Disclaimer: Penguins of Madagascar and all related characters are the property of Nickelodeon, DreamWorks, and any or all related affiliates. This fiction was created for the purpose of having fun and being creative, no money is being made in any way from it's creation and posting.
Paternity Pursuit
Chapter 14
By
Wildgoose
(The scene opens up as much as a week after the end of the last chapter, as expected there is a media circus as the recovered animals are being delivered to their habitats in the NY central park zoo. However that appears to be the only ruckus in the zoo as all of the other animals are strangely quiet. There are no cheers from them, no welcome home or job well done, just quiet. Some time later after the media have left the animals are given their scheduled daytime rations by Alice who is surprisingly chipper.)
Alice: Good to have you guys back, ….every zoo needs a few penguins. (Pause) Although I'm not sure what we're going to do with the new one. Honestly, …that jersey vet must have been crazy. The new one hasn't been affectionate in any way towards you guys. (Sighs) Well, what's done is done I guess. The transfer paperwork has already been completed. (Shakes her head as she walks away)
Kitsune: (stomps her foot and writes a note to Skipper.) What is with these people? Everybody expects us to screw for their entertainment. Rico and I aren't even a pair!
Skipper: But you do like each other right? (Kitsune nods) Then don't worry about what the humans want, let nature take it's coarse and if it's to be then so be it. That is so long as you don't have one of your freak outs and kill him, …..or us. That's important too. (turns to the others) Kowalski, ….our new guest is going to need quarters. I need options!
Kowalski: (Quickly draws up a schematic on a pad of paper and then shows it to Skipper.) I suggest the south side of the cave, ….it's distance from us guys should serve to provide the necessary privacy females need.
Skipper: Excellent! Private, …see to setting it up. Kitsune can supervise, ..you know how females are.
Private: (looks very nervous.) This could take a while couldn't it, Skipper?
Kitsune: (writes and then posts the note on Skippers beak.) You guys suck, I want to go home! (Kitsune scowls as she follows private.)
Skiper: (After reading the note.) Chicks, …can't live with them, pass the sardines. (Rico snickers for a moment and then quickly regains his composure.) Well with that little job out of the way perhaps we should go pay our respects to Marlene's little rascals, Kowalski what time is it?
Kowalski: (Looks at the clock near the entrance to the zoo.) About five thirty, give or take an hour. I can never remember if daylight savings time is in effect.
Skipper: (holds his flipper against his forehead.) Leave it to the humans to make time keeping complicated. (pause) It'll have to do. Kowalski, report or Alice's position!
Kowalski: (Pulls out his make shift binoculars and scans the area.) Not in sight Skipper, …but we should be cautious. We know that Alice hasn't left for the day yet.
Skipper: Duly noted, move out gentleman. (Rico is the first to attempt to scale the habitat fence and receives a surprising jolt of electricity that sends him backwards through the air several feet.)
Kowalski: (flippers smoking slightly) Good lord, ….the people have electrified the fence!
Skipper: Those fiends, …what do they think this is a prison? (Kowalski and Rico exchange glances with each other.)
Kowalski: Um …technically skipper, yes. That's basically what a zoo is, ..a prison for animals.
Skipper: You've got to be kidding me, …I never got a memo about that?
Kowalski: Most likely because we've never lived under restricted conditions after normal operating hours before. Something has gone terribly wrong in our absence. (Rico begins making alarming noises while flapping his flippers and pointing. After a moment Kowalski uses his binoculars to find what Rico is ranting about.) It's another zookeeper, Skipper. It looks like he's bringing our dinner.
Skipper: Already? This isn't the usual time, …our guy usually doesn't bring our chow until all of the daytime personnel are gone for the day. What gives…?
Rico: (shrugs.) I dunno…. (Private comes back from his assignment.)
Private: Did I hear that dinner's come already?
Kowalski: And it's not our usual guy.
Private: So what do we do?
Skipper: Until we have additional intel, …we do our usual routine. Cute and cuddly, gentleman. (The penguins stand in a row watching the zookeeper as he walks up to the habitat and tosses them their food and then moves on without a word. The entire group glances down at the ground in horror as they discover the contents of their meal for the evening.) Fish cakes….?
Private: My word, Skipper. Have the humans lost all decency?
Rico: (clutches his throat and pretends to gag.) Fishcakes…..!
Kowalski: This makes no sense, Skipper. Our regular zookeeper took care of this problem a long time ago.
Skipper: Well it looks like we'll have to make sure it's taken care of again. Do we have any stores left from our little trip? (Kowalski shakes his head and a moment later Skipper sighs heavily.) Then I guess we'll just have to suck it up and make the best of things until we can rectify this problem. (private snickers.)
