Hey guys! its Raina! I started writing and couldnt stop! sorry! i have no idea why Im apologizing, i mean its better for you, it means im updating more! Im going to be gone on saturday, for a week, so dont lose hope, Ill be writing a whole lot at the beach, and will post it all when I get back! promise! but for now, here it is! seeyasoon!~Raina
Clare's Pov
Ugh, English, my new favorite class to hate.
Alli walked me there, I took my seat.
"Mr. Goldsworthy"Ms. Dawes said
"yah?"
""why dont you read your Assignment"
"fine"
Eli's Pov
Here goes nothing.
"I ruined it." Clare looked up at me
"Our friendship, And my chances of getting to know you. getting you to know me the way I want to know you. I really didnt mean to but I hurt you in the process. I feel like the worst person alive, andjust want to curl up and die,because without you in my life, it seems like thats the only thing to do." i turned the page "and you probably hate me, just as much I hate myself for being such an idiot. I know Im getting cocky by asking but, can I have another chance?"
The class was silent. clare looked confused, angry, sad, happy, just a big mixture of emotions. but she was blushing. she could tell i was talking about her. I guess everyone else could cause they were all staring at her. someone said "SAY YES ALREADY"
which made her redder.
I took my seat
"Well?" I looked back at her
*Briiiiinnnnggg*
"I'll give you sometime to process the idea."
I walked away
Clare's Pov
Awhhhhhhh!
but , he hurt me. badly. I dont know what to do, im so confused. I went to really the only person I can actually talk to J.T.
Knowing Alli she'd say "OMG! SAY YES!" nd squeel.
but even though J.T. is gone, I feel like he's still here. I know it seems like we werent close but, he used to babysit me.I really looked up to him. He was my Idol, he seemed to do everything right and have everything going for him. I was so depressed when he was killed. why would someone even do that? he was the greatest guy I knew. Always smiling.
I walked to his memorial
"Hey J.T."
tears filled my eyes
"I know its been a while. But I need you now more than ever. I really wish you were here to comfort me."
The tears started streaming down my cheeks.
"so theres this boy. we were great friends. then he hurt me. so badly, it felt like he ripped by heart out and ripped it up, and let all the little pieces go. let them flutter in the breeze. along with my feelings. Then i started dating this guy who seemed so nice. but he wasnt. he hit me.
Then him and the other guy, started fighting. they hurt me yet again , but this time physically. i have a bruise on my back. I cant really lean against it, it really hurts. But its not worse then what im feeling now. he asked for my forgiveness. it was so sweet."
I leaned against his memorial crying
"But i dont know what to do J.T.,oh i wish you were her so much to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay. tell me what to do, guide me. but your not. no matter how much I wish, your never going to be. atleast protect me through it. give me a sign help me make the right choice, the one where i wont get hurt again. not like this."
I tried to stop crying. But I couldnt
"I miss you so much."
I got up and blew the memorial a kiss
"Love you. J.T."
I walked out of the room. I saw Eli by his locker. I walked past. I opened my locker to get my stuff to go home.
That night. I was getting ready for bed. I brushed my teeth combed my hair. and put on some pjs.
I fell to sleep
In clare's dream
"JT?"
"Hey Clare"
"JT!"
Clare ran and hugged him
"Long time no see huh Clare"
"I miss you so much JT"
"Clare, dont worry Im always there with you watching over you."
"Im so confused."
"Well dont be, Clare you like this boy, Eli is it?"
"How'd you know?"
"Well Clare, when your in Heaven word travels fast"
"Well yes I like him, he was a good friend."
"Just a friend Clare?"
"I - I dont know"
"Clare I think you like him more than you think. I know he hurt you, but what good would it be to never know?"
"JT, you were always so great t these kind of things"
"Clare, I still am., Im still here, even though you cant see me, im there."
"thanks JT"
"Well I have to be going. I have other people that need m to talk to them"
"JT! please dont go"
"I'll come back dont worry"
JT faded and Clare woke up. She was smiling.
"Be back soon"