Complete Combustion

XI. Iridescent Eyes

"I tried to live alone,

but lonely is so lonely alone

So human as I am

I had to give up my defenses."

- In Any Other World by Mika

"Very possible," Kyle admitted. "But you can't blame all Jews for your own misfortune. You can't just generalize it like that. And if you hated us that much you wouldn't screw one!"

Cartman looked speechless, and opened his mouth a couple of times to retort, but closed it again in defeat.

"You know, " Kyle began, "we have actually been on pretty good terms lately. Remember that time when I banged my head against the wall during our foreplay, and you laughed, and when you let me sleep in your bed? And what about all the kisses, is that just standard treatment for all the inmates?" he questioned insistingly in a shrill and aggrieved voice. "You know what, Cartman, I hate to sound naïve and more than that, I hate to sound like cliche" he squeezed his eyes shut, considering how to explain what he was about to explain, in the best way possible. "but sometimes... just sometimes, it feels as though we share a connection of a kind. I know you'll disagree, but, well... that's how I've experienced the last one and a half month, where we've been on better terms."

Cartman gulped and scooted away from Kyle on the couch, as if to distance himself.

"I think..." Cartman whispered, eyes full of something Kyle hadn't seen in them before. It was fear. Pitch black insecurity, bewilderment and fear. The exact same things Kyle saw in his own eyes, when he looked into the mirror each morning, and there was the connection thing again. Cartman cleared his throat.

"I think, we better not talk about it, Kahl" he muttered darkly.

Kyle nodded silently. He knew what Cartman implied. He didn't know what to think either; what they did was wrong. That was obvious. But evidently Cartman felt the connection too, and he didn't know how to feel about it.

Kyle was on the same stage, and therefore the confusion, fear and insecurity in his eyes reflected Cartmans perfectly.

"Fine." Kyle said in a concluding tone. "We wont then." he rose from the couch, to prepare hos own evidently breakfast , which Cartman had laid on the coffee table in front of him in a bag, when Cartman grabbed hold of his striped sleeve pulling him into his lap.

Kyle froze at the unexpected body contact, but then felt the warmth spread throughout his body, as Cartman silently embraced him from behind. He sighed deeply, putting his hands on Cartmans slightly smaller ones in silent comfort. There was nothing to say, and neither one of them offered to break the silence.

Kyle really felt that he understood Cartman much better now, him having finally opened up to him, and told him about the reason why he got into the SS, and why he hated Jews so much.

Though Kyle didn't agree with Cartmans views at all, the revelations had caused him to realize, that Cartman was every bit as able to feel as Kyle. He had questioned Cartmans ability to feel compassion numerous times, but finally it was clear. If Cartman hadn't been able to feel compassion he wouldn't have needed to blame the Jews for his mothers unemployment. He clearly cared for her. Kyle caught himself wondering, if Cartman analyzed Kyles behavior and statements, as much as Kyle analyzed Cartmans, and laughed to himself.

"What are you laughing at, you dumb Jew?" Cartman asked softly, voice muffled in the nape of Kyle neck.

"Nothing." Kyle dodged.

Cartman shrugged, nuzzling his nose into the tender spot, right between Kyles shoulder blades, lightly biting him. Goosebumps immediately danced on his skin at the scraping touch of Cartmans teeth on his skin, and he let out a satisfied moan, to affirm that he liked it.

Cartman interpreted the moan the way it was meant, and continued kissing and nibbling his way down the slender line of his spine, pushing him down on the floor on all four.

"So what kind of kinky game do you have in store for me today, SS officer Cartman?" Kyle teased.

"So you like my kink, Penny-Pincher?" Cartman whispered elated leaning over Kyle to let him feel his breath tickle his ear lobe. Kyle automatically buckled his hips up, allowing his ass to bump against Cartmans crotch.

"Quit your sex-talk and fuck me already." Kyle retorted, well-aware that Cartman loved doing it roughly without foreplay, just like Kyle.. "Not in the mood for foreplay."

