These two people may be real, and it may make some people feel uncomfortable that I would take their story and twist it in my head, but I just wanted you guys to know that I do this with nothing but love. I love them more than anyone could know, and I gave up reading Real People Fic, and writing it, but somehow I got inspired to start back again at it. I really hope you like it, and support my work as much as I enjoy writing it. There will be more if you want it!
Disclaimer - I do not own them, although if I did it would be pretty awesome.
Love Me Tender
By: ValeriaCullen
Chapter One: Heart Break Never Ends
RPOV
Another day, another dilemma, another thought, another voice, another accident, another tragedy, another mistake.
In my life I had made tons of mistakes, and caused many accidents, most of them weren't intentional, I just always wanted something that I could not have. It wasn't as though I chose to be this way, it was just who I had become, the London born teen to the possible mega star, people were suddenly in charge of our careers, and in charge of everything. That night after I kissed Kristen it was more than a goodbye kiss, things had been strangely awkward between us, and I didn't understand why. Was it because we were discovering feelings that we shouldn't be having, her telling her mother that she wasn't sure if she had feelings for me, at this point it was obvious that I was in love with her and there was no way of turning back. I had dug the hole too deep to get myself out of it, and now I had to face the tragedy of loving and being and wanting and needing, in your heart the desires are hard to fight, wanting to be friends but also wanting to be more.
My phone sounded as I picked up, it was my manager Nick, "Hello?" I asked my voice sounded a bit groggy. I had just met a really amazing fan named Laura at MTV studios, she was a sweet girl and we had a blast together talking and watching a scene from Twilight. She didn't seem like one of those loony fans, she seemed normal, only frightened when I tapped her over the shoulder. I couldn't want to see her at the actual awards, Kristen and her could get on pretty well.
"Rob? I asked you a question...where did you go?" he asked, obviously I had been lost in my own thoughts again.
"Oh, sorry, just a bit tired, could you please repeat that?" I yawned asking him again.
"The studio-," before he could answer I cut him off.
"Summit?" I asked breathing out a single word, Summit Entertainment, filled with suits whose main job was to try and control us. They had tried to control Brad and Angelina with the press and look what happened there, they wont ever work with them again, I was tied to do 3 movies with them, and our contract has certain obligations...obligations I'd regretted signing to.
"Yes, Rob, Summit is concerned about you and Kristen's offscreen relationship," he told me, his voice cool and controlled.
"Our...what?" I asked confused, right now we were friends tipping on something more, I wanted more.
"Relationship, you heard me," he scolded.
"But...we don't...have...that...yet," I stammered through my words, playing with my fingers.
"Yet? Rob, that can't happen, you and Kristen have to remain professional, you are costars, if you guys get involved then it could put the saga in jeopardy if you guys break up," he paused breathing in heavily, "And you have a void in your contract that says you can't be involved with costars."
"I know that," I sighed, just many more reasons why I couldn't feel the way I do about her.
"You have to go get fitted for the show, Rob, and I have a meeting so I'll see you soon," Nick told me calmly, I hung up the phone somberly.
Thoughts of her consumed me again, the way her lips felt on mine when we kissed goodnight by the pool, her gorgeous olive eyes, that long mane of dark hair that brought out her porcelain skin, her long creamy legs that seemed to go on for miles even with her extremely petite frame. I was truly fucked, and madly in love, I had it and I had it BAD. As in B-A-D with a capital B, and there was no way of getting me out of it, no matter how hard I tried. I slumped back down, my hand running through my untamed locks, falling back, I wanted to see her again.
Soon.
KPOV
The fashion team and the whole state of friggin' California seemed to be staring at me in my living room, plans on getting me to look at least presentable was their goal, they wanted to get me out of my usual jeans and a t-shirt, and they wanted to enhance me somehow. My manager Nicole, publicist Ruth, John my teddy bear personal assistant and body guard, and my mother all sat around on different couches conversing about me as if I weren't there. Okay, that wasn't the entire state, but lately I had been feeling a bit overcrowded, and I needed alot more extra personal space to sort out my chaotic thoughts. I missed the feel of his lips on mine already, he had the softest, fullest, most perfectly shaped lips, and I just wanted to grab him by his incredibly untamed hair and...and...
"Kristen!" Nicole called loudly and rather abruptly, "Kristen, are you in there?"
"Yeah, I just zoned out, I was thinking about someone...I mean something," I quickly corrected myself, not before getting curious side glances from everyone in the room.
"Interesting...," she quipped, "anyways, you can't wear jeans and a t-shirt at an awards show, Kristen," she continued, I sighed heavily.
