Immaculate Rejection - Chapter 2
The following morning, Zuko decided to leave for Ba Sing Se, and leave quietly. He needed to visit his uncle. They hadn't seen each other in months, and, well, Zuko never seemed to do too well without him. From there, if he needed more help, he'd be able to contact the rest of Team Avatar. He was sort of ashamed to admit that he didn't have any other friends- except Mai, of course, but Mai hated him now, so, yeah, there was that.
Zuko's advisors had spoken out rather strongly against his spending time outside of the Fire Nation searching for his mother, but they couldn't protest if he went to the Earth Kingdom capitol. Even so, he was going alone. He dressed himself in comfortable traveling clothes and walked down to the war balloon hangar.
"Good morning, Fire Lord Zuko," the guard greeted him, with a quick bow. Zuko waved him off and walked over to the first balloon.
"I'm going on a trip," he said. He hopped up into the basket. "To Ba Sing Se." Zuko didn't want this guard to get in trouble with his superiors- Zuko's own lover, to be precise- so he told the truth. It would be hours before anyone noticed he was gone, anyway. Before the guard could ask for details, Zuko had lit the engine and was expertly navigating the balloon out of Fire Nation airspace and towards the Earth Kingdom.
On the way, he dwelled on his captain. These days, Zuko was always dwelling. He had not, of course, seen the man again since he'd stormed out of the throne room- he'd gone straight to bed after their meeting, and then gotten up and fled the palace. They'd never fought before now, so he wasn't sure what would happen, but Zuko hardly had anything to fear from a scorned captain. If he revealed their secret, his own reputation would be hurt as much as Zuko's. And if he tried to retaliate, Zuko could just fire him. Problem solved.
Zuko sighed. The affair with the captain of the guard was not, of course, the first time he'd had sex with someone who was working for him.
When he'd been banished, his father was all but ready to just leave him on the shores of the Earth Kingdom and forget he existed. His uncle had stepped in and insisted that Zuko be given a ship and a crew. The crew had been hard to find- no one wanted to volunteer to travel with the shame of the Fire Nation. Uncle Iroh called in some favors with old war buddies and people who still idolized him for his military campaigns. The rest of the crew was made up of Fire Nation peasants who had nowhere else to go.
That was how Zuko met him.
He was only a couple years older than Zuko himself, a teenager, someone else who had no family. Since most of the crew was made up of old men, Zuko really had no one else to talk to. They started an awkward friendship.
"So, who burned your face?"
"None of your goddamn business, that's who!"
A very awkward friendship.
Zuko sighed and pushed his hair out of his eyes, resting his fingers on the bridge of his nose to calm himself down. Back then, he hadn't had any hair. The healers had needed to shave the front of his head to treat the burn wound, and rather than wait for the front to grow back, looking like one of the Air Nomad women he'd seen in pictures, he'd opted to just shave it all. Except, of course, the high ponytail that marked him as Fire Nation. A tiny piece of home.
Zuko had his first kiss very very far from home, on the night of a full moon. He was fourteen years old. He couldn't sleep, so he was sitting out on the deck of his ship, staring west, back towards where he was supposed to be. His sailor friend was on night watch, and found him there.
"Homesick?" he asked simply. Zuko didn't answer. "Me, too. And I didn't even have anything in the Fire Nation."
"Don't you have a job you should be doing?" Zuko asked nastily. The other teenager said nothing, and sat down next to him. Zuko could have, had the mood struck him, lashed out at him for going against a direct order, but he was too tired and sad. They sat that way in silence for a good thirty minutes before the sailor spoke again.
"I like you." Zuko blinked.
"Me?" he asked, before he could stop himself. A tiny bit of the shy boy he'd grown up as peeked out from behind his scar before Zuko could push him down again.
"Yeah. You." His friend scooted closer. He was a little bit taller than Zuko, but then, Zuko had always been small for his age. Almost before poor Zuko knew what was happening, he was being kissed. On the lips. By a boy.
He broke off the kiss in a hurry. His face was hot. Little shy-boy Zuko was out in full force.
