Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or The Fairly OddParents. They belong to those that created them.

Fairy Godparents for Ranma

Episode 5: Being unpopular is not easy

Featuring ... Ranma, Cosmo, Wanda, Genma, Soun, Cologne, Mousse, Nabiki,...

Ranma came back from school and went straight to the guest room where his fairies were.

Ranma simply laid down on the ground and did nothing but rest a bit if he was lucky for a few minutes. "Hi, Cosmo, Wanda."

Cosmo and Wanda appeared over Ranma. They chorused. "Hi Ranma! How was your day?"

"Normal. School bored the hell outta me and there were fights again." Ranma continued. "Really! Why are all the fights always around or about me?"

Cosmo replied. "You are popular. Even more than Rock who reminds me of someone."

"That's a rock with a pink cap."

Cosmo talked with the rock. "Sorry, we have to part ways now. Ranma is much more popular. I want to be with Ranma all the time now." An 'Ahem' reminded Cosmo that he had a wife. "But I want to be with you, Wanda, more than all the time." Then Cosmo threw the rock out of the window and the rock hit someone.

"Ow! Ranma, you are going to pay for that!"

Ranma shivered. The rock hit Nabiki and she was going to cause great problems. He knew it. "Euh, back to the topic: the fights. Any ideas about that?"

Wanda voiced her opinion. "I think you should sort the fights first. Fights about who is going to marry, the fights with your rivals, fights caused by your father, challengers of the dojo and other fights."

"I guess that makes sense. Though nearly all fights have somethin' to do with oyaji. What's your opin..." Ranma stopped. Did he really want Cosmo's opinion? "Wanda, I think we should start with the fiancée stuff. Okay, I wish my fiancées didn't love me." Then a known, thick book fell on Ranma.

Wanda quoted a sentence from the 'Da Rules' book. "True love cannot be broken by fairy magic." Then the 'Da Rules' book disappeared.

"Another try, I wish my fiancées didn't like me." The 'Da Rules' book fell on Ranma again. "I guess that's too similar." A few seconds later, Ranma came up with another wish. "I wish I was the most unpopular person in Nerima."

"I don't think that's a good ..."

"Okay." Cosmo lifted up his wand. The wand began to glow and the wish was granted.

There was a large cloud with the word: UNPOPULAR

A few seconds later

Ranma was lying on the ground. "Hm. Nothing seems to have changed." There was silence. "Euh, Cosmo, Wanda." Ranma stood up and searched in the guest room. "I wonder where they are. Maybe it's because of the wish." Then Ranma grimaced. His fairy godparents probably didn't like him anymore. "That would be bad."

Ranma left the room. He went down the stairs. Ranma looked to the side where he saw his father and Soun playing shogi. While they played, they talked about him and the agreement.

Genma sighed. "Why do I have such an ungrat- , I mean unpopular boy? None of your daughters will want to marry him."

"I know. He is unfortunately your only son. Hey, I have an idea. You could adopt someone and make him your heir."

In Ranma's head, the alarm bells were ringing loudly. Those two idiots were already thinking of replacing him. Ranma had to find Cosmo and Wanda fast.

On a roof

Ranma ran fast. He needed to find his fairy godparents soon before more bad things happene. Then he noticed two amazons.

Cologne and Mousse were standing on a roof a few meters away. While Cologne had a serious face, Mousse's face was a bit red.

"What do you want?"

Colgne spoke calmly. "We want to end the chase now, Ranma. We want to return to China and never see you again, Ranma."

"Ranma and no son-in-law? This is serious but how do they want end it?" "How do you want to end it?"

Cologne explained. "You know the tribe wants to become stronger. For that we need strong genetic material. You are a strong male. So we need your genetic material, too, even if we don't like you."

"Um, what does that mean exactly?"

Cologne didn't answer the question at first. "Mousse."

When Cologne said that, the face of Mousse became a lot redder. "Why do I have to use the hidden weapons technique this way? At least, it's better than what awaits Ranma." Mousse opened his robe.

