A/N: April is my favorite character of the hour :P And this pairing is just begging to be written. I hope you enjoy!
"April Rhodes, I cannot believe this!" Lillian Adler's face contorts into an expression of anger and shock—a look that makes April suddenly feel foolish and immature.
But this is what she wants, and it's her right to defend it. "Ms. Adler, it's my senior year. I've already won us Nationals; I've surpassed the talent here at McKinley High— I'm ready to make it big!" April protests, lifting her chin high. Surely the Glee director could understand her longing for stardom?
Lillian sighs, catching April's gaze. April hates that look in her eyes—that look of disappointment; that look that tells April she could be doing so much better. "I can see you've already made up your mind—just please do me this favor: Really think about what it is you're doing. You have a lot to look forward to in life, April, with a talent like yours. I wouldn't want one hasty decision to ruin that for you."
This time, April makes sure to look at her feet as Lillian speaks; she knows one more look in those eyes will have her questioning the firm decision she's finally come to terms with. It's hard to lie to the woman she respects most, but April continues to stare at her feet as she clearly says the words. "I promise, Ms. Adler. I promise I'll really take the time to think about this."
Lillian smiles sadly at April, picking up her bag to leave the choir room. April still refuses to catch her gaze.
April slumps down into one of the chairs, sighing heavily. The confrontation went better than she had planned, but the awful feeling she has in gut was much, much worse than she had imagined.
"You're quitting Glee?" The voice pulls April away from her sullen state. She jerks her head up to see an eager looking boy standing before her. He's short and extremely skinny, so she guesses he's only a freshman. He has a mop of curly blonde hair that needs a good cutting—she can hardly see his bright brown eyes.
April stands up, slightly disappointed to see that this scrawny little freshman is taller than she is. She eyes the kid, wondering where she's seen him before. He's probably one of those insignificant members who sings in the background for the Glee club; she's never paid much attention to them anyway.
"What makes you think that?" she finally addresses him, eyeing him warily.
"I just heard you talking to Ms. Adler—I didn't mean to eavesdrop of anything, but I was on my way down here to pick up my sheet music. Please don't quit. I don't want—well, um, the Glee club still needs you," the kid bites down on his lip, and April realizes he's intimidated by her.
April's lips curve into a wicked smile; she likes having the upper hand. "Sorry to disappoint you kid, but I'm doing a lot more than quitting the Glee club. I'm leaving this pathetic high school behind in the dust and making it big on Broadway."
His eyes widen in admiration—a look that April lives for. He stumbles as he speaks, and April finds it slightly endearing. "That's so awesome—I mean, Broadway? That's like, everyone's biggest ambition—everyone in Glee I mean…" he trails off, his cheeks flushing slightly as he catches April's gaze. "I'll miss you here in Glee, though."
April's heart melts a little at the sincerity of his words. "Listen, kid, as soon as I land my first role, I'll send you tickets. How's that sound?"
His face lights up like a toddler's on Christmas. "So what's your name? I'm going to need to know who to send those tickets to." She winks, and the kid's cheeks darken a shade.
"Will Schuester," he tells her, smiling a little. April can only guess he's been waiting forever for this moment. "You won't forget, will you?" He bites down on his lower lip, his adorable brown eyes finding hers.
He's going to turn out a heartbreaker, she decides. And a stud, once he grows out of that awkward stage. And gets himself a haircut. She smiles at him, finding that she's pleased when his lips curve upward as well. "You have my word, Will."
But April's word does not count for much.
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"Look at those stars, Vinnie," April marvels, looking up at the shining heavens. She snuggles deeper into his arms, not minding the sheen of sweat covering his body.
They're only about an hour away from Lima; Vinnie had pulled the beat up van into the parking lot of the first bar they found. Five hours and far too many beers later, Vinnie and she stumbled out to the van, driving for only about a mile before Vinnie pulled over to the side of a secluded road and made passionate love to April in the back seat.
They're lying outside now on an old patchwork blanket; it's much too hot to go back inside the van. April's exhausted and completely inebriated, but here in Vinnie's arms, she feels hopeful.
"They're n'ver this bright a' home," Vinnie slurs, placing a sloppy kiss on April's cheek.
At the mention of "home," April's stomach twists, bringing her back to the reality of her decision. She snuggles deeper into Vinnie's arms, pushing her qualms away. "It nice," she says bravely. "To see so many stars. A nice change."