"Sorry," his friend said quickly. From his voice, he sounded just as uncomfortable as Zuko felt.
Zuko had never in a million years thought that his first kiss was going to be with a boy, but that was not what concerned him. More recently, he'd convinced himself that his first kiss was never going to happen at all. He was ugly. Mangled. Damaged goods. Doomed to asexuality for the rest of forever by virtue of his hideously scarred face.
"Why?" he asked quietly.
"I told you already- I like you."
"But-" God help him, Zuko sniffled- "I'm so ugly."
"No you're not." His friend kissed him again. This time, Zuko accepted it. He kissed back.
Whatever the two of them had, it made the months at sea just a little more bearable. The crew noticed that Zuko was less irritable, and were enjoying it too much to risk it by asking why. Uncle Iroh never suspected a thing- he was always asleep when the two boys hooked up. Kissing developed into touching developed into dry-humping on the deck. And then, on the night of Zuko's fifteenth birthday, the sailor showed up to their rendezvous point and said he had a surprise for him.
"What kind of surprise?" Zuko was silenced with a kiss, and found himself lowered onto his back, rough hands sliding over his face before going to work removing his robes. Zuko was used to this, of course- they'd been canoodling almost every night for several months.
"This isn't a surprise," he laughed. The sailor smiled and nibbled on his shoulder before going for his pants.
That was new.
"What are you doing?" he asked sharply, swatting the intruder's hands away. He had his honor to protect, dammit.
"Giving you your birthday present," the sailor smiled, before giving him another kiss. Zuko had most definitely not told anyone it was his birthday. He kept that sort of information to himself.
"How did you- ah- know?" Warm fingers brushed against Zuko's very most delicate area, now only covered by his underwear.
"A little spider-fly told me," his friend grinned, before he lowered his face, down towards what just happened to be Zuko's very most delicate area.
In later years, Zuko would be hard-pressed to describe what happened next. The sailor ran gentle kisses down his stomach before sliding his underwear away. Zuko didn't stop him. Strong, wet fingers wrapped around his shaft, sliding up and down, squeezing out all the emotion that Zuko had been trying oh-so-hard to hold in.
"Just relax," his lover cooed. "This will feel good." Slimy tongue ran along Zuko's tip, and he squeaked happily. Then the lips closed, and the fingers tightened, and the pressure built up behind, and-
That night was the first time Zuko breathed fire.
"You like that?"
"Yeah," Zuko gasped. He was covered in both sweat and his own juices. He smelled pretty.
"Then you'll love what I'm going to do next." The sailor ran his fingers through the goo on Zuko's stomach. He nudged Zuko's legs open with his knees. Soon, Zuko could feel wet fingers poking around in an area where he most definitely did not want to be poked.
"Relax." Zuko did his best. He felt the fingers push inside of him. It didn't hurt, not exactly, it was just super awkward. Things didn't usually enter his body that way.
"What are you doing?" Zuko asked again, somewhat more hoarsely. This time, his friend didn't answer him. Instead, Zuko felt something larger poking towards his opening.
"Are you crazy?" he hissed.
"Yeah, a little." His friend- lover- sailor-guy hoisted Zuko's hips easily, rested Zuko's legs on his own shoulders, and launched an invasion. Zuko squealed and kicked his legs. He was helpless. What if someone found them?
"What if someone finds us?"
"No one's going to find us." Zuko didn't quite believe that, but he found himself forced to moan. His body was being pushed apart. His friend's dick was almost all the way inside of him. Tears gathered at the corners of Zuko's eyes, not from pain necessarily, but from something more than that. He wasn't used to being held like this. He wasn't used to someone trying to make him feel good instead of bad.
Zuko gasped as he was filled all the way. His insides tingled. He felt his own dick begin to stiffen all over again. His friend pulled himself back out, then pushed back in again. Zuko groaned.
"You like that?"
"Yeah." The sailor picked up the pace. Zuko's body flopped uselessly on the deck. He was completely limp- except, of course, for his very very stiff private parts. His ass ached from the pounding, but he didn't even care. He cried out and dug his fingernails into the sailor's back. He probably burned him. He didn't care.