Cologne grabbed a few things. She took some normal things for what she was about to do. She also took something that looked like a baseball bat. "Since he seems to like Akane, a blunt instrument of punishment, too." Then Cologne anwered to Ranma's first question.

"We want your sperm!"

"My what? Yo-you mean!" Ranma shivered and his face became green. "Cologne, a 300-year-old woman wants to ... with me?" Then he looked at her hands. There were handcuffs, condoms, a whip, a baseball bat and many other things Ranma didn't recognize. Ranma's face took on a more sick tone of green. He really didn't want to imagine what she wanted to do with all that stuff. There was one thought that dominated everything in Ranma's mind.

"FLEE AS FAST AS YOU CAN FROM THAT MADWOMAN!"

There was one thing though that Ranma wondered while Ranma fled from Cologne. "Why the baseball bat?"

At the sidelines, Happosai watched the whole scene. He was a bit jealous. Cologne had never wanted his sperm as much as Ranma's.

Many hours later

Ranma was completely exhausted. Luckily, Cologne had only had him nearly two times but Ranma could always escape. At the moment, he couldn't move his legs. That could be because he had run like never before or because Cologne managed to hit Ranma a few times with the whip or because Ranma had handcuffs on his legs. You can decide. After having managed to evade his third major mental trauma after the Nekoken and Jusenkyo, Ranma didn't know where he was and it so fucking didn't matter. Away from Cologne was fine. Ranma wanted to fall asleep right where he was but he stopped by a sprinkler. The cold water turned him into a girl again. The cold water also kept him awake.

Ranma stood up and fell on the ground. She couldn't walk one bit with her legs. Those last kilometers were run only with the power of fear. In that moment, a greater force made itself known. It was the power of hunger. Ranma couldn't walk on her legs anymore but with the power of hunger came not wisdom but creativity.

Ranma did a handstand and walked home on her hands. On the way, Ranma had lots of time to think of how to unwish her wish. Cosmo and Wanda didn't want to be with her now. It got easier to think with each minute she walked on her hands. Unknown to her, blood flowed down to the part of body that had been neglected for many, many years: her brain.

"Okay, now! Think! Think! Think!" There was the noise in Ranma's head when Jimmy Neutron thought. The first image that came to her was Cologne. Ranma wanted to move to the next picture but then Cologne began to undress. Ranma tried to look away (pretty useless in your mind) but she couldn't.

"Cologne stop! Don't continue! Don't undress! Stop Imaginating Stuff! Stop! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Ranma fell on her back and looked up at the sky that became darker.

After a few minutes, Ranma got up again and walked on her hands. "Come on brain! Think again! Think again! But not of Cologne!" There was that noise again. This time there was an image with Cosmo and Rock.

Cosmo talked with the rock. "Sorry, we have to part ways now. Ranma is much more popular. I want to be with Ranma all the time now."

"Brain Blast!" Ranma mumbled. "Why did I say that?" Ranma raised her voice again. "Anyway, I have a plan."

At the Tendo dojo

When Ranma arrived at the dojo, she saw that yellow taxi. There was fairy in the taxi.

"Hello! Could I ask you something?"

"Fine."

"Why are you here?"

"I'm here to take your fairy godparents to the fairy world again. They don't want to be with you and neither do I."

It was as bad as Ranma thought it would be. Then Cosmo and Wanda appeared with bags in their hands. They went to the taxi and wanted to get in but Ranma stopped them.

"Please don't leave! You are the best friends I've ever had except for ..." Ranma thought about his other friends. " ... no, there are no exceptions. I really suck at making new friends."

"Stop bothering us with your words. You stand no chance against Rock and nothing could ever change that fact."

"I won't let you go. You are two of my most important persons in my life."

Wanda was annoyed. "Just go away."

"No! I won't leave! Not until you grant me one last wish as my fairy godparents."

Wanda really wanted to get away from Ranma. "Okay, but do it quickly."

"I wish that everything is like before, that I'm popular, that people like me again and that Cologne isn't after my sperm any more, at least not the way she used today." Ranma shivered again at the end.

Wanda quickly granted the wish. Then the fairy taxi drove away.

