+Under the Street Light+

Though she could not exactly put her finger on it, Tug was vaguely aware that something in their relationship had changed. It was in the way he looked at her and the way he acted around her -- most noticeably when it was just the two of them. She just was not certain of what it was she was seeing that was different between them, but perhaps that was because did not want to accept the sudden change in their relationship; she did not want to face the possibilities that could erupt from this mysterious turn of events. It would simply add complications to her life, complications she did not want. So she was vaguely aware of the change, but chose not to address it, in the hopes that it would run its course and fade away.

And then it happened...

It was a particularly frosty March afternoon -- a long, tiresome day of selling at its end. Tug waited, leaning casually against a lamp post with her fingers tucked into her armpits for extra warmth. It did not matter that they were covered by the thin fabric of her gloves, her fingers still felt like little icicles from their lengthy exposure to the bitter winds. She looked up in time to see his familiar figure weaving through the crowd toward her.

There was nothing unusual about the way he approached her; he gave the typical declaration of having just sold his last newspaper when he got within earshot and a quick rundown of the day's more notable events. Prying herself away from support of the post, Tug rubbed her hands together, trying to put some life back into her frozen limbs before making the chilly walk back to Duane Street.

She did not give it much thought when his hands closed around hers; they were surprisingly warm. They moved quickly against hers creating the necessary friction, warming them more effectively than she had been able to; feeling was slowly creeping back into her fingers.

Tug laughed lightly at his gesture, appreciative of his help. But as her eyes moved upward toward his, the laughter slowly died; there it was again, that look -- the feeling that something between them was different. And it was in that moment, with his hands clasped around hers and their gazes meeting, that she realized exactly what it was that had changed.

Locked onto hers, his deep brown eyes seemed to hold all the warmth she needed to drive away the icy winds that swirled around them, nipping at their rosy cheeks. He was looking at her in a that she had never experienced before -- like he was seeing her for the first time after a long absence; his soul seemed to shine through those little windows, pouring forth the emotion he was unable to put into words. It was enough for her breath to catch in her throat and heart to begin humming wildly in anticipation for what would follow...

She could see it hidden in the depths of his gaze. She could feel it in the way the motions of his hands slowed against hers. Tug knew exactly where this was headed, and yet she never tried to stop him. Instead she stood there, completely numbed by the sudden understanding of his recent behavior, and watched as his face drew ever closer to her own. Her eyes closed and she held her breath as his lips touched softly against hers.

Her body tingled at the touch, a reaction she never could have anticipated. It left her slightly bewildered, and momentarily clouded her judgement, providing him with the opportunity to find catch her waist and pull her closer, deepening his kiss. As the initial cloud of shock subsided and Tug realized exactly what she was doing, her mind screamed for her to stop; she should not have let this happen. Suddenly riddled with an overwhelming sense of guilt, she complied with her conscience, pushing against his arms and quickly putting space between them.

With wide eyes she drew in a soft gasp and stared at him, giving her head a small shake of disbelief. His hands immediately fell away as he took a step back, his gaze shifting downward to the snow dusted pavement. Already pink from the chill, his cheeks flushed crimson as he stuffed his hands into his pockets and rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. Unable to find suitable words for the situation, neither of them spoke. After a few awkward moments of avoiding one anothers' gaze, he broke the silence.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, rolling his eyes back to the level of hers. He spoke the words, but there was something unapologetic about the expression on his face, which was also etched with a hint of guilt and embarrassment. He held her gaze for a second and then turned away.

She could not let him just walk away, so she caught the cuff of his sleeve before he had even taken two steps.

"Mush," she said in a quiet voice, her eyebrows pinched together with confusion. He had always been her friend, one of her very best friends, ever since the first time they started selling newspapers together, back when she had been disguised as a boy. With so many questions rocketing around in her mind, Tug was having trouble forming a coherent thought. So she chose the most direct and the most prominent word that was at the beginning of every one of her queries, "Why?"

He shrugged, averting his eyes momentarily while he gathered a response. When his thoughts were collected, he found her gaze. The emotion behind his eyes told her more than his words; he was being sincere; his feelings toward her had changed.

"I think ya know why," he said quietly, and then drew in a deep breath of confidence before continuing. "I really like ya, Tug and I can't help how I feel; I've felt this way for a while now, but I didn't mean for ya to find out like this -- and for that I'm sorry."

His confession was a lot for her to take in. Deep down she had always had an inkling that he felt this way, but she never let it surface because of her relationship with Skittery.

There was no denying that she and Mush had a special kind of relationship -- Tug loved him in a way that was different than any of the other boys, including Skittery; it was the kind of love that she would have felt for a brother, if she had had one.

"Mush -- this is really hard -- because I care for ya so much, really I do -- but ya gotta know that I can't return yer feelings."

He nodded solemnly, not really expecting anything more. "I know."

"I love Skittery." She paused thoughtfully for a moment after the words escaped her. Love? The feelings had always been there, but they had yet to say the words to one another; it was slightly shocking to hear herself say them out loud, particularly under the circumstances.

A small smile crept over her lips as the meaning behind those words sank in; she loved him. Tug glanced back at Mush with a rush of guilt suddenly sweeping over her as the reality of what had just occurred between them sank in; she had just let that kiss happen. There was also a twinge of guilt associated with the abrupt proclamation of her feelings for Skittery, but she knew it was better than letting Mush think otherwise.

"I'm so sorry, Mush," she said quietly, taking hold of his hand.

Mush smiled softly, giving her hand a squeeze. "I know. I'm sorry too. Still friends?"

He spit in his hand and held it out to her.

"Best friends," she replied with a serious nod, eyeing his outstretched hand with disgust; instead of accepting the spit-shake, she gave him a quick hug. "I don't know what I'd do without ya."

Grinning the pair of them started off toward the lodging house; both content with the close friendship they had been able to form through those long days of selling newspapers on the streets. What had happened between them was now in the past; neither of them wanted to exhaust the issue. The memory of that kiss was left to be carried away by the icy winds, frozen in time and forgotten.

However, unbeknown to the two friends, that kiss would not be forgotten by the pair of wide and disbelieving eyes that had been a witness from the corner opposite them.

A/N: So, seriously, what's going through your mind right now? You must share it with me! :) CTB!