I wrote this chapter a month and a half ago, but that was before I had a laptop. My old computer was terrible, and often automatically shut down, resulting in the loss and tedious re-writing of this chapter.

Haga: Getting a laptop was like a message from God for this guy. Not only does it never auto-shut down, he no longer has to visit his friends or go to internet cafés to see Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei episodes.

In the end though, my old computer died. I still had a ton of data on that computer for other fanfics in progress! Plus a ton of my pictures were lost, online manga, anime episodes, MMORPG data…

Haga: The more I hear this, the more you sound like an otaku….

Hey, I only play MMORPGs on the side. Other than that, you could call me an otaku. I could be friends with Harumi. I hardly ever leave my room other than to eat, so you could also call me a hikikomori… but not to the extent of Komori. But for a person who enjoys being alone, I act extremely humble towards others…. Like Ai.

Ai: Yes?

No, I wasn't calling you Ai.

Ai: Sumimasen! I should've been listening!

Don't blame yourself! It was my fault for using you as a noun in a sentence when you were right there!

Haga: Not this again… they both seem to be ignoring the fact that Ai confessed to him last chapter… well, whatever helps them get along…

Chapter 13: Hiding the problem is more effective than Hiding From the problem.

Nozomu walked into his classroom. He looked around at all the semi-happy faces in class. Among them, he could not find the sunshiny smile he always found in his class. Kafuka Fuura. '… Oh well. I figured she wouldn't be here today.' He hadn't any doubt she was avoiding him.

"Good morning class… wait a minute, why is it good again? THERE IS NO GOOD MORNING!" Confounded by his own words, he quickly tried to come up with an ending to this meaningless banter. "Bland and Uninteresting Morning class."

'What the hell is he talking about?' Thought numerous members of the class.

Harumi looked around. Kafuka was nowhere to be found. Harumi pointed her fingers up and made ears with them to signal Abiru. Abiru caught the signal, and nodded. "Fujiyoshi-san, what are you doing?" Asked Nozomu.

"N-nothing, sensei." answered Harumi, wondering who it was that stupid signal was supposed to fool.

"You see class," said Nozomu continuing with his rant, "I'm revisiting the topic of, 'Misleading titles'. A 'Good Morning' for one, could be a 'Grumpy' or 'Unhappy' morning for another. Same goes for afternoons and evenings."

The class expected more. They waited.

"….. What? You were expecting me to go on? That's it."

Abiru raised her hand. "You aren't in despair about anything, are you?"

Nozomu looked down. "I am indeed. But I fear my reason for despair may endanger you all." Abiru and Harumi looked at each other. Then, they looked at Nami.

"What?"

Nozomu proclaimed that he hadn't any more to teach them for that day. He promptly left the class. After school let out, Abiru and Harumi took Nami and followed their sensei.

"Nami!" said Harumi, furiously. "Why did you tell him?"

"You mean Kafuka-chan's secret? I figured since he endorses non-reporting, he wouldn't ask Kafuka about it. Plus, he had to find out anyways."

"You were wrong! Apparently, he asked her about it, and now she won't even show up to class!" said Abiru.

"Sensei's life is in danger!" added Harumi.

"Oh no!"

The three followed Nozomu to his home. Nozomu opened up the closet, and in it, he found Komori. "I'm sorry. I'll just find another closet."

"Sens-" Nozomu closed the door before she could finish.

Before opening up his other closet, he suddenly thought, 'Won't she be expecting me to hide in my own house?' Nozomu fled his own house, and went to his parents' house.

In his search for the perfect closet for hiding, he stumbled across the largest closet in the world. It looked just like five living rooms in one, with three TV's, five of every existing game console, and a year's supply of food that would last him through the year.

"This is too perfect! She's bound to look in a closet built to hide a person!" So Nozomu deviates from the perfect hiding spot, and continues his search.

He then stumbles across a small closet. You could hardly call it a closet. It's door started at the floor, and slid up instead of down. There was only a floor area about two and a half feet high, four and a half feet wide, and 180 centimeters going inward. There were measurements on the side of the wall to confirm this.

"Ignoring the fact that the first two measurements don't follow the metric system, this is a near perfect hiding spot for me!" Nozomu Itoshiki: 177 centimeters tall. Nozomu put his feet in first and lay down on his stomach. Once he was secure, he shut the small door. "This impossibly small closet hasn't seen much use, seeing as how this is my first time seeing it." Said Nozomu.

"The floor that separates us makes it difficult for me to stare at you." Said Matoi from the equally sized closet space above him.

"You were there?!"

"Yes. Always…. You seem more shocked by that than you have in recent time…"

"Well, I was sorta used to it. You seemed to disappear for a while. I don't recall seeing you recently."

"Given the circumstances, I had to hide extra well." said Matoi.

"What circumstances?"

"I know everything."

"Ah." Seeing as how she is his stalker, it's not that surprising that she knows what's going on. If it is surprising, that's only because she really hasn't shown up in recent chapters…

Nozomu realized the error in her ways. "Tsunetsuki-san, you're in danger! I'm in here because I'm in hiding, but there's no reason for you to get involved!"