"Hold on," his friend gasped. "I'm close." Zuko was close, too. He crossed his legs behind his lover's head and arched his back and closed his eyes and bit down on his lip.
"Oh- Zuko," he gasped. Zuko felt something hot splash up inside his body. His own juices leaked all over his stomach for a second time, dripping across his body and onto the cold deck. They collapsed together, a tangle of arms and legs, snuggled together underneath the sky. It was close to being the best birthday Zuko had ever had, at least in recent years. He was just dosing off when his friend leaned down and whispered into his ear.
"I love you."
That was when Zuko panicked.
The very next day, he threw the boy off the ship. After he ordered the ship to port in a Fire Nation colony, he dressed himself in full armor and called the offending sailor to the deck.
"You need to leave now," he declared. He gestured towards the gangplank and the town. His friend's face paled.
"What are you trying to say?"
"I'm telling you," Zuko said tersely, "that you're fired."
"But Zuko-"
"You will address me as Prince Zuko. Now get off my ship." Zuko refused to meet the sailor's eyes while he spoke. He knew that if he did, his resolve would be broken. No one could ever know what he'd done. He'd already lost his father, his home, his throne, and his honor, but if it got out that he'd slept with a man? He'd never ever ever be allowed home again. He could feel his friend's eyes staring at him. His stomach twisted into knots. He couldn't stand it. Finally, the sailor spoke.
"As you wish. Prince Zuko." He spat the last two words. The guards on either side of Zuko lifted their weapons, prepared to defend him if their until-recently shipmate decided to attack. He did no such thing, however, simply turning and walking down the gangplank, disappearing into the crowd at the pier.
That was the last time Zuko ever saw him.
"I hope you know what you're doing, nephew," Iroh had said quietly. He'd been standing behind Zuko the entire time, just like he always did. "Now we're down a crew member." Zuko had ignored him and gone back to his cabin.
Back in the present, Zuko sighed as he approached the walls of Ba Sing Se. Now that he'd worked things out with his uncle, he supposed that kicking his lover off his ship had to be his biggest regret. And, despite himself, he'd always suspected that it was his uncle who told the boy it was his birthday.
Zuko landed the war balloon- given that there was no war anymore, they really needed to come up with a new name- in some of the flatlands outside of the city, and headed inside. Rather than announce who he was, he slipped in quietly, with everyone else. Once he was in the city, Zuko hurried into The Jasmine Dragon, trying for all the world to look like an ordinary tea customer and not the one and only Fire Lord. Unfortunately, years of exile had done nothing if not demonstrated that he was very bad at hiding who he was. The scar didn't help. He hadn't made it two steps into the shop before he was recognized.
"Zuko!" someone shouted. "Hey, Zuko!"
Sokka.
Zuko groaned and clutched his nose.
He liked Sokka. He really did. Most of the discomfort he was feeling stemmed from guilt at having not spoken to anyone in Team Avatar for months and months and months. Well, he was just busy. Yeah, that was it. Busy doing Fire Lord stuff. Like going to meetings, and taking spontaneous secret vacations. Yeah.
His uncle apparently wasn't around, so Zuko got some tea of his own and resigned himself to sitting down with Sokka to wait until he came back. Without much of a prompt from Zuko at all, he launched into stories of all the exciting things he'd been doing, from visiting Kyoshi to rebuilding the Southern Water Tribe. Zuko had to admit that rebuilding the Southern Water Tribe was quite a task. From what he'd seen, the place was kind of a dump. And he hadn't helped the situation by busting down their walls. Thankfully, Sokka didn't bring that up.
"So, what brings you all the way to Ba Sing Se?" Sokka asked over his tea. A year had gone by, and he looked exactly the same. The only difference was that he was decked out in Earth Kingdom green rather than his typical Water Tribe blue. Zuko wondered briefly if he should try to make small talk or cut to the chase.
"I have a problem." He always was a cut-to-the-chase kind of guy.
"What kind of problem?"
"You wouldn't understand."
