Protect Me by Nehan Shinzui
A/N: Alright! Tryna update these as quickly as possible! Go MGMT and Evans Blue! Those bands rock. Dude, I am like totally obsessed with Spartacus now and as soon as I get Internet I've gotta watch like every ep if I can. Seriously guys watch it. Omg, I'm in like love with Chevelle. I heart the leadsinger dude's voice! But Anyway--about this chapter. So like since I'm double updating faster, the chaps may lack a little substance. BUT, every incident holds some importance, alright. Since I'm a little too sentimental, I always have to explore someone's back story. Expect a longish winding flashback sequences. Lol, thus the title. I felt like I hadn't explained enough of Ben and Cash's past in earlier chapters so I decided to explore that concept in the Final Hours. It's kind of an interlude, I suppose. (shrugs) Er, this chapter is patially based on the song Blue by Serj Tankian. I think. Well, anyway it's a great song, listen to it!
Chapter Twelve: Interlude: Flasbacks
Cash was eight years old. The boy he was watching had to be six or seven. He had to be--he was so much smaller than him. Or maybe Cash was just too big. Add that to the list of the things that was wrong with him. He was supposed to be waiting on the porch. But he didn't care. Ma would be very angry if she noticed that he hadn't followed orders. Most likely she wouldn't though; she was deeply immersed in "grown-up stuff." He was glad his mother chose not to include him in this evening's activities. For now. Anyway, back to the boy he was watching. The shrubbery slightly obscured his vision, but he could see the boy kick a firm black and white ball around. He wanted to reach out and touch the boy's hair. It looked so soft, the chestnut-brown locks(omg, I may vomit) glimmered in the sunlight. Cash sighed. The boy stopped for a moment and Cash panicked. Fearing he'd been seen, he scuttled backwards, the shrubbery rustling loudly, nettles scratching his arms. The result was him being left fully exposed, the younger boy watching the darker one shift awkwardly from side to side. The boy goggled him for a moment as Cash felt his entire face glow a cherry red. The boy smiled at him, revealing a missing tooth. He raised a hand to Cash, then ran inside. He came back a few moments later wearing a warm fur-lined jacket that exacerbated the thin, holey clothing Cash was wearing. So this was what other kids got called in for. Cash pondered that in wonder. The boy he coveted, grinned at him again, filling with an unfamiliar sensation. Cash grinned back. And it felt good.
"Hi," the boy said with a slight lisp. "My name's Ben Tennyson."
Ben didn't act scared of him, didn't seem disgusted at his prescence. Other children seemed to grow afraid of him the moment he came into view, but Ben just beamed that pure smile of his. Cash thought that was his favorite feature about him. Well, one of his favorites anyway. Cash loved his laugh too. And his mischeivous sense of his hair. And his eyes. He really, really loved those eyes. They sparkled like his mother's fake emeralds were supposed to. Everyday almost, he would make sure to avoid his mother's clutches to go and visit the younger boy. Somedays, when he was too tired and sore to do anything, he'd simply lounge around and watch Ben play with his little ball. Cash tried to play soccer with him a few times-mainly because Ben liked the sport so much-but he was too awkward too gawky, tall and gangly for his age, clumsy. The darker couldn't stand the laughter his mistakes earned him, even though he knew they were innocent, mindless outbursts of giggling. He was too used to lecherous, cruel laughter to entirely enjoy Ben's amusement at those times. Cash really did like it when he could make Ben happy though and that's what made things difficult for him.
"Look what I got you today, Ben!" Cash proclaimed, holding up a fistful of bright yellow flowers. Tulips, maybe. He snatched them from some neighbor woman's lawn. He gave the boy a breif, odd hug proffering the gift again. Ben gave a weak grin.
"These are flowers, Cash." the boy said.
"Yeah--so what?" Cash snapped, his voice a little rougher than he intended. In the past year or so since they'd first met, he'd become more easily embarassed. And he disliked it. The fucking cunt should just appreciate how much trouble Cash could get in for getting the damn things for him!
Ben, oblivious to the other's tone, giggled and said, "Flowers are for girls! Ahahahaha! You give flowers to girls you like, silly." Cash flushed.
"What would you know about it, Tennyson?" he scoffed, crossing his arms. Ben paused and thought about that, pulling his lip with one delicate finger.
"Well, grampa Max said he got gramma some when he first met her."
