit in the recliners. Eliot was amused to see that it didn't even seem to occur to them to take the chairs, but kept his mouth shut.

When the movie was over, Buffy was still asleep, so Eliot picked her up and took her to her bedroom. As he was tucking her in, she peeked her eyes open and asked, "Did they sit together or apart?"

Eliot chuckled at her expression. "You little sneak! You meant to do that. Guess I shouldn't be surprised though. Next time, warn me so I can leave."

"Nuh-uh. If you left, then Hardison probably would have too. So…?" she prompted.

He shook his head in resignation. This little girl was dangerous, and learning from the team members…? What she might do someday almost worried him. "Together. Now go to sleep, you little yenta."

Buffy grinned in triumph. "Once they're together, I can start looking for you," she offered.

Putting his hand over his chest, Eliot rocked back slightly. "I'm hurt. I thought you liked me."

She just rolled her eyes. "Hurt, yeah right. You're probably relieved. And I still think you're really, really cute; it's just you're too old for me. You need someone now, not in ten years. Us now would be mega-squicky."

"I appreciate your concern, but you really don't have to worry about my love life," Eliot replied, adding a little warning to his voice. He was quite happy with his life right now and didn't need a steady relationship to get in the way.

Studying his face, Buffy decided that this wasn't worth fighting over – at least for now. Instead, she tried to recruit him, "But you'll help me with Parker and Hardison, right?"

Eliot shrugged. "Sure. For whatever reason, those two together scare me less than if they dated other people."

A/N: Now we've had the necessary follow-up to start to get Parker and Hardison together. The last chapter will deal with Sterling.