She almost believes her words.
"Pretty soon, you'll be shinin' jus' as bright as one of those stars," Vinnie assures her, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.
If she can't believe her own words, she can believe Vinnie's.
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"Shit," April mumbles, shaking the blasted stick in her hand as if the violent movement will somehow make that extra red line disappear.
It doesn't, and as she slides down the bathroom wall, squeezing her eyes shut tightly, the two red lines remain branded in her mind.
She places her hand gently to her stomach, her mind swimming as she tries to wrap her mind around what those two red lines really mean.
Because there is no way there can be a tiny little life inside of her.
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"Of course you can stay here—and it's not like we can fire you or anything. I think it's, like, against the law to fire a pregnant woman or something," Molly tries to joke, but it's in vain.
Another onslaught tears spill from April's swollen eyes, and Molly wraps the sobbing girl in her arms.
Vinnie and April hadn't made it past Cleveland. In fact, they felt pretty lucky when they landed jobs at Ralph's Bake Shop and Waffle House. But then Vinnie had an affair with Ralph, and the two had run off to only God knows where.
That was two months ago. Now, Ralph's Bake Shop and Waffle House is just The Waffle House, owned by Molly and her husband Chris. Ralph had inherited the restaurant from his father. Chris had known Ralph from high school, and in need of a stable job to support himself and his new bride, Chris had become the co-owner of the small establishment.
Molly had immediately taken the distressed April under her wing, assuring her that Vinnie was a no good bastard and April was bound to find someone better. And though April felt hurt and betrayed, it made her feel hopeful to have someone on her side. April had never wanted an older sister growing up, but Molly now has her feeling entirely different about the idea.
An older sister is exactly what she needs right now.
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"So who's the father? It's Vinnie, right?"
Molly and April are washing dishes when Molly decides to ask the fateful question. Molly always speaks her mind, so April's surprised this hasn't slipped out until now.
April's been counting months, trying to remember faces and dates.
She looks at Molly but doesn't answer.
She's been asking herself that same question.
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She doesn't want to be here. Not in this waiting room, with pictures of angelic infants and rows of parenting magazines covering the walls. But Molly's here beside her, and that makes it a little bit better.
"I'm kind of nervous, Molls—it doesn't hurt, does it? I mean, it's a little weird, thinking about seeing it up on that screen…" April trails off, glancing down at her slightly swollen belly. She's still have trouble coming to terms with the fact that there's a little life in there.
"It doesn't hurt," Molly laughs, rubbing April's thigh reassuringly. "It's kind of neat, actually, to be able to see that tiny little guy inside of you…" she trails off, a bittersweet look in her eyes.
April swallows hard but blurts out her thoughts before she can contain them. "How would you know? You and Chris don't have any kids."
Molly doesn't answer at first. She looks at her hands for a longtime, and April's scared she's crossed a line. "We were—going to be parents. But then Chris and I got in car crash just a couple weeks before the baby was due. The baby didn't make it, and I had so much damage done to my uterus in the crash that we weren't able to get pregnant again."
April thinks of the bitter irony. Here's Molly, longing for a child, and here's April, scared as shit to be having one. "I'm so sorry, Molls."
Molly manages a sad smile. "Thanks, April. So," her voice raises, trying desperately to change the tone of the conversation," have you thought of any names yet?"
April's slightly taken back by the comment.
No.
She's hasn't thought of any names. It hasn't even crossed her mind, because to April, the baby growing inside of her doesn't feel real. And it's hard to name something that doesn't exist.
"Well," April muses, scanning her mind for the perfect name. "If it's a girl, something like Stella Luella would be cute, don't you think? Some glitzy like that."
Molly laughs. "You're ridiculous, Ape—what about if it's a boy?"
April bites her lip, prepared to come up with an equally ridiculous name, when she blurts out another name instead. "Will."
Molly gives her a quizzical look, because apparently she wasn't expecting so…practical. "Will's a nice name—any particular reason you'd choose it?"
"I don't know…" April frowns. She pulled the name so easily from her memory, but she can't remember why it should be so meaningful.
But it gives her a melancholy feeling, thinking about the name and the lost memory she can't recall.
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Twins. The word leaves her paralyzed, and the rest of the doctor's words are a rushed blur.
