Hi. It sure has been a bit, hasn't it? This chapter was written over the course of a few days. I thank all of you who are reading this for your continued support!

At mid-point, Haga and I'll be reveal our top five favorite Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei Girls, and "The Five Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei Characters We'd most likely be friends with"! We'll also be telling you why.

Haga: Shuji's reasons are perverted.

Do I need to keep telling you to shut the Hell up? Shut the Hell up!

Haga: No!

Well, I'm getting slightly pissed off right now, so let's just get on with the next chapter!

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Chapter 10: You Pervert.

It had been about four days since the incident on the train. Meru was texting her own thoughts to herself (Yes, she does that in this fic).

That idiot nearly got himself killed on the train. But what I'm really angry about....

Flashback:

"Listen, height and bust are qualities that only perverts look for. In fact, some people prefer girls shorter with small breasts..... Uh, not that I'm thinking about that!"

Pervert XP

Flashback end.

I've never been like that with anyone... It was a playful insult but.... it was still playful.

Meru paused before texting again.

Putting aside the fact that I was actually playful with someone else... is he really a pervert? Should I have said that to him?

Meru paused again.

Wait, why should I care?

Because he's the person who cares.

Shut up you stupid author/narrator, quit butting in where you aren't wanted.

... Ouch...

.... Well, if he really was a pervert, then there's no problem with calling him a pervert, right?

That's called being, "Brutally Honest".

Didn't I tell you to shut the hell up? Shut the hell up!

And she steals my lines!

Well, I won't regret it if he really was a pervert.....

Meru suddenly got a brilliant idea!

Let's see if he really is a pervert...

Later that day....

Majiruwas fidgeting outside the door to the Otonashi home. "It was very sudden.... calling me out to her home. I've never been to her house before."

Majiru rang the doorbell. No answer. He rang it again. No answer. He didn't want to go through the whole process of ringing the doorbell so many times that he gets pissed off to the point of yelling, just when somebody finally opens the door, so he decided to go into the house without an answer.

"Hello? Is anybody home?" He began to walk down a small hallway. "Helloooo?"

He opened a door to his right.

"Whoa… It's…"

Majiru picked up a small figurine.

"It's an official Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei Kaere/Kaede figurine!"

If it wasn't obvious already, the skirt was blown up.

"I didn't know Meru was into collectable figurines…."

He completely ignored the skirt.

Meru, who is in an undisclosed location, was looking at a monitor. If he's looking at Kaere's skirt, he's doing a good job of doing it…

Meru upped the ante.

In the next room Majiru checked….

"Whoa! It's…."

Majiru walked over to a bed.

"A Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei full body Abiru Kobushi pillow!"

The Abiru Kobushi on the pillow was in a bikini.

"So Meru is into collector goods…. Cool…"

Majiru is into collector goods. However, he only watches a few anime. But that doesn't mean that he isn't obsessed about them to otaku level. His favorite anime right now is Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei.

"Huh… Why is it on this bed? A good like this should be shelved or hung up."

Though otaku usually do that with figurines, that's not what the pillow is for. Majiru is familiar with Akihabara and all the otaku culture there, but he is unaware of the secondary reasons extremely hardcore otaku buy things revolved around anime.

1.) To play with the figurines.

2.) To shelve them and stare in awe at their awesomeness.

3.) Look up the anime girls' skirts.

4.) In case of perverted otaku and full body pillows, put them together and….. I don't wanna say.

Majiru put the pillow back and walked out of the room.

Meru upped the ante again. She was beginning to get annoyed.

In the next room, it was labeled, "Meru's room".

'Should I really be snooping in here? I mean, it is Meru's room…'

He decided to skip over to the next room.

"Huh? Isn't this…"

There was a life-size figure in the center of the room.

"The Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei Ai Kaga life-size 'Sumimasen' figure?"

If you couldn't tell, the figure was bowing.

"It's so realistic… and so is the way she bows, it looks like she's actually apologizing for something she didn't do!"

He walked out of the room.

Why? If he were a pervert, he should have been looking at her backside as she bowed…

Well, the perverseness in that one wasn't as obvious as the other two, you have to admit.

You're still here? STFU already.

…. You're mean!

(After this, I left for about two hours to cry. Really.)

Majiru decided to go back to Meru's room.

'If there's anyplace that anybody will be in their own house, it's their own room, right? And besides…. I won't really be snooping if she's in there already, right?'

Majiru opened the door a crack…. And he could see a small head on a pillow on a bed.

'So she is in here!'

Majiru opened the door all the way and… he found that Meru was in her pajamas, sleeping in her bed.

'Um….' Majiru blushed. 'I don't think I'm supposed to be in here….' Majiru looked back at Meru.

'Nnggg…. She looks so cute when she's sleeping…'

He overlooked the fact that she's also in pajamas.

Majiru leaned over Meru. 'Up close, she looks cuter…. Wait, I need to distance myself!' Majiru backed away…. But then went back to his earlier position leaning over her.

'God…. I'm acting so….'

The longer he lingered there, the redder his face got from looking at her, and the more he thought that he should leave.

'I should leave. I should leave right now. If I don't, something bad will happen! If I don't, a misunderstanding will happen! It will! I must leave!'

But instead of backing away, he leaned in closer.

'I must leave!'

His body betrayed his thoughts as he leaned in almost as close as he could get.

'I must leave!!'

The moment was coming….

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Half-point!

Haga: Now, for the moment you've all been waiting for!

Both mine and Haga's favorite Zetsubou Girls, and Who we'd best be friends with!

Haga: You start off.

My favorite Zetsubou Girls.

5.) Mayo Mitama: I dunno. Her eyes, although evil, are very cute.

