Disclaimer: Penguins of Madagascar and all related characters are the property of Nickelodeon, DreamWorks, and any or all related affiliates. This fiction was created for the purpose of having fun and being creative, no money is being made in any from it's creation and posting.

Paternity Pursuit

Chapter 5

By

Wildgoose

(The scene flashes back to NYC inside of a third story corner apartment with a balcony. The living room of the apartment is quiet with exception to the news which is on the flat screen T.V nearby playing at a very low volume and the room is moderately lit from sunlight filtering through a set of tan curtains in front of a pair of sliding glass doors that lead out to a small balcony. On the couch lies the night time zookeeper apparently recovering from his hospital visit as one of his legs is in a cast and there are multiple large bruises about his body. The smell of something cooking lightly fills the room as a woman hums to herself in the adjacent kitchen.)

Zookeeper: (Begins to stir as he clutches his head with both hands as a result of a large headache.) Oh my god, who's doing all of that humming? My head is killing me. (Opens his eyes and looks about the room.) Um alright, …change of surroundings. (calls out loudly) Humming person, …where am I.

Woman: (calls from the kitchen.) Where do you think you are?

Zookeeper: Well, this can't be hell or you'd be my seventh grade biology teacher and this can't be heaven because I think God hates me. (long pause) The last thing I remember I was in the hospital, so where am I now?

Woman: My place, ..you couldn't find your keys when the hospital was ready to discharge you so I brought you here. Besides, ..the Doc. Said that somebody has to be around to keep an eye on you for the next week or so to make sure nothing else bad happens to you and since as far as anybody knows you don't have any family left, you're stuck with me. But no matter, because here you are.

Zookeeper: (dryly) Here I am, but I still can't place your voice from here so step out from the shadows already. Do you have your head stuck in a pot or something? ( Alice walks out from the kitchen and smirks at him.)

Alice: The oven actually, the top heating element doesn't always come on when it's supposed to so you have to finagle with it. ( Pauses as the Zookeeper is staring at her.) What?

Zookeeper: Nothing, ..I think this is the first time I've ever seen you out of uniform, …and your hairs down. That too. (Alice blushes a little.)

Alice: Gimme a break, Steve. You act like you've never seen a women before.

Steve: And you keep on truckin' with that delusion of grandeur. (he pinches his sinuses from his headache and sits up achily with moans and groans.) Although I think this is probably the first time I've ever noticed that you have curves, the uniform makes you look like a pole with a red bun and a cap at the top.

Alice: (rolls her eyes and smirks weakly) Well, you noticed I'm female. That's a start I guess.

Steve: (notices an expression on Alice's face that he's never seen before and realizes he's unduly hurt her.) I didn't mean to put it like that , Sarcasm is just what I do when I'm around people. I'm not a people person, that's why I work at night.

Alice: I never would have guessed, you seemed so normal to me.

Steve: (amused) So you do have training in the Sith art of sarcasm, there may be hope for you yet.

Alice: I'm not a fan of Star Wars, weirdo.

Steve: Well, there's goes the one happy thought I've had in a while. Thanks for giving it a good flush down the toilet.

Alice: (Dismisses his comment and gives an eggar to please smile.) So, …all of that aside. You're okay with staying here? How do you feel about it?

Steve: (looks about at the place and then takes a good long look at Alice.) Have you ever read "Misery" by Steven King?

Alive: No, why?

Steve: Nothing, ..it's not important. So the doctor talked to me or you before we left the hospital, what'd the guy say?

Alice: Nothing you don't already know, concussion, bumps and bruises, a broken leg, and from time to time you would mumble things about barbequing a penguin. You seemed to have stopped the latter so the Doc. assumed you were coming back to your senses.

Steve: Barbequed penguins, …right. I think I'm doing much better now so I don't think there will be any of that anytime soon. (Pause) So what happened at work?

Alice: Um let's see, …vet and security offices were burnt to the ground, you were beaten to a pulp, and the penguins and the otter were abducted by some animal rights group. Oh, and they stole money out of your wallet and left behind a comical note.

Steve: (scowls and checks the wallet in his pocket, sure enough the cash is gone.) Well there goes the best two hundred bucks I never spent. (pause) Comical note? What did it say?

Alice: It was written in crayon saying "we owe you money, from Rico."

Steve: Who's Rico?

Alice: Nobody knows, the cops were hoping you'd know. They'll likely want to talk to you once they find out that you've left the hospital.