Twins. She cannot be having twins. One baby is hard enough to care for, but two? Two at the same time?
Twins.
April's hands find her belly once again.
How can there be two babies in there when she can't even grasp the concept of one?
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Her belly's so big now that it's almost impossible for her to move. She's counting the days until her due date—the date the babies will arrive because she has a c-section scheduled. She's so tiny that the doctors didn't even want to risk vaginal birth.
It's been the longest nine months of her life—and she hasn't even been able to have any alcohol to save herself on those particularly shitty days. She's eternally in debt to Molly for keeping her sane.
It's late, and she can't sleep. She's too hot, and those damn babies won't stop moving around. She places her hands on her stomach, feeling those sharp little jabs.
She remembers the first time they kicked. She had been up late with Molly, watching Titanic, which was making her cry more than necessary due to those pregnancy hormones. Jack was about to fall beneath the murky depths of the ocean, leaving Rose alone forever, when April let out a small shriek.
At first, Molly had thought it was just another hormonal reaction to the film, but April had grabbed her hand and placed it against her swelling stomach. The two shared a smile as the little flutter vibrated off their hands.
That was the moment that it finally hit April that she was carrying two little lives inside of her.
Her two little sons.
And for the first time, she felt her heart swell with a love she didn't even know she was capable of rendering.
That night, she crept down the hallway and crawled into bed with Molly. Molly didn't protest; she knew April didn't like to sleep alone. And with Chris away on a weekend trip with a few of his buddies, Molly enjoyed the company.
April smiled at Molly as she rested her head on the pillow opposite her best friend. She reached out to take Molly's hand in her own, giving it a gentle squeeze as she took in a deep breath. "I want you to have them."
"What?"
April knew her comment caught Molly off guard.
"The babies—my two little boys. I want you and Chris to have them. Remember when we talked about adoption a couple weeks ago? It kind of scares me, the thought of giving them away to a stranger—but to you and Chris," she paused for a breath; Molly didn't say a word. "I mean, if you don't want to, that's fine…but I see the way you look at me sometimes, and I know you miss your baby who didn't make it…"
It was the first time either of them had brought up the conversation at the doctor's office, and April held her breath as she waited for Molly to answer.
"I'd like that," Molly finally whispered, her voice soft in the darkness. "I mean, we'll have to talk to Chris about it first, but April, it means so much to me that you'd do this for us. We've thought of adoption in the past but always as an intangible idea. But April, there are no children in the world I'd rather be a mother to than yours. I'd like that a lot."
She smiled at April through the veil of darkness, and April grabbed Molly's hand and placed it on her stomach. The babies were kicking furiously. "I think they'd like that, too."
Now, the babies kick almost constantly, and April's dying for a moment of peace. Only five more days, she reminds herself. Five more days.
A sharp jab shoots through her abdominal region, causing April to inhale a sharp intake of breath. She brushes off the pain—he body's been through so man changes and discomforts in the past few months that hardly anything catches her by surprise.
But as the pain continues to grow worse, April finds herself becoming a bit anxious. It wouldn't hurt to ask Molly if she thinks this is normal…
But as soon as she manages to rise to her feet, she feels a quick rush of fluid seep between her legs.
And then she screams.
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Molly's in the room only seconds later.
"Ape, what is it?"
She rushes to April's side, her eyes full of panic. April can't speak. She lets out a small whimper, her eyes falling to her legs. Molly follows her gaze to April's soaked pajama bottoms.
"It hurts, Molly," she whispers, her teeth clenched.
"It's going to be okay, April," Molly assures her, trying to keep her composure. "Let me go wake Chris, and we'll leave for the hospital immediately."
Chris drives while Molly sits in the back with April. The contractions are getting closer together, and April's inconsolable.
"What if we're too late? What if I have to vaginally deliver them?" her words come in a rushed panic.
"Shh, Ape, don't worry about that. If you're too late for a c-section, I'll stand right by your side and hold your hand the whole time. I promise." She brushes April's damp hair away from her sweaty forehead.
April doesn't know how Molly can stay so composed, but she's never been more grateful.
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She's not too late—thank God—and they rush her back into the operating room as soon as they arrive at the hospital.
Now, three hours later, she's lying in bed, jacked up on pain meds. She can't feel the lower half of her body, and she's scared for when the medicine wears off. She has a thick bandage around her stomach, covering the incision where they sliced her open.
