Author Note: This story does NOT follow DH canon. It is the inbetweens of my two previous fics "Derailed" and "Adventures in Dress Shopping". This is pretty much canon through HBP and takes certain things from DH, however, I've put together different pairings and kept certain characters alive because I love them, and that's just how it is going to be. Reviews are more than welcome and I'd love constructive criticsim. I really hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I am not JKR. I do not own any of the characters. This story is merely my own interpretation of events based in the Universe that she created. Please don't sue.
*******************************
The following week Quidditch practices had picked back up and Ginny was trying her best to keep her head focused on the game. It used to be that no matter what was troubling her, she could forget it on a broom. In the air with only one job to do, it was easy to concentrate hard enough to let everything else slip away. It used to be that simply keeping her mind set on staying on her broom drove everything else from her mind. Apparently, that wasn't the case with this particular problem.
"OW! Sonova…" Ginny cursed, pitching forward and just managing to keep a hold on her broom as a bludger clipped her shoulder rather brutally.
"Weasley! Focus on staying in one piece, would you?" She could hear Gwenog scream from somewhere above her. "That snitch is not going to find itself! Let's go!"
"Sorry, Gwen." Ginny mumbled, giving her shoulder a few shrugs to make sure it was still all together correctly like. She'd likely have a nasty welt there by the time practice was over, but it was her own bleeding fault for letting herself get distracted by stupid shite. She gave her head a small shake and took a deep breath. Quidditch. The Golden Snitch. Staying alive. That was far more immediate at the moment. Everything else, including the list of pros and cons she was currently constructing in her mind, would simply have to wait.
The rest of the practice wasn't much better. She was hit three more times, one of which she was sure had shattered her ankle, but thankfully hadn't. It was going to be an ice bath for her when she got home. She'd only caught the snitch three out of five times of it being released. Not quite her best record ever.
"Weasley, you're mine still. Rest of you go shower." Gwenog's terse voice cut through the bit of chatter that had started up as everyone was landing. The older woman was not wearing her happy face and the team sort of gave a wary look over at Ginny.
Ginny groaned inwardly, wanting to be anywhere but talking to her captain about her shite practice. While everyone else filed into the locker rooms, Ginny hung back, looking anywhere but at the disappointed face of Gwenog Jones. She really hated hearing Gwen go on about things that Ginny knew better than to have to hear about. She knew that she was having a wretched day for Quidditch and she knew there was no excuse to bring anything but her best to the pitch. That had been made clear in her first week with the team.
"What's the problem, Weasley? Where was your head today? Clearly not on the pitch. Not with your team. Not where it bloody well belongs from the moment you step into the locker room to get ready for practice til you are collapsing on your bed. So are you going to tell me some sob story as an excuse for only catching the snitch twice?" Ginny opened her mouth to protest but Gwenog gave her a sharp look to cut her off before she started. "That last one was a graceful accident, not a capture. You got lucky. I can't bring Luck to a match and expect that to win it for me alone. It takes more than just luck."
"I'm sorry Gwen. I…I should've been here and not off where I was. There is no excuse. I was out of line today and hopefully those bruises you gave me with the bludgers every other minute will serve as a kind reminder of that." The last bit was vaguely sarcastic, but Gwen didn't seem to notice and if she did, she didn't care.
"I was thinking of starting you again for the next match in two weeks but if this is how you're going to behave on the pitch, I'm going to have to put in Ardsley. She's being having a decent run and she was all there today." Gwen folded her arms across her chest and raised an eyebrow.
"Start? Gwenog, I can do it. I swear it. It's just been a rough few days for me and I know that's wretched and not an excuse, but I can do better. I iwill/i do better." Ginny was practically pleading with her captain. She couldn't afford to go back to second string. She'd just quit her job at the Leakey a little while ago and without starting she'd be out of her flat in a month.
"I know you can do it. You've done brilliantly since I made you a starter, but I've never seen you as unfocused as tonight and frankly, that sort of attitude is not what wins matches." Gwen pointed out with a sigh.
"Gwenog, you've never seen me out of sorts at practice, so what does that tell you? That this isn't me. I'll do better. I will. I can and I will. You'll see." Ginny was defending her spot as vigilantly as she could without giving a sob story to her captain. Gwen didn't care about personal problems the way some captains did. She just wanted her players ready for practice on the pitch. She didn't need to know any more or less than absolutely necessary for one to play their best.
"You show me next practice that your head is firmly placed on your shoulders and not off in Merlin knows where thinking about Helga knows what and you'll keep your starter post. You so much as slip on your broom, Ardsley will be starting against the Magpies." Ginny knew there was no room for argument in Gwenog's voice so she didn't even try. She simply nodded curtly.