Steve: Well that's great, I was just wondering if my day could get any better.

Alice: Don't be such a sour puss, they're just trying to help.

Steve: (stares at Alice for a moment) Why are you being so nice to me? We only cross paths at shift change and speak to each other equally as often.

Alice: Somebody's got to do it, and we need you to recuperate and come back to work. The animals have just gone strange since you left.

Steve: I wasn't planning on going back to work. Things have gotten a little too weird for me lately.

Alice: Too weird for a weirdo? Ha..! (clears her throat) Let me rephrase my previous statement, ..I need you to come back to work because the animals have just gone strange without YOU.

Steve: Meaning…?

Alice: Look, …you gotta swear you won't breathe a word of this to anybody. Since you left one of the chimps has started talking to me.

Steve: (Straightens himself up) Talking to you..?

Alice: (Throws her arms up in the air.) I Know, and if I say anything about it to anybody they'll think I've gone loco or have been at this job so long it's getting to me.

Steve: No offense, Alice. But chimps talking to you? I'd start to think you'd lost it too.

Alice: Well, not talking, talking. Talking as in sign language. (Pauses as Steve stares at her for bit.) My dad went deaf when I was a kid so my whole family had to learn it.

Steve: I didn't ask.

Alice: Then stop staring at me weirdo. (Steve holds up his hands in apology.) So anyway one of the chimps started talking to me and won't shut up, every time I come near the pen it starts up again. It's the same thing every time, "we're not happy, bring back the zookeeper." I'm assuming the animal means you.

Steve: So this whole thing, taking care of me so I'll recover, is so I can come back to work and make the chimp stop talking to you?

Alice: (Grins sheepishly) That's a major part of it, yea.

Steve: Well I should have known I didn't have any friends by accident. Just out of curiosity, what's the minor part of it?

Alice: (stands there for a long period of time looking as if she's having an internal debate.) I wanted to help you because I really like you and wanted a chance to get to know you before I grow old, grey, and wind up alone as a spinster with thirty cats and nobody else to talk to but them. (Stops to catch her breath as her face has turned as red as her hair in embarrassment.)

Steve: You know during the past few years of employment I did not at any time expect to hear that from you or anybody else. (Looks extremely unsure as what to say next.) You're not going to follow that block buster up with a strip tease or something are you because I don't think my brain can withstand another traumatic event right now. (Watches as Alice turns away as if she intends to cry, As she does so he can see he's gone too far with the sarcasm and mentally kicks himself.) Aww crap, …Alice…. (Alice has already walked away into her room and closed the door.)

(The scene snaps back to Philadelphia inside the female penguin's H.Q., All of the penguins are sitting wherever possible while engaged in a meeting.)

Syron: So how is it that Antarctic command never sent orders regarding your arrival?

Skipper: Because there weren't any, this operation is strictly below radar.

Private: The truth is that we came because of Marlene. Apparently our zoo is trying to breed a few otters to be shipped to other zoo's.

Erin: Wait, what exactly do you guys mean by "Breed."

Kowalski: Our intelligence tells us that the humans violated Marlene with genetic material obtained from a male otter housed at this facility for the purpose of creating more otters to be relocated to other zoo's.

Pepper: And you guys are sure that the stuff came from this zoo?

Kowalski: Absolutely. Our objective was to bring Marlene here to at the very least meet the father of her children in hopes that he might want to be involved with them in one form or another.

Marlene: Hey guys, …I'm right here. I'm certain I can tell my own sob story, thank you very much.

Kitsune: (Up to this point she had been sitting on her bunk sharpening a penguin size katana. As soon as Marlene is finished her sentence she stands up and ingests the blade to put it away and then makes a long series of gestures.)

Skipper: Um, sorry. I don't think I got any of that. How about you guys? (Skipper turns to look at his group to see all of them shaking their heads no.)

Syron: Kitsune said that if the material came from this zoo than the father of Marlene's pups could only have come from Antonio.

Kowalski: How exactly did you get all of that, ..that didn't look like any sign language we've ever seen. And we should know, ..one of the chimps in our zoo speaks it on a regular basis.

Syron: It was HER sign language, and we understand it because we know her.

Private: Is she deaf? (Kitsune stomps her foot, crosses her flippers and turns her back to them.)

Syron: Kitsune says that she can hear you just fine and she's insulted by the fact that you keep speaking about her instead of to her.

