Best writer ever Sais: chapter 8-

The falling angel in blue pants

Nearly there, and you cant help but love this story, can you?

Vince's POV

"He's right here." Said a cockney voice that could make a child weep.

We all turned around. There stood the Hitcher, child in hand. I gasped. How the hell did that car crash not kill him? And I couldn't help but wonder where Bob Fossil went… but there were more relevant matters right now- like the fact I had only one shoe on. People would think I was a glittery tramp! Anyway, I was shit scared.

"Ahh, you are a good man for bringing Kirk to us. These psychopathic freaks here have been put to shame in contrast of a saint like you." Spoke the shaman guy.

This guy obviously had no idea what was really going on.

"Saint? Ohh, I tell you sonny I have maimed many a good man, as for these two, it will be more like maiming gophers. Let me at them and ill slice 'em. Slice 'em and make gopher pie!"

The shaman guy was starting to get a clue. "Then, my good man, you shall return Kirk and duel me for rights of murder for these two." Ok, now I was really shitting myself. Literally. I was almost touching cloth.

I was about to ask if I could use a toilet when the fight broke out. Swords were flying everywhere. I didn't even know where this number of swords could come from. And what was up with guys in cloaks and swords anyway?

I was kind of hoping the shaman would win, and for me and Howard to be killed in a humane way. That was until he got stabbed. With my shoe.

I had absolutely no idea how, but the Hitcher had the heel of my shoe and the shaman impaled on the end of it. I looked down. No shoes on. Hey, at least I looked like a tramp, and not like some drunk girl who lost her shoe at a party.

We were going to die. And be turned into pie. Hey, I did a rhyme.

Saboo's POV

I had been beaten up by an electro poof and his dad, and my hand hurt like hell.

I was returning to the shaman council board to alert them when it looked like they had found out themselves.

There were swords all over the ground (since when had we stocked that many swords exactly?), the electro poof and his dad were standing around, looking dazed, and Dennis was impaled on the end of a shoe by a green man with a polo attached to his face. I'm a shaman, and even I think this is bizarre.

I ran over to Dennis. "What the hell is going on?" I yell at him, feeling angry and frustrated at him, but Dennis had already gone blank. I looked up to the man with the polo, and felt anger and resentment towards him.

He already had the zoo keepers backing away, arms in the air. I uncharacteristically feared for their safety. Oh look, at least Kirk was safe. This had to be the weirdest day of my life.

Bob Fossil's POV

Ok, I'm absolutely terrified beyond my wits. If I had any.

I'm hiding up a tree in hope that maybe if I'm quiet enough, the scary people will go away and Vince would be fine, and we could all just go back to the zoo and skip around like happy little dust bunnies and pretend none of this ever happened.

I knew things wouldn't work like that, but I could still hope, right? And this is where you say no and I get annoyed and it results in me shitting my blue pants and later resorting to dancing in my office to take my mind off things.

Sorry, I'm just stressed.

Suddenly, I saw Vince (oh, and Howard I suppose) backing up against the tree I was in, with the hat man coming at them with a knife. Or was it a sword? I couldn't tell. I worried for my Vince. Then I worried for me.

I was up so high, and if I fell without a break pad I would break my neck or something.

I was beginning to question the logic of hiding in a tree when scared, when I heard a small sound. Like a door being unlocked.

I turned around to see a small man in a cloak and a turban tied up in my hiding tree.

"SABOO YOU BALL BAG!" he yelled, scaring the shit out of me and my blue pants. I temporarily lost balance out of fright and fell right out of the tree.

Howard's POV

And none other than Bob Fossil fell out of the tree, and right onto the Hitcher.

I was startled at his sudden appearance, and relieved at the Hitcher's downfall. I sighed in relief.

"Fossil, you stupid genius!" yelled an elated Vince. He was clearly less shocked that Bob Fossil had fallen from the sky. "You saved us you- you- I can't think of a name for what you are!"

I assure you, I was just as happy to be alive as Vince was, just less expressive and a little comprehensive at the fact Bob Fossil had saved us. This would be his excuse on why I don't get paid this week.

We lifted him off the Hitcher and helped him to his feet.

"Small man, tree, I… "He was about to say something more when we heard another voice from the tree.

"Are any of you ball bags gonna get me out of this tree, or do I have to get Dennis?" and guess who had to climb up there to get him down? That's right. Me.

After about half an hour of climbing a tree and helping a guy I'd never met, we managed to get the small man down.

"Naboo." He said, turning to Vince, not even registering my existence. But I didn't mind anymore.

"Vince. And nice turban by the way, you get that from top shop?"

I suppressed a laugh at the bizarre look the apparent Naboo gave Vince at that moment. It was half way between exasperation and amusement.

So me, Vince, Bob Fossil and Naboo walked back to the shaman board, and approached a smiling head shaman and a grumpy sword wielding bastard.

That moment, Bollo came out of nowhere and gave Naboo a hug. Then I understood. Well, not really, but I'd like to think I did. And then…

The author leaves you on yet another cliff hanger! Mwhaha! Come back for the finale next time (yes, the next one is also the last) on the next airing of; 'I'm an absolute genius and I deserve a trophy for modesty!'