"Yes, boss." Ginny said, holding off on the salute she usually gave when the team was teasing Gwenog for being their general rather than their captain.
"Hit the showers, and make sure you ice that shoulder. And sort out whatever bloody issue you're dealing with." Gwenog all but sighed before grabbing her broom and shooting back up into the air. Ginny would've been mildly hurt by the abrupt ending of the conversation, but it was typical for the Harpies Captain to take off into the air like that when she was finished discussing a matter. And so instead of thinking twice on it, Ginny just made her way back to the locker room to get changed and showered before she could head home.
"Oi, Gin! We're going to the pub. C'mon and hurry up getting changed. Vanessa wants to get there for the band and all." A blonde named Therese called out to her as she opened her locker and grabbed her things to take a quick shower.
"I'm passing on the pub tonight. I'm ten shades of sore and there's bound to be one of the family lurking 'round the flat like there has been just about every night for the past week and a half now." Ginny said with a grimace.
"Piss it. C'mon you look like you could use a pint or six. Besides, who else is going to trick the old fool into giving us a few free rounds?"
"You lot are going to turn me into a raging alcoholic at this rate. I need to pass. And anyhow, Sandy can manage a few rounds from Phil. He's got an eye for short brunettes." Ginny teased as she wrapped a towel around herself and headed towards the stalls.
"He's got a better eye for mouthy redheads!" Sandy called out with a laugh.
"Haven't you heard, Sandy? Gin's not mouthy, she's just right." Sasha chimed in.
"Bloody right about that!" Ginny responded before giving a small shriek as cold water hit her from the faucet. "You lot go ahead. I'm not getting pissed with you all if you're going to just use me for my girlish charms."
From the rest of the team she could hear grumbles calling her a spoil sport and that if she changed her mind she could find them at the pub and she'd better come in some sort of smashing outfit that would just drive Phil into the poorhouse with all the liquor they were planning on scamming from him. Ginny could only respond with a laugh and she heard the various pops as they all apparated from the locker room.
It only took her a few minutes to get dressed and set and gather all her things together. Once she was sure she had everything she apparated back to the ally beside her building where she knew it was out of sight enough to not be seen by any Muggles. Despite the crime rate dropping significantly since the war, Ginny had kept up with the anit-apparation wards around her flat. She didn't need anyone in and out as they pleased and it made it that much more safe.
She took out her keys from the knapsack thrown over her shoulder and headed towards the front of the building. It was bitterly cold out and she'd left her coat inside, not needing it on the pitch and not expecting it to be this bloody cold out by the time she'd left. She wrapped her arms around herself and gave a shudder as she fumbled to get the key in the lock. She cursed under her breath when the key got jammed and she was dancing back and forth on her feet trying to keep warm. "Oh for the love of…" She wiggled the key out and tried again, wishing she didn't live in such a bloody muggle populated neighborhood so she could just use her stupid wand and be done with it.
She felt something warm cover her shoulders and back and she stiffened as she turned to see what it was.
"Hurry up and get the door open so we can properly be inside before you scream at me." Harry said rubbing his hands together.
"Mother of Merlin you nearly gave me a bloody heart attack." She breathed, holding a hand to her chest. It took a moment for his words to sink in. "You are not coming inside." Ginny said as she twisted the key, hearing the latch open finally. She gave the door a shove with her shoulder out of habit and wince in pain. "Ow." Well that was daft of her.
"Here, let me do it." Harry said, gently moving her aside before giving the door a good shove. "And yes I am because I know that you have loads that you want to scream at me for and well, it is bloody cold out here." He held the door open for her and gestured her inside. "How's your shoulder?" He asked as he followed her inside and locked the door behind himself.
"Harry! You are not coming up to my flat!" Ginny repeated, ignoring his question. She shed his cloak from her shoulders and held it out for him. "You are going to go home or to Ron's or wherever the hell it is you're staying and you're going to leave me alone!" She protested.
"No, Gin. We are going to have this out. You said that we weren't done when we were at the Burrow and that it wouldn't be done until you could properly scream at me, so here, we're at your flat and you can scream all you bloody well please. Because I need this conversation to be over so that you can give me a chance to be forgiven. Because I miss you, even when you're looking at me like you're about to hex my bits off…like right now for instance." He gave a hopeful smile and started towards the stairs.
"Harry," Ginny started with an exasperated sigh.
