9A/n: Thank you everyone who is reviewing! I never EVER thought this story would make it past three chapters, but here we are. As I'm sure Saloma-Kiwi knows, I'm slightly abandoning my responsibilities to other stories…but that's only 'til I get a good idea of how I want the next chapter to go. I'd appreciate if you guys reading this story would R&R that too.

By popular demand (okay it was a tie, so Beadle will be next), here is your next chapter

Chapter Four: Judge Turpin (Turnip for Nelliethepieangel!)

Your Top 8

1. Johanna

2. Lucy

3. That barber who looks oddly familiar though I cannot place him…it's as if I knew him in a past life…nah that's just crazy talk

4. The Beadle

5. The crazy baker who lives below that barber

6. The crazy Italian in the blue suit

7. Johanna again (that chick is HAWT)

8. That stupid sailor who thinks Johanna will marry him…HA!

Have you ever... with your number one

Gone Shopping Together

I never let her leave…EVER

Dated

We'll be married soon

Had A Dream About Them

o.O

Often

Kissed Them

Yes, but then she slapped me and yelled "GET AWAY YOU CREEP!"…it must be love

Been To Their House

She never leaves my house

Gone To The Same School

I gave her books to learn here…does that count?

Borrowed Their Car

What's a car?

Tattooed Their Name On You

I'm still deciding where to get it…

Forgot Their Birthday

Never

Vomited On Them

Once…I was very, very drunk

Have You Ever... With Your Number 2

Been A Couple

*drools* I did like her

Licked Them

I don't know…I was very drunk

Shared A Drink

Heh heh…I like her drunk

Skipped A Class Together

We were never in school together…we belong to different generations

Wrecked Their Car

What's a car?

Bought Them A Pet

I bought her flowers

Been On A Long Trip With Them

We were supposed to go on a beautiful honeymoon together…but then she killed herself…I wonder why…

Seen Their Baby Pictures

I imagine she looked a lot like Johanna as a baby

Have You Ever... With Your Number 3

Stole Something From Them

Not that I can think of…I mean it's not like I'd be a horrible person and steal his wife or something…I'm not a creep…always

Loaned Them Money

I won't give him any money…he keeps strange company

Told Them Your Deepest Darkest Secret

Don't you tell your barber secrets?

Borrowed Clothes From Them

Meh…I'm too good for his barber clothes…I like my over-tight pants and fancy judge jackets

Made Them Anything

I was going to give him money but nooooo he hangs out with that stupid sailor

Gave Them A Piece Of Gum

A piece of my mind maybe

Sang With Them

Pretty women…that was fun…though he was muttering something that sounded like "MUAHAHA I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!"…but nah, I'm sure he just doesn't enunciate

Went To An Amusement Park With Them

A what?

TP'd Their House

Did what?

Have you ever... with your number 4

Sang them a song

Well…he sang to me

Wrote them a song

No…I have better things to do

Drove Them Somewhere

He drives me crazy…does that work?

Visited them when they were sick

I tend to avoid him when he's sick…he gets the runs BAD

Bought them flowers before

No that's okay…I have better things to spend money on…like racy pictures to cover my peepholes! Woohoo! Peepholes=happy times man

Talked on the phone for more than 3 hours together

Talked on a what?

Gave them some clothes

*shudders* He borrows my clothes a lot…mostly because he says his wife throws his clothes out of the house when he gets home too late…

Wanna know why that's bad?

He's not married!

Went to Prom With Them

To what?

Colored them a picture

No…I keep all my racy pictures to myself

Taken a picture with them

Yes I have taken pictures from him

HAVE YOU EVER WITH YOUR NUMBER 5

Watched a scary movie together

A scary what?

Had an inside joke

I think her boots are a joke

Stood up for them when they were being made fun of

No…I am the big powerful judge…I do the making fun of

Bought them something for over $100

Why waste my money on her?

Been closer to them than your siblings

I don't have siblings…I was enough for my parents to handle

Went trick or treating together

Went where?

Talked outside of myspace

Dude…we don't even talk on myspace

Been envious of them

Her hair is pretty wicked…I wonder who does it for her

HAVE YOU EVER... WITH YOUR NUMBER 6

Regretted doing something with them

I regret buying that elixir…it reeks man, you have no idea

Been to a concert together

I've listened to him sing

Dated their sibling

Any sibling of theirs would be just as weird

Let them cheat off your homework

I'm the judge. I punish people for cheating

Flew on an airplane with them

A what?

Wished you didn't know this person

Every time I see him

Missed them so much you cried

I don't cry…it takes away from my masculine, intimidating air

Rode a roller coaster together

A what?

HAVE YOU EVER... WITH YOUR TOP 7

Seen them naked

Woo! Peep hole hour=happy hour for Turpin

Kissed them

I already answered this one

Met their parents

Yep…liked her mother…not her father so much, he got in my way

Danced together

Yes…all young ladies need to learn to dance and who better to teach her than me?

Taught them how to dance

That was a fun time

Borrowed their underwear

Only when she's not looking

Done anything illegal with them

Hmm…I think kidnapping is illegal

Left your clothes at their house

I accidentally left my jacket in her room once…man, she didn't come out from under her bed for a WEEK she was so freaked out

Loaned them more than $20

She doesn't need money, I'll provide everything she needs

Bought them a Christmas present

She never appreciates them

HAVE YOU EVER... WITH YOUR TOP 8

Dyed or highlighted their hair

His hair is weird man

Two words

GIRL. HAIR.

Kissed their sibling

No thanks…I'm saving myself for Johanna

Lost something very special to them

Johanna maybe

Went to their house when they weren't home

He lives on a ship and I get seasick

Cooked at their house

Again…no ships for me

Gone bowling with them

Gone where?

Spent more than 8 hours hanging out

I could beat him for eight hours…but I usually have the beadle do my dirty work

Gone to church together

I don't go to church. I strongly believe that I am God

Saved their life

I wouldn't if I had the chance

Been camping together

Maybe I'll take him camping…AND THEN KILL HIM

RANDOMNESS ABOUT YOUR TOP 8

Do you have more people of the same sex as you or opposite on top 8

Exactly equal

Have you ever changed your top 8 before filling out one of these surveys

If you think I have to change to be good enough for you, I'll have you beheaded

A/n: Ugh…I feel so dirty after writing that chapter…I'd go take a shower but I'm stuck in Fine Arts class right now, and this is my last class of the day, but then I have show choir 'til 5:30…if you review it'll make me feel better…o.O