18
Finals are finally over! I took that calculus exam today and I actually felt pretty confident about it. I've got Kyle to thank for that. Too bad when I got back to the apartment today, he's already gone with Stan. They left a note on my door, telling me that they are not coming back till the last day of Christmas break. Well, I guess I'll have the apartment all to myself and Tweek.
Mom and dad actually invited to go to a ski trip with them and Ruby to Aspen. Rubby begged me to go, but I don't really feel like it. I don't want to freeze my ass off.
While I was waiting for Tweek to come back, I started watching the Red Racer DVDs, really, I've watched it so many times I can recite the dialogues. It'll be so much easier if life is like that too – that I can know ahead of time what people are going to say. Life would be so nice and boring then, just the way I like it.
I remember when Kyle was helping me yesterday, we kinda had this conversation about me. He said he was surprised I stay clean. I know what he meant, I know everyone back in high school always thought that I'm badass and I'll smoke, do drugs and drop out of college after my first year. To be honest, I don't know why they think that, maybe it's because I am constantly flipping people off and always at the counselor office. But I am not the type of person to get high off weed and shit. I just want some peace and quiet. I don't need to see rainbows and unicorns or whatever stupid gay shit you see when you are high to get off the stress. I don't have stress, because when someone or something is giving me stress, I'll just flip them off. Just like how I flipped off my calculus notes last night and Kyle came to the rescue.
Tweek didn't come home till two in the morning. So I ordered pizza. He didn't say a word and locked himself in his room. I was seriously worried, but I also didn't want to face him. What if it's something really bad and I don't know how to comfort him? I'll just make him feel worse. I've lost that influence over him these last few years, I can no longer calm him down with just a snap of my fingers.
So I made the logical, yet cruel decision: let him cry alone in his room till he runs out of tears.
I know I am being a total dick turning my back on him. But he needs to coup with his feelings himself. What is he going to do when I am gone? Besides, I need to get over it too. If I keep indulging myself with Tweek, I'll just end up getting deeper and deeper again. Just like when we were kids. I am not going to make that mistake again.
It still hurts, it hurts me bad… But I guess this wound will just get number and number as time pass by eventually, none of us will feel anything.
Reviews would be nice. Sorry I wasn't as enthusiastic about this story as I used to be when I started.
Maybe you guys can give me suggestions as to how to continue, then maybe I can update faster.
Tell me what you like, or tell me how you want it to go, c'mon people, work with me=]