Doubts and Affirmations

Restless. Kelly was restless.

Driving back to her own home took a lot more concentration than it should have; she hadn't realized the green light that she was sitting on until the Corvette behind her literally nudged her own car forward. At that, something seemed to wake up inside of her and she, startled, sped forward, narrowly missing the car that was switching lanes right by her side.

Smiling, she shook her head and turned the key in the lock. She opened the door and went into her house, gently closing it behind her.

That was definitely a Sabrina moment there on the street, she thought. Laughing at her own private joke, she walked into the living room and sat on the couch, exhausted from her sleepless- and fun- night.

It was, of course, because you're thinking about her way more than usual…. Her thoughts trailed off, and she sighed helplessly. "I know," she said aloud. "I want her to be safe."

Yeah. Safe…Safe in your arms.

"It's not wrong to feel that way about her," Kelly continued defensively. "She's been my friend for so long."

There was no more doubt from her mind, and she sighed again. Somehow winning the battle of doubt did not make her feel any better.

With nothing to do, she milled about aimlessly in the house for a while, trying not to remember the huge case on their hands. Of course, she should have been researching. Any other time she would have gotten right to it. But here she was, finding a million tiny distractions instead of her actual job.

It was unlike her.

She jumped when the phone rang. Calming herself, she picked it up and sat on the couch, crossing one leg over the other. "Hello?"

"Hiya, Kel."

She smiled at the voice. "What's up, Kris?"

"Just seeing how you're doing. Jill and I can't wait to catch this guy," she replied. A loud whoop could be heard from Jill in the background, and Kelly shook her head, chuckling. "Oh, tell me about it."

"How's Bri?"

"Well, I'm not sure...I think she's all right. She seemed to be when we left the office...why do you ask?"

Kris' surprise was evident in her voice. "You mean she's not over there yet?"

"She's coming over?" She's coming over! Shit.

"Yeah." The blonde laughed. "She couldn't sit still with us. I think Jill was going a bit overboard on teasing her...You didn't know? She said she'd call..."

"Yeah, well, she didn't." Kelly sighed as she put some tea on the stove. Shit!

"Oh." The girl paused thoughtfully before speaking again. "I think this would be the perfect time to talk to her about...whatever it is. You know, just so you two are clear." Kelly froze over the counter. "Kel? You still there?"

"Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay. Uh...You know what? That's her at the door. Talk to you later, okay? Bye!" She swiftly hung up and gulped in a huge breath of air. What the hell was that? She's not at the door!

That was you being a coward.

Kelly frowned deeply, shuddering. What was she to say? 'Oh, Bri, by the way, I can't stop thinking about you. Chamomile or Red Zinger?'

Yeah, that'll go well. How about this one? 'Hey Sabrina! Today I almost got into an accident because I was worrying about your safety...and how much honey do you take in your tea?'

Lost in her dreadful daydreams, Kelly didn't hear the doorbell ring. Sabrina rolled her eyes and took out the spare key. Probably sleeping, knowing her, she thought.

She wandered into the apartment, freezing when she saw her best friend slumped on the couch with her head in her hands. Sabrina instantly walked towards her, hands low as to not startle the woman.

"Kel?" she said gently.

Kelly jumped up, grabbing Sabrina by the shoulders and flipping her over the couch in a complicated jiu-jitsu movement. "Whoa!" the brunette yelled as she landed on the wooden floor. "Ouch. Well. No wonder you were ignoring me. Apparently I'm unwelcome here," Sabrina said as she held her already bruised ribs. "Yikes."

Kelly stared at her for a few moments before nearly tripping over herself in an attempt to apologize. "God, Bri, I'm so sorry, I- I mean, I didn't hear the doorbell...daydreaming, you know, and-

"Kelly. Kelly!" The green-eyed woman snapped to attention. "Hey. You know what would be wonderful? Before you hurt yourself, why don't you help me up, eh?"

She blushed and took Sabrina by the hands, careful of her scar. Sabrina grinned and dusted herself off, making no move to sit on the couch. Kelly was hyper-aware of her nearness, and she was sure Bri could hear her loud, thumping heartbeat.