In her arms, she holds a tiny baby. He's barely over four pounds; he's so, so small. And so beautiful, just like his tiny brother whom Molly is holding. They each have a mop of black hair and distinctive Italian features. Looks like they are Vinnie's after all.
April cannot fathom how she produced these two perfect little beings. Everything about them is flawless—their tiny little noses, their huge brown eyes, their delicate little fingers. April presses her lips to the baby's head, marveling at how soft his little tuft of hair is.
"Chris and I were talking," Molly tells her, sitting on the edge of the bed with the other baby in her arms, stroking his soft cheek gently, "and I know that you want us to name the babies, but April, we only think it's fair if you choose one of the names."
But April refuses, and no matter what Chris and Molly say, she won't comply. But in a sense, she does end up picking on of the names.
Chris chooses the name Tyler for the twin that Molly is holding, and Molly chooses Will for the one nestled in April's embrace.
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April's leaving.
Molly's begged and begged her to stay. She can continue to stay in the spare room down the hall with the boys and keep her job at The Waffle House.
But April can't. It's been a week. Only one week, and her heart's already breaking at the thought of leaving her boys. She loves having them in the room with her as she sleeps, listening to their soft breath escape their perfect little lips. She loves that tiny little weight in her arms when she holds them, still in shock that these are the two little bodies that lived inside her for nine months.
She loves them, and that's why she has to leave.
They're Molly and Chris's boys now, and April knows it would be wrong to stick around pretend to live a life that's not hers.
Her bag's packed, and Molly and Chris are standing before her, both holding a tiny baby in their arms. Molly's sobbing, and April's finding it hard to swallow the lump in her throat.
"I love you so much, Molls," April whispers, pulling her best friend into a tight embrace. "Thanks for everything."
"Oh, April, I love you, too," Molly replies. "I'll miss you so, so much."
Now April's crying, too. They promise to keep in contact, and Molly tells April to come back anytime she wants to see the boys. April agrees, but in her heart, she knows that this is goodbye. It wouldn't be fair to her boys—or to April—to be a wishy-washy part of their lives.
She thanks Chris for his hospitality, and when he reaches out to shake his hand, April surprises him by wrapping him in an embrace, and April's equally surprised when he hugs her back.
They're all silent for a moment as April's gaze falls on her boys. With another onslaught of tears, she kisses their tiny foreheads, trying to brand every detail of them into her mind—their soft skin, their perfect features, their comforting smell—so she never forgets.
After one last tearful hug from Molly, April picks up her bag and leaves this chapter of her life behind.
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She goes back to Lima.
For some reason, she feels drawn there. After she's been home for a week, she feels inclined to look up the McKinley High Glee Club. She's pleased when she discovers they have an invitational the next night, and she finds herself walking down the eerie hallways to the familiar auditorium.
She's pleased to see Lillian Adler is still coaching the club, though the woman looks like she's aged tremendously in the time April's been away, even though it's only been two years.
As the club performs, one boy catches April's eye. He's tall with a well built body and a mop of well-tamed curly hair. His voice is particularly impressive, and April finds it disappointing that there appears to be no female lead that can match his talent. They won't make it very far if he has to carry them on his own.
She leaves during the last number; she can't bear the thought of facing Lillian Adler and admitting that the director was right all along.
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April's been back in Lima for fifteen years now, and she's made it nowhere. She can't hold onto a job for longer than a few months at a time and every penny she earns goes to feeding her alcohol addiction.
She knows she messed up, but really, with all's she lost, she's finding it hard to care.
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She's drunk when she gets an email from a young teacher named Will Schuester, the new Glee director at McKinley High. The name sounds familiar, but she's too inebriated to take the effort to search her memory for the connection. And she doesn't make it a habit of reaching into her past.
She drunk when Will comes to the door of the house that not really April's. She's been squatting for years now, though she's not even good at holding onto a house that way. She doesn't even care enough to check the schedules to see when there's an open house.
He's surprised when she addresses him by his name, almost looking pleased when he thinks she remembers him.
She doesn't and she tells him so. Hell, she can't even remember breakfast.
"So did I sleep with you?" she asks, leading him into the spacious foyer of the home.
He's taken back by her blunt comment. "I was a freshman and you were a senior."
