Chapter 3: 'Welcome to Insanity'

A/N: The reason I'm updating so fast is A) I already had these chapters pre-written and B) I'm off school for a week:]] BUT im not here for that whole week and I have study to do (Rolls eyes) so the next chapter probably won't be up as fast but I'm working on it currently and I will try my best to have it posted. I hate when you read something and the updates are so irregular and late that you forgot what the story is about and you have to re-read chapters so I don't want to be like that.

Thank you all for reviewing it makes me smile (Grins like a fool) I like the way this story is turning out and I like messing around with some characters.

To 'Sklamoi' I really liked you review I'm glad you find that part of Itachi enjoyable, the same way I do, it's annoying when you read ItachiXSakura fictions and you get all the same material constantly it gets boring and predictable. In reality if you look closely at his actions Itachi is actually very caring (To Sasuke at least, before he went and died) and I brought that part of his character out in this story. I'm glad you like that and I'm very appreciative for your review.

Enjoy

Lastwords

R&R

Sakura woke up feeling well rested but not in an energetic sort of way. Getting up she pulled on her uniform, all the excitement of the school had left, it had been replaced with homework, exams, getting up early, having to go in. She wondered why every summer everybody itched to get back here and then after the first day they wanted to run as far away from it as possible. Doing her make up and not bothering with her hair she brushed her teeth and walked into the kitchen

The dorm was silent because Sakura was up alot earlier than Ino would be, even though Ino got up early. Walking to the fridge Sakura made herself some breakfast and took her vitamin C tablet along with her other pill. It was relief knowing she had taken it; so much ease came from that tiny pill, even when it was resting on her tongue waiting to be swallowed. When the actual effects kicked in, it was brilliant Sakura needed that pill to live her everyday life.

Grabbing her stuff Sakura scribbled Ino a quick note, the morning looked like it was going to be a bright warm one so she wanted to be outside. Not only that, even though she had taken her pill Sakura could feel the itching in her fingers and arm so she needed to get away from this place. Where it could easily happen, a lapse of control and she'd be screwed.

Gone outside probably by the time you read this

I'll be in the school building but I might not be,

So make sure to check by the benches on you way in,

Sorry for not waiting but it looks like a nice day

And I wanna be outside.

Sakura

Walking out the door and closing it lightly behind her Sakura waited but the itch didn't leave. She could feel it mocking her, daring her to try just once, but Sakura knew she knew all to well; she needed to get away from it. So Sakura ran, she ran in her school uniform, with her backpack down the stairs instead of taking the elevator she ran outside, where it was bright but still chilly the sun didn't have much heat yet. Sakura ran until she physically couldn't pull her legs any further, sitting herself down on a bench she gasped as the need for more air slowly left. Leaning with her hands on her knees, Sakura stared at her feet. The itching was disappearing, slowly but it was better than it staying. She sighed as the sensation left completely and she felt calm.

What a way to start the morning she thought but she had already agreed with herself today was going to be a good day. Karma or no karma she would make this day a good one. No rich dark haired boy with a girlfriend was going to change that. She needed to remember why she was here, and keep to that thought. Not get distracted and hurt by something that was out of her reach and quite frankly unimportant. Sure she'd be social- able but she would not, and she stressed would not, be jealous or angry or get silly ideas about her relationship with the older Uchiha. He was her mentor that was all. Period. She couldn't allow herself to get distracted by a love interest no matter who he was in her first year, first week at this new school. She needed to prove her worth and her intelligence because even though they didn't say it the teachers wouldn't keep on a charity case if she couldn't prove she had what it takes to stay.

And by God was Sakura going to prove it, she sat down on one of the benches that had a table and took out her advanced applied math book where she began revising what she knew and what she had done yesterday. It was never too early to start studying for a test, because there would always be a test. She enjoyed having the upper hand it made her feel like she was worth something, in a crowd of blank faces Sakura liked having something that stood out.

The minutes mixed together and soon Sakura began to see students walking on campus towards the school building. Zipping up her backpack she made her way toward the main entrance where she sat down on one of the steps looking at her folder. She wondered when Ino and Hinata would show up, but was surprised when she saw Ten-ten coming her way.