Ranma looked at the taxi. She hoped that it would stop but it simply drove away. Ranma slumped her shoulders. She slowly entered the house. Ranma smelled the delicious food. She simply walked to her room. She didn't have much hunger any more. Ranma opened the door.

There was a banner with the words '1 WEEK WITH FAIRY GODPARENTS'. Directly under the banner floated Cosmo and Wanda. Between them was a chocolate cake that didn't interest Ranma much ... at least at the moment.

"Cosmo! Wanda! You are back!" Ranma ran over to them and hugged them.

"We have a cake for you. Congrulations, Ranma, you have kept us for one week so far."

Cosmo added. "And you have only nearly lost us once."

"It's not something that special."

"That isn't important. It's time for PARTY!"

A hi-fi system, food, drinks and party guests appeared in the room.

Akane, Nabiki, Soun and Genma were having dinner. Kasumi had to make dinner for Ranma. She couldn't believe that she didn't cook for him, too. All of them heard loud music coming from above from the guest room.

Nabiki volunteered to go to Ranma. She felt that there was something big going on around Ranma.

Ranma felt that Nabiki came to the guest room.

"Cosmo! Wanda! I wish the hi-fi system, the party guests, the drinks and the food were gone ... and that really good chocolate cake, too." Ranma said that last bit with some regret.

A few seconds later, everything disappeared in a cloud.

Ranma leaned against the wall and put on a fake smile. He greeted Nabiki when she entered. "Hi! Nabiki! What's goin on? I have nothing to hide or so."

"We have dinner and I know that you hide something. Is it in the pink wardrobe or in the green night table?"

"Euh ... hey, I didn't notice it was dinner."

Nabiki's eyes narrowed. "Your stomach works better than any clock." Then she opened the pink wardrobe but there was nothing in there. "Then it's the green one." Nabiki opened all drawers of the night table. She put one hand in a drawer and felt if something was wrong about the drawer.

"Haha! I'm ticklish."

Ranma made a bad imitation of Cosmo's voice. "Haha! I'm ticklish."

"I know when something is wrong and I practically smell secrets and I know you have a big one. I'll be watching you." Nabiki left the room. "Your next weeks will be hell. I'll find out your big secret, Ranma. I leave for now but I'll return."

"That was one stressful day! I think I'm gonna do nothing now, then eat and then do nothing."

"Okay! You can do that while I eat some Japanese ramen made by Cologne!" Cosmo lifted up his wand and a bowl of ramen appeared in Cosmo's hands. "A really nice, old woman but not as nice or old you, Wanda."

"Awww ... hey!"

While Cosmo ate ramen and Wanda was angry at Cosmo for calling her old, Ranma just wanted not to be reminded of Cologne. Ranma put a pillow over his head and didn't want to hear Cosmo's slurping.

Moral of the episode: Three nearly got caughts make one really not caught, but two mental traumas and one bad experience are still very negative.

Now some omakes (my first ones)

Genma, Soun and Ranma were in the Tendo Dojo. Genma and Soun stood in front of a curtain. Ranma sat opposite to them.

Soun stepped forward. "You know we don't like you as the heir of Anything Goes. That's whyyyyy ..." Soun went back to the curtain and opened it with Genma. "... we have searched for another one."

Ranma stood up. "That's Mousse!"

"Yes! I will learn Anything Goes! I will learn everything about your style! I will find out the weaknesses of your style and beat you so that I can be with Shampoo! Nothing and nobody will be able to stop me! Mwuhahahaha!"

"That's the right attitude!"

The speech would have been more impressive if Mousse had talked to Ranma and not to one of the walls, but Ranma couldn't care less. He turned towards his father. "Did you hear that? He only wants to know the weaknesses!"

"No, he wants to learn everything, the weaknesses too, to be with Shampoo. Well, we have to work on the last bit, but we did it!" Genma began to cry.

Soun began to cry. "Yes, Genma."

Behind Genma and Soun appeared a sunset and you could hear wave sounds.

"Soun." "Genma." Then they hugged each other.

