A/N: I'm on summer holiday now! That means updates should be coming thick and fast ;) Enjoy chapter 4!

Disclaimer: I'm even poorer and own even less of ANYTHING now that it's summer and I have no job. So yeah, Twilight isn't mine.

OoOoOoOoOoO

EPOV

Waking up on Monday morning I actually felt a little sick, and for the first time in a while it wasn't alcohol induced or self-inflicted. I had to hand in my piece of shit essay by twelve o'clock today and I knew Bella did too which meant the chances of me running into her were greatly fucking increased. Generally the only time I ever saw her was during class on Wednesdays and Fridays, what with me being in the labs on the other side of campus and all.

Now that I'd finally manned up and spoken to her I didn't really have a fucking clue what to do next. I wasn't used to this shit! I hadn't dated in literally forever. The only time I ever seemed to go on dates nowadays was when Emmett or Jasper forced me to take out the reject best friend of whatever chick they were hoping to score with. Hey, don't look at me that way, it's the truth! All guys know it. Whenever a girl is all "Do you have anyone you could bring, it's just my best friend is single at the moment..." and blah blah blah, then you know there's a reason she's single.

I'd been flat-out refusing to go on any of those dates for months now...ever since a certain brunette waltzed into my life in fact. And now I finally had a reason to talk to said brunette which could only lead to good things, right?

So anyway, I got it into my head that I was bound to bump into her at the English Literature Office. Today was the day and I was totally psyched up and ready to go. I had all my lines worked out in my head, "How is your hand?" "Did you need stitches?" "Did you wait very long in the ER?" Yeah, I know they're all pretty lame but I had to start somewhere and knowing what she'd done to her hand gave me an in.

Needless to say when I arrived at the office and Mrs Cooper, the 60 year old receptionist who was permanently angry, was the only one in sight, I was more than a little disappointed.

Whatever. I'd been waiting months to speak to her; it's not as if two more days were going to make that much difference anyway.

Feeling considerably less fucking buoyant than I had on my way down I began to make my way back to my apartment. In my eagerness I'd handed the stupid fucking essay in at the crack of dawn (I figured Bella to be the studious, organised type) and I now had a few hours to kill before my afternoon lab.

I'd only got about ten minutes towards my place when my phone started ringing.

"What do you want, Jasper?" There was no way Jasper would be awake before eleven unless he was after something.

"Dude, I know you said never again after the chick with the obsession with Justin Bie-"

"No, Jasper. Don't even bother."

"Edward, please! I am literally begging you! I met this chick last night and I think I may be in love with her already."

"You met her last night? Honestly? Where?" I'll admit I was a little intrigued. Although Jasper was far from celibate and had his fair share of the ladies, he wasn't one to throw around words like 'love' lightly. I was starting to wonder if he was high.

"Just at a bar in town. She was having a drink with one of her friends but she fucked off somewhere and her other best friend was at home writing an essay. I'm meant to be seeing her tonight but uh, she kind of wants to bring a friend now."

"Hang on. So you arranged to go out, just you two, and now she wants to bring a friend?"

Silence.

"Jasper, what the fuck's going on?"

"Okay, fine. Yes, we arranged to go out for tonight, like a proper date, but then we carried on drinking, and like, seriously, she is so hot, wait 'til you see her. And, well, you know how it is."

"Jasper did you fuck this girl the night you met her?"

"Uh, yeah, maybe. Just a little."

I snorted, "Wow, she sounds like a real classy lady."

"Fuck off, Edward, don't talk about her like that. You don't get it, it's not like that. I seriously like this girl, but I think she might be a bit embarrassed now and wants to bring her friend for moral support."

I sighed deeply into the phone. Jasper sensed weakness and went in for the kill.

"Dude come on, please! I will owe you, for like, fucking ever. And I'll never ask you to double date ever again!"

"Why can't you ask Emmett? I'm sure he'll say yes."

