Complete Combustion

VIII. Logos

"I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, `because I'm not myself, you see."

-Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Caroll

"Anyway... See you." Slam.

Completely in a trance, Kyle turned his back to the door, which Cartman had exited through two seconds ago. Why the hell had he just said that?

Kyle couldn't grasp the sense of the words he'd just heard. He was... free. In a way, at least. And then again, not really, because Cartman would expect him to come back.

He started cleaning the pictures on the walls, without paying attention to where he put the cleaning cloth at all. The scene from two minutes ago replayed itself over and over again in Kyles head, and raised more questions than answers.

"Forget it, Cartman. You are not making me clean the latrines in Block 13!"

"Watch me" the superior boy replied maliciously, with the characteristic trace of a smirk pulling at one corner of his mouth.

"No way in hell I'm doing it. I don't care if you are an officer, I refuse to clean the latrines!"

"I was just kidding Kahl." The Jew looked up from his domestic work to realize Cartman was right. He was moving in on Kyle now, slowly wrapping his arms around his shoulders to cark him. Kyle fought against the paralysing effect, the embrace always had on him. "I wouldn't want my colleagues to get the pleasure of annoying the hell out of you." His voice cam out muffled and husky against Kyles neck. "You see, only I can do that."

"What is so special about Block 13 anyway?" Kyle wanted to know. "You seem to have taken a liking to it." That was an implication. Kyle had remarked Cartman studying a certain map several times. Cartman had handed it to Kyle without hesitation, providing him with the knowledge that it was an accurate memorandum of Block 11, marking some areas to be renovated.

"Sure." Cartman said cheerfully. "I like starvation- and standing cells. Oh, and the dark rooms are great too. You should visit some time."

Kyle was taken a back. This was the first time Cartman had consented to give him the answers he needed about Auschwitz. Maybe he was tired from the fucking Kyle senseless and therefore careless, so this could be an extraordinary time to grill him.

"Starvations cells... is that as sick as it sounds?" Kyle raised his eyebrows, and pushed Cartman off him, to resume his cleaning.

"Sick like you wouldn't imagine, Jewboy." Cartman taunted. Kyle could practically hear the gleeful laughter in Cartmans head."People scratch their final prayers on the walls with blood. But we only put the law-breakers in there."

The harsh truth hit him in the chest like an iceball. It was unbelievable how nonchalant Cartman could be about something like this. It was absurd, but Kyle forced his face to remain blasé. "What kind of lawbreakers?"

"Mainly exiles and runaways. Basically people who try to go against the us in smaller or larger scale. But I don't really feel like going into details. Besides, what would a stupid Jew like you know about running a labour camp."

"More than a stupid Nazi knows about giving head." Teasing Cartman was a lot of fun. He offered Cartman a self-satisfied smirk. In your face.

"That's not what you said yesterday smartass." Cartman remained unaffected by the insult.

"You didn't give me head yesterday, smartass. You received head." Kyle shook his head at Cartman little mistake.

"Bite me." Cartman said.

"I don't eat pig."

Cartmans defiant façade broke into a broad grin. "Touché."

Kyle felt a warm feeling inside, all of a sudden. A strange pride for making Cartman laugh sincerely. Not just about torturing or annoying Kyle, but about a joke that was on himself. The feeling was mixed with another feeling of precariousness. "Runaways". That was the category he would be thrown in, if he attempted to escape.

Cartman turned to leave. He was dressed in his grey-green uniform, with the black leather boots and eagle belt, looking really hot. Kyle was guilt-ridden from having those thoughts about something he ought to despise, and did despise, whenever it wasn't worn by Cartman.

"Oh and by the way, Kahl, you can go outside if you want. You look like a corpse, and I'm no necrophiliac. The sun misses you."

Kyle was completely and one hundred percent dumbstruck. A lavine of thoughts tumbled through his head, and burried him. What Cartman just said, went completely against his dominating, controlling sadistic self, and Kyle had never ever thought he would ever utter words like those he had just said. With a feeling of total disbelief he used his last brain capacity to close his gaping mouth, and snap out of the state of incredulity he was trapped in.