"Huh you're up early, most people are only getting up now" Ten-ten said as she sat down next to the pink haired girl.

"Hmmm I'm an early riser sometimes and today was one of those days" Sakura spoke the truth but she felt far away from this place and the girl next to her.

"I see, have you been picked on by any juniors yet or?" Ten-ten didn't finish her question because Sakura shook her head 'no' but there was always today and tomorrow.

Ten-ten looked down at the sheets displayed in Sakura's folder and whistled.

"Wow advanced applied math? You must be extremely smart" Sakura blushed and denied it but Ten-ten realized that this girl did actually know her shit and that scholarship test was probably a walk in the park for her.

The two sat there and talked about different kinds of things some relevant some not but that was girl talk it involved everything and nothing at the same time. Sakura hated to admit it though, even though the itching had left the feeling of being distant had remained and sadly she knew today wouldn't be a good day.

Ino woke up to an empty dorm but was glad to see the note; she liked the way Sakura cared enough to tell her she'd left. After eating breakfast and having some coffee she grabbed her back and walked out the door. On he way she saw the one and only, Karin, Ino shivered oh God did she hate Karin. Everything about the girl annoyed Ino, her hair, her voice, her clothes, her stupid glasses, and her annoying knees, that's right the blonde hated those bony over exposed knees.

She was surrounded by her posse of copy queens who were all wearing similar hairstyles to the redhead, Ino didn't understand in a school where a uniform was required wouldn't you want to be unique as possible?. As Ino walked by she heard Karin laugh and then looked over to see the redhead sneer.

"Spot the loner" she said loud enough for other people to look.

"Well we better not take your word for it four eyes" Ino bit back, she had grown up in a household with a brother who liked exploding things and if Ino had anything it was a back bone and a temper.

She learnt from a young age how to defend herself and stand her ground so her older sibling wouldn't push her around. She fought until she had nothing left to fight with and even then Ino didn't give up, if this scrawny redheaded bitch was going to give her shit she'd make the fucker regret it.

Karin narrowed her eyes and flipped her hair. Who does she think she is? Ino asked mentally shaking her head, she knew Karin wanted to run for the board she also knew Karin had a thing for Uchiha's. She liked Sasuke a lot but like anyone if you were gonna goggle an Uchiha you might as well goggle at Itachi since it was his last year. And he had that 'older guy' thing going for him. But eh sasuke was hot but Ino saw him as a brother now and she didn't do incest.

"Whatever I don't have time for you anyways. But do tell your new friend the one with the big forehead and weird hair I said hi." Karin then marched off with her group

"You're hardly able to say weird hair without being a hypocrite" Ino muttered.

Ino let the whole charade go though as she walked towards the school building to find Sakura sitting on a step with Ten-ten laughing about something. Smiling she sat down and joined them in their conversation waiting for the doors to open.

Akane woke up this morning with a dry mouth and as she lay on her bed staring at the ceiling she sighed. She knew something was wrong with Itachi and she knew he wasn't telling her what it was and she knew she'd never be able to get it out of him. Which was unfair considering he could always get her to talk even if she swore she wouldn't with the Uchiha though you never knew what was truth and what was lies because they only showed what they wanted you to see nothing more nothing less. They never gave anything away without there being some purpose behind it. Even Sasuke was like that.

She went through her morning routine of styling her hair getting dressed applying her make up eating etc. She sat at her kitchen table alone and pondering the inner workings of her boyfriends brain. He was a genius that was a given so his thinking patterns varied from the average person. He wasn't easy to read his face rarely showed anything and she, even after all this time together, felt left in the dark when it came to Itachi. He knew loads about her and she only knew what most people did and then tiny little bits she picked up along the way. Nothing worth putting down in a book and selling for money, Itachi was unreadable, Itachi was an Uchiha.