"Pssht. You don't give women flowers. You give them dick."
This earned Cash a puzzled look. "What's...dick?" the future hero asked. The older one sighed; sometimes he felt like he had to explain everything.
"Dick is the thing you piss out of, but you can fuck with it too. You do a lot of fucking with it."
"Fucking?" he was queried, the word sounding nice and harmless in Ben's mouth.
"fucking is something you do when you really like someone or they're body or somethin'. You put yer dick in someone's butt. My mom gets it done to her all the time. She's prolly gettin' it done to 'er now."
Ben giggled again. "You shove it up her butt? That's gross!" Cash had to laugh at the way the boy described it, even though he didn't think the situation was all that funny when he thought about it.
"Yeah, but you give girls flowers still. Girls you like." This frustrated Cash to no end. He shoved the little boy to the ground. The seven-year old scraped his knee on the hard pavement and began to cry. As Ben continued to cry and sniffle, Cash grew a bit...apprehensive. Part of him wanted to bolt as fast as he could in the opposite direction and forget this even happened. Another part of him wanted to kick Ben in frustration. And still another part of him wanted to reach down and hold the smaller boy and comfort him. He did the latter.
"I'm sorry Ben." he almost whispered. He reached out a tentative hand and his friend accepted a pat on the back. "It's just I do like you. More than I'd like any girl anyway."
Ben sniffled, wiping his nose. He relented a soft laugh. "Girls have cooties," came the reply. That set them both into quiet laughter as Cash continued to rub the other boy's back. They were quiet for a while. Then Cash, driven by mad impulse, grabbed a fistful of Ben's hair and pressed his lips to the other boy's mouth. Ben, speechless, blushed and avoided eye contact. The darker boy smiled at him and they sat like that until called Ben inside.
"Cash!" his mother called. "Cash! Cash!" The boy could hear his mother slamming open cabinets in the kitchen as he squatted in the corner of the closet under the stairs. He curled himself into as tight a ball as he could. He wished he wasn't so tall sometimes. "Cash, Ma needs ya to do some work for her!" More slamming of doors. "Come out here you fucking bastard, 'e ain't gonna wait all day!" Cash began to rock slowly back and forth. Ma finally seemed to finally remember which room was his. He heard his door slam open and his mother tossing things over. He willed tears not to fall down his face. His breathing became unsettled and he began to rock faster, his fingers biting into his dry skin. Ma kicked open the door to the closet rather suddenly, and Cash let out a cry of fear. Tina's bony arms became like vicegrips as she snatched him up by his arms. The boy writhed and tried to struggle but his mother's arm struck out across his face connecting with his nose and drawing blood. She had to twist Cash's arm behind his back and grab onto his hair, holding him hogtied-like and drag him out of the room. When she got to the living room and Cash saw how large the man was, the fight went out of him. Ma set him on the ground before the client and let out an exasperated sigh.
"Well, I hope you like 'em feisty." she said with a sardonic chuckle. "But it took a while so pay up."
The man ignored his mother's snide comment and reached out a hand to brush some of Cash's hair out of his eyes. The boy cringed. "Awww," the man smirked. "He ain't so bad."
"I'm gonna make you my wife!" Cash announced one evening when the two were at the park together. It was a phrase he'd heard one of the Men use when he was pleased with his mother. Ben cocked his head at him. He rested his head on the new soccer ball Cash had managed to steal from the local little league soccer team. He'd told Ben he'd gotten it from his mother for his birthday.
"But aren't boys supposed to marry girls?" Ben asked curiously.
"Well, that doesn't matter. Marriage happens when you really like someone and want to protect them. So best friends should be able to get married too. So that's what we're gonna do buddy."
"I guess so. But are'ntya 'posed to have a ring?" Ben pulled at his hair.
"Ha! I''ve been planning this for a while now so...." Here, Cash reached into his pocket and pulled out a small false emerald ring. He shuffled his feet nervously as Ben looked on in mild puzzlement. " I filched the emerald thing from my mom's drawer and glued it to some tinfoil I rolled up so it sorta sucks but...um..it matches your eyes." There was a silence in which Cash began to grow paranoid about whether Ben liked it or not. Then he heard Ben laugh and his heart melted.(puke)
"Oh, I really like it Cash--thank you so much!" Tennyson bounced to his feet, wrapping his arms around the other boy, his face buried in his midriff. Cash almost cried he was so happy.
