-Holiday-

December was the topping of the year at the moment [1] and it was blistering cold.

Bone chilling if you were an unlucky bastard living in the dungeons, under the lake in Slytherin territory.

Unfortunately Draco was one of those unlucky bastards.

His teeth chattered as he sat as close as possible to his fireplace in his prefect room. Next to him Blaise acted cool, pretending he didn't even realize his breath materialize out in front of him.

"Blaise, are you daft? Why-y aren't you s-shivering like m-me?" Malfoy complained.

Blaise smiled deviantly. "I have no reason to shiver."

"Bollocks!"

Blaise laughed at Draco's comment.

The whole day, Saturday, they'd spent their entire time in Draco's room, Pansy occasionaly coming in to check Blaise hadn't stole Draco away from her.

Like that would ever happen. Like he would even belong to Pansy!

"What's on your mind?"

Draco snapped out of it. He had spaced out.

"Nothing."

"Really? It must have been something big, it stopped your shivering."

Blaise was right. He had stopped.

He was thinkning of something, somethings. But he couldn't tell Blaise. Even if the guy was like his best friend.

"Really, its nothing. Besides, " He turned to look at the time. "Its dinner time, you should go down."

"You aren't coming again?" Blaise exsasperated. Rolling his eyes.

"No, I'm not coming again. " Draco mocked.

The blonde had been reported missing evey meal time since November. And the unknown habit grew unto December.

"I honestly don't know why you do this, not the slightest clue." The darker boy stood up and stretched.

"Good, you're not suppose to know."

"One day, someone will know the tragedies and deepest secrets of the great Draco Malfoy, so don't plan on no one ever knowing."

"Sure Blaise."

"Alright then. See you when the breaks over." He pat Draco's head and left.

Draco sat still in front long after Blaise left.

His mood was irritable and moody. Wasn't his fault but then again he couldn't deny it was somewhat his fault.

He'd been skipping out on going to meals ever since his heart felt weak. Afterall how much grief can one heart take before it failed to beat completely?

And the causes for this were what was making him moody are:

His mother, father, and Harry.

Dreams intensified, emotions grew and flourished, and Harry...of course he still liked Harry.

He ached for Harry. He shone so brilliantly even under all that dark gloom over his shoulders. Draco watched him when the other wasn't looking. And everytime he thought about Potter...his pride, his everything just melted away. But he couldn't stand not being able to have contact with the boy. He suffered everytime Potter tried to talk to him and thus stopped going to meals.

But...although he still liked him, Harry was out of reach.

Draco could've possibly have had him once but...love? Never. He would never be able to love Harry. And neither would Harry be able to love him. Whether it be by personal ethics, or feelings, society would never let them be.

And yet he still couldn't shake Harry off. This was more than a three year crush, this was something else.

But love was a blurred out thing for Draco. His real mother left him when he was just a baby and didn't even leave word why she did. She left him with an unforgiving, proud, incappable fool. What was love?

Father.

"Father..." he whispered. "Did you drive her away from me?"

Dated entries repeated the question over and over inside A.S. Unanswered

December 22nd.

Hogwarts students left the days before for Christmas break. Now was the only time Draco allowed himelf to leave his quarters, besides for showering. And especially since Harry was gone.

He wore muggle clothing, much warmer than robes, and wandered the almost empty school.

He damned his father for keeping him here while everyone else left him behind. But let his Malfoy mask fall. He wandered outside and let snowflakes fall on his flawless skin though he was freezing his ass off.

But he was happy. He was content not being a prick 24/7. After all that was the child Lucius created. In fact Draco wasn't half of what Lucius dictates him to be.

He scoffed.

OUT OF NOWHERE

From behind a snowball hit him on his ass.

He turned around with such force he almost slipped. But he would've slipped anyway seeing the person in front of him.

Harry laughed at Draco's stumbling.

Draco sighed uncomfortably as he watched Harry smile beautifully.

"Get away from me Potter." he hissed.

Harry stopped giggling and stared downheartedly. "Why?"

"Because you make me sick." It was literal but just in a different manner.

"You make me sick! You're nothing but a sniveling, moody, coward!"

"So what if I am? It's none of your business!"

"It becomes my business when I once thought you liked me. All you did was runaway and avoid me."

I did. That hurt Draco. I still do like you, his heart whispered. "Well that was a long time ago. I figured I made a mistake." He turned to leave. "Besides, it's not like you even liked me anyway." he shrugged.

He felt another snowball thrown at him, "Well I did, you pervy prick!" Harry's face flushed.

Draco had to succumb to Harry's childishness and threw a fast one at Harry's head. Knocking off his glasses. Draco dived for them and played keep away.

"Give them back!" Harry belowed.

"No fun." he muttered. He did give them back but only because if he didn't he'd give in to temptation and do something rash. "Why are you even here? Why aren't you gone, with the Weasleys?"

