Gus winced as he pressed the call button on his phone.
"Shawn, if you're using Gus' phone so that I'll pick up, don't think it'll put me in a better mood than if you'd manned up and used your own phone in the first place." Henry's voice came floating out of Gus' earpiece after the third ring.
"Mr. Spencer, it's me, Gus."
"Gus? Why are you calling me? Did something happen to Shawn?" Henry's voice went from annoyed to serious. The last time Gus had called him, Shawn had been shot and kidnapped.
"Nothing happened to Shawn, other than that he's at home sick," Gus assured him. "Lassiter wants me to stage a fake crime scene to train one of the rookie cops, and I was hoping you could help me out with it. I still haven't figured out the culprit in the muffin robbery when Shawn and I were five."
Henry laughed. "It was obviously the baker; that's what the flour dusting all over the counter was from. Where is this crime scene supposed to be?"
Gus gulped. He knew Henry wasn't going to like the next suggestion.
"We were kind of hoping it could be at your house," Gus braced himself for the response, which he knew would be negative.
"My house. Are you crazy, Gus? Do you know how long it takes to get fingerprint powder out of fabric? I'll tell you, weeks - sometimes longer. I've still got uniforms with print powder along the collar. What about the Psych office?"
"No, it can't be a business; it has to be a residential place." Gus quickly thought up an excuse why it couldn't be the office. He knew that if they used the office, there would be a lot more explaining to do to the reporters.
"What about your apartment?" Henry suggested.
Gus groaned. His apartment was the one place Shawn hadn't managed to use in a case yet and now it was going to be invaded by reporters, cops, and worst of all Henry.
"Yeah, I suppose..." Gus trailed off.
"Good, I'll meet you there this afternoon."
"It has to be now, Lassiter forgot to tell me about it, and it needs to be ready as soon as possible," Gus fibbed again. He was so glad this conversation was over the phone and not in person. Henry Spencer could spot a liar from a mile away, which was a good thing when Shawn was his son, but not so great when Gus needed his help.
Henry sighed before speaking again "All right. Fine. I'll meet you over there in fifteen minutes."
"Thanks," Gus acknowledged before the other man ended the call.
Gus didn't see Henry's truck when he got back to his apartment, so he decided to go inside and make sure his apartment was somewhat clean before everyone came tramping through. He opened the door and jumped in surprise when he saw Henry sitting at the kitchen counter.
"How did you get in here?" Gus slowly shut the door behind him.
Henry shrugged, "Your hide-a-key. The fake plant was a dead give-away, but at least it wasn't anything as obvious as a fake rock."
"So," Gus cleared his throat. "Are we going to make a crime scene or what?"
"What kind of crime scene does Lassiter want?" Henry started surveying Gus' apartment. His years as a police detective had trained him to observe every place which he found himself. "We could stage a murder," he said thoughtfully, still looking around the room.
"No, no murders." Gus held out his hands. "Lassiter just wants a simple robbery."
Henry started walking around the room. "A simple B&E, that's going to be easy enough." He shoved the neat stack of magazines off Gus' coffee table.
"What are you doing?" Gus protested as Henry started turning furniture on its side.
Henry looked up from where he was tossing pillows and cushions around the room. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm making a crime scene."
"With my grandparents' coffee table?"
"Relax, it isn't like I'm going to throw it across the room. Here, tear this up and start making confetti." Henry handed Gus several copies of Pharmaceuticals Monthly. "You know what the great thing about magazines at a crime scene is? They're a good place to look for the owner's name. It's on every copy."
"That doesn't mean I want them all over the floor! I still need these for work!" Gus' voice was rising in volume and pitch as Henry turned his tidy apartment into a jumbled mess. When a crash came from corner, he looked over worriedly. "What was that?"
"Don't worry about it, Gus. Lightbulbs aren't that expensive," Henry assured him, looking up from the lamp he had just deposited on the ground. He brushed his hands off, surveying the room with a critical eye. "I think that should do it. Do you need me around when the training exercise takes place?"
Gus shook his head. "No, I think we're good. Thanks."
"Just make sure Lassiter gives you a little bit more warning next time." Henry grumbled. "Remind Shawn he owes me for this too." With that Henry headed down to his car. Gus waited until Henry was out of sight and then gathered up every magazine and piece of mail in his apartment. He didn't need the reporters to see his name all over them. Gus gave a sigh of relief when that was finished and then headed for his own car. He didn't have very much time to teach McNab how to be Shawn.