"I'd rather wear that, then be uncomfortable," I admitted honestly.
"Beauty is pain, Kristen," she told me, she was right, women tortured themselves to be beautiful, it was societies way of saying you weren't pretty unless you look this way or that way.
"Yeah, I guess you're right," I agreed.
"So we got you a stylist since we have seen your previous style and wardrobe," she commented.
"Oh...dear, you got me a stylist?" I asked, trying to calm myself.
"Just someone to help you pick appropriate outfits for events," she said, eying my casual Stones t-shirt and worn skinny jeans, casual sandles on my feet.
"Whats wrong with what I'm wearing, dude?" I asked her, cocking an eyebrow upward.
"Nothings wrong with your outfit, its hobo chique, totally the new in thing," an unfamiliar voice sounded.
"Hobo chique?" I asked the woman, Nicole and Ruth rushing to her side.
"This is Tara, your new stylist, Tara, this is Kristen, your...client," she said quietly.
"Hey, Kristen, you're a very pretty girl, so this will be easy," she said excitedly. I liked the woman already, her bright eyes and enthusiastic attitude made me more excited that she might put me in something that I actually liked and not something that I would hate.
"So I'm going to take Kristen into her room, is that okay?" she asked everyone, they all nodded as though it were fine.
She clasped my hand as I led her back to my room, she rolled a bookbag behind her, presumably with clothing in it, we arrived in my moderately sized room and she set down her bag, my phone chirped in my bag, I pulled it out and read the message discreetly.
I miss you. - Rob
My heart actually skipped a beat at his message, it was simply, abrupt and straight to the point, but it pulled at my heart strings, my boyfriend never texted me that he missed me, he just came back, and to be honest I never missed him either, we barely had a relationship going and we were barely friends anymore because of his jealousy for Rob, the relationship was basically falling apart, and the worst part I didn't care, I wanted it to.
"Texting your man?" Tara asked curiously.
"A man, not my man," I told her laughing.
"Oh, which man?" she asked again curious.
"Rob," I told her, "hes like my best guy friend, we did Twilight together and we became close."
"Robert Pattinson?" she asked, "that boy is a looker."
"He is quite sexy...," I trailed off.
"You like him, but you have a boyfriend correct?" she guessed, she was rather quick.
"Yeah, something like that," I admitted.
"I'm sorry, I guess we should talk about the clothes now if you'd like," she said changing subjects, we focused on the clothes for the next few hours, finally she let me settle on a pants suit combo thing, it was a black tank and black pants, and pumps, it was all Gucci and I kind of loved Gucci. She said I looked a bit Emo, but Emo was a good enough start on my way to woman hood and once she was done with me, I would be a fashion goddess, hopefully one day I would love putting on a new dress or a suit, but right now, I didn't care much for fashion. I told her my goodbyes along with everyone else, as my mom went into the kitchen for a moment, I sat on the loveseat in the living room and pulled out my phone, staring at the message, I decided I had to text him back.
Miss you too, British boy. - Kris
You're not busy or anything right? - Rob
Not at the moment, I finally found my MTV award thingy outfit xD - Kris
What is the outfit? *raises eyebrow* - Rob
It's a cute little number, jk, its dark pants and a dark tank, with heels. - Kris
Sounds like you. ;-) - Rob
Oh shush, where are you anyways? - Kris
Outside your house... - Rob
WTH -.- Really? - Kris
Yeah...Idk why but I came over...and Idk... - Rob
OIC. - Kris
Its bloody sticky out here, . Open your door. -.- -Rob
Fine. - Kris
I ran, literally ran to the door, excitedly, opening it to find the most gorgeous specimen known to mankind staring back at me, he was sporting dark raybans over his eyes, a fitted black t-shirt, and button fly jeans. He smiled broadly when he saw me, and it seemed as though the world would stop spinning and I probably would be too consumed in him to notice. He chuckled and his heavenly voice filled the room, then the awkwardness of our last meeting where I lips had touched and sparks had flown off the rooftops began to fill my mind again.
"Hi," I squeaked nervously.
"Hey, love," his honey voice melted over the words along with the fact that he said "love".
"Umm...so...how have you been?" I asked trying to find something to speak of.
"Well...good I mean my manager Nick has been up my ass lately about things and I got this blazer for the show, awards shows, kill me now, right?" he said making conversation, I decided to run with it.
"Yeah, my manager hired a stylist for me," I rolled my eyes dramatically.
"Ohhhh I remember, I can't wait to see you in it," he said excitedly, his eyes flashing with enthusiasm.
