Don't own anything. And don't expect fast updates because of this.

Anon, because of your review, this chapter is saved on my computer as "molestation of the Dib thing". I hope you are proud.

Warning: Beginning of a lemon

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"So you say that if I carry those chains, that gag and that box of various sex toys to the door at the end of that dark alley over there where no one can hear me scream, you'll tell me valuable information about Zim?" Dib repeated. Gir nodded, the usual huge smile on his face. Although, now it held a bit of mischief that Dib wasn't sure he wanted to be around for.

"The word 'Valuable' is debatable." Gir reminded. He still couldn't believe Dib was this easy to trick. He'd left with nothing but a box, some chains, and about $50 in quarters, and had come up with this on the way here. It was truly amazing how well it worked. It was even more amazing that no one questioned him walking down the street with an open box filled with vibrators of various colors and sizes, cock rings, butt plugs, lube, and other things small children shouldn't know about. There was even tape on the box labeling it "Rape kit". He'd peeled that off shortly before turning the corner to find Dib helping an old lady cross the road. All in all, the most unbelievable thing was he'd done this before, but only to Dib, and no one else, simply because the boy was that easy to trap.

Now, he carefully handed the box to Dib, smiling the entire time. He almost couldn't wait. He found himself gazing appreciatively at the other boy's ass as he carried the box down the side walk. He almost didn't notice that a growl escaped his lips when Dib finally made the turn into what Gir was sure was the deepest darkest alley known to man. He calmly walked after him, knowing how long it would take him to get to the end.

From behind Dib, he decided he had the best view in the city.

010101010101010

About fifteen minutes later, the faintest of screams could be heard outside the alley, almost a whisper. Only one girl seemed to notice, although, recognizing it as her brother's, she promptly left in the direction of the nearest arcade.

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Zim wasn't panicking. Sure Gir was missing without a trace. Sure he usually left a note or something. Sure the former robot was madder than he'd ever seen him. Sure he could be hiding in the shadows, waiting to do something terrible to him, like boil him alive with that dreaded earth-rain until his skin was nearly black, or strangle him, or stab him, or even r… r… He couldn't even finish the last thought. Because as much as he wanted it to, it didn't sound as bad to him as he thought it would.

Sure he had unwanted feelings he didn't understand. Sure his relationship with Gir might never be the same. He still wasn't panicking. No, he was just running around the house and glancing at the door every five seconds because he had lost something.

'Yeah,' he thought to himself. 'Your mind.'

He wasn't worried, really he wasn't.

'You're also not green'

And he did not enjoy that kiss.

'You also never tried to take over the world.'

And Gir wasn't mad at him. He wasn't even sure that it was possible for Gir to be mad at him. He was just frustrated… sexually.

'You were kind of close to him to be "just friendly", you know.'

And the boy was kind of cute.

'Kind of? You dream of-'

Okay, that was enough. What was the boy trying to accomplish, kissing him like that?

'You know you aren't that stupid. He was planning to fuck you. You know you would have let him.'

That didn't matter. That was it. He was just going to find his robot, apologize, and bring him home.

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"Ngh… Gir… why do you always…do this?" Dib gasped out as said robot kissed his way down his stomach. With his hands chained above his head, he couldn't do much about it.

"Why do you always let me?" Gir retorted, wrapping his hand around the other boy's rather impressive length. Whatever else Dib had to say was forgotten, swallowed by a gasp as the silver haired boy set a steady pace. "Better yet, why do you always fight when you enjoy this as much as I do?"

Oh god.

Dib glanced around the alley, spotted his torn clothes over in a corner. He'd have to buy new ones later. Or Gir would. His thoughts were interrupted when he felt a wet finger probe his entrance and his eyes snapped shut. He whimpered. It moved slowly inside him, getting him used to the feeling. He felt his hips move involuntarily against it, moaning as another finger slid its way inside him.

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Yeah. I did it. Next chapter has smut. Woohoo! My first published smut! Yay!

Dib: Why am I bottom!

Me: Because Gir is uke for no man!

Dib: But-

Me: NO MAN!

Gir: *Looks at Dib*

Dib: What?

Gir: *Grabs Dibs arm* Come on Dib!

Dib: *Being dragged away* Why?

Gir: *grins* We have to… rehearse… for the next chapter.

Me: *grabs camera* I'm coming too! *looks at readers* Review!