He made sure to hide his magazines in the bathroom before leaving, though. There was no way he was going to let the reporters in that particular room.
hcyspsych
"How are you guys going to make me a psychic?" McNab looked around at the front of the Psych office. Gus wasn't there yet, so the three of them were waiting outside. Lassiter had refused to go in despite the fact that the door was unlocked.
"Well, Gus knows Shawn better than any of us." Juliet shifted from foot to foot impatiently. "I'm sure he'll be able to give you some tips."
"Besides," Lassiter snapped, "we aren't taking you to an actual crime scene. Spencer's father set up a crime scene for you to 'divine' clues from." O'Hara opened her mouth to remind her partner to lay off the sarcasm when talking to the reporters but was interrupted by Gus's arrival.
She turned to him. "Did you get everything set?"
Gus nodded. "Nothing much; just a simple B&E is what Shawn's dad called it."
"Good, now let's get McNab schooled in how to be an insufferable know-it-all and walk him through the crime scene." Lassiter followed Gus into the office. "Do you even actually clean this place?" To Lassiter it looked exactly the same as it had when he'd been there during the Chavez case. There were empty take-out containers stacked up near the trash can. Magazines and DVD cases littered the coffee table.
"Trust me, I try," Gus assured him. "But I don't live here like some other people."
"We probably should clean it up a little bit if the reporters are coming over here," O'Hara decided as she picked her way through the trash and random items.
"Well, if this is how Spencer likes it, we should leave everything alone, besides I'm not going to be Spencer's housekeeper." Lassiter said, the disdain evident in his voice as he moved a pizza box in an attempt to find a place to sit.
"I didn't say we should make it spotless, just so that we can actually move around in here." Juliet started stacking magazines. "Why do you guys subscribe to Rabbit Fancy?" She held up a magazine with a fluffy white rabbit on the cover.
Gus grabbed it away from her, quickly burying it face-down in another pile. "There's nothing wrong with two grown men loving bunnies and their soft adorable faces. People say our intense love of bunnies is creepy at our age, but history will prove-"
"That they're absolutely correct," Lassiter finished. "Can we focus on what's important here?"
After five minutes, Juliet was finally satisfied with the level of cleanliness in the office. "All right," she said, surveying the room with her hands on her hips. "Gus, why don't you get started on showing McNab a few things?"
Gus nodded and stood in front of McNab. "The first thing Shawn does at a crime scene is try to get a feel for the aura of the room." Gus knew he would have to be careful explaining Shawn's process to the cops. They couldn't know that it was actually an act.
"Right." McNab nodded. "I've seen him do it a few times." The rookie cop stood up and put his fingers to his temples. "I can sense there's someone in the room who doesn't like psychics," he intoned in a distant-sounding voice.
Lassiter snorted in laughter from where he was perched on the edge of Gus' desk. "Try to come up with something more creative, McNab."
"I don't know who you're referring to," McNab said in the same voice. "My name is Shawn Spencer, head psychic for the Santa Barbara Police Department."
Juliet bit back a laugh at the indignant look on Lassiter's face when McNab talked back to him.
"Right," Gus nodded in approval at McNab's performance. "The second thing Shawn does is try to see if the spirits are speaking to him through anything in the room. You remember the cat from the suicide case."
McNab nodded, "Little Boy Cat, but what if there aren't any pets in the room?"
"Then he moves on to inanimate objects. Sometimes a photograph on the wall will give him something. It varies from case to case."
"Like the poster of that missing hiker!" O'Hara chimed in excitedly.
Lassiter rolled his eyes. "The third thing that Spencer does is spastically dance around the room and invade people's personal space."
"Carlton, be nice," Juliet reminded him again.
"I'm just telling the truth. I thought the chief wanted this to be as accurate as possible."
"If we're being accurate, I guess we'll need to tell them about the fact that tap dancing clears your head and the fact that you used to figure skate," O'Hara returned.
"Hey, this article isn't about me," Lassiter protested. "Besides, Spencer wasn't supposed to tell you about that." He trailed off and crossed his arms. "Let's focus on walking through the robbery scene. Guster, what will we be looking at?"
Gus pulled out his cell phone. "We used my apartment. I took some pictures." He showed them several shots of his apartment's living room and kitchen.