Sighing she rested her head in her hands. What will I do? She wanted someone to step in a wave a magic wand telling her the answers and fix all her problems, but even she knew that wouldn't happen. Everything had been going so smoothly and she had been hoping that once they graduated they'd still be going out, that in college he'd propose, but sadly Akane was beginning to think she'd skipped ahead of herself. Sure they had, had problems before but this felt different, he obviously had hidden things before but most of the time they were either small or she didn't pick up on them. But this was clear it was obvious to others too, it was readable on his face. But what the problem was now that wasn't so easy to figure out she didn't know what to do. And Akane was beginning to feel the end of a relationship coming on. She wanted to deny it but she could feel it. This was different than before, he was acting different which meant it was big. She didn't know if their relationship would see it through until the end of the first semester.

She wanted to cry, but instead she got up grabbed her backpack and left.

Itachi woke up feeling stiff, those hours in the gym were kicking in now and his muscles were getting payback for the burning of last night. Itachi groaned, he never groaned, but today he groaned. The tightness of his arms, legs, abs was unbearable but he got up anyways.

By the time he was ready to leave he had gotten used to the pain that came with moving too much or too suddenly opening his door he was met by the cold calculating eyes of an infamous redhead.

"Sasori" Itachi greeted as he closed the door behind him.

Sasori nodded at the Uchiha as they walked down the stairs and out of the senior's dorm building. Itachi knew why Sasori was here but being Itachi he waited for the redhead to talk.

Sasori understanding this spoke.

"What's the matter? Yesterday in school you looked tried, you don't sleep much anyways so that was okay, but as the day went on you got more and more agitated. I don't care and I'm sure you get pissed regularly the reason I mention this is because yesterday it was noticeable. Itachi when you are involved nothing is noticeable. Then in the board room you had that look that you use when something has fucked up your plans and you don't want to be bothered. So what's wrong? Why all of a sudden aren't you hiding your emotions and don't say that you are and just because I notice things that I picked up on this because that's a lie. Because others did too, Kisame was locked by the time the day was over and he noticed."

Itachi just there wondered when was the last time he heard Sasori speak so much, then pushing that out of his head he replied.

"I am impassive by nature that does not mean I intend to be that way so clearly there will be times that sometimes that impassiveness slips. As stated by you I am not perfect I do get annoyed but since I have a control over my emotions it's not easily noticed. I was very tired yesterday and that affected my ability to control said emotions." Itachi's voice was clipped and short the voice he used when talking to people he needed to get a point across to or his younger brother.

Sasori didn't know if he felt Itachi was still annoyed because today the mask was back Itachi was calm and in control. So he figured either way he'd never know maybe the man was at turmoil inside or maybe he was as peaceful as could be. He'd never really know.

"If you say so man" Sasori popped in his one earphone and turned on the iPod as they made their way to the school, whose doors were only opening now. He caught the eye of the girl with the pink hair and nodded in a greeting. That was Deidara's sister's friend and also after remembering from the mentor choosing session, Itachi's freshman.

The pink haired girl looked around and realized he was greeting her so she smiled briefly back as she stood and walked into the school with the blonde the brunette and the black haired girls.

Ino growled.

"How come you get Itachi as a mentor and then Sasori greets you!" Sakura raised her brows in 'So what?' sort of way at the blonde.

"Itachi is an Uchiha" Sakura nodded taking this as a fair point but still giving Ino a questioning stare.

"Sasori greets no one" Sakura backed away from Ino at the dark tone the girl had used.

"Okay I'll be sure to mention next time I see him to say hi to you" Sakura stated and Ino got the point.

Sakura hadn't planned this.

It was out of her control.

Mostly.

Walking to her locker with Hinata as Ino walked away alone to hers the two girls laughed.

"She is boy obsessed" Hinata said as she twisted her locker open and Sakura nodded before going to her own.

Sakura saw a note attached to the front of her locker; the paper felt thick in an expensive way and she unfolded it carefully.

Please meet me at the end of the day

I'll be by my locker. It's in the U section upstairs.

Besides the fact that the note mentioned upstairs and U, Sakura knew after reading the first sentence that the note was from Itachi. She didn't know how she knew that but she did, she'd never seen his handwriting before but she just knew which was actually kind of creepy.