Cash's fists pounded the smaller boy into the ground, sweat pouring down his face.
"Stop it!" Ben shouted behind him. "You're hurting him!"
"That's the point!" Cash barked back over his shoulder. The boy was pinned underneath his body, reduced to strangled sobs from Cash's relentless punching."He tried to give you a wedgie!"
Ben, terrified, ran towards the two and had to literally drag Cash off of the other boy. The boy got up and bolted, yelping over his shoulder,"I'm telling my moooooooooooommmmm!"
"Yeah, so what?!" Cash retorted at his retreating form and shook his fist in the air. "You better not ever touch my wife again!" he added angrily. The tall boy turned towards Ben who was shaking. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"
Ben gave him a scowl then shoved him, causing the other boy to stumble slightly. "You can't do stuff like that! You can't just go around beating people up! It's not nice!" Cash gave him an incredulous look.
"Who cares if it was nice or not? He tried to hurt you." the darker one insisted. "And I'm your husband! I couldn't let him do that."
Ben rolled his eyes at that."Well, you hit me once and it really hurt!"
Cash smirked and put his arm around him. "Yeah, but only I can do that."
"Wher've you been?" Ben rolled his eyes at the question, having been only about ten minutes late to their appointed meeting.
"Mom made me eat lunch before coming to the park. And my cousin Gwen almost got to come." he shuddered at this. Cash's eyes narrowed at the mention of the girl. He'd never liked her. He declined comment on it however and simply motioned for Ben to come over by the trees where they'd be mostly hidden. He wasted no time in wrapping his arms around the now-ten year old.
"Are you ready, Ben?"
Ben nodded; he was eager to see what the tongue kissing part of marriage was like. He was starting to dislike the many other forms of this so-called game, but a lot of the older kids bragged about French kissing, Cash being one of them, and he was ready to learn this art from the "Master". Accepting the boy's consent, Cash descended upon him. He forced the future hero's mouth open with his tounge, excavating. Ben, through lack of air clutched onto Cash's shirt leaning into him. This caused Cash to grow aggressive grabbing a fistful of Ben's hair and pressed their lips together harder. He wrapped his other arm tightly around the smaller boy's waist. Instinctively, his hormones guiding him, Cash slowly began to grind against the boy in his grip.
Ben eventually had to pull back because he'd begun to lose oxygen. For a moment, both boys simply stood there in a silence punctuated only by their ragged breathing. "Wow," Ben finally commented. Cash laughed.
"Just wait till we get to the fucking part." he'd said.
They never did get to the"fucking" part. (not consensually anyway) That was the year Ben went to visit his grandpa Max over the summer. And Cash couldn't go.
"You can't just leave me here by myself all summer!" Cash had protested, his heartbreak and therefore rage growing. "You're supposed to be with me! Always, remember?"
"Well, there's always school time!" Ben tried to reason. "And you and I are going to be in the same class this year too. So staying back wasn't such a bad thing." He smiled, but it wasn't because they would be in the same class--not entirely, no. It was because Ben would rather spend time with that fucking old man and with that bitch cousin of his than with his friend. That's how Cash saw it and he said as much. Before Ben could so much as protest, Cash had decked him in the mouth, drawing blood. The smaller boy crumpled to the ground and Cash pounced on him grinding his face into the ground. His rage sudden and violent, he began screaming into the other's ear, things that made no sense.
"I'm your husband, I'm the only one 'sposed to make you happy!"
Ben rolled over and ran away, frantic.
There was no place for apologies, remorse. Ben had brought it on himself. He was never supposed to leave him, never supposed to put anyone before him. Cash had followed those rules. He always would. He hadn't been able see his friend one-on-one the entire first week of school. Watching him now, he came to a decision. Ben needed to be punished for his betrayal.
"Hey, Tennyson!" he shouted from his corner of the cafeteria. The boy turned around and a wad of food landed smack dab in the middle of his face.
This is how it has to be from now on," Cash thinks. I'm the only one that can be accountable for the way Ben feels.
"No matter how much it pains me to see him hurt."
A/N;Thank you for bearing through this chapter. I've hit a short wall so I decide to delve into the kids' origins. So now you know why Cash is so angry at everyone Ben talks to. The shit's really gonna hit the fan next chapter. Please review! With love,
Nehan Shinzui