Lassiter studied the pictures, "The culprit entered through the front door. Probably used a key. Do you have a hide-a-key outside?" He didn't wait for Gus to answer and continued. "Living room is a disaster, tables turned over, desk ransacked. Did they take anything?"
"This wasn't actually a robbery." Juliet pointed out. "There isn't actually a culprit."
Lassiter scowled. "I know that." He cleared his throat. "I'm simply giving McNab observations to use when we get there." The four of them froze when they heard a knock on the door.
"The reporters," Gus whispered.
"They're a little early," McNab whispered back.
"Why are we whispering?" Juliet whispered.
Lassiter rolled his eyes and went to answer the door. When he opened it, he was surprised to see two girls he really didn't think would even be out of college, let alone work for such a distinguished magazine as Back Up. The one with a camera case slung over her shoulder held out a hand.
"Hello, my name is Catie Emerson. This is Savannah Raymond, and we're with Back Up magazine. We're here to speak with Mr. Shawn Spencer."
Lassiter frowned slightly. With the reputation of the department, he would have thought the magazine would have at least taken the time to send an experienced reporter. The girls in front of him were dressed ... well they were dressed like Spencer. They were wearing jeans, t-shirts with words and silly pictures on them, as well as brightly-colored tennis shoes. Lassiter shook the girl's hand.
"Head Detective Carlton Lassiter, SBPD." He motioned for them to follow him inside. While he had been answering the door, O'Hara had managed to clean a little bit more. "That's my partner, Detective Juliet O'Hara." The two reporters shook hands with Juliet.
"Nice to meet you both," she acknowledged.
Buzz stepped forward to shake hands as well. "Hello, my name is Shawn Spencer; this is my associate Burton Guster." He motioned to Gus.
Gus smiled. "I'm gonna have to hang out with you guys more often," he muttered.
"Catie Emerson," the one girl said, shaking hands. She reached up to play with a lock of hair as Gus shook hands with Savannah.
Juliet narrowed her eyes and touched Buzz's sleeve. Making sure the reporters were distracted by Gus, she whispered in his ear. "The camera girl just got a hair cut; she keeps playing with her hair like she isn't used to it."
Buzz nodded in acknowledgement. "Your new hair cut looks nice," he commented, smiling at Catie. Both girls' eyes went wide.
"Th-thanks," Catie stammered. "I've read about your psychic powers before, but that was pretty cool."
Savannah grinned. "Can you do a read off of me?"
Lassiter gave O'Hara a slightly panicked look. The hair had been one thing, but there were no obvious give-aways about the reporter. She shook her head at him and shot Gus a glance to see if he had picked up on anything. From the freaked out look in Gus' eyes, it didn't take a psychic to see that he had nothing.
"Well, I just hope you had fun at your reunion last week." McNab smiled. "USC is a good school."
Five pairs of eyebrows rose as Savannah nodded, returning the smile. "Why yes, I did! And it is a great school."
"What kind of article do you plan on writing?" Juliet changed the subject before the girls could ask McNab anymore questions. Savannah shrugged.
"We were just going to ask you some questions, all of you. We want to get a feel for what a day in the life of a police psychic feels like. If there's a crime scene we could visit, that would be awesome."
"There's no way I am letting two more civilians into one of my crime scenes," Lassiter grumbled.
"Unless it's something like a robbery," Juliet gave Lassiter a pointed look.
Savannah wrinkled her nose "Ew. Yeah, no murder scenes or anything."
Catie nodded in agreement. "Just act natural and do your normal routine at the scene. We'll snap a few pictures, and it'll be the best article you guys have ever seen," she assured them.
"You don't mind if we ask you a few questions now, do you?" Savannah asked.
"Go right ahead," Gus replied. He lead the reporter to his desk, and he pulled a chair over for her. Giving Savannah a smile he asked, "Have you heard about Pluto? That's messed up."
Lassiter rolled his eyes and snorted, earning himself an admonishing look and a elbow to his ribs from his partner.
"Pluto? Uh, I suppose it is." Savannah said confusedly as she took a seat. She pulled a small recording device out of her purse set it on the desk. She started with the set of questions she had written in her notebook. "Good afternoon, Mr. Guster."
"Please, call me Gus."
"Alright, Gus I'm here from Back Up: New Innovations in a Timeless Profession. I was hoping you could tell me what it's like to be an assistant to a police psychic."
Gus chuckled, "Actually, I'm Shawn's partner. We've been friends since we were little. And being his partner is probably not quite what most people would think."