"Have you not listened to anything I've said? I like this girl! You know what Emmett's like. He'll probably end up sleeping with her friend and never calling her again and that'll completely fuck me over 'cause then I'll be in the bad books for bringing him!"

"How do you know I won't do that?" I asked suspiciously.

"As if, Edward. You wouldn't do that anyway, and we all know you're hung up on this Bella chick. So come on, please? Will you do it?"

He had me. And to be honest he sounded like he really did like this girl, whoever she was. "Ergh, fine. Fine!"

"Edward you are AWESOME! I'll be by yours at 8! Wear something nice, we're going for dinner! Thank you!" And then he hung up.

Great.

Yet again I was stuck playing matchmaker to some sad girl that couldn't get a date of her own while Jasper worked his charm offensive on the real catch; though by the sounds of things this one might actually stick. Not that Jasper, Emmett and myself were man whores or anything, there were far worse guys out there than us. Let's just say the right girl hadn't come along for any of us yet. Well, I think mine had, it was just the matter of talking to her that was the problem, and it looked like Jasper had finally found his match. Just Emmett left then...

As I made my way into my apartment I could hear my TV was on. Jasper had just got off the phone to me which left only...

"Emmett?" I called.

"Hey, Edward! How's it going?"

"Why are you here, Emmett?" I asked wearily, flopping myself down on the sofa next to him.

"There's a bit of a, uh, situation, over at my place. So I'm just lying low 'til it blows over," he replied, looking more than a little nervous.

"What now?"

"Lauren."

And with that one word I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Lauren Mallory... now where to do I start with that girl. I suppose the obvious thing to say is that she's Emmett ex-girlfriend, but that would be putting it way more fucking simple than it actually is. To be honest, I think they only actually dated for about six months or something and the entire time they were together was like living in purgatory. Imagine the most possessive, psycho, scary ass bitch you can and then multiple it by ten and you're almost at the level of Lauren.

Some examples:

To begin with she did all of the usual things that possessive scary girlfriends do. She read his text messages, hacked into his emails, went through his Facebook, etcetera. But then Emmett finally got a clue and about six weeks ago he broke up with her. Well, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned has taken on a whole new meaning since then. Regularly Emmett has arrived home to find her sitting on his porch waiting for him. If she sees his car out then she will wait by the car until he returns to it. She even managed to get onto his Facebook and delete every single female friend he had, including his own family. She calls at all hours of the day and night and as if all this wasn't bad enough, she decided to step up her game about two weeks ago.

We still don't have a fucking clue how she managed to do it, but when Emmett came home from class and opened his door when he switched on his light he found one Lauren Mallory sitting on his couch waiting for him. Yes, she was inside his apartment. Personally, I think she stole a spare key from when they were together but Jasper is convinced she scaled the building Spiderman-stylie and broke in through an open window. Normally I would dismiss this idea, but with Lauren anything was possible.

"What has she done now?" I asked cautiously, a little scared of the answer.

"Meh, nothing new. She was sitting on the doorstep when I got back there earlier but I saw her before she saw me and turned around and came here. I can't deal with her this morning," he said, shaking his head as he spoke.

"Dude, you're going to have to get a restraining order, you do realise that?" Things had already gone too far. Enough was seriously e-fucking-nough.

"I know," he sighed. "I'll go down to the police station in the morning."

"You've been saying that for weeks. You've already had your locks changed and your phone number changes on a weekly basis. You've got to sort this Emmett!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. It's fine, I've got it all under control."

"Whatever you say, dude. I'm just glad it's you and not me," I laughed.

OoOoOoOoOoO

I spent the rest of the day imagining what horrors awaited me on this evening's date. In the past I had been subjected (yes that's right, fucking subjected) to a string of complete bimbos, a girl that thought Justin Bieber was the second coming of Christ, girl's that ate nothing, girl's that ate everything, girl's that had just been just been dumped and wouldn't stop crying, you get the idea. No good ever came of these dates. And whether it was Jasper or Emmett I was helping out, which ever fucker it was always ended up abandoning me and leaving me with whatever disaster I was paired up with for the night.

