A/N: Reminder, this is classified as AU even though it begins with the well known bracelet scene. After that moment everything changes into my story. Some things may play out in a similar fashion, but other's different as well. =)

Chapter 5

Justin had no idea how long he had been staring at the clock that barely seemed to be moving. He had given up sleep about an hour ago. Daphne was sleeping - blissfully unaware of the wakefulness of her troubled houseguest. Her words of advice, Justin grudgingly admitted, if only to himself - had been dead-on. Not a day had gone by since he left Brian that he had not missed him wretchedly. That he had not wanted him almost unbearably.

Wanting Brian had never been the problem. Nor had he ever doubted how much Brian wanted him. The wanting had always been there - from the very beginning. Although, for Justin it had quickly turned to love. Justin knew Brian had cared for him..probably more than Brian even realized. It had always been evident in so many ways. Those warm looks he would give him when he thought he was unobserved...the casual touches that had nothing to do with sex, every little thing Brian would do for him spoke in volumes.

Brian did everything for Justin. Except one little thing. The thing that Justin needed the most. He didn't need promises of monogamy. All he needed was those three little words that Brian was unable to say, although, so many times Justin really thought he did feel them - whether spoken or not. In part, he knew it wasn't Brian's fault. Brian was emotionally damaged, almost beyond repair by his parents. His sister wasn't too much better, either. He didn't want to care...expose himself to the pain of being stomped on by the human failings that was the normal when he had been growing up. Brian loved Gus, and his friends, most especially Michael - whether he chose to admit it to them or not.

If only they had been able to take that trip to Vermont together. Things just seemed to morph out of control directly afterwards. Thinking back Justin realized he had been unreasonable when Brian cancelled their plans. Knowing now Brian's career had been on the line, and that he pushed himself as hard as he did not only for himself...but, for Justin as well. They were no longer together, and yet Brian was still paying for his school. He says he did so because they made an agreement. That may be true in part, but Justin knew that was not the underlying factor. Of course, Ethan was infuriated about it. Uncaring of how it benefited Justin, just eaten with jealousy that it was an elaborate ploy on Brian's behalf to win Justin back.

The thought was flattering - but highly unlikely. Brian didn't need to buy anyone to come to him. Nor did he need to chase them. He was Brian Kinney. The standard courting and pursuit rules did not come into play. If Brian wanted someone - he quickly made them aware of it. The rest was generally history.

He smiled back to a long past memory when he told a surprised Brian of his SAT scores. Brian's reaction to the possibility of Justin leaving the Pitts for his education had been revealing. Justin chuckled as he remembered taunting Brian; Brian Kinney gives a shit. Brian had been irritated..but, could not deny it. So many little things screamed at how much Brian cared.

But, it hadn't been enough. He couldn't commit enough to say those three words. Now, Justin wondered had he been wrong the entire time? Were those words so important when Brian had proved each and every day how much he cared? Brian had broken so many of his own self-inflicted rules, time and time again - only for Justin. Didn't that mean something?

Then, Justin looked at the ring on his finger. Ethan. What was he thinking about? He was just utterly pathetic. So what if his heart didn't jump out of his chest when Ethan came near? A man only meets one Brian Kinney in the span of their lifetime - if they are lucky to ever find one such as him. He should be thankful for the time he had with him, and just accept what fate had given him. A man that truly loved him. One that was not afraid to express it. And, one that would never break his heart.

With that thought in mind Justin decided to go home. It was time to lay to rest his fascination of Brian Kinney once and for all. Ethan was commited to him. He was his future. It was time he accepted what he had, and forget what he had lost. He could do it...he had to do it. It was what he really wanted - wasn't it?

Babylon

Brian surveyed the gyrating bodies moving to the thumpa thumpa with less than his normal interest. The evening had began so promising too. His intimate moment with Justin that had led to a kiss that only left both of them wanting so much more; then the most important realization of all - Justin still wanted him. Of course, he had already known that. Justin had only left him because Brian had pushed him, whether that had been his intention or not. He had thought Justin would stay - as he always had. But, that was not meant to be. Justin's little blond head was being filled with the ridiculous dreams of monogamous bliss - all at the hands of the fiddler. Brian's first mistake - underestimating Ian.

