Disclaimer! - I don't own any of the characters in twilight, but if I did...I think we all know wat we would all do to sexy Jacob...but yea on with the story!

A/N

So yea I just pretty much copy and paste my disclaimer on the top of all my stories…eh it makes things easier and gives my fingers a brake lol ;p

Just went in a fixed some misspelled words, added some words…eh a basic revision. Nothing really changed all that much so you don't really need to re-read it if you don't wanna. Oh and I'm sorry about the update for the 3rd chapter…I'm almost done with it. maybe over the weekend I might I have it up.

Dear Diary,

This is day number 93 that I've cried for him to come back to me. Its time I realize he won't be coming back for me. That everything he said we would have, was just a childish dream, time to grow up now.

I heard my phone go off with it's little chime noise it made letting me know I had a text. I placed my pencil down on top of my diary and reached for my phone. Its 2am…"who the heck is messaging me now?" I thought as I flipped my phone open, Wolfie, came up. "Who else would it be" I said as I rolled my eyes.

"Want to hang?" the message read. A smiled as I thought, I just told myself I need to grow up and hanging out with someone younger is sooo not going to help me with that. I giggled. Only Jacob would make me laugh at my stupidity. I guess it wouldn't hurt.

"Umm…sure I need to get out anyways" I texted back.

Clank.

Clank.

I heard something hit my window before I had time to even put my phone back down on the table. Without thinking I went to open it "maybe I was wrong maybe he did come back for me." I thought, but when I moved to the side as a huge russet colored man jumped in instead.

The man stood at about 6'4", shirtless, well defied 6 pack. As my eyes were traveling down I saw that sexy V shape that lead down to his…cut off jeans. He saw me checking him out. "Like what you see?"

I nodded my head and with my mouth gapping open I said "uh huh". I shook my head. "What?" I more so questioned myself, what did I just say? I looked at his face and he had the biggest familiar grin, "Jacob?" I questioned. I haven't seen him since…well He left me. If I recall it did look like he had been working out. He still had his beautiful long, black hair back then. Now it was gone. I reached up to touch the top of his head. I can still run my fingers threw it. I saw him smile, that breath taking smile that I never wanted to see fade.

"Hey Bella, been awhile huh?" he asked as I came back to reality. Still in shock with how much he grew I didn't notice he reached out and placed his palm on my cheek and started to gently rub his thumb along my lips wiping the little drool off I didn't even notice I had. "So do I look that good, I even made you drool a some?"

"Jacob?" I asked again my eyes were clouded with his beauty and other thoughts at the moment. I really didn't even register he wiped drool off my face.

He took in a breath of air, "Yea Bells it's me" he said as his eyes stared into mine, filled with so much love. His lips pouted a little. I couldn't help myself. Something was telling me to act like this. I stood on my tippy toes just so I could catch his lips with mine. A small moan escaped from him. He leaned into the kiss. Shit! I thought. I brought myself back to reality. I pushed away from him. Looking down, 'cause I was pretty sure I was red as a tomato right now.

"I'm sorry Jacob I didn't mean to…I mean-" I was cut off by his finger placed on my lips.

"It's ok Bella. I just look that good huh?" he said and I saw hurt in his eyes, but that quickly left when I saw that cocky grin. "So whatcha doin up?"

"What am I doing up? What are you doing up still? At least I'm in my room not wondering around someone's house throwing pebbles at a lonely girl's window and then jumping through said window. Which by the way how did you do that?" I felt my own grin come to my face. Only Jacob could make me feel this way. (I could be depressed, contemplating death and here he comes with one look and all my worries are all gone. Death is no longer a thought. How he does it is a mystery.)

He just shrugged his shoulders "I couldn't sleep, and I had a feeling you would be up still soooo…I just wanted to see you. I haven't seen you in a while. I've missed you Bella."

I looked down and started to fidget with my shirt. I didn't realize till then how much I was hurting people by just keeping to myself. I mean I know Charlie looked pained and I know he hurt the most. He was my dad, and like any parent they just wanted to see their child happy. Not mopping about living day by day like nothing matters anymore. I just didn't think about what everyone else was feeling. "I…I'm sorry Jacob…I didn't mean to hurt you…"

"Bells...Bella. Look at me." he put his hand under my chin and lifted my head up so I could look him in the eyes. "It's all ok now Bella. Just don't do it again. I can't imagine a life without you. Not seeing you all those days...I look back and I don't know how I did it. Smile. Talk. Go out. Be happy, and I'll forgive you. OK? Promise me." I just nodded my head. I started to get sleepy, and Jake saw that I was. He picked me up bridal style; I grabbed out for his neck to hold on to as he walked to my bed and laid me down.

I saw him turn around and he was getting ready to leave, "Jake" I said and he stopped and turned to look at me.

"yes?" he said

"Lay next to me. I don't want you to go yet." I pleaded. He gave me his signature smile as I moved over so he could have some room to lie down next to me. I padded the room I just made and he came over and did as I asked, I don't know what was going on with me tonight. I just knew I didn't want him to leave yet. "So what have you been up to? Since...you know..." I started to say and my voice became quieter. He held me tight as if he could feel my pain. His warm embrace pulled me closer to him. It was just so comfortable. I laid my head on his bare chest; I could hear his heart beating. His beating heart was like music almost. His warm arms wrapped around me, I felt safe. I haven't felt like this in along time. Our bodies fit together like a puzzle, like we were meant to be together...like this. I don't know if he answered my question while I was listening to his heart, but I started to fall asleep. Must have been from the warmth and his musical beating heart, but before I was out I did hear him say "I love you Bella. I always have and will." I felt him place a kiss on the top of my head and thought "why was I so blind"

That night I didn't have to worry about waking Charlie with my screams. It was the best night I had in a long time...

Sooo like I said before this is my first Twilight fanfic, and the first time I've ever posted any of my stories. I want all the criticism I can get. Yes there are most likely a lot of misspelled words. not the best speller...I have a lot of ideas going on in my head for a lot of different stories...hopefully maybe I could somehow possibly incorporate the ideas into this one story...maybe...I'll try hard to update as soon as I can. Reviews always help! :D

~Darkness~