This is written based on the song written and recorded by Phil Collins, and Mariah Carey's amazing cover of it. Don't own SVU, Mariah, or Phil Collins. Deal with it. I have….

Olivia:

I'm broken. I don't know what to do with myself because… he's gone. He said we couldn't work together, and… so… I left. I thought it… I thought it was what he wanted. What he needed. I went to Oregon. Or Washington? Or Texas? Or Timbuk-fucking-tu?

I don't know where the hell I was, but I wasn't with him. I couldn't even tell him how much I loved him. No, I can't say that in the past tense, because I still love him. Never stopped. God, I love him so much, that I fucking left him to fix his fucked up marriage that's never going to last. I… what was I thinking?

Elliot:

What was I thinking? She's the only woman in this world that has ever meant anything to me. And I just… I let her leave. I acted surprised when I found out she was gone, but I knew. There is nothing about her that I don't know.

And Olivia… she's the only one… who's ever known me at all. Every breath I ever took, I took with that woman. The rest of the time, I was suffocating. And that is sad to say, but I was. Besides my children, she was my only solace. Liv was my life, and I took that for granted. I took her for granted I will never regret anything more.

She walked away, and all I could do was watch her leave. From a distance of course. From afar like a coward, but it's all I could do. We shared every laugh. We shared every trauma, all the pain, all the tears. Yes, my Liv was the only one who could read me. See me inside and out, and she appreciated it. Almost too much. Kathy saw it. My kids saw it. The entire SVU tight knit clique saw it. I pretended not to notice, as did she, but… we both knew it was there.

I wish she could see me now though. I divorced Kathy two years ago. My kids see me deteriorating. The squad doesn't know how to deal with me, and I believe the only reason Cragen keeps me on is out of sympathy. Without her, there is just nothing. An empty space that I can't fill no matter how I try. I wish she'd see me and come back to pick up the pieces in this mess I've made. The way that she always did...

All I have is the memory of her beautiful face. And the thought of her coming back to me… even though after all this time, seems impossible. I did nothing, proved nothing to her. To show her that I loved her, and that I remotely deserved her in any way.

Olivia:

I wish he could have known how much it hurt for me to up and leave him. How I pretended, even to myself, that I was letting go. I wish he could have seen the tears that I shed for him. I wrote in a million unsent letters all of the things I wanted to say to him, I should have said to him. So many fucking letters. And thoughts. I wish I could list to him the reason's why I had to go, and how I wished I could let him beg me to stay. How much seeing him with Kathy nearly killed me. How I could only look at his children and see that they were meant to be mine. I was meant to be their mother. God, but how couldn't he have known? How could he have not known that he's the only one who's ever really known me at all.

Elliot:

She's back in New York and I'm outside her door. My hand is paused just under the peep hole, because I can't decide whether I should knock or not. Part of me wants to. Part of me wants to run. Part of me wants to break down all together and just say fuck it all to hell. I need to see her. To breathe in her scent, make sure she's real and tell her all I've longed to say. A forbidden secret I no longer have to hide.

Olivia:

I could feel him before he knocked. I don't know if someone told him I was back, or if he just used his senses to detect me. But it doesn't matter, because he knows I'm here, and he's right outside the door. I thought for sure he hated me now. He wouldn't forgive me for leaving.

Him caring at all about me the way I care about him seems against all odds. Now though... it's something I have to face.

But he's outside, and… I know what I should do even though I can't seem to move, but I can't leave him out there. I'll open the door. Let him yell then I'll pick up the pieces of my broken heart once again. It's all I've ever done. It's a chance I've gotta take.

I square my shoulders. I open the door, and we both stare at each other in silence. Brown and blue eyes clash while we both try and think of something to say. He speaks first.

"You left..." It's barely a whisper. He wants to say, "you left me..." Though he doesn't verbalize this, his eyes tell me everything he isn't saying out loud. That we both were cowards. That we wasted so much time. That what we were doesn't matter any longer, because we've both changed. That we're so different than we were before. That how we've seen each other in the past, isn't who we are right here in the present.

"Take a look at me now." It's all I have to say, to let him know we're on the same page. He smiles before stepping into my personal space. His lips are soft against mine, and gone far too soon for my liking. But he isn't done, he just has something to say.

"Take a look at us now."

A/N: Okay, my writing skills are rusty (EXTREMELY rusty), but I tried to go back and do a little bit more with this chapter. If there's something you don't understand, something that doesn't make sense, and any grammar and spelling errors, let know and I'll fix it!