Cartman raised an eyebrow, looking impressed.

"Fine." he said sliding down Kyle pants and unbuckling his belt to pull it entirely out of his uniform pants. He then weighed it his fingers, experimenting. Then he ran the black leather over his bend-over partners buttocks, with light interest.

"What have I done this time?" Kyle asked slowly, waiting for the slap to come.

"Started a very unpleasant conversation." Cartman replied with a pleased grin. "But I don't mind it if this is the outcome." He flicked the belt once, leaving a red mark across Kyles ass, causing him to throw his head back asking for more in a high-pitched squeak.

"If only I had a nice big gun to stick up you Jewish ass and fuck you senseless," he flicked the belt again, and a loud crack was heard. "I know how you like the danger." His hands roamed Kyles body.

"And a sausage to put in your mouth to stop the screaming. You like sausages, right Kahl?" he drawled, mockingly.

"You do sort of have a sausage to put in my mouth," Kyle retorted cheekily but whined when he was whipped across the ass again.

"Shut your trap Koshie." Cartman snapped, whipping him once more.

Before Kyle could register the movement, Cartman had grabbed his wrists, effectively fastening the belt around them.

Kyle knew he wasn't really angry but it was all part of the game, and he enjoyed it, so he consented to rolling around on the floor, whining to get loose.
"Come on Kahl, I'll relieve you from your misery real soon." Cartman breathed in his ear in a husky, low voice. He grabbed him by the hips, to guide him back into the position on all four, positioning himself behind him. He slid his own pants down, letting his erect cock spring forth, to poke at Kyles bruising buttocks.

"It seems you forgot your underwear today." Kyle bantered.

"Oops." Cartman sarcastically replied, grabbing his cock to slide it deep into Kyles waiting entrance.

Kyle clenched his teeth, not uttering the tiniest whimper. Though he was used to it by now, the feeling of Cartmans thick throbbing cock always felt the same.

Kyle gritted his teeth as Cartman adjusted himself inside him, without showing Kyle any kind of consideration.

"Liking it?" Cartman asked with a catty grin.

"Yeah, just do your thing." Kyle replied through his clenched teeth.

Cartman laughed brashly.

"I was asking our friend on the wall." he pointed at the framed black-and-white photo of Hitler, which was starring blankly at some spot right above them on the wall.

Kyle was surprised Cartman would refer to the most tabooed and controversial subject of them all during sex, but he liked the idea of doing something this illegal right in front of a photo of "der Führer."

It was hilarious, and though he couldn't imagine why Cartman would agree in the position he was in,, he liked the daring joke. Actually he found the idea of them doing something illegal right now quite arousing, and felt the boiling blood in his veins starting to stream to his cock.

He laughed loudly, casting an evocative look over his shoulder at Cartman, who was encouraged to start mercilessly banging into him.

Kyle was so rigid by now. Cartman hit his spot, over and over again and Kyle felt that familiar soaring sensation spread through his whole body. It might hurt, but the pain was bitter-sweet in every sense, and he encouraged Cartman to fuck him harder by rolling his hips suggestively, to make the sensation better for Cartman as well.

"Oh yeah, you like that you little Jew bitch?" Cartman moaned, ramming into him even harder.

"I love it when you fuck me like that." Kyle moaned and felt Cartmans fingertips sliding from his tips across his chest to tease and squeeze his nipples as they kept going.

Kyle thought Cartman was about to come, because he felt his body tense and his pace quicken, but instead of coming he pulled himself out of Kyle, and started stroking himself.

With Kyle still being on all four, Cartman slid his hand between the red-heads legs, and started stroking Kyle as well.
Kyle intended to ask what he was on about, but he was interrupted when he felt Cartmans hot semen splash all over his ass-cheeks and thighs.

Within a second later he himself came hard onto the carpet, which he knew he would be ordered to clean up later.