Suddenly a glass broke behind us, my mother walked in quietly, "Oh lord, Rob, I didn't see you there!" she said picking up the glass off the floor.
"I'm rather sorry for busting in, I was in the neighborhood...and...yeah," he explained, running to her side like the gentleman he is and helping her clean up the mess. After they were finished she smiled broadly at him and gave him a welcoming hug and nod, she left us alone in the living room to do whatever we wanted while she entertained some guests in the backyard and pool area.
"I'm in the mood for a movie," Rob said running to the DVD case, he pulled out Secret Window, which had to be one of the best Johnny Depp movies ever.
"You read my freaking mind, I've been wanting to watch Secret Window all day!" I said practically skip hopping to the couch and patting the spot next to me for him to join me, he gladly obliged and sat next to me, his huge smile brightened up the room as we began the movie. We shared all of the favorite parts and ended up talking about things all the way through the movie, Rob was one of those people who had seen single movie that had ever been made and had an opinion about each one like he'd taken notes on it. I was a similar person to that so we would end up just talking for hours about various films.
"What does Jack Nicholson have to do with this?" I asked raising an eyebrow.
"I don't know, I think hes the single-most amazing actor of our time," he admitted.
"You said I was the best actor of our generation? Liar!" I said playfully hitting him with a pillow.
"Time and generation are two different things, Miss. Stewart," Rob said, he was incredibly quick witted.
"That is true, but you need to get over your mancrush on Jack, its not going to happen, hes happily married," I joked.
"I can be his other woman," Rob said jokingly, this made me giggle.
"Boo, you whore!" I said laughing, we both ended up giggling for a few minutes before a loud cough interrupted us.
I looked up to see Micheal standing there observing our playful and flirtatious behavior, Rob's hand was settled on my waist in a more in a more than friendly way, to an outside observer we would appear to be more than friends, Rob and Micheal immediately got up and faced each other, Rob obviously towered him like an elf, having height as his advantage.
"Kris, what is this I see?" he asked motioning between Rob and myself.
"We were watching a movie," I explained.
"I see...," he said, just eying Rob like he wanted to punch him square in his perfect square jaw.
"Well...I'd better take off I'm quite knackered, I'll see you soon, Kristen...Micheal..," he said politely, "cheers." he said quietly as he excited the front door. When he was fully gone and out of earshot Micheal began throwing daggers at him, not literally but...you know, if he could throw daggers at Rob, he probably would.
"So, I come in and see you two all friendly and shit on the couch, what is that?" he asked me, jealously.
"Nothing, we were just hanging out, and if you want to start something with me over Rob today, you can just leave right now," I said pointing to the door, in front of us.
"Fine, I'm not in the mood for this...," he said exiting out the same door Rob had just left through, I didn't want to fight, not today.
RPOV
Day of the MTV Movie Awards...
I was humming a song in bed, one of my favorite tunes by Van Morrison, stroking my guitar and thinking of Kristen...my world. I began singing and strumming Crazy Love by Van Morrison, singing from my heart to the empty room, it seemed fitting for my feelings at the moment.
"I can hear her heart beat for a thousand miles
And the heavens open every time she smiles
And when I come to her that's where I belong
Yet I'm running to her like a river's song
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love
She's got a fine sense of humor when I'm feeling low down
And when I come to her when the sun goes down
Take away my trouble, take away my grief
Take away my heartache, in the night like a thief...'
I stopped singing abruptly when the phone sounded, thinking it was Kristen, I chucked my guitar to the floor and ran to the telly, only to see Tom's number on the screen, usually I would be excited to receive a call from my best friend, but honestly today I wanted to hear from Kristen.
"Hey, mate," I said non-enthusiastically.
"Well, I'm excited to hear from you too," Tom quipped sarcastically.
"I've just been busy as hell lately, an I've got quite alot on my brain," I admitted quietly.
"Like a girl?" Tom asked curiously.
"Yeah...a girl," I admitted again.
"I knew it, Sam and Lee said you were whipped over this American girl, is she fit?" he asked.
"Shes rather fit, shes beautiful," I sighed heavily.
"Who is she?" he asked again.
"Kristen Stewart...the one from that movie we watched before I went to American for that audition, which happened to be with her," I said calmly, trying to contain my voice.
"Oh shes hot...really hot," Tom commented.
"Shut up, you, bloke," I said.
"Jeez, I was just saying," he told me playfully.
"Well, I have to be going now, but I'll talk later, or video chat or something," I said before hanging up the phone.