Fucking fiddler. Everything he had promised Justin had turned into a lie. Ian had never intended on staying faithful to Justin - it had all been a hoax to get Justin out of Brian's life.

Poor Justin, he thought to himself. Always wanted by the predatory. He did have that in common with the fiddler - to a certain degree. Justin had been their delicious prey. However, there was one difference. Brian genuinely cared about Justin...however, Ian cared about Ian. First, last, and always. Just thinking of the manipulative worm touching Justin made the rage burn inside of him. After making his discovery tonight, Brian vowed that would not continue. His dilemma - how to proceed?

Lost in his thoughts Brian didn't see Ted edging up next to him at the bar. "I would hate to be on the recieving end of that look." Ted quipped.

"Shouldn't you be home...in bed, Theodore? I hear rumors your boss can be quite the asshole." Brian answered with a mock glare.

Ted laughed, not backing down - for once. "The rumors are most definitely NOT exaggerated. He is quite the ass at his own time and choosing."

"I would suggest you walk on egg shells, then. And, give the man EXACTLY what he wants." Brian growled at him.

"I will bear that in mind. And, with that I will say goodnight...Mr. Kinney." Ted smirked as he signaled over to Blake seated at a table patiently waiting for him.

"Goodnight, Theodore...Blake." Brian said. At their retreating backs Brian shouted out, "Now you boys stay out of trouble. Up too late fucking makes Theodore a cranky boy in the morning.

Brian laughed as Ted responded with a finger gesture without bothering to turn around. Ted had come a long way since working through his addictions, and once again finding the love of his life. He was actually happy for him. Although, he would never admit being pleased for his domestic bliss. Having had a front row seat the entire time Ted struggled with his drug addiction; it was good to see him not only happy, but settled in a good life now.

Alone again, Brian looked for some faceless trick to take to the back room to take the edge off of his hunger Justin had instilled in him earlier. He was always horny, but never nearly as much as when he got a taste of Justin - and it wasn't satisfied. What that blond headed twat did to him was still beyond his comprehension. He didn't try to understand it any longer - he only knew that he burned for Justin as he had no other man - EVER.

He had been half tempted to go to Daphne's and drag Justin to Babylon with him. He would have resisted, but after some coercion Brian would have won. He always won when he determines to have the prize. One thing was certain. Brian had never been more determined in his life. The fiddler would be gone from Justin's life - soon. He would have him back. That was non-negotiable. That was just how it would be.

Meanwhile...

Justin quietly let himself inside the apartment figuring Ethan would be asleep. He wasn't like Brian; not in any way. Brian would be up until all hours of the night, and still work in the morning. Ethan went to bed early. Shaking his head in derision he tried to force himself out of falling into this constant comparison. It was not fair to Ethan. How could it be? Nobody could ever measure up to Brian Kinney - in more ways than one.

He had to face the truth now, once and for all.

He had never gotton over Brian. It was quite evident that he never would. This was the height of unfairness to Ethan. Now, he needed to find a way out of this mess without breaking Ethan's heart. Whether he ever ended up back together with Brian or not, one thing was certain - he needed to let Ethan go. Why couldn't he love Ethan, he mused to himself? Ethan offered everything that Brian wouldn't. A life with the one he loved, forsaking all others...totally commited only to him.

Justin opened the door to discover how wrong he had been - how totally false his perceptions had been.

There in the middle of the bed sprawled out wide and open was his boyfriend - ass angled up into the air as he was being fucked fiercely. Justin's face drained of all color. Surprisingly not from any pain in what he was seeing, but more for the realization of how Ethan had decieved him. He had left Brian - to come to a man who professed his undying love, and fidelity - all to have been a lie.

Justin cleared his throat uncaring of whether they were near to finished or not. When Ethan's head reared around to look at Justin in horror, Justin responded with a cold smile. Breaking up with Ethan had just became so much simpler.