With a nod, Savannah replied, "It's not very clear-cut. What does an assist - sorry, partner - do for a psychic investigator?"
"Well, sometimes I'm the only one who can interpret his visions, so I accompany him to most crime scenes. And I keep up with the administrative side of things around here; I'm the organized one," Gus told her, knowing that girls tended to value organization.
McNab strolled over to Gus' desk. "I'm just not organized because I don't have to be with all this psychic-ness inside me. You try being organized when you have to deal with spirits constantly pointing you toward crime scenes and potential murderers."
As Savannah turned to Buzz, Gus shot him a look of slight disbelief. His tone was even similar to Shawn's!
"I was looking over your record and it says you've solved over fifty cases," Savannah commented, clearly impressed with Shawn's track record. "How did you get involved with the police department?"
Lassiter stood up from where he had been sitting on Spencer's desk. "I think I should answer that question. Before he became a paid consultant by the department, Mr. Spencer would call in leads on cases. We contacted him when we realized he had been consistently right about everything that he was telling us."
"You left out the part where you tried to arrest him," Gus put in.
"I didn't actually get to arrest him," Lassiter pointed out, glaring at Gus.
"No, but you did bring me in for questioning," Buzz pointed out. "Don't let it get you down, though, Lassie. I would have doubted the guy who always solved my cases, too."
O'Hara had to grab Lassiter's arm to keep her partner from having to answer the reporter's questions of why he discharged his weapon into the rookie cop while he was pretending to be a psychic. Lassiter satisfied himself with scowling fiercely at McNab.
"So..." Juliet tried to break the awkward tension in the room as Lassiter continued to glare at McNab.
The ringing of a cell phone cut through the office. It kept ringing until Juliet nudged her partner. Lassiter snapped out of his intense glare and grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket. His face went confused as he looked at the caller ID, but he answered it anyway.
"Carlton Lassiter." He excused himself and stepped out the door to take the call. Juliet saw Gus tuck his phone back into his pocket; he caught her watching him and gave her a wink.
Savannah didn't seem perturbed by Lassiter's sudden exit and just kept moving through her questions. "I guess this brings me to my next question. Are there ever times you and the department don't see eye to eye?"
McNab chuckled. "There are. Sometimes the spirits are just too far ahead of what mere mortals can comprehend."
Gus shot him a slightly amused look. McNab's portrayal of his best friend made Shawn out to be spacier than normal.
Turning to Juliet, Savannah continued. "Does that ever interfere in investigations?"
"It has gotten frustrating once or twice," Juliet admitted and then weighed the rest of her response carefully, "but we try not to let it get in the way of our work. Generally, we are able to follow up on the clues Shawn gives us."
Before the reporter could ask any further questions, Lassiter reentered the room. He gave Gus a slightly annoyed look, but McNab interrupted him before he could lecture Gus on what constituted as improper use of a cell phone.
"What was that about, Lassie? Didn't you tell the department you'd be busy with the reporters all morning?"
Lassiter frowned slightly, then gritting his teeth, he nodded. "Right. I did, but there's a case that they need us on. There's been a break-in at an apartment."
"I'm sure the chief would be more than happy to let Savannah and Catie come with us to the crime scene. Since it is just a burglary," Juliet pointed out, hoping the whole scenario didn't seem too convenient to the reporters.
Catie checked her camera and nodded in agreement. "That would be awesome. We would be able to get some pictures of the psychic in action." Savannah nodded in agreement.
"Perfect," McNab clapped his hands. "Gus why don't you ride over to crime scene with Catie and Savannah? I'll ride with Lassie and Jules and make sure I get my crime scene spirits aligned." McNab's smile faltered as he glanced at Gus to see if he was overstepping his boundaries while pretending to be Shawn.
"I think that's a great idea," Lassiter forced out. He reached for the collar of McNab's polo, ended up grabbing the back of it, and half-dragged him towards the door. "We'll talk about the crime scene." Juliet started to follow them out.
"Wait, don't you need to know where the crime scene is?" Catie looked over at Gus.
"Oh, right. Normally I'm with Shawn, so he already knows where to go," Gus made up, covering their near-mistake.
The girls nodded. "That makes sense," Catie agreed.
Juliet scribbled Gus' address on a Post-It and gave it to the three of them. "We'll see you guys over there." With that she headed out the door to make sure that Lassiter hadn't shot McNab.