Chapter Two: Quit Crying Woman!

"I'm dead, I'm dead I'm DEAD!" Orihime whined as she galloped across the crowded streets. She held one hand to her white uniform hat, making sure it won't blow away in the wind.
 Her white, waitress uniform flew rapidly in the wind, causing her skirt to go over her thighs. Orihime turned cherry blossom pink and, with her free hand, she pulled her skirt down. The black heels were digging into her skin, causing blisters to form. Orihime always wondered why the cafe needed a ridiculous uniform. They can do so much more without these ridiculous heels! Not to mention that the skirt and blouse were pale and old. The uniform she was wearing use to belong to a middle-aged woman. The day she came asking for the job, was the day that her boss fired the middle-aged woman. Orihime still remembered how she looked like: Short, curly black hair, lips covered in mounds of bright red lipstick, and skin orange from tanning too much. But the thing that caught Orihime's attention the most was the gigantic mole on the woman's cheek. Nobody could ever miss that. Even when the woman gave Orihime the glare of death and the finger, her eye's were practically on the mole. It was as if, the mole was cursing her for stealing it's job. Orihime sometimes believed in the curse. She's been late to work too many times and her uniform was giving her loads of pain. Especially those damn heels!

She saw the cafe sign up ahead. "Cafe Sugar" was what it was called. The sign had a silhouette of a man sitting on a small chair holding a cigarette and a teacup. Next to him is a woman dropping two sugar cubes into his cup. Orihime quickened her pace in a speed run. The skin in her heels tore but she didn't care. All she cared about was making it to work. "Your almost there, your almost there," Orihime said to herself. She ran so fast that she lost control. It was as if her legs were running on their own! "OH NO!" Orihime cried. A customer was coming out of the store. a short man who was bald on the top of his head, but had hair on the sides. He was wearing a blue, button up plaid shirt tucked in his gray pants. He had a thick, brown mustache and he was holding a white box in his hands. "SIR! LOOK OUT!" Orihime shouted as she came rushing right toward him. The man just turned his head in her direction. His brown eyes widened and his jaw dropped. BAA BAA BAM! The man was on the floor screaming. He quickly got up and started barking, "MY CAKE! MY CAKE!" Orihime opened her eyes to find all the people staring at her. A few of them were laughing. Orihime felt sticky, and when she sat up, she saw she was covered in white cream. She felt tears forming in the corner of her eyes. Her boss pushed his way through the crowd & stood still. Orihime looked up at him and frowned. Holding back her tears stung her eyes. Her boss was a "comb-over" with a belly the size of a watermelon. He looked at her in disgust and gestured the other people to go. The man with the thick mustache still stood there screaming. He went over to Orihime's boss and barked, "WHAT ABOUT MY CAKE? I NEED MY CAKE!" He brought his fist to the air. The boss put his hand in the air in front of the yelling man.

"Calm down sir. Your new cake will be ready in twenty-five minutes," The boss said calmly.

"TWENTY FIVE MINUTES? I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG! I have to be ready for my wife's anniversary! I don't have time to waste! I need to prepare so much mo-"

"Twenty five minutes or no cake," The boss cut him off, " Unless you want a cupcake for your wife."

The bald man glared at Orhime and took a seat in the corner of the room. He took out his cell phone and began texting. Orihime stood up and wiped some cream off her skirt. The cream stuck to her skin and smelled like vanilla.

"Miss Orihime, follow me," Her boss ordered. Orihime let out a small sigh and walked over to her boss. As they made their way out of the cafe, Orihime heard her co-workers snickering. He led her to the back of the cafe and stopped in tracks. He stood there not moving an inch. Orihime examined him from the back. The suit he wore was much too small for him and the fat on his neck stuck out.

"sir?" Orihime softly said.

Suddenly, her boss twirled around. His face was a hot lava red, his usual blue eyes became bloody red,sweat trickled down his neck, and he had a few veins on his forehead. He shouted, "ORIHIME!" Orihime brought her hands to her ears. She shrunk back as the enormous elephant trotted over to her.

"ORIHIME! You have been causing me so much trouble! Ever since day one that you came to work in my cafe! Your always late, your always clumsy, and your-"

"I'm sorry sir! I'm so sorry sir! I didn't mean to cause you trouble!" Orihime cut off.

"Sorry? Orihime! Do you think sorry would fix all the damn F*king mistakes you did? HMMM?" The boss said, heaving.

Orihime kept silent.

And that's when he said it.

"YOUR FIRED! YOUR F*KING FIRED! YOU HEAR ME? GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

"sir..."

"THE ONLY REASON WHY I HIRED YOUR F*KING ASS WAS BECAUSE OF THIS!" He pointed to Orihime's breasts.

Orihime looked down and felt her cheeks glow pink.