"I have actually been keeping my distance since after the school festival! Besides that, you have forgotten, haven't you?"

Nozomu was puzzled. "Forgotten what?"

Matoi sighed deeply. "My precious Zetsubou-sensei, I would die for you."

Nozomu pondered on that. 'I know her. She means it. But this is too much for a young woman…'

"Tsunetsuki-san, you don't realize that with that statement, you have worsened my guilt." Nozomu told her. "You do not realize that the term stems from the concept of Double Suicide. If anyone were to actually die protecting me, I'd feel despair worse than I had ever felt before." The tone of his voice was deepening. "My purpose in death is to leave everyone behind with as little trouble as possible. If you were to die, I wouldn't be able to kill myself! I'd just be leaving behind a problem in my death if someone else were to die protecting me!"

"It'd be a problem if you died, sensei." Said Abiru from outside the closet.

"Kobushi-san? What are you doing here?"

"I'm here too." said Harumi.

"So am I." said Nami.

"Why are you all here?" Asked a very confused Nozomu.

"You asked Kafuka about her past, didn't you?" Asked back a very annoyed Harumi.

"You shouldn't have done that." Said Abiru.

"You know the situation you're in, don't you?" Chimed in Nami.

"Yes, I know! I asked her about something I shouldn't know about, and now she's going to kill me!" It was at this moment that Nozomu had a revelation. "Wait a minute… this is all your fault!"

"Our fault?!"

"If you hadn't led me on about Kafuka-san, I wouldn't have asked her!"

"If you think back a few chapters, we just told you to ask someone looser. You assumed it was Nami, and you were right."

"Then it's Hitou-san's fault for telling me!"

"Eh?! No it's not!" Cried Nami.

"Well actually, it's not so much her fault for telling, as it is your fault for asking in the first place." Said Abiru.

Nozomu had another revelation. "This is all my fault!"

"Well, duh it's your fault." Said Nami.

"But what you don't realize is that when our sensei is in trouble, we'll be there to help him." Said Abiru.

"No matter what you may think, we've enjoyed our time with you as our teacher, and we want to continue with that." Said Harumi.

"You… all…"

"And I'll always be by your side." Added Matoi.

Nozomu shifted slightly as he thought. 'Why? Why for a person as worthless as me? If they get in trouble, they do it for nothing.'

"Alright! You can help me." Said Nozomu. "But the best way to help me would be to hide in the three tiny closets above Tsunetsuki-san!"

Nami, Harumi, and Abiru did as they were told, and hid in the three tiny closets.

"This is too small to be a closet!" Complained Nami.

"Well, she'd never think to look in a space too small." Replied Abiru.

"How did you find these closets anyway, Sensei?"

……….

"Sensei?"

………

"Sensei!" The three poked their heads out from their closets. Sensei's closet was open and empty, as was Matoi's. "He's gone!"

"That's not good!"

"He intends to stare death in the face without getting us in trouble…."

"Let's go get him!" Yelled Harumi.

Midpoint

Sorry. It seems as though having all three stories at the same time for more than one chapter was just a distant dream…

Haga: Originally, all three stories were shorter, and would fit into a single chapter without taking thirty pages. The conclusion to each was actually supposed to come this chapter…

But I figured the expanded story I had in mind was both less boring, and way less awkward.

Haga: Before he started his second continuing Zetsubou story, he wanted to include Paper Blogs like Koji Kumeta did at the end of each chapter.

But I figured the central topic surrounding the dramatic story was apparent enough. Today's topic: Hide and Seek. Last topic: Running away.

Haga: He saved the Paper Blogs for the more difficult topics he discusses in his new fic. Kihen, Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei.

I encourage all of you reading this to read that fic as well. Oh, and that story isn't the first story to try to mold itself around the formula of the actual story (if anything, they do it better than me). One of my favorites is Boku! Sayonara, Zetsubou Sensei Regrets by J3-Tan. Read it now! NOW!

Haga: A few more of his favorites include New Despair by atoms2ashes (ato-san), The Ultimate Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei Fanfiction by Sei-sama, and Locker by ills.

When I have the time, I'll tell you of a few more you should READ NOW.

Haga: Don't get him started. The guy loves SZS. Before he goes completely bonkers, Sayonara.

Sayonara!….. Zetsubou Sensei READ THOSE FICS NOW!

(a gag originally intended for Kihen).

End Midpoint.

Nami, Harumi, and Abiru looked everywhere for Nozomu. They looked for him at home. At school. In the trees. In that old abandoned porta potty. Inside Rineback. All to no avail.

Meanwhile, in the Park for Losers…

Nozomu looked around. "Kafuka-san. I know you're here."

From behind a tree came Kafuka. "Sensei." There were marks around her eyes, as though she cried them out all night. Despite that, she was smiling. "Please…"

"Please what? You want to, don't you?" Said Nozomu, no tone of comfort or despise in his voice.