4.) Nami Hitou: Although normal, she sorta has that air of normality that also suggests innocence. Other than that, she's kinda cute.

3.) Chiri Kitsu: When she isn't completely enraged by imprecision, she looks pretty cute, arranging things and correcting others, and whatnot.

2.) Kafuka Fuura: Not quite Kafuka! Her cheery personality and upbeat spirit brings light into the despair of Nozomu's heart (although she may be completely evil).

1.) Komori Kiri! Her reclusive nature… that cute face… the way she hides behind her hair… so Kawaii~! Hey, don't make me out to be like Haga! She's very cute!

Who I'd best be friends with.

5.) Komori Kiri: We both tend to shy away from others.

4.) Harumi Fujiyoshi: We're both anime/manga freaks.

3.) Jun Kudou: I dunno. He doesn't mind befriending anybody, and I like to make friends. It all works out.

2.) Nozomu Itoshiki, Zetsubou-sensei: A shared view of Negativity (though mine isn't AS extreme).

1.) Ai Kaga! Above all else, we are both humble. Actually (and you won't believe this) people have told me that I say "sorry" too much!

Haga: Those are all lame reasons.

I'd like to see you do better!

Haga: Alright then…

My fav. Girls!

5.) Nami Hitou: She has normal body proportions, which is bigger than most people in the class.

4.) Komori Kiri: Underneath that blanket, she actually has pretty big boobs!

3.) Rin Itoshiki: She has a nice, ample butt.

2.) Kaere Kimura: Biggest boobs in class.

1.) Chie Arai: Biggest boobs in school.

Must you turn everything into a smut-fest, Haga?!

Haga: Hey, I'm honest. You should try it.

Those aren't the only qualities you should look for, you pervert!

Haga: Ditto.

Most likely Best friends!

5.) That truant kid…. Usui-kun was it? He looks at the girls lecherously.

4.) Aoyama: Deep on the inside, he knows he's a pervert.

3.) Kuniya Kino: He probably looks at Ai's butt when she bows.

2.) Mikoto Itoshiki: Because He probably touches the girl patients inappropriately.

1.) Nozomu Itoshiki: I wanna learn how to score like that Playboy.

Each of your reasons (except for what-his-name's) is completely stupid or off the mark!

Haga: Before this section gets too long, and before he snaps on me, let's get back to the story!

Hey!

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His cell phone suddenly got a text message.

'Huh? What was I doing?'

Majiru checked the text… it said:

Zzzzzzz……

'Huh? Is that sleeping? A series of Z's means that she's snoring right? So she's asleep? But it's impossible to text while you're asleep!'

Majiru took another look at her.

'But texting everything to everybody may have become an involuntary action, even as she sleeps!'

Then all of a sudden, an alarm went off. "Huh?"

Majiru walked away from Meru and toward the direction of the noise.

"Isn't this…."

He looked at the clock with a figure standing atop it.

"The Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei Chie-sensei swimsuit model alarm clock?"

I know it doesn't exist yet. (As a matter of fact, neither do the other pieces of merchandise… as far as I know).

Majiru pressed the left breast to stop the alarm.

Aha! Is what Meru texted as soon as she jumped out of her bed, but took Majiru five seconds to receive.

Majiru turned around. "Meru? You were awake?"

I knew it. You're a real pervert!

"Wh-wha? No!"

Trust me. He only thought of the model as a part of the clock.

"I only thought of the model as a part of the clock!"

Hey, I already said that.

Oh really?

"Anime goods are just anime goods! Things to be collected, admired and nothing more!"

Um, a few people in the world would disagree.

You need to be a pervert!

"Huh? Why?"

My words four days ago hold no meaning… if you aren't.

"Meru….."

Or was I really just being playful? Playing around with some idiot for no more reason than…

Meru fell to her knees, unable to face her own emotions.

…than…

A hand had been held out for her, waiting to pick her up.

"Lust. It's something that everyone feels at one point in time or another. It can be small…"

Majiru bent down and grabbed Meru's hand.

"Or it can be as large as that gang that tried to grope you. The smallest amount one can have…"

Majiru pulled her up.

"… is the admiration or women for their bodies, which is what you think I have."

He pulled her close.

"But believe me, an admiration of small breasts is nothing compared to the love that overshadows that lust."

Meru blushed.

Majiru flinched at the statement he just made. He searched his mind for an excuse…

"My love, for this world, and all who inherit it…"

Meru texted herself.

'His love for the world? Is he sure he isn't covering anything up?'

But Meru decided not to pry. He was a prepubescent boy who hardly knows what he's talking about when it comes to that, was her excuse.

Hmph, well…

Meru released herself from Majiru's arm.

I at the very least don't consider you a pervert anymore…

"Meru…."

But each time you look, I'm charging you ten thousand yen.

Blood rushed out of Majiru's head.

"Um, Meru? Isn't that a bit much?"

If you take into consideration that you like looking at them, It's perfectly reasonable.

"Meru…!"

And as the sun sat on this day, both smiled inwardly, for different reasons.

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I think I ended this chapter rather appropriately.

Haga: That ending sentence was lame.

Hey! I ended it like a poet!

Haga: I would have much rather have seen Majiru pressing his face into….

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! Author's Notes, or Main Story, It's still a T-rated fic! Mention of bosoms and butts are allowed, but not when they're mentioned as explicitly as you mention them!

Haga: You pervert. I was gonna say, "The Pillow", but your mind immediately went to the gutter, didn't it?

It's in the gutter either way you idiot! And you were the one who made me think that!

Haga: Who cares. You're the pervert not me.

I'm five seconds before completely losing it, so let's just say goodbye, okay!?

Haga: Fine with me.

Sayonara!

Haga: Suckers!

……….. Gr……