Sighing and folding the piece of paper she placed the note in her locker and shook her head, she had planned on avoiding him but there goes that plan. Sakura knew she had to meet him A) out of respect B) he was a senior and on the board if she didn't show up he could probably get someone to airlift her to him C) he was an Uchiha D) she wanted to see him.

Grabbing her stuff needed for class and closing her locker she went off to find Ino because Hinata was talking to Naruto and Sakura figured better let them get some chemistry going. Smiling she walked down to Ino.

"Stupid math, stupid biology, stupid physics" Ino muttered as she was taking books out of her locker.

Sakura smiled, for someone who was brought up in so much money Ino acted so normal. Her clothes, were designer, that was a given but Sakura could relate to Ino in a way she figured she wouldn't be able to with anyone here. Ino didn't flash her money at people through fancy cars are diamond encrusted everything. No Ino was clean cut normal, she wore the expensive clothes but she acted like everything she wore was from target. Sakura liked that about Ino she saw more to life than money she understood that money didn't mean everything. Judging by Ino Sakura figured her family would be just as humble.

"Hey Ino, what's up with Hinata and Naruto are they like a thing?" Sakura asked as she leaned against the locker next to the blonde's

Ino looked up her eyes gleaming. Sakura knew this would be a long answer.

"Well she likes him and he likes her but its like he won't ask her because he's afraid of Neji-"

By the time she had finished they were on their way to class.

So Hinata and Naruto liked one another, but Hinata's family was a very posh and well to do where as Naruto had money because his father used to be a rich business man but he'd died. So Naruto was brought up in a one parent family (His mom) and the money their dad had left for them was still is plentiful supply. Hinata's parents wanted her to be with someone who was well to do but also cam from a good background, Sakura though that was kind of mean considering Naruto was so sweet. And the way the looked at each other told Sakura Hinata figured the same, but apparently Hinata's dad you just didn't mess with so this looked like 'Forbidden love' thing.

"And that's the answer" Ino finished as she pulled her fingers through her bangs readjusting them.

"Well see you in English Ino" Sakura waved as she walked off.

Ino did ordinary math, Hinata did honors and Sakura being brilliant at math did advanced. So none of them shared the same math class even Sasuke was in a different advanced math class so she was all alone. Walking inside she took her seat sighing and resting her head on her notebook she closed her eyes.

Sakura didn't know what to expect at the end of the day, she didn't want to know how he knew that she would know the note was from him. Breathing deeply she tried to clear her mind; silence fell over the classroom as a teacher walked in.

This teacher was different from the math teacher they'd had yesterday, but Sakura shrugged it off maybe in advanced math the teachers changed.

English didn't come soon enough in Sakura's eyes and when she walked into the classroom to see Ino and co. Messing about she smiled, for once she was happy to be inside a classroom, she was smart but she didn't love school. School was full of stereotyping people but this time round Sakura had friends and that made all the difference.

Shikamaru lifted his head slightly and nodded in a greeting Sakura smiled and waved, all her morning classes had been tiring but this was the last class before lunch and Sakura was thankful. Even though she had gotten her first 'A' today she didn't feel too good, she figured she was going to have to contact her mother to get her to contact her doctor because the medication was helping but she could still feel it. The itching was back and in math she found it very hard to pay attention.

Sitting down next to Ino she grinned. Ino quirked and eyebrow and Sakura darted her eyes in Shikamaru's direction, Ino went beetroot fast than you could say 'Crush much?' Sakura laughed and patted Ino's hand. The blonde looked so embarrassed but in an I'm 'In love' sort of way not an 'I'm wearing a white shirt and fell into a pool' sort of way.

After doing what the teacher asked them to, the group began chatting about different things and the girls decided to go to the mall over the weekend.

"That'll be fun" Hinata agreed "We should invite Ten-ten" Ino nodded and took out her phone and texted Tenten.

To: Tenten

Hey! We've decided we're going to the mall this weekend. You in?

From: Ino

Text sent

Ino put away her phone and joined in the conversation but as she was doing so she noticed Sakura's eyes were dimmer than usual and she was twitching her right arm and fingers ever so slightly like it was itchy or something. Shaking it off Ino began explaining her view point on the topic at hand.

