Hi. Haga here. I'll be taking over as author today.

Shuji: And I'll be taking his place in class for a day. I won't be the same Shuji. I'll be playing a part in the story, which means I won't be the same author you knew up to now. But I'll be back next time!

But for now, as the author for the day, I want to talk about something. Lemons. Are they good or bad? Well, in my opinion-

-Content Censored for the Convenience of our younger readers-

Wait a minute! What with the censor! My answer wasn't even inappropriate! But just because it includes lemons, it gets censored? The censors are evil!

Shuji: So True.

Ready Shuji? One, Two, Three…

Haga and Shuji: Zetsuboushitta! The sensitivity of censors to any miniscule thing that ultimately isn't un-show able has left us in despair!

Shuji: I would be able to make a more flexible fanfic if I didn't have to worry about what I was writing!

And I'd be able to do stuff to girls in this fanfic!

Shuji: You hide a perverted persona under those bored looking eyes of yours…

*Blades Clash*

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 11: Truth and Despair

Nozomu was depressed. Well, he was depressed before, but now he's really depressed. It's like he said earlier on, some things are better left unknown. But when Kafuka comes to mind, there are too many unknowns. It makes one overly curious and ask questions. The answer was not meant to be heard. But Zetsubou-sensei heard it.

He decided just to forget. Pretend he didn't hear anything. Go on with things as they normally did. As he walked into the classroom, he glanced around. He saw Meru. She looked happier, but she was trying to hide it. He saw Jun Kudou. He was sitting next to Nami this morning. I wonder why. He saw… Kafuka Fuura. Of course, that's what everyone else says…. No! Forget the truth! Stop it!

Chie-sensei walked into the classroom. "Students, I'm pretty sure you all are wondering where your classmate Haga is…"

Kaere: "No!"

Abiru: "Not really."

Ai: "I don't! Sumimasen!"

Meru: That Pervert? Hell no.

Aoyama and Kino: "Yes! Where is he?"

"Settle down. Haga is interning at a company of some sort. It's only for a day, so he'll be okay. Thanks to the Student/intern transfer program."

The blood drained from everybody's head. 'WAIT. You mean the person taking his place is an intern!?'

Kafuka perked up. "Yay! A bright new face to add to our Myspace and Facebook!"

Maria perked up too. "Maria likes interns! Interns die almost as more than in my country! But more and more people become intern a lot! They all brave!"

Yes, they are brave. Over 1,000 deadbeat unpaid interns die every day. Over 1,000 regular unpaid interns die every week. But still, more and more people become interns. How brave indeed.

"I'd like to introduce everyone to…" a boy walked into the room. "… Shuji Nonohana."

The boy was sixteen years old. He looked tired, as he always does. He had messy, short black hair, and a small smile on his face. He had the air of naiveté surrounding him. And it was true. He was simple, and it didn't take much for him to trust anyone.

"You're over explaining things, you pervert…."

Don't call me a- well anyway, this was their transfer intern.

"Shuji Nonohana is an alias I use for work. You may call me Himegami Moteru."

Chie walked over to Nozomu. "Um, Itoshiki-Sensei, there is something you should know about that boy…"

Himegami took a seat next to Kaere, and extended his hand. "Hello! I'm Himegami, nice to meet-"

"Don't touch me creep."

Chie-sensei said, "He has an inferiority complex."

"Huh?"

A shout of "I'll make up for it in death!" was heard, and a snag came shortly afterward. Apparently, Himegami was trying to hang himself.

The entire class thought 'Another pessimist!'

"No." Zetsubou-sensei swiftly answered the class' obvious thought. "A person with an inferiority complex kills himself more single-mindedly than a pessimist. They can be as optimistic as they like. They even support others above themselves. And they enjoy doing so. But…"

Himegami was pulled down by Kuniya Kino.

"Let go! I'm a worthless human that shouldn't live! Everything is my fault!"

