*Eli's pov*

I couldn't believe I had let Clare see me like that. I hated people seeing me cry, it caused people to feel sorry for you and that is the last thing I wanted. I didn't need people's sympathy. She must have thought I was an idiot, but there was no way I could tell her why I was so upset. The second I heard my dad's voice it felt like the entire world stopped. I had managed to block out most of my memories of him, but when I heard him over the phone everything that had happened had come flooding back to me. What happened after that was all a blur. The next thing I remember was sitting on the steps outside of my school crying with my head on Clare's shoulder while she kept trying to tell me it was going to be okay. Easy for her to say. She didn't know what happened between me and that bastard I called a father.

"Eli Adam's here!" My mom called from downstairs. I listened to his footsteps as he took the stairs two at a time. I didn't bother getting up out of bed.

Adam knocked on my bedroom door and opened it before I could tell him to leave. "Dude, what's going on?" He asked as he shut my door and made his way over to my bed. He sat on the edge and watched me, waiting for a reply.

I rolled on to my back and stared at my dark red ceiling. I wanted black but my mom told me it was too depressing. I knew her real reason was because it would be a pain to paint over. "What do you mean?" There was no way he could have known what had happened after school. It had barely been an hour since Clare had found me.

"Clare called me when she got home." He looked away pretending to study a poster hanging on my wall.

Damn it. She had promised she wouldn't say anything about that. I sighed loudly. "Of course she did." I loved Clare but she had a problem with keeping things to herself.

"Oh don't be mad at her. She's just worried about you." Adam paused and then added, "And so I am."

I couldn't decide whether or not I should tell Adam what was going on. He knew about my dad. I told him last year when he was being beaten up at school. But if I told him he might tell Clare and I just wasn't ready for that. I grabbed my phone from the table next to my bed and pretended to write a text so I could have a few more minutes to think.

"My dad called me today. He's coming back" I finally found the courage to tell him. I heard him gasp. "And that's not even the worst part." I admitted. I grabbed Clare's ring that had been sitting next to my phone and began twisting it between my fingers, waiting for Adam's reaction.

"Eli, what's worse than having your dad come back?" He asked slightly shocked. From the corner of my eye I swore I saw his jaw drop a little bit.

"My mom's letting him stay with us until he finds his own place." I bit my lip trying to keep myself from crying. I wouldn't let a guy see me cry. Not even someone who wasn't a real guy.

"Fuck Fuck Fuck!" Adam yelled. Then remembering my mom was right downstairs he lowered his voice. "Sorry but, this can't be happening." I could tell he was worried about me. Again with the sympathy. Exactly what I was trying to avoid.

"I know" I whispered under by breath. "And there's nothing I can do. I told my mom I didn't want him living here. She wouldn't listen." I closed my eyes as my vision started getting blurred by tears.

We were both sat in silence for at least five minutes. I continued to absent mindedly play with the ring in my hand while wondering what Adam could possibly be thinking about. I couldn't even imagine what I would do if one of my bestfriends came to me with a problem this huge. I suddenly felt guilty. Adam had more than enough of his own problems, he didn't need mine too.

"Adam I'm sorry." I began. "I shouldn't be dumping all of this on you. It's not fair." How could I be so inconsiderate? I really was a bad friend.

"Eli you're not dumping anything on me. But there's not much I can do on my own." After pausing for a short second he blurted out the exact thing I was praying he wouldn't say. "I think you need to tell Clare."

I gave a quick smile to the waitress as she sat down my Latte and the Lemon Iced Tea I'd ordered for Clare. When the waitress left I went back to staring out the windows, watching people as they walked by 'The Dot.' As always the small café was beyond crowded, but by now I was used to it. The sounds were easy to ignore, especially when I put my headphones in and blared my "Creepy emo rock music" as Clare called it. I smiled when I thought of Clare.

I sighed in relief as she opened the glass door and hurriedly came and sat at the small round table we always sat at. I was starting to worry she wouldn't come. I wouldn't blame her if she didn't, I probably scared her after my by breakdown earlier today.

"There you are!" I yelled in exaggerated relief. "I was starting to think you stood me up. I hope you had a good reason." I said tilting my head to the side and raising an eyebrow.

"Eli I am so sorry! My sister called and I couldn't get her to stop talking." She said quickly. I could tell she felt bad about it.

"Not a good enough excuse." I flashed her smile to make sure she knew that I was only kidding. She smiled back which only made me smile more.

After a few seconds of smiling at each other like love sick idiots, her perfect lips slipped into a frown. "So does this mean you're feeling better?" She asked timidly. "You really scared me."

"Well actually that's what I wanted to talk to you about." Clare just nodded at me while taking a sip of her tea. "But I need to tell you this without you interrupting me."

"Of course. Just tell me please."

I didn't know where to start. I couldn't even remember how old I was the first time. It had been going on for as long as I remembered. I decided it'd be easier to just get straight to the point.

"Every night until I was almost 11 my dad would come into my room. He'd do things to me." I stopped to see if Clare understood. Her mouth was hanging open so I took it as a sign that she did. "He told my mom that I had bad dreams. That that was why he always came in my room in the middle of the night. I don't know what's worse, that she believed him or that I didn't tell her the truth." I stopped again to make sure it had sunk in before I continued. That was when I realized I wasn't crying. This was the first time I had ever even thought about it without crying.

Clare started to say something but I cut her off. "I thought you weren't going to interrupt?" I asked, trying to manage a smile. She mumbled a quick apology and let me continue.

"When that finally stopped was when he got. . ." I struggled for the right word. "Violent. He started hurting me. It started out with just tiny slaps across the face then it got worse." I paused to think about what to say next. I didn't look up from the top of the table I was staring at. "Then he punched me. One time he took out his pocket knife and cut my shoulder." I lightly touched the scar that I knew was there under my jacket.

I heard Clare gasp but I ignored it. "There's still a hole in our living wall where he slammed my head into it when I was 13. I was unconscious for hours. When he left on my 14th birthday. . . that was the happiest day of my life. I tried to tell my mom what happened a few months later. She didn't believe me. She said I was just mad at him for leaving."

I finally snapped back to reality when I saw Clare had her hand over her mouth and was crying. I thought I'd be the one crying but I wasn't. I got up and walked to the other side of the table and pulled her into my arms. She buried her head in my jacket and began sobbing.

A/N: So this chapter was twice as long as the last. I guess knowing people were actually going to read it was inspiring. Anyway please review and tell me if you want more = D