Title: Heroes Don't Cry
Author: surreal_44
Pairings: None
Summary: While undercover, Neal faces a crisis that shakes him to his core.
Rating: Strong R, please read the warnings.
Warnings/Triggers: Mild whumpage. Drugged drink; graphic attempted rape (m/m). Very triggery.
Notes: Written for the kink meme for collarkink . Prompt: Neal is undercover at a bar, but someone slips him drugs in his drink, and leads him outside to do bad, bad things to him. Peter and the team in the van can hear what's going on, and rush to his rescue!

The Scorpions' song "Heroes Don't Cry" helped inspire this story. Hence the title for the fic.

I'm not entirely satisfied with this chapter but I've picked at it so long I know it's time to just let it go.

Disclaimer: I don't own White Collar. Mr. Eastin does; I'm just playing in his world.

It was less than twelve hours since he'd arrived at the hospital but he'd had his fill of the place and had insisted that he could be released. He'd already called June to ask if she'd pick him up since Dr. Marshall wouldn't release him unless he had someone to look after him on his journey home. She'd agreed immediately and told him she would be there as soon as possible. Relieved, he called for the nurse, and told her that he had a chaperon for the afternoon.

"You should really stay," the nurse tried to gently counsel him. "The drug is still showing up in your blood work and you have a concussion. At least stay until evening so we know the drug is totally gone."

"I'm fine," Neal said to her, and tried to reassure her with a smile. She just sighed and went to find Dr. Marshall to get let him know Neal was preparing to leave. Marshall had been nicer to him this morning. Neal suspected that Peter had had something to do with the man's attitude change but the sting of humiliation from the comments last night was still too fresh for Neal to feel gracious about the turnaround in his treatment.

"Mr. Caffrey," the doctor said as he walked briskly into the room. "Are you sure you want to leave us? A few more hours here would probably be of benefit to you."

Yeah right. Neal barely refrained from saying the words out loud. Even with the good doctor finally treating him like a person, Neal didn't want to stay any longer than he had to.

"I'm fine," Neal said instead, and ignored the slight tremor of his hands from the lie.

~...~

Forty minutes later, Neal was almost ready to leave. June had brought him a change of clothes so he could leave the hospital with some dignity. He slipped on his jeans and blue t-shirt and looked at his reflection in the bathroom mirror.

The pale face that gazed back at him seemed alien. It wasn't so much the bruises and the butterfly bandages on his temple where the wall had split the skin open. It was the frightened, sickly expression on his face that made him feel as if he were looking at a stranger's face. Neal gingerly touched the most livid bruise on his forehead and winced as the dull headache he'd woken with this morning flared back to life. His reflection looked sick and tired, with dark circles under his eyes.

Neal tried a smile to banish the haggard expression on his face but his charm had apparently been abandoned in that alley along with his dignity. The grin was obviously not sincere, and it made him look a little crazed. He sighed, the smile melting away and his shoulders slumping in defeat. He would just go home and sleep.

There was a knock on the bathroom door. "Neal, are you all right, dear?" June asked. She sounded worried. He hated that he was the one who had made her sound that way.

"I'm fine, June," Neal called back. "I'll be right out."

~...~

The nurse went over the release instructions with June, explaining what Neal's injuries were, what to look for, and what to do if his condition worsened. Neal laid silently on the bed and let June ask all the pertinent questions while he dozed. The nurses had interrupted his sleep almost every hour and he was exhausted. He woke to the sensation of someone combing their fingers through his hair and he opened his eyes to see both June and the nurse watching him with concern.

"Maybe you should stay a little longer," June suggested gently as she brushed his hair away from his face. The offer was tempting since his eyes were so heavy but he figured he could sleep anywhere, and if he could pick he would choose the bed at June's.

"I'm fine," Neal reassured her. She looked unconvinced but she didn't argue as he signed the paperwork. She picked up the bag she'd brought his clothes in and told him that she would bring the car around and wait at the entrance for him.

June fussed over him as he settled himself in the passenger seat, her beautiful face pinched with worry as she regarded his clumsy struggle with the seatbelt. He'd discovered when he was getting dressed that his coordination was still off and he felt embarrassed that June had to see him like this. Finally the seatbelt clicked into place and he let out a sigh of relief.

Silence fell over them as they pulled away from the hospital. Neal fidgeted in his seat, wanting to say something to ease the lines of worry on June's face but he couldn't think of a single comforting thing.

"I'm fine," he finally managed to say as she pulled into traffic. He would be fine. He was fine. He insisted upon it and would continue to say it until it became the truth.

June gave him a quick, searching look while they were stopped at a red light, patted his leg and said, "I know, dear."

~tbc...

Thank you to all my wonderful readers, reviewers and followers! I really appreciate every single one of you!

Just one more chapter to go, I believe. Maybe two, if it ends up stretching out just a bit longer.