Chapter 8: A Doctor Walks into a Bar . . .

"Where are we going again?"

Jim rolls his eyes, "We're going to a bar."

"No shit, Captain Obvious, I meant where exactly?"

"Bones, does the destination really matter?"

It did if said destination costs him his sanity, McCoy thinks darkly. But in the end the destination doesn't really matter, Jim and himself are going to spend their last free night before school starts back up drinking and saluting to their two weeks off where they did absolutely nothing. Also, Bones was leaving tomorrow for his Practical Application. It was just a required amount of time that medical personnel had to fulfill out on the field. A couple of months tops. In a location that was kept secret until you were strapped in to your shuttle seat. Leonard hated that, why couldn't they just tell us where we were going? What's with all the secrecy? One of his classmates said the ambiguity of it made it very exciting and real life. Like hell it did. Personally, he would rather be somewhat in control of his situation.

Jim didn't really like the news either. McCoy had refrained from telling the kid about his impending departure until after the last semester had ended. Jim had been quiet for awhile, asked a couple of questions, and then declared that they would celebrate the doctor's glorious hands-on training the night before he left.

So here they were, at some unknown bar, checking out the female population's asses, and drinking until their livers gave up the ghost.

McCoy takes another swig of his mint julep, he shudders at the thought of being on a shuttle tomorrow, wait, he checks his watch, being on a shuttle later this morning actually. He groans, Jim might think he was lucky for getting to study somewhere that was not San Francisco, but he would trade the kid in an instant.

"Hey, do you think I get to call you and stuff while you're doing this practical-life-experiencey thingy?" Jim leans heavily over to him.

Bones shifts a little, somewhat repulsed at Jim's obvious state of inebriation. He looks down and swirls his drink around, "I would think so, but I guess it depends on where they're sending us."

Jim puts an arm around Leonard's shoulders, "I'm sure going to miss you, Bonesy. Our dumpy room isn't going to be the same without your matching attitude. What am I going to do when I get all scraped up, huh? I'm not going to have my personal Nurse McCoy to tend to my every need and whim. Who's going to scare off all the lovely ladies with their 'I'm more ancient than time' aura? Who's going-?"

"Ok, ok, I get the picture, Jim. You're going to miss me. Bunches, by the sound of it." McCoy rolls his eyes; it amazes him that he has stuck around Boy Wonder as long as he has. He gazes back over to Jim who was trying to impress a pretty red-head by attempting to balance a bottle of alcohol on his head. A grin flits over his face, sometimes he has to wonder.

Suddenly a man took the bottle from atop Jim's head. The guy was a little older than Jim, but probably not McCoy's own twenty-eight, he was burley and balding, probably training to be security. Jim looks him up and down, recognition crosses his face. Not the 'oh hey, it's my long lost friend!', more like 'oh shit, there's that jock that I pissed off yesterday!'. Jim looks at Bones, and then back at the man holding his beer.

"Hey, you have my beer." Jim's pointing finger wavers around a little.

"You owe me. No one makes me look like a fool, especially not some snotty-nosed farmer boy."

Jim scoffs, "Trust me, you didn't need any help, you were doing fine embarrassing yourself," Jim turns to McCoy, the doctor could've killed the kid for involving him in this, "He was all talking about what he would do if there were invaders onboard the ship, it was the most idiotic-"

"Hey!" The guy pulls Jim up by the front of his shirt. "Shut the hell up."

"Or what?"

The bottle smashes into Jim's head, the shards bursting around him like a halo. He falls forward, unconscious. McCoy stands up, obscenities on his lips, when a blinding pain erupts in the back of his head. A pair of arms stop him from crashing into the counter, but then the world dissolves sickly into blackness.

It was hot, really hot. His mouth feels like sandpaper and sweat was rolling down his body. The pounding in the back of his head feels like it was going to overtake his senses. Slowly McCoy opens his eyes. Bright. Why the hell was it so bright? His pupils finally dilate enough so that he can open his eyes completely. Leonard slowly sits up, acutely aware that the pain in his head would send him crashing back to the ground if he wasn't careful.

Desert, all around. He could've been on Vulcan for all he knew if it wasn't for the fact that his surroundings felt so "Earthy". The sun was twenty-three degrees high in the sky, so that meant McCoy had been lying in the heat for roughly two hours. Not a good idea if you want to avoid heat stroke. Looking around and he confirms that there was nothing within sight, no building, water, or person. Well, scratch that, there was one person he could see.

Jim was laying face down a few feet away. Worried, Bones stumbles to him. His pulse was steady, and besides the fact that he was probably on the verge of heat stroke, he was good. Except for the bump on his head and the places where several small pieces of glass are poking out of his scalp. McCoy curses the fact that those thugs took his medikit, highly inconsiderate that. He nudges Jim. The kid groans, but otherwise doesn't make any indication of moving. So the doctor decides to pinch him, hard.

Jim pushes himself straight up, gasping, and proceeds to throw up. McCoy grimaces, maybe he should have woken the kid gently. The doctor sits back on his haunches until Jim was done, waiting for him to orient himself with his surroundings. Jim looks at McCoy.

"Damn."

Leonard nods, "That about sums it up." He motions wildly, "Jim, why is it you always piss off the wrong people and then get me involved?"

Jim grins, "It's a gift."

"Well your 'gift' has landed us in a pickle." And then Leonard remembers, and starts to panic, "Shit! My shuttle leaves at eleven!"

Jim's eyes widen. He looks around, then starts searching his pockets. McCoy raises an eyebrow, "The hell are you doing?"

"Trying to see if baldy and his men in tights took my PADD or communicator."

Damn, he should've thought of that. He starts searching his pockets as well. A grin appears as his fingers brush against the smooth surface in his pocket. He pulls out his PADD triumphantly and starts waving it around.

Jim stares at it for minute, and then snatches it from Leonard's fingers. The doctor protests: he could use the damn thing just as well as this snot-nosed kid.

Jim glances at him and sees the scowl, "Oh don't be such a sourpuss, Bones. I just happen to know the code to patch us through to your shuttle. They'll come by and pick us up, I think."

"How do you know the code to the shuttle I'm going on?"

Jim has the grace to look somewhat embarrassed, he shrugs and mumbles something about looking it up yesterday, and keeping tabs and such. The thought that Jim was going to follow McCoy's journey electronically would've been creepy coming from anyone else. But he knows that Jim is just concerned. Leonard knows that he is probably Jim's first real friend, and as such, probably afraid to lose him. It warms the doctor's heart to know someone cares that much about him. And Jim's actions could be from the fact that Jim swears up and down that when left to his own devices, McCoy attracts trouble like no other. McCoy denies it whole-heartedly, claiming that it was only through his association with Jim that leads him to trouble. Leonard looks around the desert, obviously he was right.

"Alright, so your teacher knows of the situation and says that they'll swing by to pick us up, they're going to drop me back off at San Francisco. This hands-on class must be pretty important if your teacher is willing to come out here to get you."

Bones rubs his eyes, "It's only for a couple of months, Jim."

"I still don't like it."

"I know."

"Be safe, ok?"

"I will."

There you have it! Next up: Practical Application (dum dum dum!) I'll also be updating early because I'm going camping this weekend (Yay!), so look forward to a new chapter on Thursday!