Skipper: Well look who's…. (Pepper quickly reaches over and closes Skipper's beak for him.)

Pepper: If I could interject for just a moment, …. whatever you were about to say would have been a REALLY bad idea. Enough said. (Pepper retreats to her seat.)

Private: Allow us to offer our apologies then. Peace? (Kitsune slowly unfolds her flippers and turns around to face Private. She then bows her head but to him only.)

Pepper: She's accepted your apology on behalf of your comrades but not your commanding officer.

Skipper: (grumbles) Oh all right, .. I'm sorry that I was about to insult you. I would be honored to learn why it is that you don't speak, Kitsune. (Kitsune smiles, bows her head to him, and makes a short series of gestures. Skipper then looks about for a translation.)

Syron: She said she'd be happy to tell that tale at another time but for now it would be better to get back to the business at hand.

Kowalski: If you don't mind my asking, Kitsune is a name indigenous to the island of Japan isn't it? (Kitsune smiles and bows her head.) No need for translation people, I got that one.

Skipper: Right then, back to business.

Syron: So, ..operating outside of your area without orders. You guys could all be court marshaled for that one.

Skipper: We risked our entire way of living to help a friend in need, ..if you want to turn us in for that then so be it. We've still got a job to do.

Erin: Nobodies turning anybody in, ..Syron just wanted to make sure you all knew what you were risking.

Skipper: We're well aware of the stakes here. SO ….where can we find this Antonio?

Pepper: His habitat is located on the other side of the zoo but watch yourselves, he's a charmer. A couple of smooth words and a few notes on that Spanish guitar of his and the feathers on the back of your neck will stand at end let me tell you….. (Looks about to see everyone staring at her.) Oh sorry, I got carried away.

Meg: I think what my associate over here is trying to tell you is that's he's had every female in this zoo star struck at one point or another.

Elisa: (smiles in thought) And some of us more so…

Meg: That's why we don't let you near him anymore, Elisa. (Does a faux Italian accent for humor.) You take one Latino otter, add one Latina penguin and mother nature she's a not gonna be happy you betcha! (Kitsune shakes her head and makes a short series of gestures.)

Pepper: Kitsune said that the joke would have been better had Meg used a more appropriate accent considering the origin of both parties involved.

Meg: That was part of the joke, Kitsune. It's supposed to be inappropriate, grow a sense of humor already. (Kitsune rolls her eyes)

Syron: Excuse me people, ..can we get back to the matter at hand? (turns to Skipper) You'll have to accept my apologies but when you have a workforce of all girls and no guys things tend to get catty.

Kowalski: We can see that, …but have no fear the guys are here.

Elisa: And hopefully you brought your equipment with you

Kowalski: Come again?

Elisa: We'll check on that too. (winks)

Syron: Give it a rest Elisa, they've only been here a matter of hours. (Kitsune makes a few gestures)

Kowalski: I don't think I caught that.

Syron: You don't want to know, let's just say that Kitsune isn't very big on intimacy. (looks about at the whole group.) ANYWAY, ….Marlene I'll take you to see Antonio myself after sundown. Once the zookeeper has tended to all of the animals he retires to the security office for a couple of hours and sometimes longer if Kitsune has anything to say about it.

Pepper: That's putting it lightly, …this girl is half Samurai. If she's spying on you there's not a chance in hell you're going to know about it, and if she wants you dead. (Kitsune smirks, regurgitates five throwing stars and hurls them at Kowalski. Two brush his feathers by his ears, two brush the feathers under his armpits, one brushes the feathers of his crotch and all of them impale the wall directly behind him.)

Kowalski: (gulps) Mommy!

Marlene: Kitsune, …please don't take this the wrong way but when was the last time you took a vacation? (Kitsune smiles and shakes her head no.) That's about what I thought.

Syron: (sighs) Obviously this group can't seem to get past the shenanigans today and since nobody got any sleep last night I think we could all use some sack time. (turns to Elisa) In our own bunks! (Elisa groans.) Like I said before, I'll take you to see Antonio myself later. (Marlene smiles and moment later she and the guys are shown their bunks. Marlene continues to smile wondering what Antonio will be like.)

Marlene: Thanks for everything guys. (No response comes and moments later light snoring is heard as the penguins are asleep already. As the female penguins turn out the lights the light report of gas is heard from Rico followed by expressions of feminine disgust.)

Chapter 6 coming soon.

Comments and suggestions are always welcome.