He didn't even notice Cartman approching him, before he found himself holding a piece of paper in his hand, and caught the last bit of Cartmans words.
"...wrote this so you can pass through the camp without being suspected for escaping. You are privileged. It has my signature."

Kyle looked at the piece of paper in his hand. The scribbling was brief yet the message was clear.

This Jew is employed by E. Cartman, and must be permitted to pass freely through the camps.

Signed by: Eric Cartman

"You better not lose that. And don't abuse my trust. You'll be back in time to have dinner served when I get home." Cartman chipped merrily. "Anyway... See you." He closed the door. Kyle hastily stuffed the lap of paper deeply into his pocket.

Kyle snapped out of the flashback. Why had Cartman granted him such an opportunity to escape? It was the most unlikely thing ever to happen, and yet the proof was right in Kyles pocket. He could go. He couldn't get out of the camp of course. The note only granted him permission to walk around outside without doing any kind of work or duty. But how the hell did Cartman have the authority to decide what the other SS soldiers could or could not do. He was probably one of the youngest after all.

Kyle decided that right now, that was the lesser important question. The question of why Cartman had allowed him outside, was the prime consideration right now. Could it be, that Cartman had been honest, and that he just wanted Kyle to be able to go outside... enjoy the sun.. Okay, that was unlikely. Could he actually be nice?

The memory from yesterday popped into Kyles head.

Right after the argument Cartman had asked Kyle to move into his bedroom to sleep, which was as weird as, Cartman allowing Kyle to go out. Kyle couldn't help but find it strangely suspicious, that Cartman had offered him to sleep together in his bed. After two rounds of sex, Kyle had had neither the energy to ask why he offered him such a thing and nor was he mentally prepared to take on the argument which the question would stir. Cartman would have told him not to dig into his business in an icy tone.

Then Kyle would throw back some indignant reply, and they would be fighting. If it turned out good, Cartman would let hateful words fly at him, and retreat into his bedroom alone. If it, on the other hand, turned out bad, he would strangle Kyle right on the spot.

Cartman had shrugged the whole issue about Kyle and him sharing a bed off as trifles, but Kyle still found the sudden act of generosity very strange. It was unlike Cartman to share anything with anyone. He took pleasure in forcing Kyle to watch him eat delicious food, leaving him with dry bread and water, and he definitely didn't feel the slightest sense of guilt doing that.

Observant as he was, Kyle had quickly discovered that Cartman also hated intimacy, so that was another reason why he'd probably rather starve than let Kyle into his personal space. Whenever Kyle asked him personal questions, he would withdraw himself completely, into his little shelter of hate and anger. No intimacy wasn't Cartmans thing at all. The Nazi didn't just hate it. He despised it. In the beginning Kyles theory had been., that Cartmans despising intimacy was caused because, he was too primitive to feel anything, but lately several radical changes in Cartmans behaviour had proved him wrong.

Take the moment when Kyle banged his head into the wall, and they had laughed together like they were actually on the same level. Not a Jew and an SS officer. Just two people who were on the same wavelength and had fun. To Kyle, it had seemed like they had a connection at that moment. No, Cartman definitely was not primitive. Judged from the few good experiences Kyle had shared with him, he had some feelings, so he couldn't be totally primitive. Actually he was both smart and calculating as well. Rather than incapable of feeling emotions, he probably locked them away, somewhere in the deep dark pit inside himself where, maybe, a heart hid as well.

Kyle hoped he wasn't being too naïve, when it came to Cartman, but the truth was, that it wasn't solely Cartman who had changed. Kyle had realized it that, that morning, when he woke up next to the sleeping SS'er. He'd shifted to lie on his stomach, to gaze at Cartmans sleeping head on the pillow. Everything from the tousled hair to the round cheeks strangely enough radiated innocence and peace. The complete opposites of Cartman when he was awake.

Kyle had realized how much he had changed too. During the first whole month trapped in the barrack in Auschwitz I , Kyle would never have wasted an honest thought on Cartman. Now the chubby SS officer occupied his mind all the time. It was also as though he didn't detest Cartman as much, after the two and a half months together.