Instead, Sabrina slung her arm around her friend and patted her on the back. "A little excited, aren't we?" she joked.

"Uhh." Oh yeah. That was intelligent. "Um! Tea?"

Bri chuckled again, giving the woman an odd look. "Oh, sure. You have Red Zinger?"

Lousy coming-out-of-the-closet-option #1 taken, the sarcastic voice in her head nagged. Kelly shook it away. "Yes, I do. Make yourself comfortable."

Sabrina eyed her thoughtfully as she disappeared into the kitchen. She's more anxious about this case than I am, she observed silently.

"So," Kelly started from the kitchen, "have you gotten any research done yet?"

"Nah, not really," Bri sighed. "Hopefully Jill and Kris are doing something. I just can't seem to find the heart. And it's weird, because I know I should be diving headfirst into books, or calling my dad about Wellington, or doing something useful...yet I'm here with you instead, drinking tea and being social."

Kelly gritted her teeth. "I don't mind you being here at all," she said before she could stop herself.

"What was that?" Sabrina came into the kitchen, fully aware of what Kelly had said to her.

"Well. I meant that I don't blame you for wanting to escape responsibility once in a while, is all." Kelly, having been raised in an environment where you often had to lie to survive, was exceptionally good at bluffing- and this is what saved her. Sabrina seemed to eat her excuse right up, to which Kelly breathed a sigh of relief. She would not need to explain herself tonight. Tonight, she and Sabrina could be friends- and just that.

Or so she thought.

It had been an hour or so, and she and Sabrina were now both seated by the fireplace. It was ridiculously chilly for early September, and they had both had about three cups of tea and shared a bottle of wine amongst themselves. Bri was getting a bit loose, and Kelly struggled to keep her own sanity in check, mindful of the taller woman's infectious laughter and boisterousness. The clock had already struck past nine when Sabrina voiced her next thought.

"All right. Let's play 'Have You Ever.'"

Kelly giggled and agreed. "But how will we cope without Jill to play with us?" she asked, looking around for the playful blonde.

"Jill this, Jill that," Sabrina slurred. "We don't need Jill to make this game... interesting," she drawled.

"Fine. You go first."

Bri grinned and leaned back against the couch, staring into the flame. "Have you ever fallen in love with the same person as your best friend?"

"Of course," Kelly said plainly. "I can do much better than that. Have you ever cheated on Bill?"

"No!" Bri exclaimed, giving her a murderous look. "You know the reason we split. I am not unfaithful." Sabrina stuck up her nose proudly.

"Too bad. I could definitely see you hooking up with more than one and getting away with it." Kelly raised her eyebrows suggestively at the brunette, who frowned and folded her arms against her chest. "Hey! It was a compliment!"

"Oh, yeah? We'll see about that." Bri took another sip of her wine and bit her lower lip thoughtfully. "Have you ever experimented with the same sex?"

The question, even for the game they were playing, was altogether too abrupt for Kelly. She stumbled slightly. "What? Well, I- Yes. Once. But it wasn't really serious, just a fling. I mean, I'm not- I wasn't- I don't-

Sabrina turned to face her. "Did you like it?"

Kelly gulped. "Uh. At the time, yes," she blushed.

"Ah, so." Bri affirmed to herself. She leaned closer to Kelly, her eyes looking intently into her face. "See, when I first kissed a girl, it was my best friend. And it went just a little bit like this one." Without any hesitation, she planted her soft lips on Kelly's, closing her eyes.

For a fleeting moment of doubt, Kelly was frozen. Then she returned it passionately, savoring it until Sabrina broke apart for air.

"Well," Bri gasped, her cheeks flushed, "I guess this one went a lot better than the other."

Kelly smiled widely, unsurely. "Bri, I-"

"Shhh...No need for that now. Just live in it, Kel. Live in it with me." Kelly could do nothing but comply as Bri pulled her into another, more demanding kiss. Their tongues caressed in their mouths, and this time it was Kelly who broke it. She stared at Sabrina, her eyes full of hope.

Bri grinned. "I told you we didn't need Jill."

Kelly laughed. "I suppose you were right."

And for the first time that month, both Angels simply lived in it.