"Do you want me gone?" Harry hissed.

"Actually-"

"Too bad! I didn't go this year because I wanted to be alone." he said crossing his arms seriously.

"Alone? Why could you possibly want to be alone?" 'Unbelievable.' Draco thought.

"Well, why are you alone?"

"I don't have the choice in it. My father forbade me from going home."

"What, did he find out you're gay?"

"No, you twit. Somethings going on, and he wont let me in on what's happening."

"Something to do with Voldie then."

"Voldie?"

"I waste breath saying his whole name." He saw Draco gaping at him. "What?"

"You're an idiot you know that? You really are. You have the most feared darkest wizard coming after you annualy, trying to kill you and everyone associated with you and you go about calling him 'Voldie'?"

"I don't fear him like everyone else. I fear losing to him, and letting everyone else down." Harry sighed, "You wouldn't understand."

"Of course, I'm not the Chosen One."

"You think its a joke, "Harry murmured "But chances are you'll get sucked into his stupid plot. You could even die." At this Harry had the saddest expression.

"Good." Draco whispered. Breath flowing in front of him.

"How can you say that?" Harry growled. He crept over to the slytherin, only a foot away. "So many people are already dead because of him and you could have the chance to live and love and-"

That's where Draco had to stop him. He placed a finger on Harry's lips. "Shut up. I don't want to hear it."

Harry shoved him off. "I can't believe I liked you-

"That makes two of us." he interrupted. He gulped almost audibly. He needed to get away before he had a breakdown in front of Harry. "I really...don't need to hear that...from you." he muttered hopelessly. Especially from you. He thought. You'll make me think you actually care for me.

"Nobody deserves to die in this war, not even you." Harry whispered.

Draco shivered. His eyes disobidiently looked down at Harry. "What if I want to?" Draco asked almost compulsively.

Harry slowly neared Draco. "No, you don't." he whispered. He tiptoed, staring blankly into Draco's passionate eyes. "You wont." he said placing a soft kiss on Malfoy's lips.

Draco ravished Harry slowly. Gripping his shoulders as if he were going to fall. He licked, sucked Harry's soft lips. Entered his mouth and tasted Harry from the inside, his tongue caressing lovingly. Yearnfuly.

They broke apart confused.

"Stay away from me Harry..." he sullenly said.

Before Harry could start he interrupted, "Please." he pleaded.

With that he left back to the castle and to his room, leaving behind a sad Harry.

Christmas Day

Christmas dinner was as extravagant as any other special meal. Great Hall embellished with cheery adorned trees and lights and all that celebrative crap.

Draco stopped being a turtle and attended though there was a good chance he was going to see Harry there but it didn't matter. If Harry was the type of person Draco thought he was then he would take his word and leave him alone.

He dressed again in muggle clothing and sat with his fellow Slytherins. From where he sat at he had a perfect view of Harry and Hagrid playing Wizard's Chess. Harry's King and Queen were brought down at the same time and crushed to bits. His face was in absolute shock. "You beat me in minutes Hagrid!" he bellowed. Hagrid's laughter echoed. Malfoy smiled, chin resting on his palm.

Harry looked up and caught Draco's smile turn to a frown. This made Harry smile, making Draco hastily look away in embarrassment.

Hagrid was scolded at by Filch, apologized to Harry and went back to work, whatever it was he did.

Harry kept his gaze on the Slytherin. Draco was aware of it and becoming uncomfortable. He sighed and finally met Harry's eyes. "What?" he motioned with his hands.

Harry jumped a little. He blushed, he hadn't known Draco knew he was watching him. "Nothing." Harry motioned shaking his head frantically.

Malfoy rolled his eyes and began to talk with the students on his table. And Harry did the same and surprisingly Luna popped out of nowhere next to Harry. Something about looking for Hinkypunks?

"Aren't those dangerous?" Harry asked.

"Oh no Harry. Theyre actually quite peaceful. They're afraid of people so they tend to run, well hop, to bogs to protect themselves. It's just that they're so hard to find in winter, I thought perhaps they'd turn up here."

"Ok. Good luck with that then."

She skipped her way back to Ravenclaw table humming.

And that was Christmas. Dinner. Presents coming by owl. And friends to spend time with.

A sudden thought came to Harry though when Hedwig came flying and landed next to Harry. If he couldn't be around Malfoy then the least he could do is send him a greeting.

He'd ripped a corner off a wrapping and wrote: Merry Christmas :)

Harry and the rest had left before Draco got the message. He read it over and over and sighed. 'Dork.' he smirked.

[1] that has to be the weirdest thing i've ever written. I think it was when i was in the mood for iceream. lol

well, yeah another ch. ^^ It mostly focused on Draco didn't it? Thanks for reading again. Hope to see you all next ch. ^^ ta -Vash