"Try me." Zuko considered that for a moment. He'd wanted to talk to Uncle first. But really, what was the harm? He had talked to Sokka about girl problems before. And Sokka had had girlfriends, and he had a sister who wasn't totally bonkers. Heck, he made out with the moon. Maybe he would be able to help.
"It's, uh." He took a deep breath and blurted it out. "Mai can't get pregnant." That was apparently not what Sokka had been expecting to hear. He stared for a long moment before extending one arm and pointing towards the back of the store.
"Wait! What's that? I think it's your honor!" Sokka jabbed at the ceiling, expecting Zuko to follow. Zuko watched him brace himself for a quick escape, and his good eye narrowed.
"You know, that is still not funny." Sokka quickly stopped giggling.
"Ok, sorry dude," he grinned. "But seriously. You're trying to have a baby? You're what, eighteen?" Zuko sighed. This wasn't going anywhere. He downed the rest of the tea and moved to get up.
"I told you you wouldn't understand."
"No! Wait," Sokka said quickly. He put his hands up in a defensive gesture, as if Zuko was going to attack him- which, Zuko had to admit to himself, was not an entirely unfounded fear. "It's cool. I can help you out." Sokka motioned for Zuko to sit back down. Considering that Zuko had nowhere else to go, he did. Sokka took a deep breath.
"Uh, so, uh." At least Sokka was as uncomfortable as he was. "How long have you been, uh, trying?"
"Ever since we got married," Zuko answered truthfully. Sokka nodded thoughtfully, as if he'd just said something extremely important.
"So, uh. How often do you, uh, try?"
"Five times."
"A week?" Zuko said nothing. He became very interested in his teacup. Sokka pressed. "Five times a month?" Zuko didn't answer. "Five times ever?" A faint blush climbed to Zuko's cheeks.
"Yeah." This was looking less and less like a good idea.
"Well, no wonder she hasn't gotten pregnant. You have to do it more than five times in a year, I think," Sokka shrugged. Zuko groaned miserably.
"But how am I supposed to get her to do it with me?"
Being raised as royalty, Zuko had a rather different perspective on things than other people. He'd never had any reason to think that his way of seeing the world was wrong until he'd had to try to pass as a refugee. Every once in a while, he'd say something he saw as totally reasonable, and people would stare at him like they didn't understand at all. Like he was speaking a different language.
Now was one of those times.
"You're joking, right?" Sokka asked, finally.
"Argh!" Zuko shouted. He plunked his head down on the table and groaned miserably. "That's what I mean! Who is the Fire Lord supposed to go to with his sexual problems?"
"You know, all this time, that's one question I never thought to ask?" Zuko glared harder than he had ever glared before. Sokka swallowed and took a different tactic. Like water. "Zuko. Buddy. What's the rush? I'm sure this'll work out." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "And trust me, I have seen birth, and it is not pretty."
"You don't understand," Zuko grumbled.
"You keep saying that." Sokka looked at him, and for once, he was serious. Zuko felt that little twist of guilt he always felt when he'd insulted someone without meaning to. Sokka wasn't stupid. As much as Zuko liked to believe he was a special snowflake whose problems were unrelatable by even the most hardened of men, Sokka understood politics, and he would be able understand Zuko's dilemma.
"There are still people in the Fire Nation loyal to my father. If anything happens to me…" he trailed off meaningfully. Sokka raised an eyebrow.
"I'm not following." Zuko gritted his teeth.
"Azula will become Fire Lord!" he shouted. Saying the words out loud made the possibility just that much more frightening. He pounded an irritated fist on the table, causing his tea cup to spin. Sokka, being all too used to Zuko's melodramatic outbursts, didn't react at all, save for raising a skeptical eyebrow.
"But isn't she banished or something?"
"So was I." Sokka's face paled.
"Ok. Ok. Let's teach you how to please a woman."
ZUKO/SAILOR OTP
Has anyone else noticed that FFnet doesn't let you type ! ? anymore? It always deletes the question mark when they're next to each other. So, a lot of Zuko's angry exclamations don't seem so angry anymore. Oh well.
QUESTION OF THE DAY: I'm sad to say I haven't really read any Avatar fanfic. Tell me what's good!