She Josh and jake had agreed that Josh would go to Seattle and make sure Jake was alright, and Ria would take the truck and go back to Dutch.

Ria pulled up to Dutch harbor early that morning.

She found the Cornelia Marie sitting in the same spot they had told it would be. She nearly broke down when she saw the big Teal and Canary Yellow boat sitting in the water. It was eerie how it looked. Iced up and almost sad with no skipper to helm the vessel. She sucked in a long breath and pulled herself together. She made her way silently on deck with no greeting, and poked her head into the galley to find all 4 Cornelia Marie crew members there. They looked at her alarmed that she was standing there. Freddie mouthed silently at her as if she were a ghost. She entered the galley and Ryan gasped sharply. She was even thinner now than she was before, there was deep purply blue circles under them. She looked worn out. Her once shiny pale hair, had lost it's luster, and hung limply around her face. She offered them a weak smile, as she gave each of them a hug.

"Ria, what're you...doing here?" Ryan asked still staring at her wide eyed.

"I'm here to come get all of you. Jake and Josh want you all home for the funeral, thats what Phil would have wanted it."She said her voice cracking at the end of sentence.

"So get going. Pack your shit and let's get the hell out of here."

They all grinned at her. She stood up and said

"While you go pack, I'm gonna head over the the Northwestern."

She made her way across the cold snowy dock, and onto the Northwestern deck. She was greeted by Norman who gave her a very gentle hug, and said

"I am so sorry" she smiled at him as he led her into the galley.

Edgar lept to his feet the moment he saw her and pulled her into a bone crushing hug, tears flowing from his eyes. When he released her She gave him an apologetic smile. She was met next by Nick, then Matt and finally Jake, who broke down and bawled like a baby. She pulled him into a hug and patted his back.

After everyone had calmed down, Sig came down. He held both of her hands tightly and told her how much Phil had loved her, and how grateful he was to have been able to raise her. This of course made her blubber like a baby. She pulled herself together, and bade the Northwestern crew goodbye after relaying all the funeral info to Sig. he promised they would be there.

She heaved a huge sigh, and took several big gulps of air holding the tears back as she left ther boat.

Men stared strangely at her as she made her way across the dock, frozen snow crunching beneath her converse clad feet. She breathed deep before she opened the galley door, and nearly collided with Ryan.

"Klutz." he murmured grinning at her

"Dick." She shot back winking at him.

They all piled into the truck and began the long drive back. She broke the news about the baby and tears welled up in her eyes when Freddie started to cry.

She didn't want to go home

Because going home could only mean one thing

Facing the fact that Phil was gone

And she didnt know if she was ready for that

Hell...

Would she ever be?