Private: I hope we won't have to take it in the bum if things don't work out.
Skipper: No more butt jokes!
Private: (straightens up) Sorry sir, ..I'll try to make ends meet. (Rico snickers)
Skipper: I mean it, …no butts about it! (Rico and Private snicker as Skipper shakes his head) What a bunch of buttholes. (Rico and Private burst out laughing.) Stop laughing, …we've done that whole bit once before. It's not funny anymore. (pause) There's got to be another way out of our habitat, …I need options Kowalski!
Kowalski: (Pulls a large blue print schematic out from somewhere on his person and spends a lengthy amount of time unfolding it.) The storm drains, Skipper. The same way the girls got around their zoo, ..every habitat should have at least two grates through which we can access them.
Skipper: Sounds like a plan, …let's find them people.
Kowalski: No need Skipper, …according to this schematic the closest drain to us is actually at the very back of our own cave.
Skipper: Excellante`, we'll head over to the otter habitat. Marlene's bound to have some fish hidden away somewhere. (pause) Well don't just stand there, …move out! I want to see my kids already…. (Everybody stops in their tracks and turns to look at Skipper with puzzled expressions on their faces.)
Rico: (grunts) What was that?
Skipper: Marlene's kids, ….I want to see Marlene's kids. (Awkward pause.) Alright, ..stop staring. It was a slip of the tongue, …let's move already. (Penguins belly slide into the cave towards the back which happens to be where Kitsune is setting up. She looks absolutely surprised as all of the boys come sliding into her new quarters and disappear down the storm drain in the floor. After shaking her head in disgust for a moment she follows them. A short time later the entire group pops through the storm drain in Marlene's cave right as she is in the middle of feeding the pups.)
Marlene: What the….? How did you guys get in here?
Skipper: Sorry to drop in on you Marlene, but apparently the humans have electrified all of the fences around our habitats. This was the only way we could come to see you.
Marlene: (Melts) Aww, …that's sweet Skipper.
Skipper: No need to get mushy, we all wanted to come see your family. (Skipper is interrupted by the others.)
Kowalski: Um no, …actually the rest of us just wanted to see if Marlene had any fish.
Rico: Fish!
Private: Sorry Marlene, …you see it seems that the humans are tampering with our rations once again. They've switched to giving us those horrible fish cakes.
Marlene: Bummer, …well they haven't done anything to my food yet. Somebody came by not to long ago and tossed my fish to me. Literally in fact, ..he just threw them at me. He was some new guy, …I had no idea who he was.
Skipper: This new guy has no respect for us at all, …and that's not going to fly.
Private: What are we going to do?
Skipper: Talk to as many of the animals as possible, ..we need to know if this guy is here to stay or what.
Kowalski: What if he is?
Skipper: Then there's going to have to be some penguin intervention. (Rico regurgitates a baseball bat and taps his flipper with it while laughing.)
Private: Not to contradict, ….but isn't it possible that it was our intervention in the first place that changed things up around here?
Skipper: Go a little deeper there, Private. What are you getting at?
Private: Maybe our regular zookeeper is gone because of us. We did beat him up after all.
Skipper: We did what was necessary to accomplish our mission, ..he was collateral damage.
Private: But he may not have understood that. What if he left Skipper, ….or worse?
Skipper: It's never going to happen, …if that does proves to be the case then we'll just have to persuade him to come back. (Rico Drops his bat and regurgitates a set of brass knuckles.) More subtle Rico, …we can do subtle. (Rico nods and re-ingests the two weapons and the regurgitates a chain saw.)
Kitsune: (writes a note and then posts it on Skippers beak) You guys do subtle about as well as a freight train coming through the H.Q. in the middle of the night. (She regurgitates her sword and quickly thrusts it under Skippers crotch. Then she writes again.) That's how you do subtle.
Skipper: (voice slightly squeaky.) I see you're point. (Kitsune withdraws and puts the blade away.)
Marlene: (Smirks) She's good… (Pause) So how will you guys be able to do that, …like you said the fences are all wired. I found out myself first hand. (shows her paws with burn marks.) I was hungry for popcorn. (Rico cocks his head as he looks at Marlene feeding her pups prompting Kitsune to smack him upside the head and then write a note posting it in his beak.)
Kitsune: (writes) Stop staring at her boobs, Rico! There will plenty of time to play later. (after Rico reads the note Kitsune playfully turns his head aside with her flipper.)
Skipper: Not to worry, Marlene. These storm drains lead outside of the zoo, …we should be able to get to where we need to go once we're outside of the walls.
Private: Won't we need to avoid some of the animals that live down there? The last we checked the rat king wasn't very fond of us.
Skipper: Duly noted, Private. We'll have to travel topside once we're outside the zoo.
