Link!: There is a link on my profile to Memory Alpha. This site has the information you need to satisfy all your Star Trek needs. Most of the wording for my description of xenopolycythemia comes from this site as well as wikipedia.
Chapter 11: Trying to Act Mature, but Failing oh so Miserably
"- is a very rare blood disease. It causes excessive proliferation of red blood cells in the Human body. There is no known cure for Xenopolycythemia, but we have pinpointed the source to an abnormality in the bone marrow. As shown up here-"
"This is so boring."
"Shut up, I'm trying to listen."
"How did you ever convince me to come to a medical seminar with you?"
McCoy glares at Jim and hisses, "You volunteered all on your own, so why don't you suck it up and allow me to pay attention. This happens to be a very interesting lecture."
The silence lasts for a minute until Jim starts flipping his stylus up in the air. Leonard's eye twitches. He tries ignoring it for a minute, but dammit it wasn't his fault that the speaker had a monotone voice!
McCoy snatches the stylus midair, "Pay. Attention."
Jim looks on the brink of pouting, but then turns in his seat to face the speaker.
"Signs of Xenopolycythemia include, but are not limited to: headaches, vertigo, abnormally enlarged spleens and/or the liver. There might also be other conditions such as high blood pressure and the formation of blood clots-"
"My brain is about to implode." Came the moan next to him.
An eyebrow shoots up and McCoy glances over. Jim was limp in his seat, his eyes look glassy. His limbs are splayed out everywhere, limp as noodles. He snorts, yeah, it sure looks like he was brain-dead. The lecturer's voice was shoved to the background as Leonard begins pursuing more entertaining aspects. He can read up on the doctor's lecture later if he wants to.
Grinning, Bones put a finger in his mouth, making sure it was dripping in saliva. He leans over and stuck it in Jim's ear. The kid yelps and slides off his chair. A peculiar expression crosses his face as he tries to dry his ear canal. McCoy snorts as several occupants in the row in front of them turn to look back and give Jim disapproving looks. When Jim looks over to him, McCoy turns back to the speaker, pasting a focused look on his face like he had been listening the entire time.
"That was low, Bones. And quite immature I might add."
"Immature actions procure immature reactions."
Jim waves his arms around, "What the hell is that suppose to mean?"
"It means that if you're going to act immaturely, I am going to be forced to react immaturely."
"Right, blame me for your weird fetishes."
They sit in silence when Jim starts grinning, he huffs a little, trying to keep from laughing outright, "That was pretty good, Bones. You have my congratulations."
"Oh? Do I get a medal for my outstanding performance?"
"Don't push it, Bones." Pause, "Doesn't that guy look like Admiral Archer's beagle?"
The laugh escapes his lips before he has a chance to beat it down. McCoy bends over, hand pressed firmly over his mouth, his whole body shaking with repressed laughter. The worst part was that what Jim said was true, the lecturer did look like that beagle.
"Shhh!" An older woman in front of them scolds them.
A snort of laughter comes from Jim, it looks like he was having a hard time keeping in the mirth as well.
Finally Leonard takes a deep breath and sits back up. He really shouldn't be doing this. He was a professional in the field of medicine, here to learn and collaborate with those of like mind. But damn if Jim doesn't make him feel like a high schooler.
McCoy points out a man sitting up on the Board of Representatives, "What about that man?"
Jim cocks his head, "What about him?"
"Look a bit squirrelly, don't he?"
A hissing sound was coming from the kid as he tries so hard not to make a sound. He was holding his sides, one foot stamping on the ground. More people are turning to look at them. McCoy placates them with his hand gestures and shrugs as if to say, kids, what can you do?
Jim settles down. They both sit there, lost in their minds, thinking about anything but the lecture. Jim pokes him. Then he pokes him again. He keeps poking until Leonard elbows him in the side.
"Ow."
"Oh, is James T. Kirk hurt by a little elbow shoved into this side? Here, maybe this will help." Another elbow to the side.
Jim glares at him, his expression changes though, to one of pure malevolence. He sits back in his seat casually, "So Bones, I heard a little rumor, tell me if I'm wrong because you know how I hate having wrong assumptions . . ."
McCoy shifts a little, wary of this change in attitude.
"I heard from some little newbies that there was someone holding this seminar. First one of its kind at the Academy."
Leonard stiffens; he really would've preferred it if Jim had never found out about this. Ever. He tries to look indifferent, "Oh really? Listening to first years' gossip, Jim? I didn't know you could sink so low."
Jim grins, "I try. Anyway, I inquired further, and guess what I found out, Bones."
"I have to idea, Jim."
"Turns out it's a seminar for people with astrophobia. It got me thinking, Bones should really go to this seminar, it might help him with his 'problem'."
"If by 'problem' you mean scared shitless of anything that flies is going to explode, then I assure you it is a very real possibility. I don't see why you have to poke fun at a perfectly reasonable fear, Jim."
Jim's eyes starts twinkling with merriment, "Whatever let's you sleep at night, Bones," he waves a hand dismissively, "Anyway! You're getting me off topic."
That's the point, Leonard thinks.
"So I ask the kids more about this seminar. Now listen to this Bones, this is the really interesting part. Turns out a doctor in the Starfleet training program organized the whole thing, convinced he wasn't the only one in the Academy scared shitless of flying. It was the most intriguing thing-"
"Okay, okay! I give up!"
"Shhhhh!" Several people join in this time.
McCoy glares at them and then turns back to Jim, "I give up, ok? I admit it, I organized a seminar for astrophobics. We're going to have a big discussion about the subject of flying and Starfleet, as well as how to try and augment these fears (I, of course, suggest being drunk while flying). There're different speakers from Starfleet coming to talk about some aspects of the phobia. I am also speaking." A hand sweeps through his hair, "There, are you happy now, Jim? You've got the confession out of me."
Jim nods, he was shaking, though, trying not to laugh, "Quite happy, Bones. It's good to see you reach out to fellow," a snort, "victims of this dilapidating phobia."
"Yeah, yeah, shut the hell up."
"You know I only make fun of you because I care."
A glare, "I don't think that's quite it, Jim."
"Well, I have one question to ask you concerning this seminar."
The lecturer was starting to notice the distracting companions in the back, McCoy eyed Jim, "Yeah? What?"
"Can I come to your seminar?"
"Hell no."
"Oh come one, Bones. I want to be there for support."
"Not if this is how you act in all the seminars you go to."
Jim looks around the room. A good majority of people were glaring at them, even the person speaking gave them pointed looks. "Point taken."
They sit and listen. McCoy can tell that Jim was trying, he really was. But even this old country doctor wants to shoot his own brains out. Finally he gets an idea, a very immature and childish idea, but it would alleviate the torture they were going through. McCoy reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small ball of rubber bands. Why did he have a small ball of rubber bands in his pocket? He has not idea. Maybe left over from his class project earlier today.
He snaps one off and nudges Jim, the kid looks at him, bored. Leonard waves the band in front of his face and points to a head in the sea of heads, "Want to see who can hit the target first?"
The glint in Jim's eyes returns. He straightens up at the thought of the challenge, "You're on."
Oh, they were so getting kicked out for this.
And there you have it. Only two more chapters to go ladies and gentlemen!