Disclaimer: Penguins of Madagascar and all related characters are the property of Nickelodeon, DreamWorks, and any or all related affiliates. This fiction was created for the purpose of having fun and being creative, no money is being made in any from it's creation and posting.
Paternity Pursuit
Chapter 13
By
Wildgoose
(The scene opens in the NY central park zoo two weeks after the end of chapter twelve during the coarse of the normal business day, there are people about as usual with the occasional crowd of school children roaming from habitat to habitat. In front of the penguin habitat now empty since the penguins alleged abduction sit's a number of large poster boards that almost surround the habitat. The poster boards upon closer examination are filled with the signatures and well wishes of both adults and children alike wishing the penguins a safe and speedy return in light of their recent trauma and recovery in NJ. In front of the otter habitat there are a similar number of poster boards with well wishes for the animal as well as numerous suggestions of names for her pups ranging from witty to stupid, and extremely common to rare and exotic. With that in mind there in the background the of the poster boards is a local television news crew doing a story on the growing number of poster boards surrounding the habitats and the meanings behind them as the recovery and pending return of the animals has become an ever popular story with the public and also legitimate animal rights groups who are demanding that maximum punishment be given to those responsible for shooting one of the penguins. A result of the animals popularity has caused a rush on related gift items in the zooveneirs shop leaving King Julian in a profound funk due to the fact that he believed that the gift items bearing his likeness should be the most popular no matter what. What goes on at the zoo at night however is a remarkably different story. The animals, every one of them, are hostile to the temporary zoo keeper in their own individual ways for reasons he is unable to understand. On several occasions the temp. zookeeper has requested that he be replaced out of fear that he may be injured by the animals during their care. The scene changes to the inside of a public bar and grill with the aforementioned news report regarding the animals being displayed on the various television screens in the establishment. In one of the booth seats toward the far side are sitting Alice who surprisingly is wearing something casual but semi-provocative, …..for her, and Steve who is dressed simply with khakis and a nice polo shirt. )
Alice: (finishes ordering prompting the waiter to leave.) So, ….nice place huh?
Steve: It seems better than the average bar as far as I can tell. Do you come here often?
Alice: What gave me away?
Steve: At first glance, ….the waiter knew exactly who you were and where you like to sit.
Alice: I'm busted I guess.
Steve: (smirks) You're not referring to your anatomy are you? (Alice looks puzzled for a moment and then blushes as she glances down at her somewhat revealing neckline.)
Alice: Is the outfit too much? I'm really not used to wearing this kind of stuff, …I've always been the proverbial tom boy.
Steve: The outfit is fine, ..you look fetching. I guess I'm not used to seeing you like this, …just in work attire.
Alice: Thanks, ..you look kind of hot yourself. (Steve chokes on a gulp of water from his glass and then puts it down as delicately as possible.) Too much for you again..?
Steve: Do you mind if I ask you a question, Alice? What exactly do you see in me, …as you've probably noticed I'm not always the most pleasant person to be around.
Alice: Like I said, ..I like you.
Steve: You must, …you're quite persistent in approaching me.
Alice: Do you want honesty?
Steve: Honesty is good, ..I can handle it, it's the least likely thing in the world to give me the runs.
Alice: (tries not to choke on her beer as she laughs) And all of that over lunch. (pause) You remind me of me when I was your age. Willing to speak my mind regardless of the outcome with a sharp wit. I'd just come to work for the zoo and thought I had the greatest job in the world because I loved animals so much. (Steve bursts out laughing.)
Steve: I can guarantee you that I don't think of my job as the best in the world.
Alice: (smirks) Yea, …my naivety has worn off over the years to allow me to see that. However I still love the animals.
Steve: Even the penguins..?
Alice: They keep me on my toes, .. I'll say that much.
Steve: I know that feeling. However there's got to be other factors involved, ..I mean I'm somewhat younger that you in case you haven't noticed.
Alice: Well, you're in shape and not too bad looking. It's not like you walk around all day wearing a wife beater and scratching a big fat hairy beer belly while blaming flatulence on invisible animals. (takes a swig of her beer.) Besides, … I'm tired of being alone, …I'm afraid of growing old and having nobody to care about or to care about me. You've heard of the type, thirty cats and so forth.