"Why did you pull out?" he asked, collapsing onto the floor. His legs and arms shook crazily from the orgasm and his pulse was running wild.

"I just liked the image of your ass soaked in my sperm."

"I bet you do, you huge pervert."

"Do I need to ask you to shut up again?" Cartman asked warningly, but Kyle passed it off. He knew the Nazi well enough by now to know when he really had to make a run for it, and when he didn't.

Kyle felt hot after the sex. His pulse was still running high, and the tingling sensation had yet to disappear. Cartman looked as though he was on the same stage. Kyle watched him sit up, breathing couldn't help but look at his naked forms, as he dressed. Kyle knew that most people probably wouldn't consider Cartman more than averagely attractive. He was a little chubby combined with muscle tone, and his face was pretty normal, seen from an outside perspective, and he really couldn't put his finger on what it was about him, that made Kyle find him extremely attractive. Perhaps it was his eyes. They were quite large and hazel. Or his short, light brown hair which always looked sleek and clean, with slightly longer strands falling into his eyes.

"Actually I was thinking about something." he began. He started putting his clothes back on as well.

"Yeah?"

"What do you do here in the camp?" Kyle knew he was being a little too straightforward. Cartman detested when Kyle asked him questions. Mainly because he was a Jew and didn't have the right to do so, but also because Cartman didn't want Kyle to gain too much information about him. Cartman definitely was a private person when with Kyle. For those reasons Kyle became very surprised by Cartmans blunt and unconcerned answer.

"I drive a truck around."

"I already knew that." Kyle thought, but knew not to voice this truth.

He just had to assure himself, that Ike had been right. He hadn't been concentrating much on Ikes plan lately, and for reasons unknown to himself, he had been purposely delaying it being carried out.

"With what cargo?" Kyle said instead, well aware that he was venturing into a forbidden area.

Cartman definitely wouldn't answer this question.

All Ike and his fellow-inmates knew was, that he was driving other inmates around, and that sometimes, the wagon would drive through the gates to freedom. But if Ike couldn't figure out why the Nazis offered the hospitality to drive the inmates from place to place in the camp, when they set them to work outside at degrees below the freezing point with too thin clothing in the winter, Kyle sure couldn't either. Ike was much smarter than him and had always been so.

"Oh," Cartman mumbled, scratching his neck in a fidgety way. "I transport arms into- and out of the camp."

Kyle mesmerized Ikes words.

He doesn't have a permanent function in the camp, as far as we know, but he often comes by I.G. Farben, driving a wagon like the one I described to you. Then the kapos select some people, load them into the wagon, and he drives off.

Cartman was fully dressed now, and was seated with his legs crossed on the couch.

Cartman wasn't the most honest guy in the world, and especially not to Kyle, but Kyle still couldn't figure out for what reasons Cartman would lie about something this elementary.

"I don't get it. If he lies about what he transport through the camps, it must mean something obscene is going on. He's hiding something from me." Kyle thought, looking thoroughly at Cartman, who was buttoning his uniform coat.

He clearly recalled Ike having assured, that it was actually inmates getting into the wagon.

"What brand is the truck?" Kyle asked casually, avoiding Cartmans questioning look, which inquired that he found the question odd and out of place.

"It's an Opel Blitz, why?" he replied, eyebrows raised.

"What can I do to make him shrug it off?" Kyle thought agitatedly, and the answer was quite simple. It was the way the two of them always changed the subject, when they were talking about something unpleasant.

"You know, the seats have to be big enough to fuck in. I don't want to feel cramped."

Sex.

"So you have had deja-vu's from when you first came to Auswitz?" Cartman teased, referring to the rape in one of the cars. "I'm in on it, and don't you worry, Opels have big seats. And we could just do it in the cargo compartment. There's room for 52 people. Plenty of space."

"52 people?" Kyles attention was immediately caught, and he was actually tapping his foot impatiently on the floor, but he forced himself to continue speaking in an uninterested tone. "That's a very accurate observation, when you only use it for cargo."