That's not what she was asking.
"So did I sleep with you?"
"No."
And for some reason, April feels glad she didn't take advantage of this man with the adorable smile.
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It feels great, performing after all these years. It's what she was born for, and she feels at home when she's up there taking center stage.
But it's not right. Her time has passed, and it's time for the kids to shine and work toward the bright future April will never have.
She doesn't need Will Schuester to tell her that.
And as she walks down the empty halls of McKinley High, an overwhelming feeling of sadness gnaws at the pit of her stomach, and she knows it's not because she's longing to be on the stage.
Though she's barely been able to hold herself together these past few years, for the first time in fifteen years, someone finally cares about her.
She finds she's longing for Will.
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She doesn't leave right away. After Will Schuester goes back to the choir room, April slips into the audience.
The Glee Club certainly doesn't need her to shine, and instead of feeling morose, she's feeling proud and hopeful for these kids.
Will slides in a seat next to a pretty red haired women. The guidance counselor, April remembers, though she has no idea what her name is.
As the kids belt out the lyrics to "Somebody to Love," April watches Will and the woman exchange a glance. Her eyelids flutter innocently, and Will's lips curve into a warm smile.
And April knows, even if Will weren't married, she wouldn't stand a chance.
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The next time April sees Will, she recognizes him the moment her gaze falls on him.
She really had meant to pick up the pieces to her broken life and start over again after talking to Will. He has a way of making her feel like she's actually capable of success.
But that's just the thing; as soon as he's gone, she can't pick up those pieces on her own.
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She's snuggled underneath the blankets of Will's bed, never mind exactly how she got there.
He reaches out to place her hand in his, and she gladly laces her fingers through his as she dares to snuggle closer to him.
"April," he whispers into the darkness, and they are so close that she can feel his breath against her face. "Do you remember, just before you dropped out of high school, when I tried to convince you not to leave?"
She's taken back by his comment, but she takes a moment to search her memory. "Nop—" she starts to answer, but suddenly the forgotten moment comes rushing back. "That was you?"
He chuckles slightly, and April looks at the handsome young man lying in bed beside her, comparing him to the scrawny little kid who had looked up to her. "No way…"
"I'm actually surprised you remember that," he admits, giving her hand a light squeeze.
"So am I," she confesses with a chuckle. "I always knew you'd turn out to be a heartbreaker."
This earns another laugh from Will. She snuggles deeper into his arms, biting down on her lip as she tries to make this perfect moment last.
She just never thought it'd be her heart Will was breaking.
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It's a vicious pattern, she's beginning to realize.
Every time she sees Will, he leaves her feeling so hopeful only to have her fall apart as soon as he's gone.
His words still ring in her ears as she stands outside of the shabby bar.
"You're always going to feel empty inside until you really find a home."
No, Will, she tells herself, feeling bitter. I'm always going to feel empty inside until I have you.
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She's surprised to find Will Schuester at the local liquor store a few months later, scanning the rows of bottles with tired eyes.
"Need some help, cowboy? This is my specialty after all."
He turns to smile at her sadly, and she's surprised when he invites her to come sit in his car with him after they make their purchases. He pops open a bottle, sipping as they sit in silence.
"So what happened, Will? You're usually the one who has it all together, giving me the advice."
"You know, April, I'm not really sure how I ended up here," he admits, passing the bottle to April. She gladly takes a swig.
"I thought there was something going on with you and that guidance counselor," April says, almost reproachfully.
Will face falls, and April immediately regrets brining it up. But he answers before she can made amends. "There was something there between us," he tells her, "and I'd be lying if I denied that. But even if you love someone, it's not always going to work out. We both wanted different things, and neither of us were really ready to make the necessary compromises."
She rubs Will's arm reassuringly, handing the bottle back to him.
"What do you want, Will Schuester?" she whispers into the silence of the car.
Her question catches him by surprise. "You know, April, I'm really not sure." And he surprises her when he adds, "What do you want, April?"
You.
But she only shrugs, gladly accepting the bottle as he hands it to her once more.
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She's surprised when Will calls her a week later, asking her if she's like to go see a movie or something with her.
She can't wipe the grin off her face as she agrees. And then she realizes she has no idea what to expect. In all the years of her life, the only sort of date April's been on is the kind where she ends up having drunken sex.
She finds she's looking forward to going on her first proper date.