Steve: Herds of cats, …I've heard the story. So you've picked me, …I'm honored.
Alice: (laughs) Don't think by any means that I'm trying to settle, …I just like a challenge and I like you.
Steve: So I've gathered.
Alice: So, …you're okay with dating an older woman?
Steve: Well you don't look like Jed Clampett's mother in law so, …I'd be willing to give it a shot.
Alice: I'll take that as a compliment then.
Steve: (Smiles) As it was intended. (holds up his glass) Cheers.
(The scene fades out and comes back in down in NJ, it is evening as evidenced by the sun vanishing below the horizon as seen through a nearby window towards the front of the vet's office. Switching to the back room where the animals are being held. Kitsune utilizing her biological clock has determined this and subsequently has begun her nightly meditation which eventually was noticed by some of the office staff which had stayed behind to keep an eye on the animals.)
Vet nurse: Hey Jen, …come take a look at this. ( another woman comes walking over.)
Jen: What have you got Alyssa? (Alyssa points to Kitsune with a curious expression on her face.)
Alyssa: What do you think this bird is doing?
Jen: (approaches the cage.) I'm not sure, …it almost looks like yoga or something.
Alyssa: A penguin doing yoga?
Jen: (scoffs) Don't let word get out or it'll turn into the next craze. (pretends to do a commercial) Now you too can turn yourself into an inside out pretzel while wearing a tuxedo, operators are standing by!
Alyssa: Go patent that, …I'm sure there's a few thousand schmucks out there who would buy into it. Just look at that pet rock craze back in the eighties. (Jen laughs in the background as she continues checking the other animals.)
Jen: What's the other one doing?
Alyssa: Lying on it's back sound asleep.
Jen: That must be the male, …even in nature guys are all the same. Eat, sleep, screw….
Alyssa: Well we haven't observed them doing that last part so how can you tell which is which? Maybe they're both males or females.
Jen: Well, …short of a blood test we'll just have to wait and see if they try to get it on. The doc seems to think they're a mated pair, …they look like a couple of average stupid birds to me. (She turns around to check on Marlene's cage when suddenly something strikes the wall hard next to her head. When she looks up in a fright she see's a throwing star embedded in the wall half an inch from where her head had been with a notepad size piece of paper attached to it.) What the freak…? (turns to her co worker) Did you throw this thing at me?
Alyssa: Sure, ..I hate working with you so much that I bring ninja weapons with me to work.
Jen: Alright, …so where did it come from? (She removes the note and reads aloud.) "You're one to talk, you dress to attract yet you work with other females. Besides, do you mate for the entertainment of others?" (looks at her cow worker.) You didn't write this, right? (Alyssa shakes her head prompting both to turn to look at Kitsune who as far as they can tell is still in the same position as before. A moment later Kitsune opens her eyes to look at the two women and winks at them before resuming her activity.)
Allysa: Okay, …you saw that right?
Jen: (turns away to look for something in a nearby cabinet.) I saw it, but there's nothing that will make me think that penguins carry weapons or write. So think of another excuse for what happened. (She turns back to find her co-worker is nowhere in sight and Kitsune's cage is open.) Allysa, …you have one of the penguins from cage four, right? (Looks about ) Allysa..? (a pop is heard from outside the room as a small grapple hook and line fly into the room near the floor and lasso the woman's legs together causing her to fall to the floor. The cable then drags the woman out through the door into the hallway as she whimpers in fright.)
(The scene cuts to the next morning as the vet enters the building preparing for work as usual, when he heads into the back room to check on the animals the sound of clipboards hitting the floor is heard followed by a number of obscenities. Following into the room, on the floor are both assistants having been stripped of all clothes and hog tied together with a note taped to the forehead of one of the assistants.)
Vet: (reading aloud after removing the note while the assistants muffle their protests and pleads for help through their gags.) "Look, …we're a mated pair. Please put us in a cage and make inappropriate remarks about us." (The vet lowers the note and stares at the two women trying to decide what to make of the whole situation.)