"Look, I meant what I said at your parents' house and I'm not just going to leave. I think I've done quite enough of that, thanks. I just want to make things right with you and if that means getting a teacup thrown at my head, or getting screamed at for a stint then I guess that's what it's going to take." He let out a sigh. He looked almost pitiable standing there with his ever-messy jet-black hair, gazing at her with his too green eyes. What in hell was she supposed to say to that?
"Hermione made you come here didn't she?" Ginny asked after a long moment of staring at him. She folded her arms across her chest and gave Harry a look which demanded the truth.
He shifted on his feet almost uncomfortably and then glanced down at his shoes. "Wouldn't lay off until I promised to make it right with you." Harry admitted after a beat. "But that's not entirely why I'm here. I mean, Hermione isn't the reason I'm here. I'm here because I was the worst kind of a sod and I ought to hex myself stupid for what I did to you. I just need to know that you don't hate me…or at least won't hate me forever. Cause I don't think I could take knowing that."
Ginny gave a short sarcastic laugh and then started up the stairs, shaking her head as she went. She mumbling something to herself but Harry couldn't make out what she was saying. Hesitating for only a brief moment he followed her up to her door, trying to get her to say something, anything to him as he went.
"You're not coming in here." Ginny finally said as once again she was fumbling with her key ring. "I am going to have a nice long chat with Hermione and Teddy and then I am going to bed. You are going to leave." Ginny said, already planning out the conversation she would be having with her best friend.
"Ginny, please." Harry pleaded stepping closer to her and placing a hand on hers to stop her from opening the door just yet. "Please just talk to me. I need to know how to make this right. And not just because of Hermione. And not just because your brothers told you to give me a ruddy chance. And not because you're also a God-parent to Tonks and Remus's baby girl. But because I need you there to give me a proper smack upside the head when I'm being a prat. Because without you around, I'll never know when I'm acting like a daft fool. Because I…" He broke off just before the last bit was able to get out, not sure if he was prepared for the consequences of that slip.
Ginny was quiet for a long moment and pulled her hand away from his, stepping back from the door. She lifted her hand to shield her eyes from him and took a deep breath. "What do you want me to say, Harry?" She asked, letting her hand drop. Her eyes were puffy and red and her voice gave a small crack. "You want me to forget about how I've felt for the past two years? You want me to just pretend like it all never happened and be so bloody well happy that you're back? I'm sorry that I can't do that. I'm sorry that I'm not as understanding as Remus, or as forgiving as Hermione or as bloody well ready to accept you back as the rest of my family, but that's just how I am. I'm not someone who can just trust you because you tell me to. I'm not someone who can just…Gods, Harry…I loved you. iLoved/i you so much that it physically hurt me to think about you for a long, long time." Her voice was raising and she knew she should keep it down before the neighbors started in on her disturbing the peace or whatever it was they were going to complain about this week, but she couldn't help it. "The first time you left I thought it couldn't get much worse than that. Much worse than you, the boy I loved, going off to risk his life to save us all. But then you came back and even though I knew-I iknew/i-you weren't about to give that up just yet, I couldn't see why we couldn't have both." She paused as she took another deep breath trying to keep herself from crying in front of him. "Well it turns out you were bloody right. Because then you left iagain/i. And everything shattered. And I'm done. I'm done trusting and opening myself up like that. I'm done hurt. I'm done." Buggering hell. She wiped quickly at her face and pushed him away from the door as she struggled for a moment to get it open. "I have to…" she hardly got the words out before the door was open and she'd slipped inside.
But Harry would be damned if he was going to let this end there. He stuck his foot in the doorjamb before she had the chance to lock him out. He needed her to see that he was different now. That it would all be different now. That the war was over and he wasn't at the center of it all anymore. It was a new life, for both of them. Or at least, it could be.
"Ginny. You're not getting rid of me that easily." He said, following her into the living room and grabbing her arm just to turn her around to face him. "I'm not leaving you again."
Ginny held his gaze for just a moment before she let her eyes drop to the floor, pulling her arm back from him slowly. She swallowed hard and chanced a glance back up at him. "How can I believe you, Harry?" She asked softly.
"Tell me what to do to prove it to you." Harry all but whispered in reply, stepping closer to her.
"You'll have to figure that one out on your own." Ginny said, turning away from him.
"Not going to make it easy for me, are you?" Harry very nearly smiled at this, as if life were playing some huge practical joke on him.
"If I made it easy, you wouldn't have earned it." She reminded him, still not facing him. "Now, please just leave. Please." She turned back to him, glassy brown eyes wide and begging.
"I'll be back." He assured her. "I will." He stepped closer and gave her arm a small squeeze. "Tomorrow."