The end of the day came and Sakura found herself to be more uptight than one should be at this time. But one wasn't meeting Uchiha Itachi she was and normal rules didn't apply.

Tenten had confirmed that she'd be going to the mall over the weekend with them. Sakura looked forward to doing that but firstly she had to go to her locker get her homework books, mentally prepare herself for this meeting, go to the senior locker area and find out what he wanted.

She had told Ino about the note and she muttered stuff like 'Lucky pink haired friend psh' and then got a dreamy look in her eyes. Sakura sighed and left the blonde to it. Grabbing her notebook and shoving it in her book bag she closed the locker and went back upstairs.

'A'

Well she needed to get to 'U' so she kept walking, when she got to the 'K' section she saw her, the girl who had been with Itachi. His girlfriend.

Huh so her last name begins with K Sakura thought as she walked by, the girl was gorgeous her big brown eyes were full of expression as she listened to what the girl infront of her had to say.

Sakura sighed when she reached 'U' she couldn't see him yet but that didn't mean he wasn't there. Maybe he was talking to somebody so she'd just casually wait around by the wall where the 'U' section began until he came. She heard other people but none of them came into the 'U' section people whose lockers were located there looked at her funny but didn't say anything, to them she probably was just another fan girl.

"Sakura"

She flinched, he was behind her, how did he get there without her hearing anything. Taking a silent deep breath she spun around to face him, his black eyes were watching her closely but he had obviously taken a step back after saying her name because there was about a three quarters of a meter between them. She looked back at him her gaze hard and steady, she would not get pathetic here, she would not go mushy, she would keep this the way it was meant to be, business like, he had a girlfriend and he didn't want her she would not get hurt because she mixed up her feelings with the truth.

"I hope this wasn't an inconvenience" Itachi's voice was factual but it wasn't cold. He used a cold factual voice yesterday today it was warm and she liked the warm one a lot better.

That was Itachi short and sweet and not even elaborating what he was talking about. Even though she knew what he meant she found it strange that the Uchiha's just didn't talk much.

"Well it's not exactly a convenience, but who am I to turn down an Uchiha?" She hadn't planned to be that business like. Her voice was cold and hard and almost bitter.

Itachi took in her sentence and looked like he was thinking through every aspect of it, all it was, was one little sentence! Then his eyes light up for a brief second like he was extremely amused.

"You are so polite I'm flattered." His eyes were now dancing with amusement and Sakura felt like scowling.

But she couldn't because one thing was going through her head, is Uchiha Itachi joking with me? She raised a pink eyebrow and pushed her bangs off her face, a movement he didn't miss.

"Good. Now what's up?" She liked her tone better here, it was more casual but still indifferent, removed.

"This isn't the most (Pause) ideal place to discuss it." His voice was a lot softer now and it was quiet, she figured even if he tried he wouldn't have it in him to shout, not that he'd ever need to.

"Then where is the most (Pause) ideal place to discuss it, Uchiha-sama" she practically purred his name she was feeling snappy and hey he was the only person around.

His eyes light up again, she hated the way that made her stomach flip. He just watched her for a moment, then his lips twitched and he shook his head tsk-ing at her.

"Please, follow me" he walked off in the opposite direction (She noticed) than that of his girlfriend's locker.

Following Uchiha Itachi wasn't hard, people cleared the way for him and he walked at a slow easy pace. Everyone looked at him then at her some shocked some angry and some jealous. Sakura sighed and shook her head mumbling on about 'Silly little brain washed drones' what she didn' notice was the way the man infront of her was smirking at her comment.

She followed him outside until they were sitting down at one of the benches. Itachi pulled his phone out of his pocket and clicked the buttons really fast obviously replying to a text message, the neatly put it back into his pocket and looked at Sakura. Noticing now in the day light the dark circles forming under her eyes, the way her actual eyes were dimmed and how she kept twitching her right arm.

"Are you alright?" His voice wasn't curious, it was serious and that made her feel weird. This version of serious in anyone else's voice would sound like, well, worry.

Sakura looked down at her arm noticing the twitching and she ceased it. Her arm was perfectly still then looking up at him she smiled.