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They take things slowly, even though April moves in with him after just one date. It's for convenience, mostly, because April has no official place to stay, but she can tell Will appreciates her company.
It's not easy dating Will Schuester, April soon discovers. He's a good man, and he won't let April get away with the frivolous lifestyle she's grown accustomed to.
Sometimes, it seems like their relationship resembles more of a father's with his insolent child. April has tantrums and breakdowns when she's suffering from withdrawal, and many times, she's expecting him to throw up his hands and kick her out.
But he's patient, and as he always reminds her, they're in this together. He goes to therapy with her, and even attends the Alcoholic Anonymous meetings with her. He's a constant in her life, and he's firm about not letting her slip back into her old ways.
Though the difficult parts of their relationship seems predominant most of the time, there's those sweet moments that hold it together.
The first time Will makes love to her, she finally understands why it's called "making love." She's never given herself so fully and so selflessly to anyone before, and she's slowly beginning to realize what love is truly all about.
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Just when her life has begun to fall into a definitive pattern and she's lost count of how many days she's been sober, Will gives her the biggest surprise.
They're sitting on the couch, contently snuggling, when Will swiftly pulls something out of his pocket. April's eye catches a glint of light, and her mouth drops open in shock. Her mind is swimming and she can't even hear Will's words, though she knows exactly what he's saying.
She bursts into tears, and at first, Will freaks out, telling her that they can wait if it's too soon. But it's not that. It's not that at all. She leans into to kiss him before he hyperventilates.
Somehow between the kisses and tears, April manages to utter yes.
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They get married in April, a silly little dream April's always had since she was little. The day is far from perfect. The heavy rainclouds look like they might burst any moment, but April and Will could care less. A little rain can't ruin their day.
They invite all the Glee kids, and it is surprising when all of them are able to show up. Quinn and Puck come together, with three-year-old Chloe holding each of their hands. Finn and Rachel arrive together, though they aren't a couple. Rachel's dating a boy back in New York—she's gone on to live the dream April was never able to fulfill. Finn's never been happier. He has partial scholarships in both football and music, and for the first time in his life, he feels like he's going places.
Emma is invited to the wedding as well. She and Will still keep in touch from time to time; though there's a certain sadness present each time they talk, they harbor no hard feelings for each other.
Emma arrives with man by her side, and at the reception, she introduces him as her boyfriend, Adam. Though he doesn't touch her, April can tell how much he adores her. She's glad that Will seems at ease as they converse with the couple, and for the first time, he doesn't look at Emma with a feeling of regret.
Will picks up a conversation with Adam, and April turns to smile at Emma.
"Congratulations," Emma tells her dutifully. "You really are one lucky girl to have a man as wonderful as Will."
"Well, you don't look like you're doing to shabby yourself," April laughs, glancing over at Emma's boyfriend. "You two thinking about tying the knot anytime soon?"
"Oh, no!" Emma eye's wide brown eyes open in shock. "We've only been dating for six months, and right now, we're pretty content."
"Well I'm happy for you then—that you're content," April tells her, feeling slightly awkward. April finds it almost ironic how Will could love two women who are as different as night and day.
Will joins her a moment later as the music begins. "It looks like the kids have a surprise for us…"
The kids have all gathered at the front of the room with microphones in hand. Will leads April to the dance floor as they begin to belt out the lyric to "Fire," by Bruce Springsteen.
April's thirty-six years old, and though not one thing in he life has gone as planned, she couldn't have wished for anything different.
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They're sitting in the waiting room, but this time, the angelic baby faces don't intimidate her, and she even dares to pick up one of the parenting magazines as they wait for the doctor to call her back.
Though she's nervous, Will's sitting here right beside her, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.
When the doctor calls them back, Will has to help April to her feet. The doctor spreads the goopy gel across her stomach, a feeling that sends April back years ago. She reaches for Will's hand.
As the image is projected onto the screen, both April and Will hold their breath as they wait for the verdict.
He smiles at the anxious couple. "You're having a healthy baby girl."
They breathe, turning to grin at each other. Will's ecstatic there's actually a little baby in there. April's just glad he didn't announce twins.
Because, even with Will by her side, there's only so much she can handle.
They leave the office, hand in hand, and as Will brushes his lips softly against her forehead, she realizes there no where else she'd rather be.