"OTHER THEN THAT YOUR USELESS! I WAS HOPING YOU CAN ATTRACT MORE CUSTOMERS! BUT I GUESS THE ONLY ATTRACTION YOUR GIVING THEM IS YOUR DAMN CLUMSINESS!" With that her boss turned around and began panting. All this shouting was making him tiered.

Orihime stood there frozen. She let her tears pour down her cheeks. "Sir..."

Her Boss had enough, " DIDN'T I TELL YOU? GET YOUR F*KING ASS OUT OF HERE!"

And with that Orihime ran.

And ran.

And ran.

Faster.

Faster.

Until she was far away from the cafe. She dropped herself into a patch of grass and put her hands to her face. She screamed and began crying like a small child.

"drew, I thought you said you loved me?"

"I do love you Rachelle."

"Then why did you cheat on me?"

Ulquiorra changed the channel, "Trash."

" Oh Edward..."

"Oh Bella.."

"Trash," Ulquiorra changed the channel.

" YOUR THE MAN OF THE HOUSE!"

"So?"

"SO? What do you mean so?"

Ulquiorra set the remote down.

" Leave me alone woman."

"NO! I won't! You get your Ass off that couch and go make some money!"

"Damn you woman!"

Ulquiorra watched as the thin haired man got up and left through the door. The woman sat down on the couch and placed her legs on the coffee table.

"Men."

Ulquiorra sat still as the program ended and the credits began rolling in. Curiosity struck his brilliant mind. What did man of the house mean? He was curious about this simple sentence. Surely he had never heard of such a term before. Ulquiorra suddenly felt his stomach rumble. What was that feeling the woman explained to him again? Oh yes, the feeling was hunger. He stood up and, with his hands in his pockets, made his way into the kitchen. He opened the ice box and examined the contents inside. He took out a pink container with a kitten picture on the cover and put it on the counter. Ulquiorra opened the lid. A sudden dreadful scent entered his nostrils. He made a slight twitch with his nose and looked down. He could never understand why the woman never realized that whatever she cooked was disgusting. Last night's dinner was fish smothered in chocolate milk. He remembered staying in the bathroom for at least an hour. He asked the woman what was wrong with his body and she, who turned strangely red, explained to him that he had something called diarrhea. Being a human was icky and filthy. Yet, Ulquiorra never thought of the woman as icky or filthy. She smelled of flowers and her personality was light and bubbly. Nothing like the woman he saw on TV. The woman on TV was ugly, her face was packed with loads of powder and makeup. The woman on TV was rude and cruel. The woman on TV was trash.

Ulquiorra grabbed the contents and dumped them in the trash. Then, he went back into the icebox and looked around. Maybe he can cook something for himself, even though he never cooked a meal his entire life. Ulquiorra brought his emerald eyes to a shelf in the icebox. Inside were large eggs, as white as pearls. He took out a couple and placed them on the counter. He then brought his gaze down and saw a few vegetables in the bottom shelf. He pulled out a blood red tomato, a purple onion, and a green bell pepper. Ulquiorra brought his nose up to each vegetable. The smell of the tomato was satisfying. It smelled sweet and felt juicy. He then placed it down and picked up the onion. Ulquiorra wrinkled his nose in displeasure. The scent was awfully strong and he thought that maybe he should exclude it from the dish...but, yet again he has never cooked before and so he decided to let it be, just for an experimentation. He set it down and picked up the green bell pepper. He brought it to his nose and sniffed in the scent. Ulquiorra felt that this vegetable had the best scent of all. He set the bell pepper down and opened a drawer. He took out a large knife and was about to cut the vegetable when he remembered seeing the woman use a platform to cut. Where did she keep it again? Oh yes, she kept it near the firebox. Ulquiorra grabbed the white platform and placed it on the counter. After, he placed the vegetables on it. He grabbed the bell pepper and sliced it in half. He then began cutting it into thinner pieces. He remembered how the woman would slice. Her vegetables were uneven and awkward. Ulquiorra didn't like awkward. He wanted everything to be in perfect formation. He continued to the cut the pieces evenly until he was done. He stood back and gazed at his work. He then reached over and grabbed the onion. He sliced it in half and immediately the smell stung his eyes. He felt his eyes burn and before he knew what was going on, his eyes began forming tears. Ulquiorra ignored the pain and continued to cut until the onion was finely chopped. He grabbed the tomato and sliced it. SPLIRT! Some of the juice squirted on his cheek. Ulquiorra wiped it off with his free hand and softly sliced the tomato. He then finished and stared at his work. Three vegetables and such trouble? How much he hated being a human. If he were still an espada he would have fried this vegetables and be done with them.

But he was a human, with an organ called a heart.

And if he were an Espada, then he wouldn't be with the woman.

