Welcome to Hogwarts

Co-written by Hayya3 and P.E.E.V.S.Y.

Please proceed with caution:

We are not responsible for injuries caused by falling down plot holes.

Chapter 4: Consulting the Master

A week later, Scorpius and Kilee were done with their detentions. They were in the library doing their homework when Albus walked up to them. He looked around shiftily, sat down and raised a book up to block his, Scorpius's and Kilee's faces from view. Kilee and Scorpius both leaned in, curious.

"I have received intelligence that Rose Weasley is going to attack us next month. She's planning on gluing all of us together by the hands and then throwing us in the lake," Albus told them.

"But I can't swim!" Kilee hissed, turning white.

"She's going to kill us!" Scorpius exclaimed angrily.

Albus rolled his eye, "I know! How're we gonna stop her?"

Kilee grinned evilly and said, "We need to begin Operation: Which, not Witch!"

"Huh?" Scorpius asked.

"What I think she means is that we need to get her before she can get us!" said Albus.

"Sure," Kilee agreed with a nod. There was a small pause.

"Great. Now what are we doing?" Scorpius asked with a nod.

"We need to consult…the Master," said Albus.

Kilee gasped, and then said, "Wait, who's the Master?"

Albus rolled his eyes, "Teddy Lupin, of course!"

"Ohh…" Kilee said and then paused, "Who's that?"

"He's only the most celebrated prankster since the Marauders were at Hogwarts.. there are even rumors that he's descended from one," said Scorpius.

Albus snorted, "He is you bird brain! And…" Albus gave a very evil grin, "He's also my god-brother."

"You're related to God?!?" asked Kilee.

Albus groaned, "Just come on. I'll write a letter to Teddy and hopefully he'll be able to meet with us."

So the three friends went to send their letter, which read the following;

(A/N: Underlined is crossed out)

Dear Teddy,

Hey, it's Al. Me and two friends Two friends and I have a problem. Some psycho person's going to tie us together and throw us in the lake. We need help. Any suggestions?

From Albus, with corrections by Kilee and zero input from the unhelpful Scorpius.

P.S. Is it true Al's related to God?

See I helped! –S.

"Now all we have to do is wait," said Albus, watching the owl fly away.

And they did wait. And they waited and waited. Finally, the night before Rose was to kill them, Teddy's head appeared in the common room while Scorpius and Albus were desperately trying to finish an essay for tomorrow.

"It's about time!" said Albus as he knelt down to talk to Teddy.

"You should feel lucky I even showed. Vic was convinced you guys enchanted Flitwick and hurt James," Teddy said severely, "You're just lucky that I know Rose better then Victoire does. Rose is the psycho, isn't she?"

"Yup," said Scorpius.

"Let's get down to business. Harry's been in and out of here all night at random, I've no idea why, but if he catches me, we're all dead," said Teddy.

"Right. Well, then let's hurry it up. What do we do?" Albus asked urgently.

Teddy was about to begin before he frowned, "Where's your friend Kilee?"

"Another house. So?" Scorpius urged.

"Rose is terrorizing another house too?" Asked Teddy.

"Two houses actually," Said Scorpius, not seeing Albus's frantic motions to stop, "She's in Slytherin."

Albus groaned while Teddy jumped, "WHAT?" He shouted.

"Keep it down," Albus implored, "or else…"

Professor Vector walked in with a yawn. He gasped in shock when he saw Albus and Scorpius crowded in front of the fireplace talking to Teddy Lupin, his least favorite student of all time.

"Crud," Albus muttered.

"Her hair!" Teddy hissed before disappearing.

"What?" asked Scorpius, but it was no use; the Master had left.

In the end, the only things that the meeting had done were confused Scorpius and Albus as well as earn them another week's worth of detention. Morning soon came and they were without a plan. But Kilee Finnegan was not. After hearing about the meeting and the only advice given, she laughed gleefully and ran off to the library. Albus and Scorpius headed off to class very slowly, jumping at every noise.

But nothing happened until after class when Kilee reappeared clutching a book called: The Runespore and Other Snakes: Charms, Guides, Enchantments, and Jinxes.

"I've got it!" Kilee announced as they hurried off to class under cover of their classmates.

"What are we going to do?" Said Albus.

"We," Kilee announced proudly, "Are going to turn Rose Charity Catherine Molly Weasley's hair into snakes that speak English and criticize everything she does!" Kilee could barely contain her excitement.

"That's brilliant!" Said Scorpius, "How do we do it?"

"Well," Kilee said, flipping though the book and pointing at the page, "We ambush her, Albus says this spell, Scorpius does this spell, and I do this spell. Then, we run like mad."

"Sounds good," said Albus as he copied down the spells, "We attack after Herbology!"