Rico: (grunts) What about the zookeeper?
Skipper: There's nothing to be done at this moment, …we'll just have to cross with that bridge when we come to it.
Private: I hope it's not a draw bridge, ..they're much more difficult to cross. Especially when they're open.
Skipper: Right then, let's have a chat with as many of the zoo animals as we can. Once we find out for sure what's going on then we can take action to get things back to normal. Kowalski and I will take the…..(Cut off by Marlene.)
Marlene: Actually Skipper, ….I could really use your help since you're already here. Besides, …you shouldn't be traveling through dingy pipes with those bandages. The last thing you need is for your injuries to get infected.
Kowalski: (impressed) Marlene, …I never knew you had an interest in medical knowledge.
Marlene: Eh, …I try to pay attention whenever I see the vet. That way I at least have an idea what he's poking around for.
Kowalski: I see. (turns to Skipper) So how do we conduct our search then?
Skipper: (thinks for a moment) Kowalski take the north side, Private the east, Rico the west, and Kitsune you take the south. Just be gentle on the Lemurs, …they can be extremely annoying. Besides, they don't know you well enough to know that you don't have a problem with killing people yet. (Kitsune Scowls and writes a note.)
Kitsune: (writes) Despite the past, ….I am not a homicidal maniac!
Skipper: We'll try to remember that, …in the mean time meet back here as soon as you've finished your recon. Move out people! (The others head back into the storm grate and disappear from sight.) So …..what was it that you needed help with, Marlene?
Marlene: (smirks) Nothing, …I've pretty much got it handled here. I just figured you might want some time with the kids, ….and I thought you could use a rest. (Marlene gets up from feeding the pups despite their protests and gets Skipper a fish.) Just a little thank you for everything you did earlier.
Skipper: No thanks necessary. So, ….have you thought of names for them yet?
Marlene: Officially, ..no. Unofficially they're names are Hey You, …Mine, and Stop Touching Me.
Skipper: Well at least the names are functional. It's been almost a month now, Marlene. I'd think you'd have real names for them by now.
Marlene: I just can't seem to think of suitable names for them.
Skipper: What we're you're parents names?
Marlene: Mom and dad, …that's what the zookeepers always called them so that's what they called themselves.
Skipper: I guess humans don't have much of an imagination. (sighs) Well that's not going to fly, …what about naming them after spices.
Marlene: Some how I don't think naming my pups Cumin, Bay Leaves, and Oregano is going to work out.
Skipper: (Picks up one of Marlene's pups.) Hey little otter, what do you think of the name Cinnamon?
Pup: It's nice Mr. Skipper, …but I'm a boy.
Skipper: Oh, …sorry. I guess at your age the voices are all the same pitch. Short of actually turning you guys over for inspection, Are any of you girls? (The first and third pups point to the middle one.) Otter in the middle, …I guess I can see where this is headed. (Puts the one pup down and picks up the female.) What do you think little lady? (The pup shakes her head no)
Girl pup: Sugar and Spice and everything nice is most definitely not me, sir.
Skipper: They speak pretty darn well for pups, don't they,
Marlene: (pretends to admire her finger nails.) What can I say, …they have an excellent teacher. (One of her pups approaches her and begins to plead to be picked up. After a moment Marlene accommodates and the pup leaps into her paws.)
Girl pup: (tugs on Skippers flipper.) Sir, the most current inel suggests that you are going to be our step daddy.
Skipper: Where did you hear that?
Girl pup: We've been conducting covert recon operations, sir.
Skipper: (Glances at Marlene in confusion.) I didn't teach them any of that, …I swear!
Marlene: I know, …I guess it's true that babies can hear things while still on the inside. It's not, …..directly your fault Skipper. (Skipper offers a questioning glance and after a moment Marlene gestures the go ahead.)
Skipper: Your intel is correct little lady, …my services to your family have indeed been requested.
Girl pup: (Salutes) It's an honor to have you onboard, sir.
Skipper: (Returns salute) It's an honor to serve, …..as you were soldier.
Girl pup: I have a request sir.
Skipper: Go ahead…..
Girl pup: I would like my name to be Yoshi
Skipper: Great mackerel, ….where did you come up with a name like that?
Girl pup: Ms. Kitsune said it was the name of the one she calls sensei. Yoshinatzu Tekagi, …. But that's a bit of a mouthful. The name of Yoshi seems quite pretty to me, sir. (Skipper glances at Marlene who seems to shrug with indifference.)
Skipper: You didn't like Kitsune's name?
Girl pup: I looked it up, sir. A Kitsune is a Japanese spirit that kills men by stealing their life energy during intimate contact. Often changing form between animal and human. (pause) That's just not me, sir.