"Yeah, I'm just, twitchy I have a lot of homework" her voice was smooth and Sakura had said the lie before she even considered it.

Itachi looked at her for a while longer and proceeded like they hadn't just had that conversation.

"Yesterday I was called to the office" Itachi stated.

Not catching on Sakura felt the need to be sarcastic –Hey when in Rome and all that-

"That's great!" her voice was dripping with sarcasm as she smiled at him.

He just stared blankly at her as if to say 'I don't show emotion so why try to see if I will' Sakura sighed and gestured for him to continue.

"They explained that a package had arrived for you but the sender had insisted it be left at the office until you came and personally picked it up."

Sakura didn't understand why he was telling her this.

"They contacted me because apparently when they tried to reach you they couldn't" Itachi's voice ended in a tone that was used when asking question.

Sakura nodded and sighed.

"I better go get that package" she stood up but then realized she didn't know where the office was "Ah um Itachi?"

He was already walking towards the school building and she cursed him for his smartness then ran to catch up with him.

"Any idea why they have to get you to collect it personally?" Itachi didn't sound like he cared but she brushed that off.

"Oh hey! Maybe it's my bomb building kit I've been waiting for, for months!"

He snorted

"No would have been a good answer to Sakura"

She closed her eyes and smiled

"But that wouldn't be fun now would it Uchiha-sama"

He looked at her and shook his head then continued to make his way to the office.

Itachi admitted it internally; Haruno Sakura was somebody he wanted to get to know a lot better.

Itachi had waited patiently by the wall as Sakura talked to the woman behind the desk, who happily handed over the package smiling at Sakura.

The package was small but it still looked very official, the item was obviously light because Sakura had no problem carrying it. That wasn't why Itachi was curious as to what was inside; it was Sakura's expression as she held the package that made him want to see what was inside. She looked like someone had told her, her mother had died. Walking slowly and carefully staring down at the package she sighed. Who knew such a small package could contain so much doom.

Sakura didn't mind the package too much but what it reminded her of. Inside that package was the next supply of her pills and probably a note from her doctor. She knew the pills would help her but what they were helping her from was what was getting her down. It all seemed just like yesterday she still remembered the pain of it all.

Sakura sat alone on the kitchen floor hugging herself,

Her eyelashes were clumped together from crying so much,

And her cheeks burned from the constant tears.

Her green eyes were closed as she relaxed into the bliss of what she'd done.

Everytime she looked around she saw different ways to do it.

So much blood.

But it helped her, it made it better.

The darkness went away when she did it.

Sakura shivered at that memory, it had been years ago but it seemed only like a couple of days. She twitched her right arm and felt the itching, the itching that was always followed by disaster. She needed to contact her doctor and explain the itching had come back, stronger, and the medication wasn't fully numbing it anymore. The medication dosage needed to be altered again, meaning she'd need more of it than before, Sakura hated admitting weakness. She didn't want to tell the doctor anything.

She almost forgot where she was and how she got there until she looked up dazed to meet coal black eyes. She shivered again but for a different reason. His presence made her feel so small and pathetic. Shaking her head internally she bared her teeth in what she hoped was a reassuring smile.

"Thank you for telling me this was here"

She noticed how his eyes looked at the package and then at her, she had the feeling that her smile didn't fool him. But he didn't ask and she didn't tell. She, for once, was glad for his silence.

They walked in silence, as the sky turned to a pinky colour, they stopped outside the freshmen's dorm building and she met Itachi's eyes.

The dimming light made him look even more attractive, his black hair was sleek and shiny, his dark eyes scanning the landscape behind her. A leaf couldn't fall that he wouldn't know about. As she admired his strong muscular build, the straight line of his jaw she noticed something, something that would slip past other people's gazes. His eyes were slightly more hooded than usual (Or what she had seen of them) the black in them was dulling and seemed far away. The dark circles forming under his eyes, as the pale skin looked slightly greyer. A few more nights of not sleeping and those circles would be visible, it was clear he hadn't slept much or he wasn't sleeping well.

He had opened his mouth to talk but she got there first.

"You should go, thank you for informing me about the delivery I appreciate it. You look exhausted go get some rest."

