Episode 3
The wolves and the vampires are in a fancy Italian restaurant finishing off their food. Everybody else in the restaurant are looking suspiciously at the huge amount of food that the wolves are consuming.
Seth: Oh, yeah! That was the best pizza ever.
Paul: (to Jacob) Lol, I beat your world record of twelve pizzas in one sitting. I did twelve AND ONE SLICE! WOOTT!
Jacob: Well, you've gonna try harder next time... *shoves a whole pizza in his mouth and swallows it*
Paul: O. M. G...
Quil: Epic fail
Rosalie: Ugh, that is horribly disgusting, I would prefer to actually cut my pizza delicately and chew it for at least 10 seconds before swallowing it!
Edward: Exactly, puppies
Rosalie: Or should I say, giant over sized dogs that slobber everywhere and eat like pigs
Embry: *rolls eyes* Whatever
Leah: (to Emily) Oh my God, I should stop eating... I ate fifteen pizzas. I should keep my figure
Emily: (to Leah) You're so lucky, you eat so much and still stay thin like Justin Bieber's dick
Bella: That was a nice simile...
Emily: Lawl, yeah.
Sam: Did you just say you ate fifteen pizzas?
Jasper: FIFTEEN PIZZAS!
Alice: In one go, yes. I foresaw that before we even sat down at our table.
Paul: WHAT?
Jacob: Epic fail, you got beaten by the girl of our pack
Paul: You did too...
Jacob: Oh.. Right... Yeah.. My bad... *blushes red*
Rosalie: Eww, wouldn't you get fat, fatter than you are now?
Leah: Shut up blondie, I'm a werewolf, I eat an elephant and stay the thinness of Justin Bieber's dick.
Emmett: Lawl, awesome similie!
Emily: I made it up
Emmett: Sexy
Sam: HEY ARE YOU HITTING ON MY BABY GIRL?
Rosalie: Emmett! DON'T YOU ARE THINK OF CHEATING ON ME!
Emmett: I never said-
Rosalie: *slaps him* Oh, you mean pig! I'll screw your JB dick until it falls off and then I'll dice it and saute it and then I'll feed it to you!
Embry and Quil and Seth: LOOOOOOOL! PWNED BY THE BLONDIE!
Emmett: Umm, nice...
Sam: Now my turn to screw Emmett! Emmett's face that is...
Jacob: Lawl! He just said, now my turn to screw Emmett!
Paul: LOOOOOOL! EPIC FAIL!
Emily: (to Sam) WHAT? YOUR GAY? Argh! Now I have to get a sex change! Screw you!
Seth: LOOOOOOOL! SHE SAID SCREW YOU!
Alice and Jasper: EPIC FAIL!
Bella and Edward: How about we just continue eating...
Everybody else: Oh ok
(Everyone continues to eat)
Bella: Well that was random
Edward: Yes, it was
Jacob: (whispers to Paul) I'll piss off Rosalie by taking a huge bite of bread and chew right in her face and then I'll breathe out so the crumbs get in her hair!
Paul: Good luck with surviving that!
(Paul passes it onto Quil, Sam, Embry, Seth, Emmett and Leah Chinese Whispers style)
Quil: Good luck, man!
Embry: Yeah, it'll take all your wits to survive that!
Leah: I can't wait for you to get your dick cut off from that! LOOL
Emmett: Wait, I needa get my camera
Rosalie: What are you guys all muttering about? *shakes head*
Jacob: (mouth full of bread)Hey Rosalie, *crumbs spew out*
Rosalie: EWWWWWWW! EMMETT!
Emmett: What?
Rosalie: Ja-
Jacob: *keeps chewing and spews crumbs* Did Emmett ever tell you how much you resemble a plastic Barbie doll?
(Everyone else is trying to keep a straight face)
Rosalie: ARGH! bitch! *slaps him*
Jacob: *flies back* Ahhhhh! Holy shit
Emmett: *filmed* LOOOOOOOOL OWNED!
(Everyone laughs their faces off)
Rosalie: *runs over to him* I'll get you for that! I WENT TO THE HAIRDRESSER ESPECIALLY FOR THAT DO! *punches him again and again in his hoo haa*
Jacob: *face screwing up in agony* AHHHH! SORRY! STOP!
Sam: LOOOOOOOL! JACOB'S BEGGING A VAMP FOR MERCY!
Seth: A BLONDE VAMPIRE!
Rosalie: *finishes punching his you know what* Hey guys! His thingamagig fell off!
Everyone: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!
Jacob: NOOOOO! I spent seventeen years and nine months growing that! ARGH! It was even better than my sexy abs! ARGH! *starts crying like a little 5 year old kid*
Everyone: !
Jacob: *holds his severed hoo hah* WAHHH! WAH! WAAAAAH!
Carlisle: Fine, fine! I'll help sew it on!
Jacob: YAY!
Everyone: *starts chanting* LEAVE IT! LEAVE IT! LEAVE IT!
Carlisle: I want to, but I'm too nice
Everyone:
Jacob: HAHA! PWNED!
Everyone: *puts on serious pissed off face*
Jacob: *shuts up*
(And so we leave our favourite doctor working out how to sew Jacob's p**** on. XOXO Gossip Girl - Fail)