"They have a tendency to put themselves down to the point where they think that they're completely worthless, and are the cause of everyone's problems."

Kuniya Kino yelled at Himegami, "Stop saying you're worthless! You broke my room's window playing baseball about a year ago! I told you the cost was only 50,000 but…"

"I worked five full-time jobs for a year to get enough money!"

"Not only did you work more than you needed to, but you gave me 5,000,000 yen!"

Zetsubou-sensei clarified. "They also tend to overcompensate for the shortcomings that they think they have."

Harumi answered, "Yeah. I've heard of Himegami before. He's really good with track and field. He's one of the top five young distance runners in the country." (Not really).

"Really?" *Sweats*.

"Yes, and his coach told him to run six miles every day. But, he instead ran all the time every day and only went home to do homework, eat, and sleep."

"What happened afterward?"

"The coach realized that he would push himself to the absolute limit, and admired that about him, but realized that it would be bad for Himegami's health if he kept up this extreme lifestyle. In short, he was dropped from the team. But the coach still calls him up for a race every now and then. They're like friends now."

*Sweat*. "Well, aside from the fact that he overcompensates, or maybe because of it, he seems pretty likable. See? Kino helped him because he worked so hard for a stranger."

Himegami shouted in protest, "No! Nobody should like me! I'm the worst person ever!"

Nozomu laughed. "Oh please. You're nowhere near as bad as… Egotists!"

"E-egotists, Sensei?"

"Yes! In complete contrast to loathing themselves and liking everyone else, they only think of themselves! Any and all the time, they are their own most important person! Their twisted minds bend the truth and twist it until they are the hero! In their own little minds! But in reality, the loud Egotists are loathed. The quiet ones are though of as weird! But all in all, they don't care for people at all!"

Flash! Flash! Flash! Flash!

"Zetsuboushitta! People who are too full of themselves to even realize they are full of themselves have left me in Despair!"

After school let out….

A troubled Chiri-chan stood near the gate trying to sort something out in her mind. Or rather, out loud.

"Why am I feeling like this? Being properly inserted into his family register is still extremely important, but… that feels completely secondary to this other feeling I have about him. What is it?"

"Love."

"Huh?"

Chiri turned around. It was Himegami.

"What do you mean 'love', Himegami-kun?"

"For one, love is the cornerstone of life. You get flustered and confused. You often don't even know it yourself."

"True, but you have no way of telling if it's love or not…"

"Your face is beet red."

Chiri checked her mirror. She was as red as a tomato!

"S-so! What does that prove?"

"I'm told you are always methodical and precise. Proper in every way."

"Y-yes!"

"Have you ever even stuttered like you are now?"

"Gasp!" 'He's right!'

"And acting like this in front of the school gates… that isn't very proper, now is it?"

"I-I could have a cold!"

"Well then, the proper thing to do would be to go home and take medicine. Instead, you're hanging around the school."

"Yes… that does make sense…" Chiri didn't want to admit it, but she had been out done.

"Tell me, Chiri-chan, who is it that you're thinking about so much?"

Chiri told him about Sensei, and their ordeals.

"So, you know what this feeling is?"

"No…" Chiri was starting to get nervous.

"Your feelings before?"

"I wanted to be properly inserted into his family register."

"But now another feeling makes being 'proper' feel secondary?"

"Yes…" Chiri's palms were sweating.

"Look deep into your heart. Tell me the first thing that comes to mind when I mention your sensei."

"….. nervous."

"Nervous, eh? Tell me, if I were your Sensei, subtract all improper points, and tell me what the first thing is that you'd tell me."

"……I…."

"Yes, you?" Himegami egged her on.

"I….. l…. llll…… l…."

"Lllll? You?"

"I…. l-lo…. Lo…."

"Almost there…."

Chiri couldn't hold it in anymore.

"I….. Love you! Sensei!" She ran up to Himegami and kissed him on the lips!

"Mmmph! Shciri-shcan! (Chiri-chan!)"