Those words sat between them as he looked at her. He wasn't sure if he liked the fact that she knew he was tired or the fact that she was dismissing him. He closed his eyes for a split second then reopened them meeting her green ones. They also looked dimmed and extremely far away. He watched how her right arm did that twitching that it had done earlier

He nodded and leaned closer to her keeping her eye contact as he brushed a few stray strands of pink hair off her face.

"Try stay out of trouble" he whispered into her ear and then without looking back he left.

Sakura stood alone staring after him she could still smell him and feel his knuckles grazing her cheek. She shivered as she walked inside secretly hoping he'd come back. She didn't trust herself alone tonight it had been a long time since that happened.

He didn't.

Stay out of trouble.

That kept repeating in her head, if only he knew she thought bitterly using her key to open her dorm door.

Itachi had gone back to his dorm feeling tired. He knew he wouldn't sleep, like his father he battled with insomnia, some nights he'd sleep well but wake up and others he couldn't sleep at all. He'd learnt to function on little to no sleep.

As he sat waiting for his laptop to come on he closed his eyes, the smell of strawberries filled his senses and he for once allowed himself to indulge into the smell. The memory of the smell, the real thing was more concentrated and it surrounded a pink haired freshman.

After all his time with Akane she still couldn't pick up when he was lying about being tired or if he really was. Itachi was constantly tired from years of suffering with insomnia but there were nights when it was very bad. Even then she didn't notice. But Sakura did, oh Sakura noticed. She told him to go to bed to 'go get some rest'.

He felt like laughing at the silly request he would if he could but he can't so he won't. He opened his eyes to the sound of the laptop starting up. He typed in his details and then forgot exactly why he had turned on the computer.

Sakura walked into an empty dorm room thinking Ino must have gone out. Sakura feeling exhausted went to the fridge grabbed a sandwich and went to her room where she sat on her bed.

Taking a bite into the sandwich she opened the package, she saw what she had expected to see. The next supply of her pills, but that wasn't what interested her it was the note attached signed by her doctor.

Sakura,

I have been assured this package will reach you,

As you can clearly see there isn't enough for a full month

There is a reason for this and it being I need to see you soon.

It's been a while since we checked up on how you are

And how the medicine is working and I fear that

Maybe it will begin to loose its effect.

I have informed your mother of this worry

And we have arranged for you to come see me this weekend

I'm sorry for any inconvenience caused but it is for

Your well being.

Doctor Kobayashi

Sakura sighed, she knew she needed this check up she knew the medicine was loosing its effect she knew all of this yet she still didn't want to go. She was going to miss the shopping trip and that bugged her but she really didn't want to be with her doctor who could pick at her brain and find reasons for things, reasons that made Sakura a lot different from your average teenager.

Putting the note safely back in the package and then storing that package in her closet Sakura lay down on her bed. Closing her eyes she tried to calm down to meditate but it was useless. She found herself yearning for company she needed someone to distract her to comfort her. That was why she was hoping Itachi would come back, the way he didn't. Sakura didn't trust herself alone and it wasn't too long before she proved herself right. Tonight, she shouldn't be alone because she was in that state of mind.

Sakura's awareness, like always began to fall and she soon found herself unable to recall why she wanted to be with people, like another person had taken over her head Sakura couldn't think in straight sentences all she could think of was words, actions. Sakura found herself forgetting why she needed to be careful and why she shouldn't trust herself. As if she was being controlled Sakura got up and went to a box she brought everywhere with her.

Searching through it she took out letters and photos and stones from when she was younger, she rooted looking for it. Panic washed over her when she couldn't locate it, it was always here in this box where no one else could find it. Unless her mother found the box and removed it, about to scream Sakura's hands encountered something cold and smooth. Rubbing her thumb over it she sighed as the stinging rushed to her finger, withdrawing her thumb and it she smiled at the line of crimson on her thumb. There in the palm of her hand was one of her most sacred possessions; something that always brought her comfort, there in the centre of her palm was a shard of broken glass from a long gone mirror.