"Just run…"

"While you feel you want to kill someone, you care too much without their corpse leaving an impression, a sense of guilt hanging over you like the guillotine of your psyche. That same sense of care stems from a positive attitude, where around everyone else, you act like it never happened."

"Please don't!" Said Kafuka, her smile disappearing.

"I'm sorry to play psychoanalyst, but I want to understand what goes through your head before I'm killed…" Said Nozomu, emotionless still. "Evil… and Positive…. A caring personality stems from a positive one…"

Kafuka said nothing to stop him. He was already deciphering her thoughts to the dot.

"You care… but you get some sort of fulfillment…."

"!!!!"

"What? I wouldn't think that I thought that you just killed willy nilly, did you?"

"I… did…" Kafuka began to sob.

"If you did, you wouldn't go for the ones you care about, would you?"

"*Sob*….*Sob*…"

"What's wrong?"

Kafuka cried as she said, "It's always been that way… everyone else I knew found someone to die for…"

"What?"

"My father loved my mother so much… they wanted to die together. He killed her, and then himself."

Nozomu was confused. 'Hitou-san told me she was the cause for her parents' deaths…'

"All because I told him to express his love to mama in the fullest…"

'…..oh.'

"I had to spend two years in a psychiatric hospital after being traumatized like that. When I was four. After exiting at the age of six, I had retained my positive attitude, but something was still there."

Nozomu was beginning to understand.

"I had been filled with a desire… to do what my daddy and mama did… I wanted to kill and die with the one I care for most."

"So you killed your friends? And that one group? And others?"

Kafuka nodded. "I want to kill you, but I don't. I don't know what I should be doing. All along, I've never had the courage to kill myself. I think I may have felt too guilty, like that was too easy."

"….. so kill me." offered Nozomu.

"Huh?"

"I'll make it easier on you by willingly dying by you hand. You won't feel any guilt killing a person prepared to die. So kill me."

Kafuka looked at him. She wanted to. She couldn't. She just didn't have it in her to kill her sensei. "I can't. I just… I won't."

Nozomu looked at her. "There, so you won't. Now stop torturing yourself about it."

Kafuka looked at him. "Sensei?"

"I'd be the one at fault, me being the cause for your mental breakdown. Come back to class."

Kafuka chuckled a little. "Always looking out for your students, huh Sensei?"

Nozomu looked away. "Well, you are all my responsibility. Apparently, a teacher has to look into a hikikomori in his class. I have to keep the stalker out of trouble. And I need to keep the crazy ones in check."

Kafuka laughed at his mention of all these silly things. "I already told you, there's no way any of those things could exist!" She was smiling.

"Well, lets go back to the classroom." Said Nozomu, showing subtle signs he was content that she was smiling again.

They walked back to the classroom together.

Kafuka had come to a realization. She had wanted to kill the one she loved because her father wanted to end it while they still loved each other. Kafuka now refused to believe that was true. 'They're just asleep! I'm sure they'll wake up by the time I fall that deep asleep.' She had changed her focus from, "Die while I'm still liked," to "Live together for as long as possible."

Nozomu had come to a realization. Every action he had made within the past few days… he did it because he cared about his students. Every student was important to him… He still thinks he isn't important. He still wants to die desperately, now fully convinced that his class was burdened by his existence. He had to find a way to die fast.

Both of these views conflict each other in a way or another. They each have come to a point in their life where they are making discoveries. But while Kafuka has what she has always wanted, It seems that Nozomu shall never be happy. Well… we shall see.

Endpoint

Haga: You came up with way too much original content. The readers don't want to read any of this crap.

What do you mean by that? *Vein popping*

Haga: It's just that even though this is an original story, you're shoving too much original backstory down the readers' throats. I already think you overdid it on Retsu Taibun.

While I do admit I made too much original backstory, the point was not to tell tales of the past. It was to explain everything that had happened up to this point.

Haga: You need to learn. This story started out simple, with a minimum of plot development. After the school festival, it was plot point original backstory hell. You originally wanted a story about the Harem Nozomu had.

Yeah, but then I realized that I should expand on the stories for everyone… because I can't do Harem stories properly.

Haga: That's true. The one Harem story you had, you only made two chapters for. And that was last year exactly.

Hey, I'm gonna start it up again!

Haga: And what ever happened to Linn Regiostar? Did you forget?

No! I just think that the first chapter contained WAY TOO much original backstory…

Haga: Just like this?

No! I was messing with the entire life of one of the characters, that's a completely different kind of way too much backstory…

Haga: So you admit you're using way too much original backstory…

….. I think I'll kill myself now.

Haga: I win.

Both: Sayonara!

(Suicide Theater: Not for the weak-hearted)

Life of Despair: Suicide Theater

Why? I'm such a bad author. I let everybody down when I said I'll continue the stories and I didn't. I take too long to upload. I write crappy enough stories as it is.

The police can't identify the body on the pavement. So much blood spilled on the ground, and the wall. The head cannot be found. All they can figure out was that it was a headfirst dive from the top of a tall building. Had they found the head, they would have seen the lifeless eyes of a worthless man, or the melancholic smile plastered on my face.

I…. am sorry.

End