Chiri immediately took twelve steps back. "Oh! I'm so sorry, how improper of me! I thought you were Sensei!"

"Um…. That's alright…. At least you were honest… now try doing that to the real Sensei."

"…. I couldn't."

"Well, I understand why. Now, do you understand?"

"….. Yes…. When it comes to Sensei…."

"I believe my work here is done." Himegami walked away.

"When it comes to Sensei…. Priority one is love… priority two is precision!"

Still obsessed with precision. Meanwhile, behind a tree somewhere…

"I though for sure she liked me…. Sigh…" Himegami was still pondering what might have been.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Haga: Now that we're at midway, I'd like to ask you something.

Shuji: Yes?

Haga: Doesn't your character sorta seem like Ai Kaga?

Shuji: No! By apologizing, yes, but She feels guilty for everything, even things that don't have to do with her (death of her mailman, GLOBAL WARMING, The world's rising suicide rate, etc.) as well as what she actually is involved with. My character feels guilty for existing, and feels he is a nuisance in every way.

Haga: Ai is guilty for living.

Shuji:….. I want to draw a distinct difference between "Guilt Complex" and "Inferiority Complex"! She always feels things are her fault, but I feel Inferior in all General areas! As in I don't think I'm good enough to make the Track and Field team! I don't think I'm good enough to finish high school! I'm not good enough to watch Suzuka! And it's only 26 episodes long!

Haga: Well, Ai isn't particularly troubled by feelings of Inferiority, but feelings of Guilt. Both similar, but also different.

Shuji: My character also overcompensates.

Haga: Actually, Ai tends to do that when nobody's looking.

Shuji:…….. I'm sorry my character doesn't have a completely original Personality Disorder.

Haga: By the way, Shuji's alter ego "Himegami's" name comes from the Japanese word for "Inferiority complex", Higami.

Shuji: I added the "me" to "Higami" to make "Himegami". Himegami is the name of a character in Hayate the Combat Butler.

Haga: The last name "Moteru" came from "Moteru" (pronounced like the same word for Motel), the Japanese word meaning, "To Be Well Liked". The Himegami character is very well liked in the story…

Shuji: But because of his Inferiority Complex, he himself doesn't know. By the way, I'm not like my alter ego Himegami. I only suffer from a combination of SIC (Slight Inferiority Complex) and Slight Pessimism. Neither one is dominant, both are equal.

(The Japanese Info was looked up online, so I don't know how reliable it is).

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

There was another person with a lot on his mind. Nozomu Itoshiki. The truth. Why did it torment him? He now figured there was no point in trying to forget. He couldn't. Trust me, he tried. No dice.

'I….. wish I didn't have to learn the truth…. But once you know, you can't un-know.'

Flashback.

Nami whispered into her Sensei's ear.

"Now, I'm probably going to regret telling you, but It's better than you figuring out when it's too late."

Nozomu thought, 'What does she mean?' But he continued to listen solemnly.

"Kafuka is split between two people."

Okay, now this is where Nozomu grew confused.

"Not like Kaere- both personalities are always active all the time."

'Well, isn't that just one personality then?'

"Two contrasting personalities; She is extremely positive, only sees the good in things. But at the same time, she is Evil."

'She's Positively Evil?'

"Since birth, all of the people she ever loved have had misfortune befall them, and in the worst case scenario, they disappeared, never heard from again."

'Um…. WHAT?'

"Of course, the good part of Kafuka knows about this and doesn't want any part of it. But the evil part is stronger at times. People she loves…. Are also people she hates. It's still unclear which feeling is stronger."

'This is starting to sound scary….'

"In fact, she was very close to Kenta-kun and Maki-chan in elementary school. They… both were found in a furnace three years later."

'A FURNACE?!'

"At this point in time, I'm almost glad I was the only one she called 'Normal'."

Nozomu wanted to run. He didn't want to hear any more. But the mention of "Before it's too late" compelled him to stay.