Jasper was going to owe me massively.

He finally pulled up in front of my apartment at about ten to eight with a massive stupid grin on his face.

"You can wipe that fucking smirk of your face because I am not happy about this, okay?" I said as I climbed into his car and buckled myself in.

"Ha, no way. I am far too blissed out," he replied, grinning even more.

"Blissed out?" I laughed. "Did you honestly just say that?"

"I sure did, because that's how I feel. Just wait 'til you meet her Edward, she's perfect."

"Mhmm, so you said. Care to tell me anything more about her than that?"

"Well...she's pretty short, like a lot shorter than me, but it suits her," he said, his stupid smile growing even more. "She's got hazel eyes, dark hair..." he trailed off.

"Don't suppose she has a name?" I asked, smiling myself. Jasper's happiness was kind of contagious.

"Oh. Yeah, of course she does. She's called Alice."

You know that feeling you get, when your heart sort of stops, and it sort of speeds up at the same time? And your stomach gets that feeling where it drops and your blood runs cold?

Pretty much sums up how that felt. But come on, how many Alice's must live in and around Washington? Fucking loads.

"Um, Jasper? When you say she's short, how short do you mean?" Better try and clear this up.

"Like, really fucking short. Like just pushing five feet short, but honestly, it suits her," he said, looking at me eagerly and nodding his stupid head.

So, she's called Alice, has dark hair and is super tiny by the sounds of things. His Alice couldn't be Bella's Alice, could it?

"Did she mention what her friend is called that she's bringing? Or what she looks like or anything?"

Please say Isabella, please say Isabella, please say Isabella.

"Nah, sorry dude, this is going to truly be a blind date for you. And honestly, I know how much you hate them, and said you'd never go on one again, but I can't express how much it means to me..."

I zoned Jasper out.

If this Alice was who I suspected it was then the chances are her friend was going to be Bella. Fuck. An entire evening getting to know her, where, hopefully, there would be no broken glass, or mugs and no literary fucking theory to destroy my soul. I couldn't believe my chances! Here I was expecting the worst when it could turn out that I was going to get the very best! Looks like I might not have to wait two days after all, I was going to get to spend this very evening with her.

We finally pulled up to the restaurant and both of us stepped eagerly out of the car, and there she was! Outside the restaurant already waiting! Jasper's and Bella's Alice was the exact same person!

"Jazz!" Short stuff exclaimed, throwing herself into his arms. She sure as hell didn't look embarrassed about whatever they got up to last night to me.

"Hey Ali," he cooed. Oh gag. They were so sickly sweet it was making me sick. "This is Edward," he said, taking a step to the side so as to showcase me.

I smirked as Alice's eyes widened in recognition and her mouth opened in surprise.

"Nice to meet you properly, Alice," I said, turning on the charm. It couldn't hurt to get into the best friend's good books right?

"Edward, wow, hi," she stammered. I looked away from her and tried to search for Bella but I couldn't see her chestnut locks anywhere.

"And where is –"

But I didn't get a chance to finish my sentence because I was interrupted by a sound that had been haunting me since Sunday when we were in the coffee shop.

"Edward, this is Rosalie," Alice said, stepping aside to reveal the, once more, cackling blonde bitch.

Fuck. My. Life.

I fucking knew these dates never a good idea.

OoOoOoOoOoO

A/N: Sorry for the short chapter but I think there was a good place to stop! So like I say, I'm now on summer holiday which means updates should be MUCH more frequent. I had some really bad news a couple of weeks ago, which kind of knocked the writing out of me but I've come to terms with stuff now and I'm back on track!

Porcelain Cement should be updating Monday, so keep an eye out for that!

I've got twitter now, so follow me! /Green_eyesx

Also, check out our competition blog! We're running an Alice themed contest atm, which I wrote a o/s, 'All I Ever Wanted', as an example entry for. Check out the contest! http:/fanfiction-challenges. blogspot. com/

Until next time my dears!