Ulquiorra brushed these thoughts from his mind and focused on the meal he was making. He heard his stomach rumble again and he quickly grabbed a pan and placed it on the fire box. He remembered that the woman turned a switch when using this machine. Ulquiorra turned the switch and POP! Flames came out! Ulquiorra placed the pan on the fire and knelt down to grab a bottle of oil from the lower cabinet. He suddenly remembered seeing the woman's butt earlier this morning, sticking out from the very same cabinet he was in. He felt a sudden pain in his groin and the burning sensation in his chest. What was this feeling? He got back up and poured a small amount of oil into the pan, imitating the woman. He then turned around and faced the vegetables. Which one would he choose first? It didn't take him long to decide. He dumped all of the vegetables into the steaming pan and watches as they absorbed the oil. It some how fascinated him. He grabbed a wooden spoon from the spoon cup and began stirring. He had seen the woman countless number of times get burned from using a medal spoon while cooking. Did she not have the brains enough to realize that the heat transfers from the pot and into the spoon? Surely she was an idiot. She was a kind and innocent idiot. He watched as the onions became a shade darker. He then left the pan and grabbed one of the pearl-like eggs. He examined it. How did the woma- Oh yes!Ulquiorra hit the egg against the stove. He hit it a little too hard and caused the whole thing to crack. He watched as the goo slipped off his fingers and onto the floor. He then took the other egg into his hand and, this time, hit it with less force. He heard it crack. He split the egg shells and watched as the goo fell onto the vegetables. He watched as the liquid became a solid. How fascinating. He picked up the wooden spoon and began mixing the contents until they were all coated with the egg. He then let it cook a minute longer and turned the switch off. Ulquiorra examined his hand and brought it up to his face. He sniffed the goo. "Trash," He said as he wrinkled his nose. He made his way to the sink and washed off the stinky egg with dish soap. He then made his way back and stared at his creation. He smelled it, and to his surprise, it smelled tempting. He grabbed the wooden spoon and brought the contents up to his onyx lips. He opened his mouth. Ulquiorra's eyes slightly widened as he brought his gaze back to his dish. It tasted...wonderfully delicious! Ulquiorra couldn't help but smirk. He was just a beginner at cooking yet he was much better than the woman, who had been cooking for years.

The door opened but Ulquiorra didn't pay attention to it. It was obviously the woman. But why was she back so early? She usually came back home at 4:00 p.m. Did her boss give her a break for today? Ulquiorra's curiosity got the best of him and he left the kitchen. Ulquiorra stopped and stood still. His beautiful green eyes were kept on the view before him. The woman was sitting, her knees brought up to her shoulders, her face buried in her arms, her back to the door. He could hear a few yelps and hiccups. She was covered in a thin white layer of cream, dirt, and tears. Suddenly, she looked up. Her tearful gray eyes locked in with his emerald ones. He suddenly felt a pain in his chest. He didn't know what it was. Before he had time to even think of it, the woman cried, "Ulqui!" She got up and pranced on him, throwing her arms around his body. Ulquiorra was a little surprised of the sudden movement that the woman did, his arms were slightly in the air. She held onto him tightly. Her nails were digging into the skin through his shirt on his back. He felt her soft breasts squishing against his rock-hard chest. He suddenly felt the burning sensation and the pain in his groin. The woman had her face buried in his chest and he felt her warm tears wetting his gray shirt. He felt a sudden annoyance of her constant crying. Ulquiorra put his hands on Orihime's shoulders and pulled her away from him. He then locked his green eyes with her gray ones and said, " Quit crying woman!"

With that, Orihime fell silent. Had her constant crying annoy the living hell out of him? Orhime suddenly felt embarrassed from her sudden embrace that she took a few steps back from the ex-espada. Ulquiorra couldn't tell that she was blushing because of her already reddened face. She mumbled a little, "I- I- I'm sorry Ulqui." She took a seat on the couch and pulled off her work hat. She kicked off her heels and placed a hand to her forehead. "I've been having a really bad day today," She said holding back a few tears. She looked at Ulquiorra with a sign of melancholy in her eyes and said, "I got fired."

Ulquiorra just stood there, his hands back in his blue, PJ's pockets. " My boss fired me," Orihime continued to look at Ulquiorra, "I lost my job Ulqui." Orihime slid her hand from her forehead and placed them on her eyes. "I don't have money! I'll lose my home! Then we'll be living outside in a cardboard box! Oh Ulqui!" Orihime bursted out in tears.

There she goes again, Ulquiorra thought.

"Or maybe you'll go find another place to live, then I'll be living all alone in my small, cardboard box, eating instant raman noodles for the rest of my life, a cheeseburger on holidays, if I'm lucky..."

Ulquiorra never felt so annoyed in his entire life.

Yay! Ulquiorra cooking! Isn't that cute? Yes, I know that a tomato isn't a vegetable! Hopefully the next chapter would be more exciting. I hope I didn't bore you guys! P.S: If anyone wants to know the recipe of Ulquiorra's dish, private message me! (Just kidding) StrawberrySensation~