"She told you about her father and mother, right? About how they each tried to commit suicide. I don't know the details, but she admitted to being the cause. The demon possession incident wasn't her fault though. That one was just coincidence. Later, her parents were successful in dying…"

'The more I hear, The more I want to run….'

"Oh, you must have heard of that terrorist group, Negati-B, right?"

'Those guys…'

"After bumping into a high school student with glasses one day, she met with Negati-B."

'Oh yeah…. Wait, that was her?!'

"She never saw the glasses man again, but she maintained a working connection with Negati-B. She grew very close to them, but just two (Regular) years ago…."

Nami held up a newspaper with the Headline: Terrorist group commits suicide! Anonymous Girl only Survivor.

Blue lines representing blood loss ran down Nozomu's head.

"These incidents used to happen all the time. But it was only recently that she stopped. Since then, although she seemed happy all the time, she made life just a bit harder and weirder for some people."

Nozomu remembers everything that happened with Kafuka.

"It's a dark secret that had only been confided in with Harumi, Abiru, and Me."

'I suppose it's not a secret you can tell everybody.'

"She was so upset about it, that she cut herself once."

'Now that you mention it… just once….'

"As I said, recently, the people around her have stopped disappearing."

'Recently….'

"The year that she stopped…. Was the year she joined class 2-He, your class, Sensei."

Nozomu understood.

"She's been getting close to you sensei…"

He didn't need to hear anymore.

"The next person to disappear…. Might be you, Sensei."

Sensei lost it at that moment.

"ZETSUBOUSHITTA!"

End Flashback.

Nozomu kept thinking back.

'Pulling down on me while I'm hanging, that incident with the train, it's only luck that I haven't died yet…'

But still, Nozomu couldn't be sure if this was the truth!

"I should just talk to her. I can find out more if I just talk to her. Until then, I can't be sure if what I heard was the truth or not!"

Nozomu set out to find Kafuka!…..

After about three hours of searching, he was about ready to give up. But as he was walking….

"Oh, it's starting to rain… wait a minute."

Nozomu ran. As he ran, the rain grew heavier. Soon, he arrived at the same park he always went to. As expected, he saw Kafuka under Pink Gabriel.

"Kafuka."

Kafuka looked up. "Zetsubou-sensei…."

Underneath the protection of the tree, the two remained silent. Of course, with the rain pouring down as hard as it was, It didn't matter. Neither had to say anything. Nozomu sat down next to Kafuka. Waiting for the rain to subside….

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Haga: Wow… that ending seems….. Wow…

Shuji: Although I had planned out what the truth was, I had to make several changes.

Haga: Shuji, I must say, I am impressed.

Shuji: Well, from now on, all the stories are going to be told in one chapter at a time. The Nozomu, Jun, and Majiru stories will all be together from now on. I know it may be confusing, but I'll try my best to make it work.

Haga: Nami was… unusually well informed.

Shuji: Well, she had known Kafuka for a long time, and although she was a "Normal" friend, she was still a "Childhood" friend. It'd only be natural that she'd be a confidant.

Haga: But still… she told Nozomu without any price, with no understanding of what the consequences are.

Shuji: Not to mention it sounds like something you'd hear from a Sunday crime drama.

Haga: Well, that's completely Normal- augh!

Nami: NORMAL?

Haga: No Nami! I didn't mean-

Nami: SAY BYE-BYE TO YOUR ****…..

Haga: N-noooooooo!

Shuji: For reasons I cannot describe, we're ending here.

(FYI, look at the intro episode/chapter for Meru Otanashi. There is a bandage on Kafuka's arm. That's where I thought she cut herself.)

Life of Despair: Suicide Theater

I've failed. Last chapter, I didn't put in the Suicide Theater. I'm so worthless…. I shouldn't have forgotten… I'm so sorry….

In the bathtub. The water is red. My arm is in the tub. There's blood splattered everywhere. And there is a razor blade on the floor…. I couldn't take it anymore.