"Yeah, I was just guessing, so I don't really..."

"You sounded certain." Kyle cut him off, sounding more accusatory than he was permitted to. He quickly let his hands, which had crawled up to his hips, hang loose at his sides.

Cartman arose from the couch and slowly and with an examining glare, approached Kyle. He stopped when they were so close, their noses nearly touched.

"And you sound too inquisitive."

Kyle was surprised Cartman even knew a word like inquisitive, but also very aware of the sensation of Cartmans soft breath on his face, his smell and the heat coming from his body.

"You know you can't ask me too many questions." Cartman declared eloquently, his eyes boring into Kyles. He hurt was carefully hidden behind his stern features, but his eyes gave him away.. The hurt that he only let Kyle see, when something was really wrong.

Kyle was speechless when Cartman took his face between his hands, purposely bringing their noses to touch lightly, before kissing him softly on the lips.

"You've got freckles." Cartman noted randomly, with a grin. "I never noticed."

So now the subject was changed, and Kyle would probably never get to know, how Cartman knew that the cargo compartment had room for 52 people. It was just typically Cartman to change the subject like that.

Cartman curiously ran his fingertip over Kyles freckled cheek. "I bet you were picked on as a kid."

Cartman was mocking him, but Kyle shrugged it off. He wanted to know what Cartman was hiding.

"I was actually. But for being Jewish for the record."

"What? You want me to pity you?" Cartman asked, but his hands remained on either side of Kyles face, contradicting his cruel words.

"God no." Kyle shook his head. "Makes me feel weak, when people pity me."

"Me too." Cartman said. "But they wont do that to me as long as I'm in Auschwitz."
He released Kyles head, and flopped back onto the couch, head in his hands.

"But you didn't have to join SS to make people stop pitying you." Kyle argued reproachfully, and took a seat next to Cartman.

"You only say that because you don't know how my situation was before I got here." Cartman muttered self-righteously, starring into space.

"I was picked on at school too, you know. Because I was obese and my mother was a fucking slut. We were poor like hell, and she couldn't get a job," he cast a sidelong glance at Kyle, "because the Jews took the good jobs."

"You have no right to..."

"Shut up." Cartman cut him off. "When I got older I started doing lots of stupid things. Got into gangs and stuff. But then one day my father showed up on the threshold. Apparently he had told one of his colleagues about his affair with my mother, and said colleague threatened to let the newspapers know."

"Right, that was when the newspapers weren't subjected to censorship." Kyle added.

Cartman ignored him.

"So he paid a ransom to the the colleague, and decided to show up at our house, in case we would pull the same trick on him. Anyway, we didn't, because like I already told you, he gave us everything we could want, he sent us money and gave me lots of presents, to keep us satisfied. He turned our lower class family into a wealthy upper class one. Got me a place on a private school etcetera, etcetera. For the first time in my life I got the respect I deserved, and Himmler insisted that I joined the SS when I became old enough. It was clear that if I didn't oblige, he would stop sending money. By then, the war had begun and Himmler ranked high in the Thrid Reich, so he wouldn't care if we revealed anything about him. The newspapers were censored anyway."

Kyle sighed."Cartman, that's no reason to sign up for..."

"Don't you see?" Cartman asked, slightly annoyed. "People used to pity me. You said you hate it yourself, when people do that."
Kyle could argue against that if he wished. There was simply no excuse for joining the SS only to obtain recognition in Kyles opinion, but instead of objecting he drew a sigh and patted Cartmans thigh sympathetically.

Heavy silence trickled out from every crack in the ceiling and from the windowsill, gushing through the room, like a waterfall.

Both Kyle and Cartman were quietly sitting next to each other, forfeiting in the silence. Eventually Kyle broke the silence, as he remembered his secret agenda.

"We were talking about the Opel you drive." He revived. "Remember what I said we could do in there?"

