The Phantom Play
Tigress:New Chapter!
Everyone: Yay!
Everyone but Palpyfreak: (kicks Palpyfreak in ice-cold water filled with man-eating dolphins) Yay!
Tigress: I own.. (que dramatic music) Nothing! except myself and Tess.
Back to the TV...
Nute looked shocked. I have enemies in the galaxy? he asked Dofine, confused.
"Hold on, hold on." Tigress clicked pause on the remote. She turned to Blaze. "Can you used your remote to bring Nute here?" she asked.
"Wh- Oh, yeah... of course!" She said, catching Tigress's drift. She dug out her remote from one of her seemingly endless pockets on her coat and pressed the big green button.
There was a bright flash and then Nute, Rune, and Dofine appeared, looking as ugly as always. Anyways, back to the story.
Tigress turned back to the TV and clicked play.
"Of course you have enemies, you idiot! You, after all, are part of the Federation- wait, what's my next line?" He told Nute.
"It's: Just invite them on board so you don't look stupid and so we can find out what they're up too and kill them." A random person off stage facepalmed after he whisper-shouted to the Fake Dofine.
"Hey! I'm not stupid!" Nute said, or should we call him Newt...
"YES YOU ARE!" Everyone said.
"Shush!" The authoresses turned their attention back to the TV.
Nute was looking green as he said," Alright, you may board this ship," into the radio thingy. "But only on these conditions: 1, you may not use the Force, 2, you may not kill people or droids or any other living thing, 3, you may not talk to the fish, 4, you may not chew beef jerky, 5, you may not-"
"OKAY! We get it!" Obi-Wan and Qui-gon shouted at him through the radio. The two Fake Jedi picked up the ship-shaped box and walked to the eye-shaped control center thingy. Right after they left, the cockpit got blown apart and the captain and the other unimportant guy collapsed on the floor. The camera moved to zoom on the 'meeting' room that was right next to the eye-shaped control center.
"Why do I get a bad feeling that there won't be any beef jerky on that ship?" Obi-Wan asked Qui-Gon.
"Quit obsessing over beef jerky, my young, obnoxious, loud, and annoying padawan!" Qui-Gon said, sighing.
"Whatever... These Federation people are cowards, the negotiations will be short... then we can go back to our safe, comfy little..." He drifted off as he saw the remains of their ship. The camera had moved to let the audience see the ship... which was little more than a piece of scrap cardboard.
"WHAT? They.. They, they skipped the whole part about Master Yoda saying that I should be mindful of the future stuff!" Obi-Wan complained loudly.
The camera had moved back to the control center.
"But.. but but but they are Jedi!" Nute stuttered, nervously.
"I do not stutter!"
"No! There is no hope left!" Dofine wailed miserably.
"We must call Darth Sidious while we still have time."
"It's LORD Sidious, idiot." Dofine snapped, wacking Nute upside the head.
"OWWW!"
"Do they always make people wait this long?" Obi-Wan asked, before taking a bite out of the beef jerky from the tray before him. "Ew, stale jerky."
"No, I do not think so..." Qui-Gon takes a sip of the drink. "OH! Yum! Coffee!"
A while later...
"Darth.. I mean Lord Sidious, your plan has failed." Dofine wailed sadly."There are Jedi here!"
"You seem more worried about the Jedi than me." Sidious said, amused. " Viceroy! I need coffee!"
Nute looked nervous as he stepped forwards, handing coffee to Sidious. "Yes?" He managed to grind out, even though his voice was squeaky.
"My voice is not squeaky!" He said, squeakily.
"Please, someone do shut him up." Snape drawled out. Wait, when did Snape get here?
"AHH! IT's the poisonous gas!" Obi-Wan shouted.
"NEWT! You made us skip the part where Dofine hides in terror!" Nemesis said, angrily.
Blaze threw him into a volcano.
The Jedi were fighting the random droids that popped up. They were using glow sticks to whack the legs of the droids. A droid fell down and his head came off, rolling around like a bowling ball, tripping everyone up.
Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon ran off into the ventilation shaft, which was basically just a big refrigerator box. They crawled to the end, then ducked down behind some more boxes and sneaked a glance.
"The Federation are going to invade Naboo!" Qui-Gon said.
"That's odd."
"Well, you were right, my padawan, perhaps you are not as stupid as you look.."
"What was I right about?" Obi-Wan persisted.
"The negotiations were short."
The screen rolled down again. This time, it read:
This is the 1st intermission of 10 intermissions... maybe 20, but anyways, you have a 10 minute water break, now shoo!"
"That's a lot of intermissions." Luke said.
"YAY!" Blaze cheered.
"What's her problem?" Leia murmured to her brother.
"Which one?" He asked back.
"I heard that! But, I don't have a problem! It's just that Anakin's appearing after the intermission... well, not right after... but..."
Anakin and Blaze cheered.
Tigress: That was fun...
Wolf: Yup
Jess: Yup
Nemesis: Yup
Blaze: Yup
Palpyfreak: Nope!
The 5 Authoresses: Shut up!
Palpyfreak: No!
The 5 Authoresses: (Takes out weapons of choice)
Palpyfreak: I should run now...
Blaze, Wolf, Nemesis, and Jess: Yup (chases Palpyfreak)
Tigress: Review please! (Goes to catch up with the other crazy authoresses)