Marlene: Although it seems quite suiting to her. I wonder if this sensei guy named her with a bit of foreboding.
Skipper: Or maybe he accidentally jinxed her with that name.
Marlene: Like I said….. (Skipper stares at Marlene with confusion before shaking his head in dismissal.)
Skipper: Alright, so be it then. Welcome to the world, Yoshi! (The others are heard returning in the background)
Private: Bad news Skipper, …it looks like this new zookeeper has been around since we first left. Our regular guy hasn't been heard from since then, the other animals are extremely upset about it. Everybody's freedoms have been completely cut off by this new guy. There's no extra ANYTHING!
Skipper: So where did our guy go?
Kowalski: Um, …if memory serves I believe we beat him up and sent him to the hospital. Anything after that would be pure speculation. It's possible we may have created this catastrophe ourselves.
Skipper: How so?
Kowalski: By assaulting the man we may have driven him to go awol.
Skipper: Are you suggesting that the man may not come back?
Kowalski: I'm afraid so, Skipper. (pause) I blame myself.
Private: Actually, ..if anybody's to blame it would be Rico. He's the one who actually beat the zookeeper up. (Rico looks defensive.)
Marlene: Hey, …we're all to blame here. So let's just figure out how to fix this before my kids discover that they live in a prison.
Skipper: The otter's got the right frame of mind boys, …I need options Kowalski!
Kowalski: We could try to convince to the new zookeeper to see things our way. Although it may involve the use of less than honorable methods. (Rico regurgitates a taser gun and begins to laugh sadistically as electricity arcs between the contacts.)
Skipper: No good, …..it's methods like that that made our guy leave. (Kitsune writes a note and then hands it to Kowalski.)
Kowalski: Diabolical, ….could that actually work?
Skipper: Could what work? Out with it man, …we haven't got all day!
Kowalski: Kitsune suggests that we actually find our zookeeper and try to talk to him. Maybe even apologize.
Skipper: No good, ….none of us speaks human.
Marlene: I've been working on it a little bit, …I sounds pretty horrible but you can make the words out. (Her words go unnoticed.)
Kowalski: But Kitsune can write, …she could serve as our interpreter. (Skipper glances at Kitsune who bows in acknowledgement.)
Skipper: That may just be our best option, ..you've got the job Kitsune.
Private: Won't we need to find out where the man lives through?
Skipper: That's where a little good old fashioned recon comes into play.
Private: What about the zookeeper, he doesn't look the other way like our guy did. (The scene fades out and comes back inside the zoo's main office. The zookeeper is seen lying hogtied on the floor having been stripped of all clothes. His mouth and eyes have been covered with duct tape and Kitsune has posted a note on his forehead reading "I am into bondage and my guy friend got carried away, …please excuse me.")
Kowalski: (As he works on the computer searching through the zoo's personnel files.) Skipper, remind me never to get on that girls bad side. (Kitsune writes a note and hands it to Kowalski)
Kitsune: (writes) You should see what I'm capable of when I like you. (She looks at Rico and flutters her eyebrows in suggestion.) Duct tape has all kinds of applications.
Kowalski: (shakes his head) I think I'm going to suffer nightmares tonight just knowing that she said that.
Skipper: Suck it up Kowalski, …we're commandos. Nothing is supposed to get to us.
Kowalski: I'm trying Skipper but I may need help shaking these feelings. (Skipper slaps him.) Much better, thanks.
Skipper: Whatever it takes to keep your mind on the job.
Kowalski: (Locates a file on the computer.) Interesting!
Private: Did you find what we're looking for?
Kowalski: Not quite, …I found the animal requisition forms. We could arrange for female penguins of our own to be shipped here, …no more loneliness.
Rico: (chuckles and then grunts his words) Erin got under his feathers.
Kowalski: I'm fine, …females are just an inconvenience. It will pass before you know it. (Kitsune crosses her flippers in insult.) But just the same maybe I can get Erin transferred here. (Starts to fill out the form.)
Skipper: Focus on the mission at hand, Kowalski. We've got a problem to fix! (Kowalski finishes and hits submit before going back to his search.)
Kowalski: I've got it, Skipper. Our zookeeper lives fifteen blocks from the zoo, …once we're clear of the zoo walls we can hitch a ride on the back of a bus or taxi and be there in no time at all.
Skipper: Excellent! Move out people, ….let's see how this all plays out.
Private: Skipper, …are we just going to leave the person tied up on the floor?
Skipper: Not to worry, Private. Kitsune, ….add some more duct tape just to make sure he's comfortable. (Kitsune regurgitates three roles of grey duct tape and the zookeeper is seen wide eyed in the background as she turns to approach him.)
Chapter 15 coming soon.
Comments and suggestions are always welcome.