Some part of Sakura's mind was screaming at her to stop that they could fight this, this was exactly why she needed that check up this was why she needed to drop the glass and leave that room. But Sakura barely heard it because the rest of her mind was focusing on what this shard brought, on what it had done in the past for her. She smiled a smile that didn't suit her features, it was tight and it didn't reach her eyes. It held pain and sorrow and something very, very dark something that said 'You really don't know who I am'

The shard was between her thumb and index finger they way one would hold a pen and Sakura felt the anticipation bubbling in every inch of her body as she dragged the shard over the soft flesh of her arm, it stung and tiny beads of crimson appeared contrasting with the pale ivory skin but with that pain came it. The bliss, the magic, the infallible relief everything good in Sakura's mind came with that crimson line on her arm.

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

That line now had five friends to keep it company her arm was stinging as the blood from each cut was mingling with the others, they weren't deep but they looked nasty. The skin around the cuts was red and inflamed but her arm was used to this, she could see beneath the cuts the whiter skin of scars, scars that came from previous cuts, cuts that became addictive.

Sakura was completely out of it as she stared at her arm, the way the red dried to form a rusty brownish colour, her right arm as it placed the shard in the box stopped twitching. It need it had felt for a while had been satisfied and as comfort washed through Sakura so did shock, the box was securely in her closet by the time she sat back down on her bed.

Her usual self now back in control was horrified, she thought she was fending it off well and here it was back again ready waiting and as strong as ever. She shivered though she wasn't cold; she was scared oh very, very scared. This happened before and she remembered all to well where it led her, she didn't want to go back there but clearly she wasn't the one in control.

Sakura realized that part of her had done this a part of her that was strong enough for her not to be able to shut it out, these cuts didn't come from the 4.0 Sakura no they came from some other deeper darker person that the medication was supposed to have locked up. But clearly didn't that check up was badly needed and as Sakura tried to imagine herself telling the doctor about this lapse of control and the cutting she heard it.

That cold cruel voice that developed back then. The voice that was supposed to be gone

Don't tell her anything, it'll be our little secret. Why tell the doctor? You've got it under control, don't you? Unless, you feel you don't have control.

Sakura straightened her spine without thinking and hissed aloud.

"I do have control"

If anything scared Sakura it was lack of control that was on her medical records, her doctor knew that. Lack of control was her weak point she needed to be in control.

Well then if you are in control, why tell the doctor she'll only think you aren't and put you on more medication. You know you're in control of this.

Sakura knew 'this' was the cutting she had just done, it definitely wasn't severe compared to cutting she'd done previously but it was still cutting. It was still something she had done without really realizing it and that scared her that made her question her mental stability and questioning your mental health is never a good sign.

Sakura nodded without thinking, as if the voice could see her, to show she too agreed that telling the doctor wasn't the best idea. And without realizing it Sakura again let some other part of her take control.

Walking to the bathroom she carefully used a ball of cotton wool to wash off the dried blood then continued to wrap her arm, it now stung from being irritated by the water but Sakura ignored it.

She ignored everything, the way she had let something else take control, the way her phone was glowing showing someone had texted her, Sakura turned off her light and went to bed ignoring her state of mind and her life.

That night she had several nightmares, some more severe than the others. Her arm throughout the night stung but she never woke, she didn't even make a sound.

A/N:

YAY 17 pages I'm on a roll with this! Anywhom, wow this chapter was a lot more, well, gloomy then planned but I guess I gotta go where the wind takes me. Now lets see, clearly Sakura has more of a past than we know of (Well you know of) and obviously there are parts of her mind that are deeply unexplored.

This chapter contained a lot of Sakura which may bother some of you but sorry she is the main character! I like playing around with her character and I like giving her this kinda dark history it takes away from what a lot of other people do with her which normally is light and fluffy. Normally she'd be poor and smart and go to an expensive school were everything goes brilliantly for her and a hot guy would sweep her off her feet but I want some change. Some resistance in her path on life and I hope the material chosen does the job. If you're curious about her and are trying to think up possible solutions to suit her situation then I have done my job!

Sorry for any OOC-ness in this chapter but it is as stated before very hard to keep Itachi in character so just gimme a break.

R&R!!