I got ready shortly after doing barely nothing to tame my wild hair, just putting some moose and gel in it, I decided not to shave so much and go with a little scruff, and decided to wear all black like Kristen to go with my grey blazer, I was set to go and headed down to the awaiting limo. Upon arriving at the arena, I saw no signs of Kristen so I waited, when she approached, I saw how beautiful and gorgeous she looked. Her hair was a bit darker, she had dyed it fully black, but it worked for her all black outfit that seemed to hug all the right places and those heels...they made her legs look extremely long. She along with Micheal met me behind where the fans were gathered, I noticed that we matched alot, we had the same all black, raybans style, we looked like a couple, and in my dreams we were.
"Look at us all matchy matchy," Kristen pointed out as she giggled.
"I know, we look like quite the pair, you an I," I quipped.
"Yeah, we're those weirdos from Twilight," Kristen joked.
A woman instructed us to take photos on the carpet for the pre-show, and at the end they would present a clip, so that meant we had to do a bit of press on the actual carpet, since now one had a clue who we were, while we were taking photos we laughed and joked and had fun, the times where she was with me she seemed so much happier than when she was with him. We did many interviews and nothing went wrong, until one of the last ones with a lady from MTV, she asked if were were a couple in real life.
"One thing they want to know, is you guys have an amazing romance on the screen, is there anything offscreen between you two?" she boldly asked, Kristen shifted nervously, pointing the mike my way, great time to make a bloody fool out of myself.
"Oh yeah, I mean I asked her to marry me like 4 times, and it just...fizzled out," I joked awkwardly.
"I'm so sorry about that, maybe you'll reconsider?" she asked Kristen, she was getting a kick out of this.
"Oh no man, I've required like a good buddy, and thats really important," Kristen said, after the words good buddy my heart stung, my head slumped the the side, the pain from her words went from the bottom of my stomach into my throat like vile, it really did hurt a bit to hear what we were, and I couldn't quite hide how much it hurt me, my heart laid on my shoulders all the time. When she averted her gays and eyes to me to look at her, I didn't reciprocate, and for the rest of the interview felt pretty much like a ghost. After the carpet they showed the clip and I ran off to a lone area to smoke a cigarette consumed by my thoughts at the moment. I didn't expect it to hurt so much when she said "buddy", I knew we had to be on the verge of more, she made it sound like I was some pet that was comfortable to have around, and when Laura approached me, I hugged her and talked with her a bit, while Kristen shot daggers with her eyes at the girl, and when our eyes met I knew she felt the electicity I felt as she quickly put on her glasses. I didn't know how long I could keep doing this to myself before I cracked and broke down, I didn't know how long I was capable of being strung along like a fool, like a friend, like a buddy, when I felt like this inside. I couldn't.
"Fuck my life," I whispered taking another deep puff of my cigarette.
"You shouldn't curse, especially not to yourself," a soft, thoaty voice caught my attention, it was her.
"Yeah, I probably shouldn't," I mumbled softly.
"Yeah, Rob?" she asked, "can...I have some of that cigarette?" I asked quietly.
"Sure," I told her calmly, I handed her the cigarette, and she inhaled beautifully, the smoke filtered around in an "O" shape.
"I'm sorry...for hurting you today," she blurted, "I didn't mean to and I don't mean to hurt you, its just everything is so complicated and I didn't know what to say before I spoke," she said her words were rushed and filled with remorse, "I didn't mean to hurt you."
I did the only thing I could think of at the moment, I embraced her, held her in my arms, she did not cry, but she shook, the cigarette fell to the ground but I did not care, we stayed like this for a long while before she looked back up at me, and before I pushed away the single tear that fell from her eyes.
"We should get to the inside, the shows probably halfway through by this point," I told her, honestly not wanting to let this tiny bubble we had go.
"Okay...lets go," she agreed. And we took off to the theater for another torturous two hours of hiding our feelings again, this would be a long long year.
I have no excuse for not updating, and if you're still here with me, I'm so very glad you are. I don't know why, but I just kept losing it, and losing it and rewriting it again and again. I wanted it to feel right you know? I didn't want to crank out a chapter that was meaningless just to update, I wanted it to have some depth, and when I originally wrote it, it was just going to be Rob's POV, but I decided to re-write the whole chapter including a Kristen POV. I wanted the story to come from both sides, to show they both had those feelings. I'm not sure when the next update will be, but I really want to try, i hope I can.
If you want to connect with my, follow me on twitter at valeriacullen4 and ask me anything you want. I'd gladly appreciate it.
Finally, you don't have to review if you don't want to, because I've been a bad author with my minimal updates.
Love you guys forever.
Val.