He leaned toward Cartman, curling the corners of his mouth into an evocative smile, because he had just realized, that the only way to get the key, was by seducing Cartman. It was the one thing Kyle had on him, and he was confident it would work. Cartmans face told him the same because it had twisted in to a self-satisfied smirk.

"Oh, how could I?" Cartman emphasized theatrically, leaning closer to Kyle as well.

Kyle had a hard time, focusing on the words he were about to say, with Cartman hovering above him. "If I could borrow your..."

Silence.

Kyle watched as Cartman looked at him in bewilderment.

"Well?" Cartman waited.

Kyle only looked at him, at a complete loss of what to say. Finally the words returned to him.

"Nothing." Kyle said simply. "You can take me there when you want to."

"I was going to, Jew." Cartman assured him, still looking slightly suspicious, as he got up, grabbing his gray-green cap from the chest of drawers.

Rays of morning sun sparsely peaked through the thick windows, with lawyer upon lawyer of dust gathering on the outside. Having fought their way through the filter of dust, the sun rays illuminated the room in a greyish tone, and Kyle remembered Cartman had to go to work. It was strange how he forgot time around here.

"Bye," Kyle murmured, and shortly thereafter heard the door slam.

The first thing he did when he was alone, was collapsing onto the floor, letting out a sigh of hopelessness.

"Why the hell didn't you ask for the keys, you huge idiot." Kyle thought. "You wasted a great opportunity to escape. What is wrong with you?!"

He put his head in his hands, letting it dangle limply. He wanted to see his parents again and rescue his brother. That was fact.

But if he cared the least bit about the safety of his family, he would have snatched the keys without second thoughts.

Kyle felt a large lump form in his throat. He felt insanely guilty for having forfeited his one opportunity. When he'd been about to ask for the keys, his tongue had simply denied reciting the request. He had started sweating, and for some reason, vivid images of Cartman had started running through his mind. They were memories. Memories of when Cartman offered him to sleep in the bed for the first time, Cartman allowing him to go out of the barrack, and so on. It had been like an out-of-body experience

Kyle smacked his own forehead, squeezing his eyes shut, from the pain it caused. He had realized, that all the images were memories that unjustified him deserting Cartman.

And there was the problem; Kyles logical brain told him it was impossible to unjustify him leaving Cartman. What Cartman and his colleagues did to the Jews in the camp, made every act of cruelty from Kyles side justifiable.

But Cartman had been nicer recently, and sometimes it felt as though he actually cared. He probably didn't, but it felt like it. But if Cartman really was being genuinely nice, the did he deserve the company of someone who partially wanted to escape? And if he was just playing nice, to gain Kyles trust in order to obtain something, then why did he deserve Kyles trust?

Kyle opened his eyes again, hoping that it was all just a dream, and that he would find himself at home in Leipzig. There'd be no war. They would have a fire going in the fireplace. Everything would be like back when he was younger.

But then he noticed it. On the floor, only one meter away from him, Cartman had probably dropped it when he was leaving.

One meter away from him, sparkling in the greyish light from the window lay the extra key to the truck.

A/N: SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO UPDATE THIS TIME!

Really, I'm sorry, but I've been extremely busy, and when you have to do homework and written papers all the time, the creativity gets drained away _ It sucks but it's the truth.

On another note. When I began writing this I wanted the fanfic to be really sinister, but I feel that it's kinda difficult to maintain that image, when both Kyle and Cartman start showing their feelings. It was especially hard in this chapter.

I just hope it doesn't start to sound like some angsty teenage diary, 'cos I would hate that. Please tell me it doesn't, and prevent me from jumping off a cliff D:


And by the way, I was SO stoked when watching the new episode of South Park. The one with facebook! Did you all like it? And I'll have to wait till tomorrow to watch the one who airs today in the US _ It sucks living in Denmark.

Okay, gotta go now, but as always, reviews will be greatly appreciated :3