Disclaimer: I own nothing that is affiliated with Vampire Diaries which includes the book series and the T.V. Shows the series belongs to the rightful, respectable creators.

Summary: Another Damon fanfiction as he muses about him finally telling Elena. Set in Episode 8: Rose.

Author's Note: This is best listened to with Ocean Wide by The Afters...the lyrics, sound and the feel of the melody I think suits this chapter...so maybe give it a try? If not I Was Wrong by Sleeperstar still works. =P

Also I plan to do a what if Elena knew or remebered he compelled her like if she had vervain in her system...this will be a seperate writing project so...

Enjoy!

As she discarded her tooth brush and a sigh passed her lips, she slid her hand - that was encircled around her arm – down as she glanced at it through the mirror and then directly.

Tiredly she glanced back at the mirror taking in her appearance.

Even as tidy neat she looked, she could see exhaustion etched into her features and dark lines around her eyes, stress was taking its toll on her…no more specifically the supernatural entities - that were after her very blood…after her - was taking it's toll on her because she a mere human was so easily outmatched by ancient vampires with strength that surpassed her own by far she could do nothing.

She was just human…and Elena didn't know how to deal with that…with living in constant worry and terror of being on edge all the time, always expecting something to happen in the back of her mind no matter how much she tried to distract herself she always had that nagging feeling.

Tiredly she glanced for the last time at her reflection and retired to her room, her fingers running down her tresses, stopping at her throat as her body halted walking mid step… when she heard Damon's' voice and saw that cocky smirk of his. "Cute PJs." he spoke with a flirty tone as he fiddled with a silver object in his hand.

She wasn't expecting to see Damon stationed at the window seat. She should have expected it though. Elena watched as his eyes swept down her form, the very act making her squirm inside, she was beginning to feel uncomfortable under the weight of his gaze especially as she was only clad in a dark vibrant blue lace cami and white, light blue checkered night shorts. So she spoke hoping he'd get the message to leave. "I'm tired Damon."

Damon hopped up and neared her form dangling it in front of her. Her eyes flicked to the object and recognized it as her Vervain necklace, her eyes flicked back to him. "I thought that was gone." She asked sounding astonished and surprised.

Damon shook his head and his playful expression dropped, seriousness clouded his features as he held it closer to her his finger making sure to avoid contact with the silver pendant.

A rush of gratitude filled her as she smiled slightly reaching for it. "Thank you."

Quickly at human speed Damon pulled the necklace back and now made it so that it was out of reach. Dropping her hand Elena felt a different sort of rush as her heart raced and not for good reasons, she felt nervous. "Please give it back." Her eyes gazed deep into his crystalline cerulean blues and she spotted emotions she couldn't label and that made her nervous…especially with what happened last time.

He tilted his head and parted his lips to speak. "I just have to say something." She heard tremors in his voice and that fact startled her and unnerved her because she didn't know what to expect from the unpredictable Damon Salvatore.

So she voiced her opinions wariness she knew leaked into her tone. "Why do you have to say it with my necklace?" her own voice shook in nervousness.

Damon began to stutter and that fact also unnerved her…she was even more nervous than before. "W- Because what I'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing I've ever said in my life." Elena heard him fighting to keep calm but she didn't know why…Damon usually was able to make himself seem calm even when he really wasn't…so why couldn't he now, what was making him…like this...so nervous?

Selfish?

What is he talking about…?

Wh-

Her thoughts were cut short as she saw nervousness crossed his features for a split second. She frowned as her thoughts reverted to what happened that night when he had appeared, drunk and when he'd kissed her so passionately before snapping her brother's neck in rage and hurt. "Damon don't go there."

"No, I just have to say it once, you just have to hear it" He assured her as she stepped back and he closed in. Nervousness etched into his features again but this time he hadn't bothered to conceal it.

He nodded slightly and then swallowed before he continued, Elena found herself entranced…unable to look away. Something inside her wouldn't let her…something inside her knew what he was about to say was extremely important.

Than after a brief moment like a water escaping from a tipped glass he spilled. "I love you Elena."

What…did he just say…?

He just said he loves me…am I hearing him right?

Her heart hummed and her heart rate increased at his confession, her eyes warming in the beginnings of pooling tears. Elena kept her gazed locked onto him as his soft voice filled her ears and inside she melted and warmth spilled from her core. "And it's because I love you that… I can't be selfish with you." He hesitated as she noticed him swallow again.