Mousse and Ranma slowly stepped a few many steps quickly away from the pair. That image was going to be clearly in their heads for a very long. Even Mousse's bad eyesight couldn't help him.

The idiot brothers in heart (also known as Soun and Genma) stood in front of a curtain. Ranma sat opposite to them.

Soun stepped forward. "You know we don't like you as the heir of Anything Goes. That's whyyyyy ..." Soun went back to the curtain and opened it with Genma. "... we have searched for another one."

Ranma stood up. "That's a man in a cat costume."

"I'm Catman and I want to learn to fight the evil." Then Adam West disguised as Catman began make cat noises and cleaned his arm like arm like a cat would with his tongue.

Ranma slowly stepped away. "This man is no c-cat. No cat! Only disguised as one! NO CAT! NO CAT AROUND! Mrrreow!"

"Wow! That was a good imitation!" Ranma's posture shifted to that of a cat. Ranma slowly stalked over to Catman. "Finally someone like me! Do you want to be friends?" Ki blades appeared on Ranma's hands. "I guess that's a no."

In less than five seconds, Catman was beaten.

"I guess we have to find a new heir."

"I think you are right, Genma."

Ranma meowed angrily.

Genma and Soun made the Crouch of the Proud Tiger. "We are sorry! We are sorry! You are our heir! You are our heir!"

Neko-Ranma extended his ki blades a bit which made the idiot brothers shiver. Then Neko-Ranma decided to play a bit more with those whims.

"We are sorry! We are sorry!" Yeah, that was music in Neko-Ranma's ears.

Ranma felt that Nabiki came to the guest room.

"Cosmo! Wanda! I wish the hi-fi system, the party guests, the drinks and the food were gone ... except for the cake."

A few seconds later, everything disappeared in a cloud except for the cake.

Ranma quickly changed the message, put the cake in a certain piece of furniture and leaned against the wall and put on a fake smile. He greeted Nabiki when she entered. "Hi! Nabiki! What's goin on? I have nothing to hide or so."

"We have dinner and I know that you hide something. Is it in the pink wardrobe or in the green night table?"

"Euh ... hey, I didn't notice it was dinner." Nabiki's eyes narrowed. "Your stomach works better than any clock." Then she opened the pink wardrobe but there was nothing in there. "Then it's the green one." Nabiki opened one of the drawers and pulled the cake out. "Aha! A chocolate cake! My favorite sort of cake! Hmm, there is something written on it. WE IT FAIR ARE?" Nabiki had to decide her next course of action now. "That must be a message of some sort. I need to decipher that code." Nabiki quietly left the room with the cake.

Ranma stood in the guest room with a irritated expression. "The chaos here must have killed her brain cells, too." Then he noticed that the cake was gone. "Dammit! She took the cake!"

Ranma quickly left the guest room. He went to Nabiki's room and knocked at the door.

The door opened. Nabiki showed the empty plate the cake stood on in Ranma's hands. "Thanks for the cake. It was really good." Then she closed the door.

Ranma stood at Nabiki's door. He looked at the completely clean plate. "She didn't decipher anything. She only ate the cake."

The door opened again. "The cake said it wasn't meant for you. Oh, and could you bring the plate to kitchen? There is some food, too."

Ranma grumbled. "It's not fair. The cake was for me. We it fair are. My ass."

A.N.

Episode 5 is done. If you are wondering why it's ep 5, well obviously the episodes 3 and 4 are not going that well. I got pretty much worked up on those episodes, especially ep 3, so I simply moved on to ep 5. I'm really glad that I made that fanfic only as a compilation of single episodes and not a story where one chapter is based on the next one. In my only real story that's exactly the problem. I'm very far ahead with my thoughts so that I forget the beginning sometimes or don't like to write the beginning of my story.

I hope you enjoyed this episode and the omakes because there are still 9 episodes, the continuation of episode 2 and a 'how Ranma got his fairy godparents' special. There could also be two alternate versions of this episode. After all, I left the fiancées out and in school, there is also a lot to write I think. The reason I haven't added that stuff is because I rather want to keep the episodes short.

Anyway, I think I rambled enough.