(The scene cuts to later in the day as the animals are being given their afternoon rations.)
Private: Hey Rico, …what do you suppose happened to our regular humans? I've never seen these ones before. (Rico just shrugs)
Kowalski: It does seem rather odd, ..perhaps a scheduling conflict of some sort.
Private: On both of them?
Kowalski: Are you suggesting conspiracy? (long pause) Good god, these humans are more of Dr, Blowholes lackeys, he's found us again hasn't he? (begins to panic) Does that dolphin ever give up?
Private: Calm down, Kowalski. I'm sure these humans are just ordinary vet techs, there's nothing to worry about.
Kowalski: That's easy for you to say, …you don't spend every minute of the day thinking your noggin off trying to stay ahead of the would be bad guys next move.
Private: Kowalski, …I'm afraid I'm going to have to quote Skipper once again….. (Private is cut off by the sound of one of the vet assistants pushing through the doorway with a cart loaded with an animal cage. Amidst those noises is an all too familiar voice.)
Voice: (Labored) Turn off the old think melon, Kowalski!
Rico: (grunts) He's back? (abated paused) Wahoo….! (grabs his throat in pain.)
Kowalski: Skipper, ….you're alive! Thank god, …we've felt so lost without you. You have no idea what it's been like having to take orders from Private….
Private: Hey, …I think I've been doing a jolly good job if I do say so myself.
Kowalski: I hate to say this Private, but frankly your orders suck. We've been stuck in these cages fro weeks and you haven't done a thing to get us out of here.
Private: We live by the penguin creedo, Kowalski.
Kowalski: Never swim alone…?
Private: The other one.
Kowalski: Always wear fuzzy slippers to bed at night so your feet don't get cold?
Private: NO, …..never leave a man behind! And that's why we've been staying here, …to wait fro Skipper.
Skipper: (weak) Alright, …that's enough from you two. I'm in charge here so you two can just put a cork in it. ( Marlene's voice comes from another cage.)
Marlene: It's good to have you back Skipper, …I was really worried about you. I'd come to the bars to see you but I've kind of got my paws full in here.
Skipper: It's nice to be missed, Marlene. I heard the good intel as the humans were conversing with each other, …four is it? (Kitsune rushes to the cage door and begins making gestures for Skipper to shut up.)
Marlene: Wha, …four? You must have heard wrong, …I only have three.
Skipper: I'm pretty sure of what I heard….. (Kitsune writes a note makes it into a paper airplane and sails it over to Skipper beaning him in the chest bandages.) OW, ..watch where you point those things! (He reads the note informing him that Marlene does not know that she lost one of her pups.) OH,….oh dear.
Marlene: What's oh dear?
Skipper: (pause) Nothing at all, Marlene. I was misinformed, that's all.
Marlene: Oh okay, I was getting a little worried there that somebody hadn't told me something.
Skipper: Just another day at the office, Marlene. So how are the little buggers?
Marlene: Hungry, …constantly.
Skipper: Any names yet?
Marlene: Nothing official, ….but for some reason the humans known as the three stooges keep coming to mind.
Kitsune: (writes a note and then sails it over to Marlene.) One of the humans who works here is a big fan of those clowns, …their TV antics play all the time on the tube out in the waiting room. You are able to hear it from here.
Marlene: Oh…okay, ..I guess that makes sense. (long pause) Um Kitsune, …could I ask a favor? You know how to get out of these cages, right? (Kitsune nods) The pups have already been fed, …could you baby sit for a few minutes so I could visit Skipper? (Kitsune stares at Marlene for what seems like ten minutes with the unprecedented evidence of fear in her eyes.) It's okay, they're just pups. They're not going to try to hug you, …I just need you to keep them occupied for a few minutes. (Kitsune still looks uncertain but reluctantly agrees. She jimmies the lock on her own cage, works her way over to Skipper to unlock his and then goes to Marlene to switch places.)
Kitsune: (writes) What do I do?
Marlene: Just keep them occupied, …don't worry they won't hug you. There will likely be some tackling however, …they can be a bit rough. (Marlene leaves the cage closing the door behind her locking Kitsune in with her pups as she makes her way into Skipper's cage.)