He had never been scared of him in any sense. Mainly because he wasn't afraid of dying, and because he had seen right through Cartman from the beginning, and realized that Cartman would enjoy scaring the crap out of him, more than anything else, and of course, being annoyed by Cartmans behaviour and constant mental challenges, Kyle had refused giving him that pleasure. By now, he had realized another thing. Cartman might have a foul mouth and threaten Kyle all the time, but he enjoyed making him suffer, more than actually killing him. He didn't have the authority to carry a gun, but even if he had, Kyle sincerely doubted that Cartman would pull the trigger on him. Something the two and a half months younger version of him, would have strongly disagreed with.

He looked at Cartman more closely. It wasn't the first time Kyle had looked at Cartman thoroughly, but still, it was as though this silent version of Cartman, wasn't part of the bigoted and hateful samples he'd live though during the day. His skin was incredibly smooth, for someone who spent most of his time, furrowing his face with anger or broad, smug smiles. His nose was small and almost straight, but with a curve at the tip, making him appear quite childlike. So did the soft, full lips, slightly apart right now. Kyle had reached out his hand, to touch the dark brown well-kept hair. Cartmans hair was definitely Kyle favourite feature about him. The way it flowed between his fingers was unlike anything else, though Kyle would hate to admit to that. Even though he was being screwed by a Nazi he had a little dignity left, and he wasn't about to go all soft on Cartman, only because he didn't look like a ticking bomb in his sleep.

"He can't be much older than me." Kyle had silently whispered to himself, curiously running his fingers over the curve of Cartmans cheek, to trace along the jawline. Being alone in the barrack all the time, had resulted in the development of a strange habit of talking to himself.

He wondered how such a young guy -practically still a boy like himself, had managed to get into the Totenkopfverbände. The training and education process took about three years, and you probably had to be eighteen to join. Kyle didn't know much about the SS-system, but enough to have a pretty good idea, that Cartman was too young to be here. Maybe he had created a fake id, because he wanted to serve Germany so badly. Or because he wanted power. There was also another issue. Though he was neither obese nor fat, Cartman was chubby, and probably not fit enough to be a soldier. So why could he get into the SS.

Kyle had sighted and rolled onto his back again, deciding to shrug it all off. It didn't matter why Cartman was here. He probably hat his reasons, and as far as Kyle was concerned he could serve them on a silver plate, and Kyle would still turn them down. At least, that's what he tried to convince himself, as he was squeezing his eyes shut, attempting to get a few more hours of sleep, before he had to endure another day of housekeeping.

Kyle forced his thoughts to drift off in another direction than Cartman. Ike was by far more important than Cartman.
He soaked the cloth with water from his bucket, wrung it, and pressed it to one of the pictures he hated the most. The one of Hitler. Washing the picture of a man he hated so much, really made him feel like a slave.

Deciding that neither Hitler nor Cartman were worth wasting thoughts on, he started to wonder what Ike was doing right now, and when he was going to return. Right in that moment, he heard a loud knock coming from the bedroom. It could only be Ike.

He swung open the door and ran into be bedroom. He was right. Ike waved at him, and gestured for Kyle to open the window. Kyle quickly complied with his request.

"Kyle! I went to ask the resistance group how to set you free, and we've got a plan."

Though Ike appeared excited, his state of health was worse than last time Kyle had seen him. He was scrawny. It looked like his skin was thin, pale, yellowish plastic, wrapped tightly around his bones. His damaged appearance gave Kyle a strong urge to pull his younger brother into a hug.

"Really?" Kyle sounded both excited and anxious.

It was logic to follow Ike. Nothing but simple logic. It was the better option. It was morally correct option. He had to go this time.

A/N: Okay, so . It took some time to update this time... I haven't been motivated and have been busy. This chap is kinda rushed, with a lot of flash back, and other confusing stuff. I hope it doesn't seem too confusing D:

I also have a feeling that this chap is pretty fucking borring . I hope I'm not right, but it contains so many thoughts and no actual action .

Cartman let's Kyle go outside XD First, I thought it was out of character, but now I've thought up a good enough reason to justify it :D
And no sex in this chap ______ I kinda wanted to write a sex scene, but I figured the chap would be too long and it wouldn't fit in. . Haha. And a sex scene in every chapter is too much __

Oh, and on another note, does anybody know when the new season of South Park is gonna be aired? It just hit me... XD

Anyway, please review ^__^