Elena couldn't believe her ears right now…she was struck with wonder at the amount of sincerity and tenderness he was displaying with her…he rarely ever showed this side and she hadn't seen it much because they hadn't been alone much…but even then every single time she was astonished and inside she always filled with warmth when he behaved like this.

Damon…

Her heart ached as the next phrase bubbled past his lips, pain and sorrow filling his tone. "Why you can't know this…"

He shook his head slightly and she saw tears beginning to well in his eyes. "I don't deserve you…" he paused and she felt her chest tighten slightly. Her lips parted.

"But my brother does." He stated simply the pain and sadness becoming more evident. Elena's parted lips began to quiver slightly, involuntarily as more tears merged into the already pooling mass.

No Damon…

Don't do this to yourself…you're not a bad person, why can't you see past everything and see the good in you I see?

Why can't you see the things I see…you're not this big bad monster…I've seen the other side of you.

Don't compare yourself to Stefan…

She sealed her lips for a moment as she took in his solemn expression, his eyes watering and sadness and pain etched into his features, filling the crevasses of his face. Then he did the unexpected, he gave her enough time to retreat as leaned in and gingerly placed his lips against the flesh of her forehead. A shadow covered her face as she found her throat constricting further because she felt electrifying emotions pour through the sweet gesture into her. She cared for nothing else in that moment except for them, Damon and Elena.

She felt his love, the passion and the pain and sorrow and because of all these intense emotions and the feeling of his love for her pouring through her…Elena found herself temporarily paralyzed because she could have never imagined the extent of his sincere emotions for her.

Why do you torture yourself so much...?

Why Damon?

Then in a snap he pulled away and she stopped savouring the feel of his lips.She didn't look at him for a second even as she felt him taking in her expression, gauging her reaction.

However when she looked into his sad blue eyes she felt herself hurt…she felt herself break. Because he looked broken…because he looked so sad and in so much pain that it made Elena, herself hurt.

Swallowing she felt his hand's running through her tresses and then his fingers gently stroking the side of her face gingerly…tenderly and lovingly as he murmured words that confused her. "God I wish you didn't have to forget this."

Though her expression was serene she knew that her confusion had surfaced…she felt a single brow quirk up in confusion at his words.

Forget what?

What are you planning Damon…what do you mean by that?

As she felt a change stir in her as she gazed into his eyes, spellbound her mind began to fog and she felt her mind begin to cloud up. She had lost the ability of movement as she had become truly paralyzed and also lost the function temporarily to voice voluntarily what she wanted to…so as to try to stop him.

NO!

Damon please don't do this!

Don't do this, I don't want to forget this…don't do this to me!

No, you can't do this to me!

You can't tell me you love me and then make me forget.

You are selfish!

You're selfish because you're taking it back as if you hadn't told me!

So don't you dare tell me you love me than do this…don't you compel me and make me forget.

Please…

I care about you…can't you see that?

But I'm afraid Damon, don't you realize that?

Damon…please…

I-

As soon as his pupils began to dilate and expand she found herself becoming lost and her mind became cloudy.

"But you do." His voice cracked as she saw a single tear bleed from his eye as his compulsion demand had sunk in fully.

In a snap the world blackened, her eyes closing and she felt a rush of air that caused her eyes snap open.

Confused as if she was missing something, as if she had forgotten something important and feeling strange she gazed at the billowing gauzy white drapes disoriented.

With furrowed brows she looked down and spotted her Vervain necklace and gingerly lifted it and gazed upon it feeling as if something was absent.

Frowning slightly she turned away feeling strange she looked behind her, in the direction of the bathroom.

Elena glanced back, slowly walking towards her bed and gently sitting down at the end corner of it on top of the folded red quilt, she simply glanced at the necklace again.

When did I find this, when did I get this back...I thought I lost it, I thought it was gone?

She felt strangely empty and sad…and hurt but she couldn't place the reason why she was feeling so strongly empty, sad and hurt...oddly enough she knew...she had a feeling it wasn't connected to what happened today.

With a sigh she pushed it aside and ignoring it she climbed into bed and shut the lights off.

Letting darkness descended upon her, she shut her eyes drifting off under sleep's grasp while the drapes still billowed in the wind.

Author's Note: I hoped it was good!

Thank you all for the reviews and for simply READING! ^^

P.S I hope Elena finds out that he told her or something, or remembers (I want to see her reaction to his...actions) or some BIG Damon Elena moment happens because Damon isn't having a fun ride here...and I think the poor guy deserves some happiness, a break even. =P