Kitsune: (stands there looking at the three pups who are staring back at her playfully.) (Writes) I don't suppose any of you read yet? (One of the pups snatches the piece of paper, crumples it and begins to play with it on the floor of the cage.)
Marlene: (hears a lot of scampering about in the other cage) I knew she'd warm up to them, …so how have been feeling, Skipper?
Skipper: Like I've had an ounce of lead removed from my lung, …I can still taste that horrible metal.
Marlene: Oh right, …I guess that was kind of a dumb question to ask. (awkward pause.) I uh, …..I never had a chance to thank you for saving me. To be honest, …I thought I was as good as dead. (pause) You know how when you almost die they say you can see your own life flash before your eyes?
Skipper: Yes Marlene, I had a similar experience. Only it was a flashback to my boot camp days, …those were the best days of my life. Those days helped to mold me into the penguin I am today.
Marlene: Oh, well that's good to hear. (pause) My experience sucked, …I have never done a thing in my whole life up until I took up this adventure with you guys.
Skipper: Well not to worry, ….we've got plenty more adventures where that came from. We'll make a penguin out of you yet.
Marlene: Okay, ..that's kinda cool but I think I'll stick with who I am. I like being an otter, ….and I'm comfortable with you being a penguin. Don't get me wrong or anything, …I'm not looking to hook up. (pause) Well, …watching what you were willing to put yourself through to protect me and my impending family gave me a bit if a revelation.
Skipper: (looks across the way at Rico holding his beak) I think you'd better cut to the chase, Marlene. Rico can hear you over there and his control over his love mush gag reflex is about to give way.
Marlene: Yea, …leave it to Rico to ruin the moment.
Skipper: So what was your revelation, …you saw God or something? What did he big man have to say? He didn't mention the five bucks I owe him did he?
Marlene: What?
Skipper: Classified, …forget I mentioned it.
Marlene: Consider it gladly forgotten then. (pause) Oh right, …moving on. It dawned on me that I never had to go to Philadelphia to try to complete my family. The most qualified person for the job was right in front of me the whole time.
Skipper: Private..?
Marlene: What….? No, …YOU!
Skipper: Me?
Marlene: Yes,…you. You were the one who listened to my outbursts, risked all to help me, and then was willing to sacrifice yourself to protect us. (Pause) Why are looking at me like that…?
Skipper: Marlene, …are you expecting me to get down on one knee or something?
Marlene: What, ….no.
Skipper: Good, …because penguins don't have knee's. That would have made for a quite a tricky maneuver.
Marlene: No, …what I'm getting at is that, if you're willing to accept the job, ..I think you'd make the perfect make role model for the pups. You know, ..as long as you don't turn them into little commando's or something.
Skipper: It sounds like a dangerous job Marlene, I can't make you any promises.
Marlene: (bobs her head about in thought.) Eh, …sounds close enough. So what do you say?
Skipper: It'd be an honor to serve, Marlene. (Marlene Grabs Skipper in a tight hug.)
Marlene: Thank you, …I LOVE you!
Skipper: OW, watch the bandages! (Marlene lets go) And what was that…?
Marlene: (Blushes) …I um, …you know, …sometimes I feel like, …wow this is awkward.
Skipper: Relax Marlene, we'll keep it on the Q.T.
Marlene: I don't suppose, …you maybe?
Skipper: That's classified, Marlene. (Leans forward and gives her a kiss on the cheek and makes his classic gesture.) So you didn't see anything.
Marlene: (flustered with head spinning slightly.) Right, gotcha. (Stumbles slightly as she withdraws from the cage and closes the door to head back and relieve Kitsune. When she gets back to her cage she finds the equivalent of wrestle mania in progress with Kitsune pinning one of her pups on the floor with another diving onto her from the top of the cage bars while the third is busy pretending to be the ref. Marlene stops in her tracks with mouth agape. ) What the… (all four stop and point at one another to indicate who started it.)
Chapter 14 coming soon.
Comments and suggestions are always welcome.