Snape's Confessions: Robe Ridicule -

It was a rather hot day in mid June and I was going through my wardrobe trying to find something that I redeemed suitable for this heat. I, as always, would have to wear my wizarding robes but I also needed to find something light and cool to wear underneath upon my body.

'Where is that silky shirt?' I thought to myself, throwing woolly jumpers and thermal underwear here, there and everywhere within my room. After five minutes of frantically searching, I sighed to myself. "I can't seem to find my summer clothes." I muttered to myself. Then, I had an amazing idea. Why didn't I just wear my robes with nothing underneath? No one would notice if I buttoned it up.

I grinned to myself as I slid on my soft, recently fabric-conditioned robes. Oh, how warm and cosy they were.

I slipped on my black shoes and walked out of my office, feeling pretty fresh, even though I hadn't had a shower that morning. Or the morning before that… Or before that…

I was walking down the corridor, feeling quite smiley. Very strange for me really, I didn't tend to smile too much; it put a funny strain upon my cheeks. I was just about to say that it was an amazing morning so far, when Dumbeldore stopped in front of me.

"Good morning, Snape," He appeared to look at the floor then grin, "Is that a wand in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?" He jested, almost bouncing up and down.

I gasped with horror and quickly looked down at my robes. "… It's a stick, Dumbeldore." I said flatly, pulling out a piece of gnarled wood from my pocket.

Dumbeldore looked puzzled. "Why would you carry a stick with you, Severus?"

"I – Er – It might come in useful someday." I retorted, feeling annoyed at Dumbeldore's invasion of my privacy. "Why do you want to know?"

"I was only making polite conversation, Severus." He then bounced away in his usual, chirpy manner.

People like him made me feel sick, always so chirpy and happy when the world was full of things to make you sad. They just didn't see it. They were either blind or stupid; or both.

I walked into the dungeons, where my potions classes were always held. I was not looking forward to it, once again. I had to teach that Potter boy again. He was not my greatest friend, and certainly was not my best student.

I pushed the door open and walked into my familiarly cool classroom when a wind rippled at the bottom of my robes. I quickly pushed down the bottom of my robes and held them there for a short while. "Where is that…wind coming from?" I snarled, clutching at my robes in the best way that I could muster.

A few of the students turned to stare at Neville, who was blushing red. Gryffindor Red.

A chirpy voice chimed from the back of the classroom. "Well, that wind is coming from over there, Snape." The voice came from the amazingly happy, and blindingly ginger, Ron Weasley.

He was smiling in that usual, Weasley way and pointing to an open window which was basically a hole in the wall.

I was shocked. I had windows in my dungeon? I grumbled under my breath slightly. "Who opened that window?"

Harry Potter stood to his feet. "I did it, Snape. I opened the window." He confessed in a smug manner, a smirk spreading over his face.

I grumbled to myself again before replying with: "It would have been you, Potter. I do not want my windows open, now close it!" I commanded, pointing at the open window feebly, trying my best to keep hold of my rippling robes.

"But it's too hot!" Potter protested, flailing his arms all over the place.

I turned my nose to the air. "I do not give sympathy; I just want that window closed."

The boy closed the window in a resentful manner. I did not have a care if they were hot or cold, I just didn't want to expose myself to the rest of the school. It was at this moment in time that I was half wishing I had at least remembered to place a pair or pants on my bottom half.

I was walking through the grounds of Hogwarts after that most awful potions lesson. When the window had been closed, I did not expect to receive some more wind that made it so that the window had to be reopened and sitting behind my desk was the only decent thing to do. Such children, they all found this utterly hilarious. I did not. I would have liked to have been able to have move around my classroom with a little more ease than that.

I was just about to enter the indoors of the school when a gust of wind came from nowhere and blew my robes up into the air. It was completely unexpected, so I made no attempt to protect my dignity.

Gasps of horror could be heard from the students and I frantically tried to keep a scrap of my dignity.

After I had got my robes under control, I saw the shocked faces (and some rather-too-happy faces) of the students around me. I then turned my head to see none other than Albus Dumbledore.

"Is it that time already?" He said, glancing down at his wrist, where he did not have a watch. "Well, ok, NAKED TIME!" He shouted and threw off his robes and danced around in his birthday suit.

Many of the older students covered the younger one's eyes…

And I felt sick. I ran into the building, frantically trying to keep hold of my robes as I did so. I made it to my office and locked my door.

Never again was I going to leave my clothes in this room.

"Some of my friends and I came up with this idea one day whilst we were sat upon the school field. As soon as we had discussed it, I knew I had to turn it into a FanFic. I do hope that you enjoyed this, please comment."