A\N: As I was listening to the song, "Sympathy" I was sort of thinking of ideas for fan fiction. Then, I listened more closely to the lyrics; I realized it fits rather well with Jacob's situation before Breaking Dawn. Anyway, the song lyrics will be in italics. Also, I've had this up before, but I found a large amount of mistakes, so I have reposted it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, or the song "Sympathy." They both belong to their respective owners, which I am not.
Stranger than your sympathy
And this is my apology
When Bella chose the leech over me, she wore the most sympathetic, pitying expression. She felt sorry for me. Sorry that she didn't choose me, but not sorry that she had chosen him. I guess I should be the one to apologize. I'm not and never was good enough for her. If I had been, she wouldn't have given herself to that stupid bloodsucker.
I killed myself from the inside out
And all my fears have pushed you out
She always told me she would never be able to love me as anything more than friend, but I was dumb enough to not listen to her. I skipped on ahead, fell in love with her, and in the end killed myself from the inside out. If I hadn't been so horrible to the vamp and a bit more polite, would she have chosen me instead?
And I wished for things that I don't need
(all I wanted)
And what I chased won't set me free
(all I wanted)
And I get scared but I'm not crawlin' on my knees
I didn't need Bella to complete me. I could have been fine by myself if I hadn't chased after her and made my heart believe she was all I needed. Bella was all I wanted. She couldn't seem to let me go, set me free. I'm pretty sure it would have been better if she had just given me a clean break. During the whole of the time the leech and I competed for her affections, I was scared. I was more frightened than I had ever been of anything, but I could never let my weakness show.
Oh, yeah
Everything's all wrong, yeah
Everything's all wrong, yeah
Where the hell did I think I was?
When she chose that freaking bloodsucker over me, nothing was right. Nothing went my way. I lost her and then everything fell apart. Why didn't she just choose me? I was the healthy choice! I was always there for her unlike that disgusting parasite! Where did she think I was? Rio? The place her precious bloodsucker was while she wasted away to nothing?
And stranger than your sympathy
Take these things, so I don't feel
I'm killing myself from the inside out
And now my head's been filled with doubt
Bella can keep my damn heart. I don't need it. I wish I could sink into a dark freaking abyss instead of feeling this pain that is killing me from the inside out. How will I ever love anyone like I loved her? I will never love again.
We're taught to lead the life you choose
(all I wanted)
You know your love's run out on you
(all I wanted)
And you can't see when all your dreams aren't coming true
I guess I'll just lead the life Bella chose for me. She should have known all that would become of me is a robotic, patrolling machine. If she had just picked me over the stupid leech I could have been something good instead of the bitter shifting wolf I am. He ran out on her for crying out loud! How does she know he won't do it again? Why can't she see that I'm the one she needs! Bella told me that all she dreams of his happiness. Doesn't she know that her dreams will never come true with him?
Oh, yeah
It's easy to forget, yeah
When you choke on the regrets, yeah
Who the hell did I think I was?
I guess it's easy to forget since she obviously doesn't seem to remember that there is a heartbroken guy still pining for her. I wonder how long it will be until she regrets what she has chosen? When it happens I will be gone. I'm not her freaking lap dog that she can use as she pleases. Who the hell does she think I am?
And stranger than your sympathy
And all these thoughts you stole from me
And I'm not sure where I belong
And no where's home and no more wrong
Bella stole my heart, feelings, and all hope of love I could ever have. Wherever she is, is where I belong. But, she's with those filthy leeches. I don't belong with them. I don't know where I belong anymore! I don't have anywhere to go. I don't think I can suffer worse than I am.
And I was in love with things I tried to make you believe I was
And I wouldn't be the one to kneel before the dreams I wanted
And all the dark and all the lies were all the empty things disguised as me
I loved the way I was with her. It was like I was a better version of myself. Before, if I wanted something and couldn't get it I wouldn't care. Now I would do anything for her, to make her love me. Her love for the bloodsucker isn't real! She loved me! Why could she just freaking see that?
Mmm, yeah
Stranger than your sympathy
Stranger than your sympathy
Mmm hmmm mmm
Guess what, Bells? I don't need your sympathy!
But, the pathetic thing is if I were able to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing.
A\N: Please review!